After placing their order for pancakes and orange juice all around, Ben decided to pull his mother into the conversation, rather than letting her shrink back into herself. “Did you like the sermon, Mom?”
Susan ran her finger around the rim of her glass and shrugged. “It was fine, I guess. But it’s hard to make the most of what you’ve got when you’ve got a whole lot of nothing.”
Ben frowned.
Nothing, huh? Is that what I am to my own mother? Is this why I’ve hated my life? I wasn’t valued, so I didn’t assign myself value? Which psychologist said that? Jung? Maslow? Freud?
Ben glanced at Summer, the shining beacon of hope in his otherwise dark life. The hope that had literally pulled him back from death.
“What did you think of the music?” she asked his mother.
“Oh, yes, the singing was nice.” Susan smiled and politely answered Summer’s various questions until the food came and she closed up again.
Summer is my future, he told himself. Does that mean my mother is my past? He eyed each woman in turn, a realization striking him in that moment.
It was exactly as Summer had said the evening before. He did have an angel and a devil on either shoulder. One represented encouragement, love, happiness, joy and endless possibilities, loaves and fishes. The other was only self-destruction. His angel and devil weren’t cartoons though, they were real—and, for better or worse, they were his.
But he didn’t have to be a bystander. He could take an active role in his own life. It was time he did just that. He could help his mother, so blinded by past grief she couldn’t see the blessings before her now. And he could help Summer, so afraid of the future that she had trouble seeing her own amazingness.
With God giving him strength, he didn’t need to wait for a hero. Instead, he could be one himself.
The homemade apple butter at Mabel’s on Maple was simply to die for, but then again that’s what you got when the main pride and joy of a town was its historic apple grove. Summer had to force herself to slow down long enough between bites to carry the conversation forward.
Ben seemed to have gotten lost in his thoughts partway through their meal, and it was never easy carrying on a coherent discussion with Susan, but a challenge was okay. Summer liked having to work to bring people out of their shells. She’d always been great with people. That was the one thing she knew for sure about herself—she was a people person.
Ben, on the other hand, tended to grow even more reserved whenever she had to share his company with Susan. He was an introvert to begin with, and adding the anchor of his family’s shared grief pulled him even deeper into himself.
She liked the new side of Ben she’d seen these past couple days, maybe even loved it. Would he be his best self always from now on, or at least more often? She hoped she could help both him and Susan find the peace they so desperately needed, and she also hoped that things would work out for all of them in the end, even though with her uncertain future and their unattractive past, she had no idea how that would happen.
Faith. That’s what she needed, and that’s why she’d ventured to church that morning.
“I’ve got to run to the little girls’ room now,” Susan announced loudly as she rose to her feet and trotted away from their table.
This was her chance to draw Ben back out of the darkness he’d began to disappear into. She rummaged in her purse until she found a stray coin. A dime.
“Penny for your thoughts,” she said, sliding it in front of Ben with one firm finger.
“You do realize that’s a dime, right?” A smile played at the corners of Ben’s mouth, and just like that, he returned to her.
She winked at him and said, “So you can owe me more thoughts later. Get talking, bub.”
He let out a slow breath and Summer’s anxiety spiked.
“Oh, please tell me it’s not that bad!”
He chuckled. “It’s not bad at all. I was just thinking how glad I am that you came to help your Aunt Iris this summer. And…”
“And?” Wait, that’s not bad at all. Why did I assume he’d gone to a dark place?
“And…” Ben leaned over to her and whispered the last part directly into her ear, “I’ll have to owe you on those other nine thoughts. I’m working on an idea, and I’ll need your help when it’s ready.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” He cleared his throat and took a long drink of juice.
Susan returned from the restroom and plopped into her chair, immediately picking up her fork and digging back into the syrup-soaked stack of pancakes before her. “So what did I miss?” she asked.
And what did I miss? Summer wondered. She couldn’t wait to learn more about Ben’s plan—or God’s, for that matter.
Good things are coming. Faith.
Chapter 21
On Monday morning, Ben got dressed quickly. He’d taken too many days off from work lately, and although Maisie said she didn’t mind—was, in fact, happy he was taking some time for himself—he still feared letting her down. Especially since he had such a big favor to ask of her that day.
He peeked into his mother’s room, but she hadn’t made it to bed the evening before. He found her curled up on the couch under an old afghan with empty beer bottles strewn across the carpet at her side.
“I’m going to work now, Mom,” he said, touching his lips to her forehead.
When she didn’t stir, he added, “I’ll be home soon. Have a good day. Love you.”
Still no response from his mother, but he hoped she had heard. She needed to know that he loved her, and he needed to make sure he told her more often. Love had saved his life. Now maybe it could save hers, too.
With one last glance toward the sleeping form of his mother, he headed through the door and out into the day. It was a big day, and quite possibly a great one.
Only Maisie could decide that now.
He murmured a prayer as he made his way down Cypress street. “God?” he asked tentatively. Although he had since become sure that there was a God up there who looked out for him, he still wasn’t exactly sure the best way to talk to him. These things would take practice, he supposed.
And Ben was good at practice, thanks to his long sports career in school. “God,” he started again. “When I was ready to give up, you helped me. You picked me up and gave me a reason to keep going. And I think that maybe you helped simply because I was brave enough to ask. But my mom...” He paused here and sighed. “She doesn’t ask for help. The only thing she asks for is alcohol.” He choked out a laugh in order to keep from crying. The bitter truth of these words hurt, but they needed to be said.
“I haven’t been the best at this whole prayer thing,” he continued. “Or religion or church or any of it. But you helped me anyway. Now, if it’s all right, I’d like to ask for just one more favor. Use me to help my mom. Give me the right words. Give me the strength. I helped her sink so low into herself, and now I need your help to lift her up again. Help me to help her. I believe you can do it. Thank you.”
Ben ended his prayer just moments before arriving at the market. As he expected, Maisie was already there, merrily arranging a display of brightly colored fruits and vegetables.
“Good morning!” she trilled as he strode through the sliding glass doors. “I’m glad you’re here early, because I want to hear all about you and Summer. Seriously, Ben, I’m so happy for you both.”
Just the mention of Summer’s name put a smile on his face.
Maisie saw that too. “Oh, you are absolutely smitten. I love it, Ben! You deserve this!”
He brought a hand to the back of his neck and looked away. He could talk about Summer all day and still not have fully expressed all the things she had come to mean to him, but today couldn’t be about Summer. It had to be about helping his mom.
Maisie’s face fell. She came over and laid a hand on his shoulder, speaking softly to him. �
��Oh, Ben. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. At least nothing new. I… Maisie, I have a really big favor to ask. Before you answer though, will you please hear me out?”
“Of course I will. C’mon, let’s go sit in my office.” She waited for Ben to file in after her, then grabbed a stack of mismatched flyers from the chair and plopped them on her already messy desk. “Sorry, sorry,” she chattered. “With Iris out of town, the notices for our cork board have just been stacking up. If she doesn’t make it back too, I’m going to need to invest in a second one. Who knew gossip was the oil that kept this whole town running smoothly? Okay, there. Sit.”
Ben nervously accepted the chair, then cleared his throat and jumped into explaining the idea he’d been formulating in his mind since the previous afternoon at brunch—the same idea he’d hinted at to Summer.
“Maisie, you’ve been really good to me over the years,” he said. “You’ve given me a job. You’ve been a friend, even when I wasn’t much of one in return, and I know it’s not fair to ask you for anything more than you’ve already given me, but…” He took a deep breath in through his nose. “But my mom needs help. She’s needed help for a long time, and I finally feel brave enough to make sure she gets it. But the thing is…”
“Ben...” Maisie pushed a stack of receipts aside and sat down on top of her desk. It seemed like she had more to say, but now that he’d begun his speech, he wanted to get it all out before he lost the nerve. He looked away and spoke quickly as he ran through the rest of his request.
“The thing is, she needs professional help, and that’s expensive. I don’t have much of anything saved up, but if you could give me an advance on my next few paychecks, then I would work extra shifts to pay it back as fast as I could. You don’t have to give me an answer now, but I was hoping—”
She stood again and placed a hand on each arm of the chair, forcing him to look at her straight on. “Ben, stop. How much do you need?”
“Five thousand,” he said, trying—and failing—to avoid her gaze. “Five thousand. At least. I know it’s a lot, but…” The words were starting to run together, and it sounded more like I’ll-pay-it-back-as-soon-as-I-can.
Maisie sat back down, began rummaging through her desk drawers in search of something. “Five thousand dollars is more than just a couple extra shifts, Ben. It will take you ages to pay it back.”
Oh, no. He’d really thought she would agree to his plan. He had it all laid out logically. It made sense, but without Maisie’s support, he’d hit a dead end. “I know it’s a lot,” he agreed. “But I don't have any other—”
“So don’t.” She pulled out an old metal safe and set it atop the desk.
“P-pardon?”
“Look at me, Ben. Your mom was my favorite teacher growing up. I love her. This town loves her. But when we lost your brother, God rest his soul, it’s like we lost her too. I understand the situation you’re in, Ben, but I can’t grant your request for a pay advance.”
He tried to hide his frown, but it seemed Maisie saw through him anyway. “Oh,” he said. “Umm. Okay. I guess I’ll—”
“No, stop. Listen to me, Ben. I’m giving you the money, but it’s not a loan, it’s not an advance. It’s a gift.”
“Maisie, I couldn’t possibly!”
“Hush now, you can and you will.” She grabbed a stack of bills from the safe and pressed them into Ben’s hands. The large wad of money felt light, insignificant, atop his palms—far too small to be the answer to all his problems. Yet here it was. Here he was. Tears of joy threatened to spill, but he sucked them back in as Maisie continued to speak, a huge smile splashed across her face.
“This town has been trying to heal from that day for far too long. And none of us will ever be able to move past the loss of your brother until your mother does. I’m going to write you a check right now. Take it and go. Take as many days as you need. Go get your mother the help she needs.”
Ben quickly wiped at the corners of his eyes with the backs of his hands. The tears had gotten away from him again, those tricky little things. “I’m sorry, I just…”
“Shh. We know, Ben. There’s not a lick of shame in asking for help. I’m just glad I’m in a position to give back to a woman that gave me so much. I’ve been praying for you both so long, and finally God has given us the answer we wanted to hear.”
“Thank you,” Ben choked out—both to Maisie and God. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome. Now go. Go, make things the way they should be.”
Ben rushed out of the store and sprinted over to Morning Glory’s, where Summer had only just begun to set up shop for the day. If she was surprised to see him, she didn’t show it.
“Why hello, stranger,” she said with a mock forties accent as she raced over to press a kiss to his lips. Ben gave himself a moment to delight in her sweet kisses, but only just a single moment.
He pulled away and brushed a tendril of hair from Summer’s cheek. “Hey, good looking,” he said with a bit of a swagger. “Whaddaya say we blow this popsicle stand, eh?”
Summer laughed and wrapped her arms around him. “You don’t mean…?”
“I mean, see! Yeah!” He kissed her again, because he just couldn’t help himself.
She ran her fingers through his hair. “So now you’re Clyde, and I’m Bonnie.” She gave him another affectionate peck. “But, actually, I have no idea what you mean. Did you take the day off?”
He picked her up and set her on the counter. “I did, and I want you to, too.”
Now Summer’s brow creased in confusion. “But, Ben, I’m only just opening.”
He took the wad of bills from his pocket and fanned them in front of her.
“Wow, now wait a minute. I was only joking about being Bonnie and Clyde. You didn’t rob a bank, did you?”
He raised an eyebrow. “I think you know me better than that,” he said firmly, but then collapsed into a laugh of his own. “Where are my manners? Summer, my lady, would you please escort me to the noble city of Austin on this here beautiful morning?”
“Ben? What have you got planned for us?”
“Not just us, but my mom too. Remember that idea I mentioned? We’re going to help her, Summer. Just like you always wanted, but I was too afraid, and I didn’t know how. Now I know how, and Maisie is helping too. But Mom doesn’t know, so we’re going to have to trick her, I think. How good are you at acting?”
“You mean actressing?”
He shrugged. “Sure. How good are you at actressing?”
“Actressing was my minor in college, so pretty darned good. What do we need to do?”
“Give me one day. Just today. Close the shop, and help me. I need you with me today.”
“Of course, Ben. I’m here. Always.”
He paused for a moment to wonder at her words, but they only had a short amount of time if they were going to pull this whole thing off without a hitch.
“I have some people to talk to. I need you on the front lines. Can you go to my house and distract my mom? Keep her busy and make sure she doesn’t suspect anything. Sneak in and pack a bag for her if you can. She’ll need it, because she’s got a long stay. Three months. But that’s all it will take to give her her life back. Are you with me?”
“Always,” Summer said, then flipped the open sign over and locked the door to the flower shop.
“Always,” she repeated as they got into her car and drove.
Chapter 22
Summer had come up with the perfect way to distract Susan and even to get her to pack her own bags to boot.
“Susan! Susan! Are you here? I’ve got great news!” she shouted as she pushed through the front door then shot around the living room, thrusting blinds open.
Ben’s mother sat up on the couch and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. From the looks of it, she’d had a rough night. “Ben? You’re home already?”
Summer needed to put on her cheeriest voice if this ruse was going to wor
k. She’d promised Ben her actressing skills would get the job done, and now it was time to get to work. “Not Ben. Summer,” she shouted. “Get up! Get up! We only have a little while to get ready!”
Susan looked unimpressed. “I’m not going anywhere at the butt crack of dawn. Come back later.”
But Summer, not to be put off so easily, strode over and yanked the reluctant woman to her feet. “You don’t understand. We have to go now. Well, as soon as Ben comes back with the tickets anyway!”
Now she had Susan’s attention. “Tickets? What tickets?”
“To the concert, silly! Didn’t Ben tell you we won tickets on the radio? We’re going to see Carrie Underwood live!”
Susan yawned and scratched at her scalp. “We are?”
Summer nodded vigorously as she picked up the empty bottles and took them to the kitchen. “And it’s not just Carrie. There’s a whole country music festival, and we get to stay for the entire thing. The radio is even springing for a fancy hotel! Now pack your bags, go. We have to be ready when Ben gets back.”
It took a little more than an hour for Ben to return, but Summer managed to keep Susan busy by asking for voice lessons so she could sing along with Carrie and not embarrass herself.
“Are we ready?” Ben asked as he came inside and gave his mother a quick peck on the cheek.
“I can’t believe I get to see all my favorite singers live,” Susan said. She’d taken a dose of extra strength Tylenol and was looking much more alive than she had when Summer had first burst through the doors.
“What?” Ben asked innocently.
“The concert, Ben. Remember?” Summer said between gritted teeth. It looked like Ben’s acting skills needed a bit more work.
“Oh, oh, right. The concert. Well, we better get going so we don’t miss the opening act. Are you ready, ladies?”
He pushed his palm into his forehead with a bit more dramatic flair than seemed natural. Thankfully his mother was far too excited to notice.
Love's Prayer (The First Street Church Romances Book 1) Page 12
