by Laura Winter
She perked up. “You helped me by getting me out. Now I can help you so you’ll adopt me,” she said, her eyes shining as she looked up at me.
“You want us to adopt you?” I asked, before realizing she had overheard Ellie talking to us the other night. I sighed. “You know Ellie loves you, right? She didn’t say that because she doesn’t want you.”
Madeline shrugged. “I know, but I also know I drive her crazy. I can’t help it. My head makes more sense when I’m around you and Finnley, and if I’m close to Finnley, I can take care of her.”
“Right now we can’t really handle having you full time, so we have to wait. You do understand that, right? It’s not because we don’t want you, we’re just getting help.” Madeline nodded. “Good. What did Finnley say about all this?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t tell her. And don’t tell her about why I want to go to class with Caden. She can’t know that I’m really the one taking care of her.” Madeline smiled up at me as Finnley sat down across the table. She turned to Finnley. “Nate thought I liked Caden more than him, but I made him feel better.”
“Oh, good. Did you tell him this was all your fault and that I didn’t want to go?” Finnley asked, raising her eyebrow.
Madeline rolled her eyes. “Finnley gets annoyed because Caden asks a lot of questions and calls her the wrong name.”
“Wrong name?” I asked, looking up at Finnley.
She shook her head. “He called me Finn, I crushed my coffee cup, it’s not a big deal. Just a little stain on my sleeve.”
Finnley flipped her arm over to show the stain on her long sleeve. She also revealed her palm with a giant blotch of blue in the middle.
“You didn’t wear your key?” I asked.
Finnley realized her mistake and used her powers to hide the scar. “I guess I forgot it this morning since I threw on a long sleeve. Some of the lecture halls get cold and I was trying to keep up with this ball of energy this morning,” she said, nodding to Madeline who just giggled.
“I stole some of her coffee,” Madeline said, grinning.
“Oh, then I’m glad you’re going off with Caden so I don’t have to deal with that. Just make sure he know’s my fiancée is off limits, deal?” I said it jokingly to Madeline, but I was really looking at Finnley. Caden was smart, athletic, and definitely more confident than me.
Finnley rolled her eyes and reached out to hold my hand. “You’re my type, Nate. Plus, I’m engaged to you.” Don’t be jealous, but if I need to knock Caden down a peg, I’ll beat him up for you.
I laughed. “Well, I’ll just have to find a new ring for you so he really knows you’re off limits.”
I wasn’t actually joking about that.
52
Finnley
Caden was waiting for us outside his lecture hall, smiling as we walked up. “Hey Madeline, you wanna go meet my professor before class?” He asked.
“Yes! Finnley, can I?” Madeline asked, jumping up and down as she yanked on my hand.
“Sure, just make sure you’re on your best behavior and stay with Caden,” I replied, letting go of her hand. She ran and grabbed Caden’s, pulling him into the lecture hall.
Caden spoke over his shoulder as Madeline dragged him along. “I have seats saved for us in the back row. You’ll find my backpack.”
I found the seats and watched Madeline talking with the professor and Caden. I was surprised at how well the professors were handling having a five-year-old sit in on their classes. This one seemed particularly interested in her, probably because as a psych professor he would be fascinated by Madeline’s personality.
Madeline pulled Caden down to say something to him before she found a seat in the first row and he headed back up. I groaned to myself. I was going to have to sit in on a random class and be front and center. I started to pick up Caden’s bag to go down to the front but he stopped me before I got any further.
“She wanted to sit down there by herself. She said to tell you she wanted the full college experience without us distracting her,” he said, laughing.
I frowned. “I don’t like that idea. I’ll go talk to her,” I said, standing up. Caden stopped me again.
“She also said you would say that and I’m supposed to tell you she promised to stay in her seat, not interrupt, and will not move until we come to get her at the end of class.” He slid into the seat next to me and waited to relax until I sat down again.
“That little shit,” I said, folding my arms. Of course she’d use her powers to say all the right things so Caden and I would have to talk alone.
“Listen, I wanted to apologize for earlier. The whole ‘Finn’ thing,” he said, clearly not interested in paying attention to the lecture that had started.
“Don’t worry about it. You didn’t know and Madeline overreacted. It’s just a little thing,” I replied, shrugging.
“Clearly it wasn’t little since you exploded your coffee cup. Also, a five-year-old doesn’t have a filter when she says not to remind you of bad stuff.”
I took a breath and folded my arms tighter. This is why I wanted to sit with Madeline.
“My ex used to call me that. Another long story. Basically, he was manipulative and it just wasn’t a good situation.” I chewed the inside of my cheek. “I’d just rather people not use that abbreviation.”
“I’m so sorry. That couldn’t have been easy,” he said, giving a nervous look down at Madeline. “He didn’t…”
“No, he was long before Madeline,” I replied, trying to blink away the tears that had formed in one eye. “I’m glad he wasn’t able to hurt anyone else. I was the only one in his path.”
“He shouldn’t have hurt you, though,” Caden said, frowning. “When did you get out?”
“Just over a year ago. Not long after that, he died. There was an accident,” I said, trailing off. I pictured the relief Clara had felt when the Cold Soul voices helped her build enough power to throw Aidan into that wall. I had been so strong after they showed me how to channel that energy. Still, Clara had no idea what she had really done to save me from Aidan.
“Not that I’m condoning death as a punishment, but I’m glad he got what he deserved,” Caden said under his breath.
“That’s why I feel so conflicted about it. I don’t know if he deserved it, or if I’m the worse person because I’m glad he’s gone. At least he can’t hurt anyone again. Things haven’t gotten any easier since then, but Nate has kept me grounded in all of it. Now Madeline does the same,” I sighed, smiling down at her as I relaxed. She was listening intently and scribbling notes.
“You know, she thinks she’s the one taking care of you,” Caden smiled, relieved to see me relaxing.
That was an understatement. It would have been nice to explain what she had done for me while we were stuck in that psych place, but I didn’t even know half of the things she did. I was drugged so far out of my mind I barely felt anything during the first weeks I was there. But she had taken care of me, giving me a gentle nudge whenever I felt like giving up. She didn’t need me to take care of her, but I sure as hell needed her to take care of me.
“You okay?” Caden asked, placing his hand on my arm.
I flinched. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve been zoning out a lot lately.”
“You know, it’s okay to have someone help you,” Caden said with a half smile.
“Not some five-year-old that I’m supposed to be looking after,” I said, shrugging.
“Sometimes you find help in the person you least expect,” he replied. “How did you get so attached to her?”
I scrunched my nose. “Long story.”
He rolled his eyes. “You know, one day you’re going to have to actually explain your long stories to me. I’m swimming in a lot of unknowns with you.”
“I’m sorry, I just told you that a five-year-old takes care of me and I had a not great ex-boyfriend and you want to dig into my past? I think those things explain my issues quite enough.”
; He laughed. “Eh, it’s the psychology mind piquing my interest.”
“Ah, I get the psychology, biology, and genetics, but tell me how geology factors into this scenario?” I asked with a smile.
“I’ve found that hitting people over the heads with rocks when they cross you does quite the trick,” he laughed. “You’d be surprised at how useful a stone can be.”
“I like the hitting idea,” I replied as the students around us started to get up. “Shit, I just distracted you this entire class.”
“It’s fine. He records all his lectures anyway so I can go back and watch it later,” he said, picking up his bag and heading toward the door.
“You aren’t going to say bye to Madeline?” I asked, frowning.
He pointed out the door. “I’ve gotta run to practice; she’ll understand. I guess she’ll just have to come back another time, especially if she continues impressing all the professors here.”
He nodded over my shoulder and I turned to see Madeline having an intense conversation with the professor. When I looked back, Caden was already gone.
53
Nate
The dorm rooms were too small to fit the four giants studying so we moved ourselves downstairs to the lounge. It’s not that college work was hard, there was just a lot of it. But of course, Finnley was breezing through everything while the rest of us just felt overwhelmed by the amount.
I was sitting on the couch with Finnley’s legs in my lap and my computer on top of her knees. Glitch and Luci were sharing their headphones and watching a video for one of their engineering classes. It felt like the only time we were getting to see each other was at night when we were all studying. Our class schedules were all different so we only got to have dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but since Finnley and I weren’t going home this weekend, we’d all get to spend some time together.
Finnley twitched slightly and I looked over to see she had fallen asleep with one of House’s library books open on her chest. I slid the book out of her arms and pulled her sweatshirt out from under her. As I draped it over, I smiled. It was my old sweatshirt that I had given her that first day of school a year ago.
My brain had pretty much given up on accounting for the night so I flipped through the library book instead. It probably wasn’t the best idea to have it out in public, but we hadn’t had enough time between classes and school work to research as much as we needed to. This book was back to Finnley’s theory about a beacon to find power sources. She was convinced she could find a way to make one so she could track the Cold Soul power source that Jackson had stolen. I was trying a different angle of online searching, hoping I could come across Jackson’s trail of psych wards or find somewhere where he slipped up and left an opening for us to find him.
It wasn’t as easy to practice our powers now that we weren’t staying in House. I think that’s another reason we were so excited to get a weekend to ourselves. We were planning on finding a secluded place somewhere outside of town so we could run around and stretch a bit. Even I was getting a little restless from not using my powers as often as I used to. Getting out would also help Finnley practice some of her strength. After Jackson basically taunted her saying she didn’t know how to use her powers, she had set out to prove him wrong. In between researching beacons, she had tried to find anything she could on Isaac’s bloodline so she might discover what they were all capable of.
“Well aren’t you freshies the lively bunch on a Friday night,” Caden said, standing next to Glitch and Luci. He smiled as he looked at all of us sprawled out in the lounge.
“Your friends are quite confused as to why you’re over here talking to us,” Luci said, pointing to a group of baseball guys who were clearly judging us.
“Yeah, they just want their designated driver to hurry up so they can start drinking,” Caden replied, looking over to Finnley. “She looks like she’s already had a night on the town.”
Glitch laughed. “She doesn’t sleep well in these dorm beds. Tell us, fellow tall person, how do you do it?”
At least I didn’t have to explain that the only time she slept well was when we were sharing the bed.
“Mattress topper,” Caden said without hesitating. “Your feet still hang off but it’s a game changer.” He looked over to me. “If your fiancée ever wakes up, party at the baseball house on Main Street. Seriously, it’s a Friday night and it’ll be much more fun than studying.” The baseball guys started shouting at Caden to hurry up. He rolled his eyes and walked off.
“Is he gone yet?” Finnley whispered, keeping her eyes closed.
“Yeah. How long have you been awake?” I asked, helping her sit up. Luci and Glitch laughed at her.
“Since you pulled the book off of me. I heard his thoughts coming and I didn’t want to deal with him,” she said, scrunching her nose.
Glitch narrowed his eyes. “How is it that Finnley, our purple-haired people-hater, is the reason we all just got invited to a college party?”
“Because Caden clearly has a thing for her,” Luci pointed out.
Finnley pulled her sweatshirt on. “We just have class together and I had to tell him my life story after Madeline left me hanging.”
“And he still wants to hang out with us?” Glitch asked before Luci smacked his arm. He rolled his eyes. “So, are we going?”
Finnley shrugged. “I’m not. You guys got invited too so you can go if you want.”
“Pretty sure he was only inviting us if you were going to be there,” I said, giving Finnley the side eye. “He seemed more interested in you than talking to any of us.”
Finnley rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at me. “Nate, you’re my type and we’re engaged. Stop over-analyzing this.”
“I’m confused. Are we going? Because I need to change if we are,” Luci said, gesturing to her sweats and t-shirt.
Finnley groaned. “You two really want to go, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Glitch and Luci blurted at the same time.
I nudged Finnley. “Come on, let them enjoy their first college party. We can leave early.”
“You guys are the worst,” Finnley said, folding her arms as she grunted. She had barely finished her sentence before Glitch and Luci had shot up, picking up their papers so they could go up and get ready.
* * *
It wasn’t difficult to find the party with the loud and terrible music. Glitch and Luci were out the doors before I had even parked the car.
Finnley groaned. “It’s not easy to block out thoughts when I don’t know the music.” She pulled nervously at her necklace chains. “I’m not going to last long.”
I took her hands away and held them. “It’s okay. Just show your face so they know why Glitch and Luci are there, and then we can leave.”
The smell of cheap alcohol, sweat, and puke slammed us as soon as we got through the door. We didn’t look like the most out of place people there, but most everyone was older than us. And the way Finnley and I were dressed, it was clear we had never gone out before. Most of the girls had on short skirts, heels, and tops that were a size too small. Finnley looked more comfortable in her long sleeve, jeans, and Converse. The dance floor was a sticky and sweaty mess so we weaved around the edges and between make-out sessions to find Luci and Glitch.
“How does anyone enjoy this?” Finnley leaned close so she wouldn’t have to yell as loud.
“Because they’re all wasted,” I said, pointing to a group of kids who were shotgunning beer as everyone cheered them on.
Finnley shook her head. “I found Luci and Glitch.” She nodded toward the corder where they were pressed against the wall, making out.
“I guess I’m staying with you tonight,” I shrugged.
Finnley didn’t give me time to react when she shoved me against the wall and pressed her body into mine. Her face was just inches away as she stared at me with her bright blue eyes. “Is staying with me all that bad?”
I didn’t give her a chance to smile as I
flipped around her and held her against the wall, kissing her. Our touch was buzzing, and I knew she was pulling tighter so I could help distract her from the music and thoughts that were pounding in her head.
54
Finnley
I didn’t understand how there were essentially two different parties going on inside the house. We had lost Glitch and Luci so Nate had gone down to the basement to see if they had moved while I looked around on the main floor. They weren’t in their original spot so I was working my way through the kitchen. Unfortunately, that’s where Caden was. I gave him a half smile, mostly because I was getting tired and fighting back a headache from the music and thoughts.
