Free to Love

by Sydell Voeller

  “Sorry to say, there were several dead seagulls, though as you know, the volunteers were instructed to leave them on the beach. None of the gulls appeared entangled though.”

  “I’m glad,” she replied.

  “Some of the folks I talked to estimated the number of six-pack rings collected were much less than last year. Apparently the word’s getting out. People are remembering to cut through the rings, so that they can’t pose a danger to the animals.”

  They talked on and on, till Joanna’s voice had grown so raspy, Austin insisted it was time for him to leave. “I’ll be close by, most likely in the kitchen, painting the trim strip above the cupboards,” he said. “But first, would you like me to bring you anything? Some soup and crackers? A cup of tea?”

  “No thanks. I already fixed myself a cheese sandwich shortly before you arrived.” Drowsy again, she shut her eyes. It felt so good to simply lay still and rest. Their talking had tired her more than she’d realized.

  She could hear the sound of his footfall grow softer, then finally fade down the hallway. The heady perfume of the roses drifted her way and she smiled, recalling the look on Austin’s face when he’d given them to her. Roses. Soft yellow roses. Had he known they’d always been her favorite?

  She must’ve dozed for nearly an hour, because when she awoke, the late-afternoon shadows had grown more angular, the sunlight dimmer.

  Yet the sound of Austin talking jolted her to her senses. Or had it been her ringing landline phone? she wondered, as it dawned on her that she was privy to a one-sided conversation.

  She sat up, straining to hear.

  “Oh, no. Just stay right where you are,” he was saying, his voice tight. “I’ll be right over.”

  Chapter Seven

  “What’s wrong?” Joanna called to Austin.

  “That was Marcella,” he answered in a rush, appearing again in the doorway. “She’s taken a fall. Says not to worry, she’s fine. She just needs help getting back on her feet.”

  “Did she trip? Have a dizzy spell?” Joanna’s chest tightened with apprehension. It was just like her aunt to downplay a potentially serious situation. Marcella never wanted anyone to fuss over her.

  “She didn’t say. Gotta hurry!” Austin jangled his key chain impatiently. “I’ll fill you in when I get back.” Flashing her a guarded smile, he turned on his heel and disappeared.

  Joanna’s heart hammered as she listened to the roar of his Jeep fading down the highway. She prayed Auntie was all right. But what if a stroke or heart attack had precipitated her fall? What if she’d fractured a hip? Joanna blinked with disbelief. Why, only a few hours earlier, they’d visited on the phone, comparing notes about the night’s storm, sharing a laugh or two. If Aunt Marcella hadn’t been feeling well, she’d certainly managed to fool Joanna.

  Fretful, Joanna got to her feet, put on her slippers, and shrugged into her white terry bathrobe. She couldn’t just stay in bed... she had to do something.

  Padding down the hallway, she wandered into the front room and peered through the opened blinds that covered the picture window. Austin had left the window ajar a few inches. A brisk breezed caused the blinds to clatter against the sill. Behind her, the floor lamp, next to the overstuffed chair where Silky snoozed cast a rosy glow.

  Outside, the purple dusk was growing deeper. To her right, a streetlight illuminated her front yard, the juniper hedge, the wheelbarrow Austin had left on the lawn before he’d decided to postpone his prep work on the roof. From the front street, car headlights cut swathes through the darkness. Mr. Peabody, the neighbor next door, turned into his driveway, then turned off the engine of his SUV.

  Suppressing a shiver, Joanna hugged her arms to her chest. She thought again about Aunt Marcella.

  And Kyle.

  How, in only a split moment, could one’s life change so drastically—and as in Kyle’s case, come to an abrupt end?

  Kyle. In the stillness of the empty house, her thoughts rolled back to their wedding day. A day bathed in sunlight and laughter. How handsome Kyle had looked, how magnificently robust and alive, his face bronzed by the early summer sun, his eyes bright with happiness.

  She’d been so ecstatic, so blissfully in love, she’d scarcely cast a second glance, figuratively speaking, at any other man who’d come to witness their vows. Even Austin.

  Oh, yes, there had been the hearty handclasps and tearful hugs. But somehow the two brothers’ uncanny resemblance had never struck her—not even at the time of the funeral, eighteen months later. Of course, her awareness had not been altered only by her love for her deceased husband, but also by her indescribable grief. How could she have dreamed that in still another twelve months, Austin’s presence would be tearing her resolve into a thousand shred?

  She turned away from the window and bit her lower lip. Unbidden, the years stretched before her, like solitary building blocks winding into some nebulous future. And what exactly would that future hold in store? she asked herself. Would she remain alone, forever looking back? Did she dare dream of a life with Kyle’s older brother?

  She pulled her thoughts back to the present. Surely Austin must have arrived at Marcella’s by now. Hopefully he’d find her every bit as alert and coherent as when she’d phoned. Hopefully, somehow, she’d escaped from harm’s way. Well, as the old saying goes, Joanna reminded herself, no news is good news.

  The phone rang again, giving Joanna a start. Checking the caller ID and realizing it was Austin, she fumbled to answer it. So much for the no news bit.

  “Oh, Austin! How’s Auntie?” She swallowed hard to keep from coughing.

  “As far as I can tell, nothing’s broken, but she does have a good-sized lump on her head from where she hit the coffee table on her way down. Her vital signs are okay, but I’m concerned about a possible concussion. I’m taking her to the ER right away.”

  “Oh... yes. By all means...” She pressed a hand to her heart. “And Austin?”

  “Yes, Jo?”

  “Call me again as soon as you know more, will you?”

  “Of course.”

  To fill the anxious moments, Joanna wandered into the kitchen and began loading the dishwasher. Then, feeling a bit shaky, she heated a kettle of water and fixed a cup of mint tea. The tea would not only calm her nerves, but help the congestion in her chest, she decided.

  Meanwhile, the phone rang three more times, the first, a wrong number, the other two, calls from solicitors. Whatever is taking Austin so long? she fretted as she carried her teacup back to the living room and sat down. It seemed an eternity till the next call came through.

  “Hi!” Austin’s voice boomed again on the other end. This time he sounded more composed. “Sorry it took so long, but what with the paperwork and—”

  “How is she?” Joanna interrupted.

  “Complaining of a headache, but otherwise all right—for now at least. Your aunt told me while we were waiting to be seen that she tripped on the area rug in her dining room, and that’s what caused her fall.”

  “Oh, dear. I warned her about that.”

  “The ER doctor agreed there’s danger of a possible concussion,” Austin hurried on. “Marcella shouldn’t be alone. The only way I could keep him from admitting her was to assure him she wouldn’t be. I’m going to stay with her tonight and maybe part of tomorrow. We’ll see how it goes. That’ll also give me a chance to remove that rug before she trips on it again.”

  “Why don’t we put her up in the guest room? Like I said I’m almost as good as new, so I should be able to help take care of her. Besides, the new dusty rose comforter I put on the bed is just begging for someone to use it.”

  “I’m not sure that would be a good idea. Regardless of what you say, you’re still pretty sick. At Marcella’s age, catching the flu could prove serious.”

  “But I am better. A lot better. Aunty will never hear of your playing nursemaid to her. She’s too proud. She’ll insist she can manage by herself.”

  “Proud?”
His voice hinted at his amusement.

  “All right. Stubborn, then.” She coughed. “You might say it runs in the family.”

  “I know, Jo.” He chuckled good-naturedly. “How well I know.”

  Ignoring his remark, Joanna continued. “One more thing, Austin.”

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t forget Marcella’s next-door neighbor, the one who checks in twice a day. Lucille Shores, I think her name is. She needs to be notified as soon as possible. I’m afraid, though, I don’t have her number. If Auntie isn’t hurting too badly, maybe she can remember.”

  “Lucille’s gone,” he said.

  “What?”

  “I said Lucille’s gone.”

  “What do you mean, gone?” Joanna’s voice rose with controlled panic. “I talked to Auntie only a few hours ago. She assured me that Lucille was close at hand.”

  “According to Marcella, soon after you phoned her, Lucille stopped by. She had just learned that her daughter in St. Louis was undergoing emergency abdominal surgery. She’s a single mom with four little kids all under the age of seven. Lucille is planning to stay with them till everything’s back under control.”

  He lowered his voice. Joanna could almost see him tossing a wary glance over his shoulder to see whether Auntie was eavesdropping. “Marcella figured that wouldn’t be a problem. She thought by the time she’d be needing groceries or a ride to the doctor’s, you’d be well again. Meanwhile she wasn’t going to let on about Lucille’s leaving till it was absolutely necessary.”

  “That sounds like Aunt Marcella. Well, at any rate, we know now.” Joanna sighed deeply. “Drive safely, Austin. The weather forecast predicts heavy fog tonight. And please give my love to Auntie.”

  “I will.”

  Back at Marcella’s home, she and Austin stood talking in the narrow hallway next to her bedroom. Penlight in hand, he reminded her he would be coming in very hour to check her pupils and determine her level of consciousness. Though at first she protested vehemently, now the gratitude was written clearly on her face.

  “Such a fuss over an old lady like me,” she said as she held an ice pack to her head. “But what a gentleman you are.” She smiled and patted his cheek with her other hand. “Just think, my own private doctor—an animal doctor, at that. My hubby always said if his life was ever at stake, he’d choose an animal doctor over a people doctor every time.”

  “At your beck and call, Aunt Marcella.” He smiled back and gave her a mock salute. Then his expression sobered. “Seriously, though, I’m glad I can help. It’s given us an excuse to get to know each other better. Besides, I never had an aunt. Jo’s lucky.”

  “And likewise, I’ve never had a nephew. Nieces. All six of ‘em.” She chuckled. “Nothin’ but Barbie dolls and tea parties.” She turned to the bedroom. “Goodnight, Mr. Sullivan.”

  “Goodnight.” He paused. “And Aunt Marcella?”

  “Yes?” She turned her head stiffly.

  “Please call me Austin.”

  “Fine then. Austin it is.”

  He broke into a lopsided smile. And one more thing...” He paused, his smile widening.

  “Go on,” she urged.

  “Better get right to sleep. I’ll see you again in exactly an hour.”

  A short time later, Austin struck a match to the kindling, split logs, and crumpled newspaper he’d arranged in the stone fireplace. Joanna had been right about the weather. Later that evening, thick fog had blanketed the coast, and now the house felt damp and chilly. He’d also noted this past week that the vine maple was beginning to turn. All that added up to one disturbing reality. Autumn was definitely in full bloom—and the fish up north were probably biting like crazy.

  He sank down into Marcella’s blue recliner that faced the fireplace, and stared into the dancing orange-red flames. Though the leather was worn and cracked, it felt familiar and comfortable—like a favorite old glove one hated to throw away.

  Stretching out his long legs, he heaved a sigh. His morning had started at the crack of dawn when he’d first received the news that the beach cleanup was still on. After that, one near catastrophe had given away to the next.

  He was tired. Damn. Sheer exhaustion was more like it. And he’d be getting little sleep in the hours that lay ahead. Not that he was complaining, exactly, he silently amended as he leaned back farther in the chair and listened to the fire crackle and pop. Somehow—and it was downright scary—it felt good to be needed. It felt good to realize there might be someone who noticed your coming and going, that you weren’t merely an isolated nonentity in this crazy, fast-paced world.

  But now two females depending on him? Unbelievable!

  He clasped his hands behind his neck, then chuckled in spite of himself. Yes, that’s what it was going to take to get him through. A sense of humor. Never in a million years would he have fathomed he’d get sidelined like this.

  Good thing it was only temporary, or was it? He was beginning to wonder if the end would ever come. It looked as if he’d be putting off that new roof for at least another week, if not longer, till Jo fully recovered. And now there was Aunt Marcella. He squared his jaw. Bottom line was, she required his help too.

  ***

  The following week ticked slowly by. Aunt Marcella recovered without incident, though Austin checked in on her faithfully twice a day. Sometimes he picked up her medicine, sometimes a bag of groceries. And sometimes he simply stayed to talk.

  Meanwhile, Joanna was making her own slow recovery. Her cough finally began to subside, and the rosy blush in her cheeks reappeared.

  Yet, in between running errands for Marcella, Austin continued to keep a watchful eye over Joanna. His concern touched Joanna in ways she’d never expected. Her feelings for him had only grown deeper—and a thousand times more chaotic.

  “What are you doing?” Austin asked the following Saturday morning when she appeared in the dining room dressed in a pale blue running suit. He was sitting at the breakfast nook table, reading the newspaper and drinking coffee.

  “I’m going for a run. I’ve been cooped up inside for far too long!” she exclaimed.

  “Whoa! Just one minute.” He clasped a restraining hand on her shoulder.

  “Just one minute what?” she protested. “I’m going crazy!”

  “I understand, Jo. But you know as well as I do, you’ve got to ease back into your routine gradually. “You’re probably still weak—and prone to a relapse.”

  “I’m fine now. Besides, I told Trudy I’d be back to work on Monday. It’s also high time I started helping Auntie. I can’t expect you to keep doing that—especially when we need to get the roof on as soon as possible.”

  He stroked his chin. She was right about that much. The bundles of shingles he’d stacked in the carport a week ago still lay unopened, and he’d grown more frustrated every time he’d spied them.

  “All right. Just take it easy, okay? I’ll keep breakfast warm till you get back.”

  Her lips parted in a saucy smile. “I’ll make you a deal I won’t run today—or the rest of the week either. I’ll just take a walk. Nothing more.”

  “Promise?”

  “Scout’s honor.”

  “Mind if I walk with you?”

  “Of course not. But just don’t worry so. I’m going to be fine.”

  “Of course you are. I guess I’ve been so busy playing doctor to you and Marcella, I haven’t had the good sense to know when to stop.” He darted her a contrite smile. “Sorry, Jo.”

  “Don’t apologize. Your help has been a godsend, believe me. Taking over at the beach cleanup. Helping with Auntie. Cooking my meals.” She hesitated. “And most of all, bringing me yellow roses.”

  An hour later, they strolled hand in hand down the beach. A lazy sun shed its soft milky light as it filtered through the mist rising up from the water. The breeze nipped their cheeks and tousled their hair.

  Throngs of others had flocked there also—undoubtedly in an attempt to capture the last
beautiful days of autumn. Teenagers threw Frisbees. Dogs barked. Children with plastic buckets filled with water knelt as they built sand castles. Overhead, an assortment of brightly-colored kites drifted on the wind.

  Austin let go of her hand, then stooped to pick up a flat gray rock. He pitched it far into the ocean. They watched it plunge below the blue-gray depths.

  “Ah! Not bad,” he said with a laugh. “I haven’t done that since I was a kid.” He caught her hand again and gave it a quick squeeze.

  “Everything’s so beautiful!” Joanna exclaimed, filling her lungs with the tangy salt air. “One week indoors, and I feel as if I’ve been away from this forever.” Today, for some reason, the sea appeared more translucent. The sand whiter. The sky a thousand times bluer.

  Was it merely her confinement that had sharpened her senses so? Or this wonderful, caring man striding close by her side? The thought caught her suddenly off guard, making her heart turn over.”

  “Ah, Jo. You should’ve been a mermaid.” He angled her a look, then paused, his eyes teasing. “If I remember my Greek mythology correctly,” he went on, “the mermaids’ singing lured many a sailor. And the German story of the nymph Lorelei says she inhabited a cliff overlooking the Rhine.”

  “And if I’m remembering right,” she teased back, “Lorelei turned out to also be the poor sailors’ undoing. She beckoned them to the rocks below. She caused their destruction.”

  He chuckled. “But isn’t that the destiny of every unfortunate man who falls beneath the wiles of an alluring female?”

  She pulled her eyes from his, wondering whether his statement carried some hidden agenda. She had to ask. “And that’s why, Austin Sullivan, in all your thirty-one years, you’ve made sure to stay single? To escape such destruction?”

  “Perhaps. But don’t knock bachelorhood.” The mirth vanished from his face. “There’s something to be said for going it alone.”