All She Ever Wanted (Cedar Valley Novel Book 1)

by Christina Butrum

  The whole room went silent. Not one person made a sound. A few people rushed to help her up, but she shrugged them off. There was no way this night could get any worse. She should’ve known better than to come. She had known Jake would show up, so why hadn’t she just stayed home, like she should have?

  “Are you okay?” Jake asked, as he lifted her up by the arm.

  “Leah,” Liam said, rushing to her side. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine,” Leah said. She was pissed. More pissed now because, once again, she had made a huge fool out of herself in front of everyone in the bar. Her emotions were uncontrollable as she shrugged out of the help offered from both of the guys. “You have no idea what you did to me.”

  She sat against the pillar, wrapping her arms around her knees. This night just got worse.

  “Lee, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Jake said, a look of pain on his face. “I… you… just didn’t know what we wanted.”

  “You’re wrong!” she shouted, not caring who heard. “Not we! It was you who didn’t know what you wanted! Ten years, Jake! Ten fucking years!”

  “Lee, what happened?” Rachel asked, when she finally made her way through the onlookers—the witnesses to this whole mess. “Are you okay?”

  Too pissed to say anything more, and out of fear of making a bigger fool out of herself, she ignored Rachel’s question with a hard shrug.

  “Let’s get you to the stool so you can sit down, okay? Nice and easy,” Liam said, picking up her barstool as he guided her to sit down. Leaning against him, she realized his warmth felt good against her now chilled skin.

  From the corner of her eye, she caught Liam glaring at Jake. Jake threw his hands up in front of him in defense and said, “This wasn’t because of me, bud.”

  “Who are you calling bud?” Liam growled.

  Jake stepped nose to nose with Liam. “You need to mind your own business. This has nothing to do with you. It’s between her and me,” he said, poking a finger into Liam’s chest.

  “This is my business,” Liam said, not backing down from Jake. “You either leave her alone or get the hell out of my bar.”

  His bar. He owned this place? Interesting.

  “What do you have with her, anyway?” Jake asked, looking more pissed off now than he had.

  “That’s not your business,” Liam said, pointing Jake to the exit.

  “You know what, that’s fine. I’m outta here,” he said, shoving past the crowd. Turning towards Leah as he stood by the door, he shouted, “I’ll see you around. Leah.”

  Leah watched Jake as he stormed out of the bar. The door slammed hard behind him. Confusion sank in as she realized she had no clue what in the hell had just happened between them. One thing she had seen for sure was the look on Jake’s face. Hurt, jealousy, and anger—not a good combination. But then again, nothing about this whole night was a good combination—for anyone.

  “What’s up with that guy?” Liam asked, giving her another glass of water.

  Shrugging, she said, “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

  Pushing away from the counter, Liam said, “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. Are you going to be all right? He seems kind of psycho.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she said. “He’s just an ex of mine.”

  “Let’s get out of here,” Rachel said, wrapping an arm around Leah. “This has been enough excitement for one night.”

  Without hesitation, she allowed her friend to guide her out of Levy’s.

  “It was good to see everyone! Sorry we’re leaving so soon, but we’ve got other things to do tonight!” Rachel hollered, over the buzz of the bar. She pointed to one of the guys who was leaning against the door and said with a wink, “Call me.”

  “Hey!” Liam hollered after them, holding her purse above his head as he made his way through the crowd. “You forgot this.”

  “I’ll be in the car,” Rachel said, walking out into the parking lot.

  Not paying attention to Rachel, she reached out for her purse. “Thanks,” she said, flinging the strap over her arm.

  “It was nice meeting you,” Liam said.

  “Same.”

  He kicked at something on the floor. She waited for something more—she wasn’t sure what it was, but it was something.

  “I’d like to see you again,” he finally said. It was cute how nervous he was as he ran a hand through his hair. “Or… at least keep in touch?”

  “How do you suppose we do that?” she asked, smiling.

  His laugh was cute—everything about him was. “I suppose with a phone or the internet,” he said, shrugging. “I suppose there’s a way.”

  Laughing, she reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. She couldn’t see straight and could only hope she wrote the right number down. She handed him the paper and smiled. “Can you read that back to me?”

  Raising an eyebrow, he did as she asked. “Yep, that’s my number.”

  “This isn’t some bogus phone number is it?” Liam asked, studying the number she had written down. “It won’t connect me to a rejection hotline or anything, will it?”

  She continued towards the door, turned around, and waved at him. “I gotta go, but I’ll talk to you soon.”

  He folded the paper, tucked it into the tight front pocket of his jeans, and waved, while showing her his gorgeous, eye-catching smile.

  She made her way out of Levy’s and to Rachel’s car. The fresh, night air felt good against her warm face.

  “It wasn’t just because it’s his job,” Rachel said, when Leah climbed into the passenger seat.

  “You’re right, it’s his business,” Leah said. “And now he has my number.”

  4

  Seven in the morning was never too early for the city streets. People were bright eyed and bushy tailed every day by seven a.m. Leah grabbed her pillow and shoved it over her ears—attempting to provide her pounding headache some form of protection from the noise.

  She felt like hell had captured and released her without much care about her well-being. She threw the pillow off her head and rubbed her temples. “What the hell was I thinking?”

  With the whole room spinning, she tried to sit up. This was only a subtle reminder as to why she never drank—there was always hell to pay the next day. After a failed attempt to make it out of bed, she propped herself against her headboard. She reached for her phone on the nightstand and sent a quick snap to Rachel. She looked like shit and knew it, but couldn’t care less. This was hell and she had done it to herself.

  A bright eyed, beautiful picture of Rachel popped up on the screen. She replied with a video. “Why the hell do you look so good and I look like I got hit by a train?”

  She threw her covers off the bed and forced herself to make it to the bathroom. She smelled awful and needed to get the stink off. She used the wall for help along her way. Hell. Complete hell. Her head throbbed and the room spun. Her phone vibrated in her fist as she finally made it to the bathroom.

  Tossing the phone on the counter, she turned the shower on steaming hot, slowly undressed, and once again used the wall for support. She climbed into the shower and once the hot water hit her bare skin, she vowed to never drink ever again.

  Her phone vibrated noisily against the ceramic countertop of the sink. She scrubbed shampoo through her hair and prayed for the shower to take away the hangover from hell.

  For a good ten minutes she did nothing but stand under the water, wishing the pain away. The night before had been fun, but so much crap had happened; she wasn’t even sure if she remembered it all.

  She shut the water off, reached out for the bright blue towel, and dried off. With some relief from the pounding headache, thoughts tumbled about. The thought of Jake surfaced and she remembered the look on his face—the jealousy and the hurt that had pained him.

  She tousled her hair with the towel and tossed it to the floor. Grabbing her phone, she thumbed through her unopene
d messages. Of course Rachel had replied with a video—just to prove how beautiful she really was and rub in how well she could handle the aftermath of alcohol. Leah hadn’t been that lucky.

  Good morning beautiful

  She smiled at the message that awaited her next. A bit confused as to who the number belonged to, she replied, asking who her morning greeter could possibly be.

  I’ll give you a hint. According to your friend, my new nickname is Bartender Hottie

  She smiled at the memory from last night. Good morning

  Looking in the mirror, she blow-dried her hair and applied her makeup after she brushed her teeth. She sent a picture to Rachel with a smile plastered on her face. She still had a slight headache, but it was manageable.

  Damn, what got into you?

  What?

  You never wear makeup…

  I do, sometimes…

  Are we getting breakfast or nah?

  Before she could reply to Rachel, another text from Liam barged in.

  So… I was thinking about seeing you again...

  Even with a smile on her face, she was scared shitless. She wasn’t ready for this. She sent a quick text to Rachel.

  Long story short, he texted me and now wants to see me again

  So??

  Rach, I’m not ready for this

  Why are we texting? Come to the living room and we’ll talk, silly!

  “What do you mean you’re not ready for this? You don’t even know what this is,” Rachel asked, the minute Leah walked into the living room.

  “Most guys start out with the cute texts, the welcoming date nights followed with ‘I’ll take you to bed before you meet my mother.’ ”

  Rachel made coffee and dug a mug out of the cupboard. “How do you know that’s how it’ll go?”

  Leah crossed her arms in front of her—only then realizing she hadn’t fully dressed, as she stood in just her sports bra and shorts. “Because that’s how the last few have been. Besides, he owns a bar.”

  Rachel raised an eyebrow. “So?”

  “So…he owns a bar, which means he’s way out of my league for starters,” Leah said, struggling into her shirt. “Plus, I’m sure I’m not the only woman who has caught his attention. Please refer back to the fact that he owns a bar.”

  Rachel poured coffee into her mug, added a bunch of sugar, and stirred it in. She offered to pour Leah a cup, but Leah shook her head. The last thing she needed was caffeine. Her heart was ready to explode as it was.

  “Either way, he’s still waiting for you to reply,” Rachel said, pointing to Leah’s phone lying on the counter. Rachel leaned on the counter and drank her coffee, while Leah flipped the phone over and over in her hand.

  “I can’t keep doing this,” Leah said. “I can’t keep falling for men who have no intention of staying with me.”

  Rachel took a seat in the oversized chair. “Lee, we’ve all been there,” Rachel said, sipping her coffee. “But to be fair, I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt.”

  Leah sighed and opened the message she had received from him. She studied it for a few minutes—recalling some of her memory from the night before.

  “Besides,” Rachel said, sitting forward in the chair. She put her mug down on the stand. “He lives in that beautiful country town you’ve always dreamed of. And he owns his own damned business.” She wiggled her eyebrows and said, “That should be a done, signed, deal for you.”

  She had a valid point, but it wouldn’t be valid if Leah ended up with yet another heartbreak. She couldn’t argue the fact that Cedar Valley was exactly the small country town she had dreamed of living in since she was young. And she definitely couldn’t argue the fact how impressed she was that he had his own business.

  “What do I say to him?” Leah asked, her heart racing at the thought of seeing him again.

  “What do you want to say to him?” Rachel asked, wearing a shitty grin. “I’d keep it appropriate though… at least at first.”

  Leah laughed. “You? Keep it appropriate? Get out of here.”

  Rachel picked up her mug and made her way to the coffee pot. “I try. Gotta give me credit there.” She topped her mug off and walked back to the chair. “I just meant keep it rated PG. You don’t have to let him in your pants right away, you know?”

  Leah lost it in laughter. Of all people to give her that advice. She never got laid on the first date, or second at that—not that she didn’t have offers—she just didn’t have the desire to. She had been content with how her dates had gone in the past—except for the heartbreak when they didn’t work out. Her biggest heartbreak hadn’t been from a man she had dated, but rather from a man she had fallen head over heels in love with in high school. Everyone—including her—had believed they were the high school sweethearts who would marry one day. She believed they would have, if he hadn’t decided to walk away.

  “Earth to Lee,” Rachel said, waving a hand in front of Leah’s face. “Are you going to text him or keep the poor guy waiting?”

  Leah focused on his message. The thought of him wanting to see her again was hopeful, but then again, that’s how they all started out. Cute messages, flowers, dates, and then boom, heartbreak and never see them again. She ran her thumb over the screen. She couldn’t deny there had been something between them last night. She could agree to see him, but it didn’t mean she was promising anything more than just friends, right?

  Ok.

  She hit send and set her phone down. Her heart was damned near bounding out of her chest. “There, done.”

  “What’d you say?”

  There had been a lot she had wanted to tell him. For starters, she would have liked to tell him that she was fine with seeing him again, but they would only be friends and that’s it—and there was absolutely no way she was going to change her mind. “I said ok.”

  “That’s it?” Rachel asked, climbing out of the chair, she placed her mug in the sink.

  “What do you mean that’s it?”

  Rachel shook her head. “You could’ve said ‘sure I’d love to see you again.’ ” Rachel ran a hand through her curls. “Or, you could’ve asked him when he would like to see you again, but I would’ve most likely gone with the first option.”

  “Sorry, I’m not a pro like you,” Leah admitted, running a nervous hand through her hair. “I’m just scared of getting hurt again. I don’t want to put myself out there just to get my ass handed back to me with another broken heart.”

  “No one said you have to be pro at this,” Rachel said, coming over to the couch to sit next to Leah. She grabbed Leah’s hand and said, “You can’t just sit here in Rockford Bay’s finest apartment complex and ignore dating just because you’re afraid of getting hurt.”

  “I’m not necessarily hiding out, if that’s what you’re saying,” Leah said. “I go to work and I have a social life, if I might add.”

  “Lee, I’m just saying heartbreak is going to happen, it’s life,” Rachel said, keeping eye contact with Leah. “You can get hit by a bus right out front, and that would suck too, but you have to take the chance of falling in love or getting hit by a bus. There’s no way around it.”

  5

  “Can I buy you girls a drink?” the man asked, sitting on the other side of Rachel.

  “That guy’s trying to get you drunk,” Leah pointed out to Rachel.

  Chuckling, Rachel turned in her seat. She extended her hand to the man and said, “Yes, but first, let me introduce myself.”

  “I’m Rachel and this is Leah,” Rachel kindly introduced them to the man who sat two stools away.

  He reached over and shook Rachel’s hand, and in turn, reached for Leah’s and shook hers too. “I’m Weston, but most people around here call me Wes.” He held up his drink, looked back to his friends and said, “I’d like you to meet my friends.”

  Rachel and Leah followed him down to the end of the bar where he stopped in front of two older gentlemen. “This is Thomas and Edwin.”

&nbs
p; They politely shook hands with them. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Of course, we’re way too old for you young girls, but my grandson here, he’s free for the taking,” Wes winked and pointed his thumb in Liam’s direction.

  “Is that so?” Rachel asked while she nudged Leah a couple times with her elbow. She looked at Leah and said, “Did you hear that? He’s free for the taking.”

  Smiling with a nod, Leah said, “Yep, sure did.”

  Liam leaned on the counter and asked what they’d be drinking. His face had turned a light shade of red, and his eyes were a deeper blue than they had been the night before. “Come on, Gramps,” he shook a finger at the old man, “What’d I tell you about pimping me out to the ladies?”

  “That’s nonsense, son,” Wes said, waving away the accusation. He looked at Rachel and Leah. “You girls get whatever you want, it’s on me.”

  “Thank you,” Leah said, as Wes claimed his seat next to Thomas and Edwin.

  “I’ll take sex on the beach,” she said, trying hard not to blush when she said it.

  Liam pushed away from the counter and tossed the towel over his shoulder. The smirk on his face told all before he could say, “Whatever I can assist you with.”

  The wink didn’t go unnoticed, and neither would her pink-shaded cheeks. While looking at Rachel, she pointed a finger toward Liam and said, “He thinks he’s cute.”

  Rachel tossed her second drink back and followed up with a laugh that echoed throughout the bar. “I’m sure he already knows that.” She had no idea how to use an inside voice.

  Liam set her drink in front of her and walked off toward his grandfather and his friends. She watched the exchange between Liam and his grandfather. She wasn’t able to read many people, but she could tell they had a close bond—almost like a father and son.