Two months later, she met the man who is now her husband.
Let the cards show you they work. This experience was not a one-off, or beginner’s luck. This shit works, as crazy (see: magic) as it is. Building confidence in this area is not unlike building muscle—you have to repeatedly exercise your intuition in order to strengthen it. For the first year of giving readings I was waiting for the one that I would fuck up and get totally wrong. It never came. There was no other way to alleviate that fear than stepping into it over and over again.
There are certain milestones I can pinpoint that helped solidify my confidence. Times when something incredibly specific came to mind—so specific that, if it were off, it would have totally killed the vibe—and I said it. The first time I delivered information in a reading that I knew my client didn’t want to hear. When I intuited an image that made no sense to me but made perfect sense to the person. Simply, my confidence built each time I decided to believe my impressions. When I stopped worrying about being wrong.
These moments all exemplify why tarot is more than mere memorization. Ego will get in the way of intuition every single time. Dismantling the ego and learning to trust your intuition is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Opening my heart to my clients and learning to sit with them in their vulnerability and need is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. These are not optional components of reading for others—they are base requirements. If you do not possess the willingness to let yourself open in this way, you have no business being a healer. I know this sounds harsh, but hear me out.
When I first started reading I was high on my ego. Here’s this super magical cool thing I can do. About a month into it, a man came to me for a reading. His wife just died, and he wanted to know how he was supposed to keep living without her. About a week later, a girl around my age came to me and told me she knew she was sexually assaulted as a child but needed help recovering the memory. This is not a party trick. These are real people coming to you with real need and depending on you as a guide. It is a sacred responsibility, and if there is any one piece of guidance you take away from this book, it is to treat that responsibility with care and humility or do not take it on at all.
With that said, it is better to approach a reading feeling like you don’t know anything than thinking you have it all figured out. After years of reading professionally, the cards still surprise, teach and humble me each time I use them. To think we have the cards on lock is to think that we already possess an understanding of any possible individual person and their experience. The meanings of the cards will be as varied as the people you read for.
How the fuck do you give a reading? You just pick a spread and a person and do the damn thing, boo. The cards will take it from there if you let them.
Tarot Reading FAQ for Noobs
When giving a reading, what do I do first?
Take some time with the person before jumping in to pull cards for them. Depending on where you are, have your setup ready—the bare minimum of which is two seats with a surface in between to lay the cards out. Think about the best way to make you and the client feel comfortable, whether it is engaging in some chit chat or starting off with a quiet moment. I tend to ask my clients a few innocuous questions at the beginning—where they’re coming from, inquiring about something they’re wearing, how about this fucking weather, huh?—before jumping into the realness. For returning clients, its nice to briefly touch base, and for new clients, it aids in snapping them out of any anxiety or awkwardness they may feel coming into a reading.
Do you talk to a client at length before a reading starts?
If so, about what?
This is something that you, as the reader, can decide upon beforehand or leave up to your client. I have some people come in and they won’t say a word before we start either because they’re skeptical and want to test me or are otherwise unwilling to give details about what’s going on. After the aforementioned small talk is over (run time of which is approximately two minutes), I ask if there is anything they want their reading to be focused on or based around, any area or aspect of their life where they feel like they need more clarity, or direction. When people come uncertain of what to focus on, I advise them to ask about the matter that is sitting heaviest in their heart. I also let them know a reading can be left completely open, and we can begin with a general overview. It is worth noting that a general reading becomes specific very quickly, but that we let the cards decide what to focus on rather than setting the intention beforehand. This is the case one in every five times, with people typically coming for readings aware of what their intention is going into it, and willing to share that with you. I used to be scared of the people who didn’t say anything before a reading started, but I have come to prefer that over clients who spend the first twenty minutes of their reading explaining their circumstances in-depth. This is not a therapy session, and getting bogged down in the details of a story is not necessary for you as the reader or helpful for them as the client. If they do want to share information, I try to limit it to five minutes of conversation before drawing cards. I have found this is a healthy balance of starting a reading at an appropriate level of depth—you don’t have to do the time-wasting guess-work of “it seems like this is a love reading” but you also don’t have too much subjective narrative cluttering your ability to cut to the heart of the matter.
How do I start pulling cards?
After speaking to your client and solidifying the intention, shuffle the cards however you like. I tend to start shuffling the moment I sit down with them, during the chit-chat, and keep going until we’re ready to start the reading. Depending on how the conversation goes, this is the point where I decide what spread I will use for their reading. I give them the deck to cut, however they like, and however many times they like, and then put it back together. I am not particular about this. Some readers have their clients cut the deck three times in a certain direction with their left hand. Sure, why not? Regardless, the deck will not be put back together wrong. When they hand it back to you, take a breath, focus your intention, say a prayer and pull the damn things.
How will I know when to pull more cards?
Any time you feel like you’re about to say uhh or feel a desire to dig deeper into a card’s meaning, pull another card. Any time it seems like there is something more to a story, pull another card. If something doesn’t feel right, pull another card. Don’t be precious about this.
How will I know when I am done with the reading?
In a perfect world, every reading ends the same way as good sex—decisively, intuitively and with both parties feeling satisfied. While my readings have a run time of one hour, I never set a timer for them. Maybe it’s magic, maybe it’s practice, maybe I’ve given enough readings to get into a groove of arcing a reading around the length of an hour, but they just seem to naturally end right at the hour mark. For me, a reading ending feels like a door closing, a definitive feeling that all information available to that person to aid them in their intention has been delivered. I leave a small window of time at the end to ask them if they have any questions, but this is to follow up on what’s already been covered. In less than ideal scenarios, clients will push for more time or open up a completely new topic at the end of a reading. If it can be answered in a couple of cards, I will let it happen. But, if at the fifty-seven minute mark someone says “but what about my family?” I let them know this is a subject too complicated to be appropriately assessed in the remaining time. It’s not the best feeling in the world, but the client doesn’t always have to be happy in order for a reading to be complete. I’ve painted comprehensive, practical pictures for clients of how to move forward from where they are, and sometimes where they are is such a shitshow that it doesn’t look a whole lot better than where they are at the current time. This is okay. You are not a performing monkey. You are not reading tarot to tell people what they want to hear. If you feel like you do not have more information for them, tha
t is how you know the reading is over.
I know you mention that it’s hard to be wrong if you are aligned with your intuition, but real talk, what do you do when the person you’re reading for says you’re wrong?
Alright my sweet, scared, doe-eyed little peaches. The honest-to-god truth is I don’t really know how to answer this question. I waited for this nightmarish moment for years before accepting it probably wouldn’t happen. Granted, I don’t go into the depth that some mediums and intuitives do. I’m not going to try to pull your grandmother’s name out of thin air or intuit the city your father is from. If this type of energy reading is something you are interested in, this book is not a resource for that and here’s why: When giving a reading, I channel information from the highest available energetic source, which actually is not the person I’m reading for. It’s their higher self; the spirit-clique, angel squad that reflects a truth greater and truer than a person’s immediate perception of it. Specific information and details come in at a denser vibration as they are, really, of no consequence to the message and heart of the matter. However, they can be important if someone is coming in skeptical. Mediums—people who channel the departed—pull information from this more human, slightly heavier energetic layer to offer their clients “proof of the living mind,” of the person coming through. It can be as specific as a name or a relationship or as vague as a smell, but it will always be something that allows the client to recognize the person trying to communicate with them. I don’t like doing mediumship. I find it viscerally invasive and emotionally draining. I will allow it in if it comes through during a reading, but I do not ask for it. I’m saying all this because these are the cold, hard facts that you can be objectively wrong about. I would advise not trying to provide information like this unless it specifically presents itself to your through your intuition. If you’re wrong, that’s okay. Ask a clarifying question and move on.
What I have experienced is abrasive, obnoxious clients who come in not wanting to hear the truth. One of them came into my apartment with a dog she didn’t ask to bring with her, refused to take her shoes off when I requested she do so and then sighed and rolled her eyes for the first fifteen minutes of her reading. When I asked her what the issue was, she let me know that absolutely everything I said was wrong and nothing I said made sense to her. The cards were illuminating that her combative nature was preventing her from seeing professional success and personal intimacy. I refunded her and asked her to leave. A reader I love and trust once sent a person home within moments of meeting them because she said she was unable to intuitively plug into that person’s energetic field.
The best advice I can give you on being wrong in a reading does not differ much from being wrong in life—when you are, correct it and move on. When you’re not, trust your integrity, hold your ground and do not let yourself be bulldozed by assholes.
Daily Draw
I no longer read for myself. I’ve found that while I can be an impartial mirror to my clients, I am too personally invested in myself and what happens to me to act as a clear channel. If I pull the Death card for a client, I can discern whether it signifies the ending of an idea or a phase of life or a relationship. When I pull Death for myself I’m quite certain I will die in the next five minutes. We have ways we want situations in our life to turn out, and I find myself imposing my will, or my fear, over the true meaning of the cards.
However, while I was still familiarizing myself with the tarot I pulled one card for myself every morning. In addition to lending an intentional framework to your day, this is an effective method of cultivating a personal relationship with your deck. I noticed certain cards appeared repeatedly, or that people in my life continually showed up as the same card. There is no way to separate your readings from your personal connections to the cards, nor should you try. If a card shows itself to you over and over again as the fuckboy card, if you come to associate one of the images with travel, if a traditionally positive card comes up as a warning, just go with it. This dedicated practice will, over time, cultivate an intimacy with the cards in a way little else will. At the end of the day, revisit the card you pulled and see how your day connected to the meaning of the card. You’ll find yourself saying, “Damn, this was such a Hanged Man day” or “Wow, that work meeting today was so Three of Wands I can’t even.” So maybe you don’t talk like me (and good for you), but the point is these personal associations help create context when reading for others.
The Shitty Cards
One of the main reasons the tarot is such an accurate divinatory tool is because of the balance of light and dark in the cards. There are Angel and Oracle decks that are pretty much all Love & Light, Wonder, Healing and the like. Vomit. That is not the tarot, nor is it a way to get an honest depiction of someone’s circumstances. We all have darkness. We may suppress it or hide it or not know how to carry it. It may be foreign to us. It may dominate us. We may have reconciled with it and know how to harness it, but no one is without their shadow. To the contrary, the amount of light we emit is in direct proportion to the size of that shadow. That is a beautiful fucking thing. In our shadow resides our femininity, receptivity, seduction, flow, intuition, sexuality and a large portion of our power. To deny this part of ourselves is to neuter some of our best qualities.
When we stand in rejection of our darkness, this potent creative force will manifest in destructive ways. We end up in relationships with people who carry a disproportionate amount of darkness, engage in addictive behaviors and take unhealthy risks, all of which are the result of imbalance. This is the lesson of the pairs in the tarot: The Magician and The High Priestess, The Empress and The Emperor, The Moon and The Sun. They depict a relationship between light and dark that is in balance, which is what we strive for in relationships. But before we find this in connection with someone else, we must achieve it in ourselves.
So yes, there are cards in the tarot that are dark, difficult and sometimes scary. But if they show up in a reading, it is because that dark energy is already present, whether the person is aware of it or not. The way I read tarot is not based on future prediction. I don’t channel information that predicts bad shit happening, so the dark cards are not used in my practice as a way of foretelling doom and disaster. They are a way of honestly revealing the energies at play and painting a full picture of someone’s reality. When a dark card presents itself in a reading, I always pull additional cards to show the querist a possible pathway out, or to unearth its roots. That doesn’t mean an instant transition to a lighter place, or that facing it is easy, but that is true regardless of whether cards are pulled for them or not.
This is life. It is messy and complicated and profound, and sometimes it fucking sucks. But it is ours to make of it what we choose. And life is too short and too boring to not integrate our darkness in a way that works for us, to feel powerful and in our bodies and to face our deepest truths and fears with thoroughness and integrity. As the kids say, go big or go home, you know?
The Cards in Relationship
Just like our family influences our love lives and our work impacts our personal relationships, a card is not isolated from the cards surrounding it. The Fool in most tarot decks depicts someone about to take a leap. The energy of The Fool is informed by the card they are jumping into. Jumping into The Devil (bondage, addiction) is a much different meaning than jumping into the Ten of Pentacles (wealth, material success) or the Two of Cups (romance, harmony).
The place in the spread where the card is pulled also heavily contextualizes the cards meaning. To pull a shitty card in the “past” position can mean that a difficult time is over, whereas pulling it in “body” can connote health problems or subconscious burdens. Pulling The Lovers in “spirit” could signify a personal reconciliation, whereas in “future” it can show upcoming partnership, or travel.
As you familiarize yourself with tarot, it will become intuitive to pick up on the general vibe of an entire spread versus the individual meanings of eac
h card that comprises it. This holistic approach is the most successful way not only to understand the reading, but the person receiving it.
Reversed Cards
Many readers use reversed cards in their tarot practice, meaning that when a card is pulled upside down, it possesses an adjusted meaning, versus the meaning it would hold if it were right side up. Typically, reversed cards represent the inverse meaning of the card, and can be read as warnings or perversions of its original energy.
Personally, I do not use reversed cards when I read. I believe that the tarot is an extremely accurate and expansive system in its upright seventy-eight card formation and have not found reversed cards necessary. Additionally, reversed cards create a disproportionate amount of negative possibilities to positive ones, as they traditionally have undesirable meanings. I have never felt like a reading was lacking, or there were not enough possible meanings the cards offered by not using them. I’ve also been the recipient of some clunky, bummer, inaccurate readings from people struggling to interpret reversed cards. If a positive card is contaminated with a negative force, you will see it in the cards surrounding it. There are cards that both reinforce and oppose each other’s meanings, which I detail in their individual descriptions.
While I don’t use reversed cards in my readings, the tarot is a large deck of cards, and sometimes shit just comes out upside down. I do not ignore it when it does. In fact, I regard it as especially potent because I don’t use them, and if they are presenting themselves in this position then I take it as them really trying to say something. When they do show up, they can speak to an undeveloped energy, something the person isn’t seeing or a force that is present but somehow incomplete or unavailable. Basically, a reversed card is a wonky version of its upright counterpart and often presents as a warning.
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