The Shibari Knot

by Eliza Master

  “Yes!” Actually, she hadn’t, but it felt true. She wasn’t about to tell Dmitri about the baby. But she felt sure that doing shibari would bring balance back to her life, and she planned on starting right now.

  “If you want to show me, well, Nima’s here, or…?” said Dmitri.

  “I’ll save it for next week.” She would have something planned by then. Anyway, she’d already been here for more than an hour, and Dmitri had probably been here all day. He looked tired.

  “Yes, well, I’m going to need an opening act for the tour, if you’re interested.”

  “Um…okay, thank you.” Renata hadn’t been expecting that. “I’ll think about it,” she said. Could she really go on tour with Dmitri?

  22

  Introspection

  It was Friday, and Renata had had a great week. Using her laptop and sitting out on the roof with hot coffee guaranteed a productive day. The research for new farm locations was going well. She was proud of her work and position.

  On weekends, in contrast, she suffered. For exercise, she tried all the coffee shops in within three miles, looking for the perfect cup. Renata sampled dark roasts and cold press, but nothing helped her mood. She figured she needed sex, but from someone she cared about, and right now there was no one.

  She considered calling Nima, but she wasn’t interested in being intimate with her. And she didn’t want to call to complain, either. Life became very lonely. Some nights she cried herself to sleep. She missed Erik, but didn’t want to appear needy.

  Soon even the coffee at work didn’t make her feel good. It tasted bitter and thin. Why had she liked it so much before?

  A letter arrived from Erik, snail mail. The envelope was filled with confetti hearts, and it was scented with Erik’s cologne. He wrote:

  Beautiful Renata, I miss you. Come visit me.

  But Renata couldn’t deal with the fact that she might have had Erik’s baby secretly, and abandoned him in Brazil. Erik would hate her if he knew. She tossed the letter into the trash and had a private cry.

  “Kamber,” she called, and the dog lumbered over. “Come up,” she said, and Kamber climbed on the bed into Renata’s embrace. She pledged to do her Zazen meditation every evening, and delve into inventing her own knots. She needed to do something for herself, and shibari always made her feel good.

  23

  Katrina and Jamie

  Jamie told Katrina he planned on leaving the ranch early and would make it to San Francisco before dinner. He mentioned that his sister lived in San Francisco too, but that they hadn’t talked in a long time. Katrina pretended disinterest, but asked for her name anyhow. He called her Renata Duncan, yet Katrina knew her name was Renata Alvarez. Maybe she’d changed her name because she had a different father? Which would explain her dark skin. Katrina hoped this wouldn’t matter genetically. If she did get pregnant from Jamie, she could get the fetus tested. Then she could get an abortion if it wasn’t female or didn’t have the special DNA.

  She changed her sheets and took a bath. She’d invited Jamie for dinner. Katrina knew from experience that if you let a guy into your home, both of you know you would probably have sex. She shaved her pussy down to a landing strip, then shaved that off too. Her mound was baby soft and ready. Jamie might even end up being cute, she thought.

  Then there was a knock at her door.

  “You must be Jamie?” Katrina cooed coquettishly.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He reeked of cigarettes and sweat. “That’d be me.”

  His face was red and a little swollen. She could tell right away that he hadn’t been with a woman in a while. His Tinder pictures made him look way better than in real life, and he didn’t resemble Renata at all. Oh, well. Might as well get the job done as quickly as possible, Katrina figured.

  “Hey, handsome, can I get you a drink?” She would get her beer goggles on as quickly as possible.

  Jamie looked around before sitting at her table.

  “Bud Light?”

  Katrina had beer in the fridge, but not Bud Light.

  “Is Corona okay?”

  “You a wetback?”

  Katrina didn’t know what that meant, exactly, but she knew it wasn’t nice.

  “Just kidding. That’ll be fine.”

  Did he already stink of booze? Should she offer him a shower? No, that’d be too weird. It dawned on Katrina that the guy probably had nowhere to sleep after dinner, but first things first.

  “I like your shirt. “ Katrina smiled into his face like saccharine. The shirt was a flannel that he wore over wranglers; typical laborer garb. Katrina knew how to handle his type.

  “Thanks for coming all this way to meet me.” She nibbled her fingers like an invitation. And it worked. He scooted his chair closer.

  “How are you doing? Feeling okay?” Jamie said, obviously wanting sex. He looked her up and down.

  He was an idiot, thought Katrina. Could he really have magic sperm? She’d had only one period once since the miscarriage, and hoped his sperm was potent. Maybe doing it now and once again in the morning would be a good program, she strategized. If he stayed in town, they could do it a third time before he left, just for insurance.

  “You’re cuter than your photos,” she said, with a smile, practically batting her eyelashes. It was a total lie, but he went for it.

  He reached over and touched a strand of Katrina’s hair. Then he faced her head on. She looked into his eyes boldly. Then she kissed him and he kissed her back. The kiss was tender and unexpected. Katrina led him into her bedroom, but let him press her onto the bed. He fucked her in missionary position, with his eyes closed like he was concentrating. Jamie felt like a foreigner. She knew Idaho was close, but she has never been, and it wasn’t exactly on her bucket list. She let Jamie pump away while she lay there waiting.

  “Did you cum yet?”

  Katrina wasn’t sure if she should keep gyrating. Having an orgasm didn’t matter to her. This was business. She made a sound that could be taken as a yes.

  “I’m about to.” Then he hammered her hard and collapsed. The tension had left his face, and Katrina saw something sweet there.

  “Want to shower with me?” If he was going to spend the night, she wanted him clean.

  “Sure.”

  Katrina washed his back and under his arms. His body was strong and naturally hairless. She felt motherly towards him, which worried her. But now that Jamie was clean, she was ready to get in bed and screw some more. She’d told him she was on the Pill, which pleased him. They did missionary again, but this time he kept his eyes open. Somewhat to her surprise, he moved in ways that pleased her, and she started to enjoy herself. She came easily, which made him cum too.

  Katrina was tired after all the sex and dozed off. Some time later, a noise woke her, and Jamie was not in bed. She threw on a robe and went into the kitchen.

  “Sorry. I was hungry.” He was putting a frozen pizza into the oven.

  “Yeah, I’m hungry too,” said Katrina. She gave him a kiss on top of his head. After pizza, they went back to bed and did it for the third time. Katrina was so full of cum, it made her thighs stick together. Jamie didn’t snore, and Katrina slept until the morning, when they fucked once more.

  She made coffee and English muffins, wife-style. He sat at the table and ate her food. It was strange pretending he was boyfriend material, but at the same time worth it for four doses of valuable sperm. If she didn’t get pregnant, she could always call him back and get more. The thought of screwing him again didn’t repel her completely. Was she starting to like him?

  “So I’m thinking of calling my sister. I got her contact info online.”

  A shock wave shot though Katrina. She worried he would find out they both worked for Agri-Gen. But Jamie seemed pretty clueless. He reached over and fondled the same lock of hair as yesterday. She hoped he didn’t think they were falling in love or something crazy like that.

  “Call if you want to.” Dammit, why did she say that? Again,
Jamie didn’t notice anything.

  “I might need to head back home soon, though. The boss wants me on the job tomorrow,” he told her, like she should care.

  “I’m going to miss you.” She was spreading it on with a shovel, but if it was working, why not? Now Katrina couldn’t wait for him to leave. Mercifully he gathered his things and said goodbye.

  “I might be able to come back in a couple weeks.”

  Katrina French-kissed him instead of replying.

  How long until a home pregnancy test worked? Katrina wondered. She thought it was three days.

  24

  Dognapping

  Renata’s phone rang; the number indicated only unknown. She never answered calls from unknown. There was a voicemail tone, but Renata ignored it for now.

  On the other end, he waited through the message. Her tone was more professional than he’d expected from the small, dark girl he used to punch whenever he wanted. Jamie had heard from his parents that she had some fancy job now. She’d always been a smarty-pants. He remembered her teenage triangle of hair that he had peeked at whenever he could, and hadn’t even cared when she caught him. He tried to imagine what she looked like naked now that she was full grown.

  “It’s Jamie, your brother.” He hesitated. “Call me, I’m here in San Francisco.” Jamie sat in his truck. It was old and dirty, but it drove good. He could count on it. He knew he should leave town and get back to the ranch, but he saw his sister’s address right under the number on the phone. Why not drive by and see where she lived before leaving the city? Jamie mapped her address. His phone said it was only twenty-five minutes away, so he headed over.

  You have reached your destination, Jamie’s phone squawked. He pulled into a ten-minute parking spot. And there she was, leaving her apartment building. His sister was all grown up. Jamie had to admit that she was pretty, even if she was a darky. He reminded himself that he was stronger than she was. Like when they used to wrestle. He could grab her hair and hold both wrists in one hand. Pin her down. He’d always won when they were kids, and he would win now too. But she had a big dog with her. The dog looked friendly, but might spring if its master was threatened. So Jamie stayed put.

  Renata walked close enough to his truck that he heard her talk to the dog. He almost opened the door to say hi, but instead watched her until she turned the corner. He was hypnotized at how big her ass had gotten, and how it swayed from side to side as she walked.

  Jamie decided to stay in town for one more night. He would make the drive home on Monday. He started the truck, intending to follow Renata, but she had turned down a one-way street. Exploring the neighborhood seemed like a good idea, while he considered whether he wanted to try to hit his sister up for a place to stay. She hadn’t returned his voicemail, so he tapped her number again. The same message played. Jamie knew he was being ignored.

  Down a small street, a neon sign caught his eye. A beer was what he needed. He parked and went into the bar. The bartender was a bleach-blonde with too much make-up.

  Jamie’s thoughts meandered back to his night with the online girl. She was fatter and dumber than he had expected. He wouldn’t be running back there too soon. But he hadn’t had any action lately, and she was happy with getting fucked and even gave him breakfast. Jamie stretched his arms in the air, sighing contentedly.

  “Jack Daniels,” he called to the bartender. The free sex was worth celebrating. He felt worldly, sitting in a bar in San Francisco. At the ranch, the guys drank PBR because it was cheap. There certainly was a shortage of fuckable girls back in old Idaho, thought Jamie. He checked out the girl that just walked in. He waited for her to settle in before claiming the seat next to her. “And how are you this evening, pretty lady?”

  “I’m just fine.”

  Jamie saw her teeth were brown when she smiled, but her tight jeans looked good.

  “My truck’s outside. It’s real nice. Want to see it?”

  “Sure, handsome.” She gulped down the rest of her drink. Jamie was out of cash, so he paid with a card.

  The truck bed was covered with a camper top. Jamie held the girl’s hand and guided her into the back where he spread out an old blanket. It was cold, so he undid his pants and left them on. Even though he was seeing double, he managed to get her leggings off and screw her, without using a condom. He might have to stay in the big city, where there was plenty of pussy to get. He fucked her harder, ignoring the sound of her pelvis hitting against the truck lining. He came quick, but his dick was still hard, so he put in the girl’s mouth. She licked him, but when he saw her brown teeth he pulled out and buckled back up.

  ”Give me fifty bucks,” she said, shivering as she put her leggings back on.

  “For what?”

  “You know what.”

  “I don’t have fifty bucks.” Jamie smiled like it was an inside joke.

  The girl started clawing at his pants pocket, screaming. “You owe me!” But she was a little thing, and Jamie grabbed her by the wrist and forced her over the tailgate onto the cold street. He used his foot to kick her away, and she stumbled over the curb. Then he shut the camper shell after her. The woman pounded at the foggy window, but gave up easily. Jamie watched her cross the street and go back into the bar.

  Jamie’s wallet really was empty, and he was tired. He stretched out on the dirty blanket and slept until daylight awakened him. Then he drove back to his sister’s apartment building and parked in front. Curiosity pushed him to the mailboxes, and he saw her name there. Apparently she had dropped the family name, Duncan, and went by Alvarez now. She always had thought she was special.

  Jamie saw that her place was on the fifth floor and climbed the stairs to the top. In front of her door, he hesitated and then knocked. A soft growl answered. Jamie knocked harder, and the dog barked, once loudly. Still no one answered. His sister must be at work, he figured. He turned the knob, but the door was locked.

  He went back down to his truck, fished out a sledgehammer, and put it over his shoulder, pretending he was a repairman. He climbed the five floors back up to Renata’s door. It only took one whack for the knob to fall on the floor. It was loud but quick. Jamie stood there and listened for neighbors, but heard nothing besides the city below. The door fell open about an inch, and Jamie pushed it the rest of the way. The big dog blocked the door, and it was growling low.

  “Good doggy; good dog.” Jamie tried to imitate his sister’s tone of voice. Then he reached out and petted her fearlessly. The dog softened and decided he was a friend. “Shitty guard dog.” For fun, he smashed the pretty dining table with the hammer. It crumbled easily. Nice place, he thought, but he was afraid to hang around. He saw the dog’s leash hanging by the door, so he grabbed it. He figured the dog must be worth something. He put the leash onto her collar and the dog jumped on him, excited for a walk. Jamie bolted down the steps. He patted the tailgate of his truck, and the dog jumped right in.

  25

  The Campfire

  Renata came home Monday evening to find her door forced open and Kamber missing. Her table was destroyed, but the rest of the apartment was undisturbed. She called Nima, who raced over when she heard the news.

  “Why? Why would someone steal her? Kamber, who wants Kamber? Would they hurt her?”

  “They hammered the knob off before breaking your table,” exclaimed Nima. “That’s one way of getting in, I guess.” Nima tapped her foot. “Should I call a locksmith for you, or the police?”

  Renata had rolled herself into a ball on the dog bed. She was checking the dog chip app on her phone, but the chip wasn’t registering. She wished she had updated it. Maybe it was broken.

  She started sobbing hysterically, and Nima sat with her, stroking her hair. The locksmith Nima called came and left quickly, and Renata pulled herself together enough to file a police report over the phone. A bored voice took her information and told her they’d send an officer over, but Renata hardly felt reassured. The door was fixed, but Renata was lost without Ka
mber home. She had stopped crying, but was biting off her fingernails one by one.

  “Leave those pretty hands alone.” Nima pulled her hand away from her mouth. “Come sleep at my place, darling,” she offered.

  “Really? Okay. Thank you.”

  When the officer arrived, Renata answered his questions, and while he took some photos, she threw a few things into a backpack. She fished out some recent photos of Kamber and gave them to the officer. He seemed nice enough, but refused to give her any hope that they could catch the perpetrator. “We’ll call you immediately if we get any leads” was the best he could do.

  After he left, they walked over. Nima’s apartment was one large room with a kitchenette and a tiny bathroom in the corner. There was a single bed and a beanbag chair. Renata settled onto the bed while Nima used the bathroom. She fell asleep right away, so Nima made a bed of blankets on the floor.

  Renata spent the whole weekend with her friend, who made trips back to Renata’s place for clean clothes and to see if Kamber had returned. On Sunday, Renata called all the animal shelters in the city to see if her dog had been turned in. But no one had seen Kamber.

  Monday, Renata moved back to her apartment. It was ominously quiet. She found herself crying without intending to. That evening her phone rang. It said unknown, but this time she answered it anyway. “Is this Renata Alvarez?”

  “Yeah, that’s me.”

  “I think we may have found your animal. It looks like a dog. The chip had this phone number on it.”

  “Looks like a dog? What happened?”

  “Well, we found an animal’s remains by a campfire.” Renata hoped it was not her sweet doggy; Danny’s sweet dog actually. She started to cry. “We have some photos to help identify the animal.”