If holding her hand felt this earth-shaking, what would kissing her be like? And did she want it? Would it be too soon? Or…?
Summer’s laugh broke through the calm night sky as they found themselves on the familiar path that led to the old park bridge. She held tightly to his hand as she pressed her body against his, almost as if she could read his thoughts, almost as if she knew exactly what he wanted in that moment—as if she wanted it too.
But just as quickly as she’d embraced him, she pulled away. “Race you to the bridge!” she yelled as she began running away from him.
Well, he wasn’t going to let her get away that easily. He followed her down the path, his heart absolutely bursting with joy.
If I beat her, he told himself, then I’ll kiss her. If I don’t, then I will anyway.
Summer made it to the bridge a few paces behind Ben. Although her breaths now came out in short puffs, Ben’s breathing remained easy, effortless. “You could have told me you were an Olympic level athlete!” she joked.
“Well, I do have the record at Sweet Grove High for fastest one-hundred-meter dash.” She couldn’t tell for sure in the darkening sky, but it seemed like he winked at her.
“I haven’t got any records like that, so I think I need to sit down now and take a rest.” She pushed her legs through the rails of the bridge, allowing her feet to dangle over the water beneath them.
Ben quickly joined her. The heat from his body warmed hers even though they weren’t yet touching.
“Are you good at everything you try?” she asked seriously.
“Everything except life itself,” he answered, then jumped back to his feet and wandered off the bridge and onto the small beach below. Had she made a mistake? She’d been trying to compliment him, to flirt, but now here she was sitting on her own in the middle of a night that had once seemed so perfect.
She hesitated before deciding that, yes, she should probably go look for him. But before she could clamber fully back to her feet, Ben had returned. He sat back down with her and handed her a small, white flower. “I saw this, and I wanted you to have it. Plus, I needed some time to think of a better answer to your question.”
Summer shot him a confused look.
He smiled and rolled his eyes. “You asked if I’m good at everything. It was like two minutes ago. Remember?”
She laughed. “Oh, that. You don’t have to—”
“The truth is I’m not. Look at my life, Summer. It was a hopeless mess before you turned up. But now, with you, somehow I feel like maybe I can do anything, maybe I’m not such a screw-up, after all.”
“Because of me?” she squeaked.
“Because of you. What about you? What are you best at?”
“That’s the thing. I’m not really best at anything. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I’m afraid if I choose one thing, I’ll be letting go of everything else, you know?”
He swung his feet back and forth as if running through the night air. “But in not choosing, you hang onto nothing.”
“Okay, Confucius. You told me you wanted to be a history teacher. How did you know? Like really know that’s the one thing you wanted?”
“Well, first off, my mom was a teacher, so it’s kind of in my blood. But also I just never wanted to stop learning. I feel like knowledge can take you anywhere even if you never leave your backyard.”
“Now you sound like a PBS special.” She laughed again. She laughed so much whenever she was with Ben. “I like it. I like you. Quite a lot, actually.”
“I like you too.” He bumped his shoulder into hers and slid a little closer so that now they were sitting hip to hip. “That’s why I gave you that flower.”
“That’s why, huh?” She twirled the stem in her hand and watched the white petals spin. “Not to remind me that I’m a crap florist?”
He laughed heartily. “Nope, because it looked so pure and beautiful down by the bank. It reminded me of you, that there daisy.”
“Daisy? How do you know it’s not an aster?”
“It is an aster,” he answered with a subtle smirk.
“But you said…?”
“It’s an aster and a daisy, because a daisy is a type of aster. It’s kind of like how a square is also a rectangle, but not every rectangle is a square.”
“Huh?” Her head hurt a little now, but she liked that Ben knew the answer even if she didn’t quite understand it herself.
He shook his head and let out a slow breath. “Sorry, I get a little...”
“Teachery?” she supplied.
He grinned.
“It really is in your blood. You have it all figured out.”
Ben scoffed. His previously playful tone turned serious. “Hardly. I know what I want but not how to get it. I’m so afraid that if I pursue my own dreams I’ll let everyone down. My mom, Maisie, and even Stephen’s memory. Pretty ridiculous, huh?”
“Not at all. I get where you’re coming from. I’ve always been afraid of taking that leap of faith too. I’ve worried that…”
“You wouldn’t like where you landed?”
She touched her nose to let him know his guess was exactly right. When she lowered her hand back to her lap, he took it in both of his.
His green eyes focused on her without blinking. “What are you so afraid of?” he asked.
“Making the wrong choice,” she admitted, giving his hand a squeeze. Could they maybe change the subject and talk about happier things now?
Ben, though, seemed determine to pursue the issue. “But in making no choice, you instead—”
“I know,” she said, and it was true. She understood all her limitations, but what she didn’t understand is what had gotten in the way for Ben all these years, why he hadn’t fought for himself. So she asked, “What are you so afraid of?”
He looked up at the sky as if to draw strength, and answered her while staring at the stars. “Never amounting to anything,” he confessed. “Killing myself when it all becomes too much.”
Well, she had not expected to hear that. Especially since Ben knew firsthand how much a decision like that could hurt those who had been left behind. She gasped. “You wouldn’t!”
He turned back toward her, his face looked pale, whether from the moonlight or from the weight of his words, she couldn’t be certain. “I very nearly did.”
What do I say to that? I’m glad you didn’t kill yourself? Thanks for sticking around?
Ben continued, relieving her of having to find a response. “The day we met, actually.”
She thought back to that day. Ben’s coldness slowly giving way to warmth, him saying he had somewhere he needed to be but then sticking by her side for hours. “The botched delivery.”
“Not botched. Destined.” Ben reached over her lap and grabbed her other hand. Now they were turned toward each other, face to face. Close enough to kiss if the moment ever felt quite right. “You were the answer to my prayer,” he said. “You were the hope I needed. And now I don’t feel afraid anymore. I bet that sounds pretty ridiculous.”
“No, I love it,” she whispered, wondering whether she were also starting to maybe love him as well. “Thank you for telling me. I wish I weren’t afraid anymore.”
“Then don’t be.” Ben popped to his feet and pulled Summer up with him. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted into the night, “I’m not afraid anymore!”
Turning back to her, he said, “This feels awesome. C’mon. You try it.”
“I’m not afraid to live my life!” she yelled toward the stars.
“I’m not afraid to chase my dreams!” he raised his voice louder with each word.
She giggled, having come up with an idea she rather liked, and shouted, “I’m not afraid to take a leap of faith!”
But then there was Ben, pulling her closer, saying, “I’m not afraid to show you how I feel.”
They both fell quiet, breathing in sync with one another, their hearts racing from the excitement of it all. And
then he bent forward and brushed his lips against hers. Their first kiss, a beautiful kiss. It all felt so… empowering, which is not a word Summer would have thought she’d ever use to describe a romantic moment like this one.
“I can do anything!” She climbed onto the bridge railing and stood teetering above Ben. “I’m not afraid to take a leap of faith!”
She pushed off from the railing and dove into the lake below, letting the air carry her, feeling so alive, so unfettered. A moment later, Ben jumped too.
They were no longer afraid, for they’d found strength in each other.
Chapter 19
The next morning, a beam of light fell into Ben’s eyes and woke him up. He brought his fingers to his lips, remembering the beautiful dream he’d just had, the dream in which he’d kissed Summer and she’d kissed him right back. He wanted to lie there forever, basking in that place where dreams still felt like reality, never fully waking up to face the actual truth of his life.
Snap, fizz, crunch.
The symphony of his mother’s drinking and doing God knew what else brought him into the real world far too soon for his liking.
“Just another day,” he grumbled to himself as he rolled out of bed. His bare toes squished into the cold, wet clothing he’d shrugged out of the night before. The night before, the actual night, not a dream. He’d kissed Summer, and together they’d jumped from the bridge into the lake below—a leap of faith. No, it wasn’t a dream. It only felt too good to be true.
Finally. For the first time since Stephen had died, Ben felt like he had something worth living for—something to be truly thankful for—and her name was Summer.
“You really did hear my prayer,” he said aloud to whomever was there listening, waiting in the wings to help steer his life back on course. To Jesus, maybe. “Thank you,” he whispered, knowing then that the simple words would never be enough. His prayer, his wish, his life. He needed to say thank you in a way that meant something. He needed to go to God, just as God had come to him. Which meant church.
Luckily, today was a Sunday.
He quickly dressed in his second nicest outfit, seeing as his nicest was still lying soggy across the floor. A quick spritz of cologne and a little gel in his hair would have to be enough. He’d need the rest of his time to make his mother presentable and drag her out of the house. Hopefully she was sober enough to make the short walk. It only seemed natural that part of taking his life back would have to include helping his mother take control of hers.
As he’d feared, he found her sitting at the kitchen table, still clearly inebriated from the night before. She had a large mixing bowl in front of her and mumbled to herself as she poured a can of beer over cornflakes, mixing them both together in that gigantic bowl.
“Not today,” he said, striding over and grabbing away the bowl before Susan could drink her breakfast.
“Hey, give that back!” she argued, losing steam with each word.
Ben dumped the entire thing into the sink. “Sorry, Mom, but you need to get dressed.”
“I don’t need to do anything,” she grumbled. “I’m the parent here. You have to listen to me, not the other way around.”
He could see this situation would require a little finessing, so finesse he would. He sat down across from her at the table and waited for her to fix her eyes on him. “Yes” he said. “And I did listen to you and you were right about everything.”
“Good. I knew it.” She nodded and smiled despite an emptiness that remained in her eyes. Sure enough, she asked a moment later, “Err, about what?”
“Summer,” he answered, remembering once again the perfect night they’d shared, wanting so many more evenings like that, but knowing he first had to pay a visit to the man who’d made it all possible. “We had the most awesome date last night, all because of you. Thank you, Mom. Really.”
“Oh, you’re welcome. Can I have my bowl back, please?” She’d clearly already forgotten that he’d tossed the whole thing down the drain.
“You helped me. Now I’m going to help you. Besides I have more than just you to thank.”
“That’s okay. I’m good here.”
He said another quick prayer, silently. God could read his thoughts, right? Please, please help her to get through this service without embarrassing herself. Give her the strength to make it just a couple hours. She needs this. She needs you.
“C’mon, Mom,” he said, tugging at her arm. “We’re going to church.”
From the moment Summer stepped foot in the First Street Church, she was surrounded by an enthusiastic group of local women, most of whom she’d gotten to know well on karaoke night.
“I’m so glad you made it!” Elise crooned, rushing over and running her hands through Summer’s freshly teased curls.
“And you look so pretty.” Jennifer pulled Summer away from Elise and wrapped her in a tight hug.
“I think what the girls are trying to say,” Maisie said, with a roll of her eyes, “is welcome to our church. We’re so glad to have you!”
“Nice to see you again, Summer.” Kristina Rose grabbed both of Summer’s hands and gave them a tight squeeze.
Summer was glad she’d decided to come that morning. It would have been so easy to sleep late and bask in the memories of her date with Ben the night before, but something he’d said had stuck with her. He’d said they were destined to meet, that Summer was the literal answer to his prayer. Summer hadn’t said any prayers herself, but did that matter? If God was truly all-powerful, then he had to have known what she needed before she even came close to figuring it out. What if Ben, too, was the answer to her unspoken prayers? And, if so, what did that mean for her future?
This particular revelation provided more questions than it did answers—and that was exactly why she had come to the little white church on First Street. To find those answers.
“Looks like you’re not the only new arrival,” Kristina said, motioning with her chin toward the front door.
Summer followed her line of sight, but before her eyes even locked on the man and woman who stood there, she knew who to expect.
Ben stood proudly beside his mother, her arm looped in his. Both Davises were scrubbed and polished, blinking as their eyes adjusted to the fluorescent interior lights of the grand foyer. Their eyes connected across the crowded space, and Summer felt as if they were Romeo and Juliet finding each other for the first time at that fancy Capulet party.
Ben smiled at her, the biggest smile she’d seen from him yet—one that showed all his straight, gleaming teeth. He nodded and waved, as if to say, “Look how in sync we are. Somehow I knew I’d find you here.”
“Oh, looks like we’re getting ready to begin. C’mon!” Elise grabbed Summer’s hand and pulled her into the sanctuary. And even though she’d have liked to sit with Ben and Susan, Summer felt as if she were in exactly the right place as the music of the band swelled around her, and the people of Sweet Grove began to lift their voices to Heaven.
So this is what it felt like to belong…
Chapter 20
Much to Ben’s delight, his mother managed to sit still through the entire Sunday service. The pastor had chosen that day to teach about the parable of the loaves and fish, one Ben remembered vaguely from an illustrated Bible his mother had given him many Christmases ago.
“The story of the loaves and fish serves as a reminder,” the pastor summarized. “Make the most of what you have today, and you will be blessed immeasurably. Let us pray.”
After the pastor had given his final blessing, Ben went to seek out Summer. He found her standing near the sound booth, flanked on either side by the women who’d been his classmates growing up.
Maisie saw him first. “Oh, hi, Ben!” she said with an enthusiastic wave.
“Ben?” Elise greeted him with a reserved smile. “It’s good to see you here.”
“We were just talking about Pastor Bernie’s sermon. What did you think?” Kristina Rose asked.
Ben
pushed into the group beside Summer and laced his fingers through hers, a gesture that did not go unnoticed.
“Aww!” Jennifer squealed. “You two are so cute!”
Summer leaned her head against Ben’s shoulder as if to claim him. He liked that very much. Her friends, it seemed, did too.
“Too cute! Too cute!” Elise and Jennifer chanted, then burst apart in giggles.
“Now that I see you two together,” Maisie added. “I don’t know why I didn’t realize sooner that you’d be so good for each other. I’m really happy for you, Ben.”
“I’m really happy for me, too.” He squeezed Summer’s hand, and she squeezed his back. “And to answer your earlier question, it was an awesome sermon. Just what I needed today.”
“I’ve taught about this parable before with my youth group,” Elise said, and then dove into a more pedantic examination of the sermon.
Ben decided to take that opportunity to ask Summer a question. “Would you care to accompany me and my mother to Sunday Brunch?”
“Depends. Are you asking me out on a date date?” She whispered the question into his ear so as not to be rude to the others.
He turned and put his mouth against the soft flesh of her lobe. “Yes. And this time without prompting from either of the women in my life.”
“Well, in that case…” Summer let go of his hand and wrapped Jennifer in a hug. Jennifer, Ben noted, was perhaps the huggiest person he’d ever come across.
“Are you heading home?” the Sunday school teacher asked.
“Something like that. We’ll see you all soon, okay?”
“Oooh, you’re a ‘we’ now. I love it!” Jennifer squealed, then gave Ben a hug too.
“Hope to see you next week—same time, same place,” Maisie called as Ben and Summer walked away, holding firmly onto each other’s hands.
They found Ben’s mother talking with Sheriff Grant just outside the front door and dragged her along to Summer’s sedan rather than asking her to walk the short distance to Mabel’s on Maple. Ben and Summer chatted the whole way over, but Susan kept mostly to herself.
Love's Prayer (The First Street Church Romances Book 1) Page 11
