Footprints

by Nicky Jayne

  “Riley?” I deadpan, searching her eyes as she looks deep into mine.

  “Yes! You know her?” She inquires. As much as Marcie loves me, she is very protective over those she has grown attached too especially her “children”. She is the neighborhood mother Hubbard. Looking after all those who need it. I can see it now in her eyes that this is exactly what Riley is. One of her many “children”, I have to step carefully here. Marcie is a sweet old lady, but damn she has a bite.

  “Umm, well, no, not really. I saw her this morning at the dorms with Annie.”

  Her eyes roll as I mention Annie. They don’t have the greatest relationship. I don’t know the full story and I’d rather stay out of it. As long as Eloise is not involved in that crazy girl’s schemes, then I don’t care.

  “MARCIE!” a loud barky voice, comes from the back of the cafe. Marcie’s shrugs and sighs, squeezes my hand and smiles at me before sliding from the booth.

  “I’ll be right back, with your tea, okay?” she chirps.

  “Thanks, Mar,” I smile.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Tanner

  Never in my life have I eaten those pancakes as fast as that. I couldn't sit there anymore. It wasn’t anything that happened, just the feeling that I was being watched by those eyes kind of freaked me out a little. I know those eyes are walking and talking around this neighborhood. I’d love to see them again. I wonder how she’s handling his death. Marcie never said how long ago it was, but it’d have to of been in the last seven years. Or I would’ve heard about it.

  I run the mental calculations through my head as I head towards dads place. My brain isn't working all that well and I’ve counted up her age ten times in the last five minutes. Damn, I have syrup brain…I sucked that stuff down like my life depended on it. On a normal Marcie visit, I’d sit in there practically all day. Chill, talk, relax and wait for the over-bloated, syrup-filled stomach to go down a little bit.

  Okay, so here’s what I’ve come up with so far. She’s obviously friends with Eloise and Annie, so that would put her between eighteen and twenty right give or take a year on either end. As the numbers run through my head over and over again, I come to conclusion that she couldn’t have been any more than thirteen when her father died.

  “Ah shit, Tanner, don’t you dare,” I say, to myself.

  As I pull into the parking lot of Mason’s, the skies let go and rain comes belting down. Tires squeal as people slow down to adjust themselves to driving in the rain. All I can think of doing is ditching my dad to go churn some mud with these new tires of mine.

  Looking around the front of the truck to find something to shield my head, from the beating rain. I spy an umbrella, pink with white spots. Oh lord, someone of the female variety has been using my truck. Damn that girl. I told her that if she wanted to borrow a damn vehicle while I was away she needed to use the mini. When the rain passes, I’ll be taking a freaking magnifying glass to the outside of the truck. One scratch on her and my little sister’s toast.

  It’ll do, though. Anything to keep my head dry for just a little while longer…damn, now I sound like a women. Grabbing hold of the overly feminine umbrella, I push my way out of the door, but I stop as I catch sight of a car pulling into the parking lot. It looks overly familiar, I just can’t place it right now. I am half in and half out of the truck, my foot is hanging loose from the door, while my hand holds on it so it doesn’t smash into the car next to me. My eyes are trained on the small car, with what looks like two people inside. They are sitting just looking at each other, I can’t sit here all day and watch them. Just as I get out of the truck, one of the doors swings open and an older lady comes jogging across the pavement, heading for the door. Her heels click along the wet path way, I watch as she lowers her make shift umbrella, her purse, from her head and pulls the door open into Masons.

  My eyes leave the door and go back to the vehicle where she sits, head down body slightly slumped. I don’t know why, but I know it’s her. The door opens up a crack as one more bolt of lightning ricochets through the sky, unleashing a new downpour of rain.

  I jump into action as she moves from the car. Umbrella in hand, I hop, jump, damn- I don’t know if I even ran, but I got there somehow.

  I can feel a lump rise up in my throat as I stand close to her, she is oblivious to me. Her head is tucked down low as she makes small steps towards me.

  “You might wanna get inside, Ma’am.”

  Her body jumps, I swear I saw light under those heals of hers. Her face is an actual picture, even though I scared the crap out of her. I can’t say anymore as I watch her and she stares into me, like she wants to ask me something.

  The clog that sits in my throat works up into my mouth as I cough and bring the umbrella over her head. Her eyes haven’t left my face the whole time. I wonder if she’s even noticed, but while she thinks about whatever it is that she’s thinking of, I‘m getting soaked.

  A boom of thunder breaks her, her eyes flicker left and right like pinballs as she gages where she is. Her head flicks up just enough to see the rain cover that I have provided for her.

  “Ma’am,” I walk slightly just enough to open the door for her.

  What seemed liked miles across the lot was actually only mere feet. Damn, what is it about this girl.

  As soon as I open the door, the warmth comes flooding out and hits me smack in the face. The early afternoon smell of beer and other fruity drinks comes to my mind, but the lingering smell of burgers catches me off guard. Damn it. How many stomachs do I have exactly? Gee…I ate about four of Marcie’s pancakes only minutes ago and now I have a hankering for some meat.

  The door is open a crack, I seemed to have stopped half way. It’s then that I hear her small voice for the first time and my god, I swear everything in me just went on high alert.

  “Um, thank you. Uh, the door,” she says, ever so quietly, as she reaches for the door.

  Her hand is only inches from touching mine and she pulls the door the rest of the way. I can only imagine, actually no, I don’t want to imagine what would happen if she touched me.

  A smile spreads across my face when I think of her touch though. Her hands are so delicate looking. I wonder what it’d feel to tuck her up close to my body and hold her tight. The feeling makes me warm inside.

  And just like that, my day dreams are broken by the door slamming and the sound of my dad’s voice. Good god, this man has the worst timing ever. Seriously, someone needs to teach that man the meaning of “A MOMENT”.

  “Riley, get in here, you’ll catch the death of cold out there. Tanner, put the girl down and get that case out of the back, will ya!” he barks.

  Sucking in a breath as I listen to him ramble on, my eyes are still trained on her when I respond. I have a feeling I would like to get to know her better, but it isn’t possible. It wouldn’t be healthy, I’m too broken, right? Remember that Tanner, get your shit together first.

  “Yes, sir,” I retort. I’m not happy about it. At all. Cue the internal battle.

  Dammit, I need to get out of here. I need to burn whatever this is off and quickly. Pushing the door into the back room, I walk into country central. I mean seriously, beer cans of all shapes and sizes. If I remember correctly, there’s an autographed one around here somewhere. Antlers hang just above the fireplace, and an elk skin hangs over his office chair, but right there, in the center of the shelf brimming the fireplace sits two pictures. One that I haven’t seen in years. It’s a family shot, but there is someone missing. Dad, of course. I learned shortly after mom passed that she always sent him copies of pictures to keep us in his memories. It sat right next to the most recent picture of me, when I had just made Sgt. I was so proud of myself that day, I beat the odds.

  Just standing there taking in the sight of them room, I’m brought back to my childhood and how much I loved being in this room. It felt so homey back then. Now, not so much. It’s more like a shoe closet. Not much has changed, beer cans, license plates
and other useless trinkets hang from the wall. The singing bass, that Eloise bought him a few years ago for his birthday still remains in its box. Oh, I remember that day, he broke that little girls heart and we had tears for weeks. I’m not talking crocodile tears, I’m talking full on go-to-hell tears. She overheard him telling me he was going to return it and get the singing crocodile, or some shit like that. Oh boy, the screech that came from that girl could’ve shattered glass. He promised her he’d never take it back, that he loved it. Blah, blah, blah all the usual stuff.

  He told me he’d never take the thing out of the box and once the promo battery died it’d stay dead. I don’t blame him…It’s horrible. I would’ve taken it out to the woods and filled it with a box of my 9 mil’s.

  Minutes pass before I’m shoved forward as someone pushed into the room.

  “Whoa!” I snap.

  I grab the chair to the side, to stop myself from tripping over the damn bear head just in front of my feet. Good god, where‘d that thing come from.

  “Hey, son!”

  I don’t respond and can see from the Grand Canyon sized deep line that has forged itself into his forehead, that I’m about to get a grilling. For what, I have no idea.

  “Go see your sister?”

  I nod.

  “Marcie?”

  “Yes, dad.”

  “Wanna tell me about Riley?”

  Ah-ha! There it is.

  “There’s nothing to tell dad. Unless you have something to tell me?” Ha. eat that dad, I learned from the best, remember that.

  “Ah son…be careful with her, okay…she is Crass’ niece and he may castrate you if you mess with her.”

  Crass’ niece, Crass’ niece…I know that’s the name of her dad, but why does that name seem overly familiar, as in someone I know?

  “Crass’ niece. How do I know Crass?” I ask.

  His face is amused, I can see he’s enjoying this, he obviously knows, but also just realized that I have NO idea who he’s talking about, or simply can’t remember. Either way, the sly-dog I call my dad, is playing a game or he’s going to keep me guessing.

  “Crass’ niece, Riley…you know the kid you burnt holes through. Damn boy, what’s wrong with you?”

  Damn…he caught me on that one. I can feel the skin on my neck start to burn. A small sweat threatens at the lip of my brow. I suddenly feel like I’m in a court room getting my ass handed to me.

  “Okay, right, I get that dad, but why do I know the name Crass?”

  It’s funny how his face can change so quickly. If he had any intention of running this joke with me, he knew I’d bite and mess around about it too, but not this time. Something is different, and I can’t seem to figure out why this name is familiar, and how that girl out there’s involved with it.

  He shrugs as he moves towards his desk. Watching the old man hobble over to his desk is a sad sight. He was such a great man, that’s not to say he isn’t anymore. He just isn’t complete and I know that it weighs on him heavily.

  Pulling the drawer open in the center of his desk, he pulls out a small envelope. I know that envelope is full of small pictures from when I was growing up and when I first joined the military. It doesn’t come out very often.

  Flopping down in his over-sized chair, he opens it. Sliding only a few pictures out at a time, flicking through each one and discarding those he doesn’t need on the desk in front of him. The flick of the small paper is slightly irritating. It has almost a ticking time bomb feel to it, nerve wracking yet painful, one-hundred percent necessary.

  Flick faster, old man. Pulling the arm chair closer to the desk, I stop frozen to the spot as he stares hard at the picture in front of his eyes.

  “Dad?” I say.

  He sighs as he hands over the small picture to me. His eyes don’t meet mine, as a matter of fact, he doesn’t even look at me. I take the picture, but I don’t look at it. Mainly because I’m distracted by him getting up and leaving the room. Any other day, I’d of made a joke about it, you know, something about how fast that old man can move, but not today, no. Today something has caught him and apparently, I’ve drug it from wherever it needed to stay buried.

  As I flick the paper back and forth between my fingers, I mentally psych myself up to look at it, but every time I try, I stop. Fearing what I might find on the other side.

  Leaning back hard into the chair, I close my eyes, flinging my arm over my head, all dramatic like. I am bracing myself.

  Only minutes pass, before I suck up the courage to look at the picture. Who’s to say this has anything to do with me anyway?

  Sitting up, straightening my shoulders, sucking in all the air possible out of this small dusty office, I flick the photograph over. My mouth drops instantly as I look at the faces, three men stand dressed in mess dress. A small boy stands in front of a young women holding a bundle of blankets to one side, I recognize this boy as me. My finger slides over the face off my mother. I miss her so very much. No matter how many days pass by, I’ll always love her. Her memory stands strong. To the far left, stands another women also holding a bundle. My dad stands by my mom, two very similar looking men stand side by side.

  The picture is old, but my eyes are drawn to other women standing next to the very familiar face. As I look long and hard, straining my eyes, I see it right there, I see the resemblance. Those blue eyes are unforgettable. It’s Riley, an older version of her, but it’s her.

  I flip the picture over to search for a date, but there’s nothing. I’m disappointed. And I’m confused, why he’d show me this. What does it say, other than he knew the Crass family?

  Now, I’m more confused than ever. Not angry, I’m more frustrated…I have this nagging feeling deep within me that something’s not quite right and all I have is this picture. Ah, dammit dad…come on.

  Pushing out a deep breath, I slam the picture back down on to his desk. I will myself not to get worked up by this. I have no idea what this is, so there’s no need to get worked up.

  Alright, time to kick some mud.

  Opening the door, I can hear his booming voice from here. I don’t want him to see me leave, or I’ll never get out of here. I duck out the back so he’ll be none the wiser.

  I skulk around the corner while I listen to him, laugh it up with someone. Peering round, I see her, sitting at a table with the woman who came in before her and that…OHMIGOD!!

  I know who he is now. Lt. Col. Crass’ brother. My father and the Crass brothers were stationed together for literally all their careers. Dammit…I’m lusting over a Crass, oh shit…now I’m in for it.

  Literally jumping into my truck, I speed out of the parking lot. Anyone would think I was a pissed off crazed driver, but they would be wrong. I’m a confused and extremely horny driver. Damn it, every time I think of her, everything stands up on end. It’s actually getting quite painful. Now I just don’t know…the Crass family and mine has gone back as far as I can remember. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized how far we went back, mainly because that’s the way my parents wanted it. A strange way of thinking I know, but they preferred dad not being in my life to him being taken away from me by death. Well, okay, that was totally my mother’s idea. I apparently was a complete ‘oops’, but she couldn’t bear to get rid of me, so here I am. Well, long story short, dad was gone way too much and when he was home, mom was his first port of call. They loved each other very much, they just knew that they couldn’t make a marriage work through the stress and strain of my dad’s job. Learning all of my family truths over a short period of time was a hard pill to swallow, I was not happy with it at all. I rebelled. I did all that I could to show him that his absence was not okay. It’s been a long road, it seemed like I’d never get over it as a child, but he sure made up for his mistakes in a small amount of time. Well, at least he made an effort too. He loved Eloise and at that point in time, that’s all I cared about. I needed to know deep down that she was loved and he proved that to me time and time again. />
  Even as a military man myself, I don’t know the ins and outs of what he use to do. Quite honestly, after seeing some of the shit that I have done, I don’t want to know anyway.

  Lt. Crass, was my first supervisor straight out of basic. He was only there a couple of weeks before he left. We heard rumors of course, but nothing was proven until his picture was made public on the news, apparently at his brother’s funeral. Anyway, I guess after that he moved duty stations to be closer to his niece and sister in law…Riley, that’s right, the niece that I’m slobbering all over like a damn puppy.

  I wonder if he even recognizes me. It sounds weird and I know not many would care so much about the connections that our two families have, but something has the older generation glued together and if Crass is as protective as I think he is, I have no chance with Riley. None whatsoever.

  Clearing the last light, I can see the small road just ahead of me and can’t wait to let this baby go. I’m so ready to churn up some mud. I may have to back off the whole magnifying glass thing with Eloise, because some scratches on her body may happen in the next ten minutes.

  The gloomy low clouds are blacking out the sky fast, I know I won’t be out here for much longer, so it’s time to kick back and kick some ass.

  Leaving a trail of destruction behind me, I head for a new flat area just past the trees. Foot down, I go towards the opening, Trace Atkins booms from my speakers. Damn, I wish I could have my windows down. Nodding along with the music, I see the opening to the flat plain.

  Rubbing my hand over her dash, I whisper, ‘come on baby lets go kick some shit up.’ Foot down, here I go.

  Instantly slamming my foot on the brake as the nose of another vehicle comes in to view.

  “DAMMIT!” I yell, as our hoods meet with a bump.

  I can’t see who is driving the truck, the window’s too fogged up. God, I hope it’s not a couple. That’s all I would need. That won’t help with my current situation. Fidgeting, I correct myself before getting out of the truck.