All She Ever Wanted (Cedar Valley Novel Book 1)

by Christina Butrum

  Leah smiled and said, “A margarita sounds really good.”

  “I don’t think I’d make it past security.” He motioned a thumb toward the hallway. “Have you seen all those nurses out there? They’re a tough crowd.”

  Leah was relieved when she heard Rachel chuckle. Rachel was still shedding tears, but laughing none-the-less—these were the crazy pregnancy hormones she had to look forward to someday.

  “Sneak it in,” Leah insisted, with a huge smirk on her face. “Grab one of those insulated tumblers and bring it in that. Better yet, make it a Jack and Coke.”

  Liam shook his head. “How about a couple of chocolate shakes?” He asked. “One for each of you.”

  “Count me out of that. Ice cream doesn’t sound too great right now,” Rachel said, scrunching her nose. She looked like she was going to hurl at the thought of it.

  Leah waved to Liam as he opened the door and escaped. She couldn’t blame him. He had caught on that a girl talk was underway. As much as she wanted him around, her best friend needed her right now.

  “Rach, what’s going on?” Leah said, patting the empty spot next to her. Rachel curled up next to Leah, pulling the blanket close to her chin. Placing an arm around her, Leah asked, “What happened?”

  “Everything…” She was a blubbering mess. Tears she was sure were mixed with snot soaked Leah’s shirt. She cringed at the thought, but shook it off with each uncontrollable sob Rachel let out.

  Leah turned onto her side, holding Rachel the best she could. The IV line was tangled in the bed railing under the blanket. She relaxed her arm just enough so she didn’t have to worry about yanking the IV out of her hand—she hated needles, and there was no way she’d allow them to stick her again. The last month had been enough for her—every week there was an issue with her IV.

  Rachel pulled the blanket up as she leaned forward and crossed her legs Indian style. She held her face in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees. Rachel’s crying was gut-wrenching, almost heartbreaking to hear. Leah ran a hand up and down Rachel’s back in an attempt to soothe her. She’d wait patiently for her friend to tell her what had happened. It was hard to imagine what could’ve possibly gone so wrong. She could only hope this was a small bump in the road for Rachel.

  She’d missed so much because of this stupid car accident, and being kept in this stupid hospital room.

  “I don’t know where to start,” Rachel finally said, once she had her emotions under control. She blew her nose in the Kleenex that Leah had offered her. “It’s not like I had planned for this to happen.”

  In all these years, Leah knew that it was something they had both wanted in life, but maybe now wasn’t the right time for Rachel…

  Leah rubbed Rachel’s back. She didn’t have the right words to say, and even if she did, she had no way of knowing what Rachel wanted to hear.

  “One week, he proposes, and we’re engaged,” she said, sniffling back a few more fallen tears. “And the next, I’m pregnant and he’s upset.”

  The sobs raked through Rachel’s body, causing her to shake against Leah. “Rachel, I had no idea,” she said, struggling to find the right words to say. “I’m sorry.”

  Sitting up, Rachel angrily swiped away the tears—hormones were full of rage, now. “I’m so angry, I could cry,” she said, clenching a fist full of Kleenex.

  “Well, I think that’s what you’re doing now,” Leah said, smiling. She wanted her best friend back. She hated to see Rachel like this. This wasn’t the Rachel she had known all these years. Hell, she had barely cried when she went through her divorce.

  “These hormones are wicked,” Rachel said, wiping away the stray tears from her cheeks. “One minute I’m happy and the next I’m ready to tear someone a new asshole.”

  Their laughter could’ve been heard in the hallway. It felt good to laugh about it, but Leah knew Rachel wasn’t happy.

  “Well, at least now I know what I have to look forward to,” Leah said, laughter drowned out the beeping of the machines. Leah took hold of Rachel’s hand, squeezed it, and said, “I know you’re not sure about things right now, but I think it will all be okay.”

  The smile that crept onto Rachel’s face was one of doubt. “I’m not so sure about that. He was pretty upset,” Rachel said.

  “Have you talked to him about it?”

  Rachel raised her left hand in front of Leah. That’s when Leah noticed her bare finger—her ring was gone. Leah gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. “He said we’re through, and he doesn’t want anything to do with me or the baby. He told me that he thinks I’m trying to trap him,” Rachel explained, her face twisted once again with the mix of emotions that were in a tangled, hectic mess. “He won’t answer my messages or my phone calls... He’s ignoring me.”

  “Rach,” Leah said, pausing just long enough to try to get her words right. “You’re stronger than this. No matter what, you’re able to overcome this. You really don’t need that kind of bullshit in your life.”

  Rachel nodded, wiping makeup-stained tears from her cheeks. Leah felt the sting of tears in her eyes as she waited for a response from Rachel. When Rachel didn’t say anything, she continued, “Who knows if that’s truly how he feels. Hell, maybe he’s just scared, or maybe he’s just in shock. Men get scared, you know?”

  Rachel shrugged a shoulder.

  “Give him time to digest it,” Leah encouraged. “Let him chew on it awhile.”

  Rachel blew her nose, unleashing more uncontrollable crying. She had moved from the bed to the chair next to the cluttered stand.

  “I know I may not be the best one to give advice, but from my experience,” she said. “Men do get scared. They get scared and do dumb things. I don’t think men are equipped to deal with their emotions. So, instead of talking or figuring things out, they run.”

  “I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

  “You’re going to wait,” Leah said. “You’re not going to give up. You’re going to wait, and even if he doesn’t come around, you’re still going to be the best mommy to that little one that you can be. There’s no doubt about that.”

  “I’m not good at waiting,” Rachel said, dabbing her eyes with another Kleenex. “And I hate the fact that he has this much control over me. He has no right to do this to me. It isn’t fair.”

  “Rach, seriously?” Leah asked, with her eyebrow raised. “It’s going to be okay.”

  Whether or not she believed it herself, she wanted Rachel to believe it. The thought of her friend being all alone through this pregnancy was enough to scare her. She couldn’t blame Rachel for being scared.

  “I have to get going,” Rachel said, tossing a handful of used Kleenex into the trash can. “I have to work conferences tonight and I’m already dreading it.”

  “I’ll see you soon,” Leah said.

  The thought of hardly seeing Rachel crossed her mind. She had been so excited to get started with the project for Levy’s, but now she wasn’t so sure that was the best thing to do. She would have to make sure Rachel would be okay without her at the apartment.

  As soon as Rachel left, she pulled out her notebook and reevaluated her plans, hoping Scott would come to his senses and make everything right again.

  20

  By the time she was released from the hospital, the doctor had removed her cast and referred her to physical therapy, with some concern with the weakening of the muscles in her leg. He wanted her to attend one session a week with the nearby physical therapist, and demanded that she take it easy for at least a couple of more weeks—being as he took the cast off a bit early.

  “Your spleen looks great on the ultrasound,” he said, showing her the results. “You’re almost in tip-top shape.”

  “Take it easy with this leg,” he said, offering her a helping hand out of the chair she had been sitting in. “Until you’ve gone through enough therapy sessions, and they clear you for more activities.”

  She eyed Liam when he said, “So, that means
no work, and only relaxing, correct?”

  He shrugged with a smile when he caught her glare. She was going to have a talk with him once they were out of earshot of witnesses. Scrunching her nose, she stuck her tongue out at him. Ignoring her, he grabbed the next available wheelchair from the hallway.

  The doctor guided her into the chair and handed her the stack of paperwork she needed to turn in at the front desk, on their way out. “Take it easy and I’ll see you back in a week, or so,” he said one last time, waving them off down the hallway.

  She skimmed through the papers while Liam pushed her. There were appointment reminders and papers with scribbly, almost too-sloppy-to-read notes on each page. She read one page that explained her physical therapy. She’d have sessions for the next few weeks—great.

  The receptionist at the front desk took the small stack of papers from Leah when they arrived. She looked them over and filed them in a cabinet next to the desk, and then scribbled a few things down on a memo pad that sat neatly on her clean and organized desk.

  Walking around the front of the counter, she handed Leah a few cards. Each card had an appointment reminder written down and a phone number to call if she wasn’t able to make it. “I’m sure the doctor told you all about this?”

  Leah nodded and said, “About fifty times.”

  The receptionist smiled and said, “Well then, I’ll let you be on your way. You take care and call with any questions.”

  The automatic doors opened and Liam guided the wheelchair through the main entrance. He had parked his truck closer to the door this time, in anticipation of her release.

  “Don’t think for one minute that I’m going to take it easy.”

  “Wait here,” Liam said, locking the wheelchair in place. He ran toward his truck.

  Pulling up close to the entrance of the hospital, Liam helped her into the truck. Only when Liam shut the door, did Leah see Jake standing there, looking at her from a distance, by his light blue Chevy truck. She tried to ignore him, not wanting to create a scene.

  “What the hell is he doing here?” Liam asked, throwing his arms up at Jake. “What the hell are you doing here?” he shouted across the way.

  She watched Jake walk up to Liam and before she knew it, they were face to face, shouting obscenities, and there she was—sitting helplessly. She swung her door open and unbuckled her belt.

  “Stay in the truck, Leah!” Liam hollered, not taking his eyes off Jake. “She doesn’t want you. What part of get lost don’t you understand?”

  The shove Jake gave Liam barely moved him. Liam stepped an inch closer to Jake and growled something Leah couldn’t hear over the rumble of the truck. Turning away, Jake flipped Liam off as he made his way back to the truck.

  “That guy’s up to no good,” Liam said, sliding into the driver’s seat. She barely had enough time to buckle her seatbelt before he shifted the truck into drive. “He just doesn’t take a hint.”

  “Just ignore him,” she said, knowing that’s the last thing Liam wanted to do.

  Liam drove out of the parking lot and headed toward the busy streets. “That’s easier said than done,” he said, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. “I don’t trust him.”

  “Let’s just forget about him, okay?” she asked, hoping Liam would relax a bit.

  When the rumble quieted as they approached downtown Rockford, she said, “As I was saying before we left the hospital, I’ve never been one to do nothing. I always have to do something.”

  Liam stared out the window. Only when she lightly tapped his arm and demanded that he listen to her, he focused on her. He stopped the truck at the next red light and turned to her. “You think I don’t know that?”

  His tone set her back and she shifted in her seat. She repositioned the seatbelt and turned to face him. “I have so much to do it’s not even funny.”

  “No one’s laughing.”

  “Liam, I’m being serious,” she pleaded. His tone had sent her for a loop, but she was back in control of the conversation and she was going to run with it. “I’m not sure if you have any idea what all I haven’t been able to do. My job isn’t easy and I have so much to get caught up on.”

  The truck crept forward, edging closer to the bumper of the car in front of them. He cursed the red light and released a cursed mumble or two. The light turned green, but it made no difference in the traffic—they were at a standstill.

  “Leah, I’m not going to argue with you,” he said, his tone not as harsh as it had been a moment ago.

  “I don’t want to argue,” Leah said. “I just want you to understand that I’m not going to sit around and do nothing.”

  She watched the color in his fingers fade to white as he gripped the steering wheel. He said nothing as they crawled at a snail’s pace on one of the busiest streets of the city.

  The silence was so deafening in the cab of his truck, her ears were ringing. “I’m not sure what to do.”

  “It hasn’t been easy for me either,” Liam said, his voice deep and agitated. “You think it’s been easy for me?”

  She leaned back against the door—almost in shock they were having this argument. She kept her mouth shut as he vented, knowing damned well his irritation stemmed from his encounter with Jake—it had nothing to do with her.

  “It hasn’t been a cake walk for me,” Liam admitted. “I’ve been right there beside you while you were in that damned place, and I’ve had many sleepless nights, not to mention the bar being closed for a majority of the past few weeks. So now, I have to really figure out how the hell I’m going to get that money back.”

  “You didn’t have to be there,” Leah said. As soon as she said it, she realized it was the wrong thing to say.

  He parked the truck in front of her apartment building and got out. He slammed the door and made his way around to her side. She had to admit he was way sexier when he was upset—not that she enjoyed seeing him like that.

  She unbuckled her seatbelt and he lifted her out of the truck. His strong arms felt tense against her. “You don’t have to carry me,” she said. “I can walk.”

  He didn’t listen. Instead, he carried her up to the front door, rambling most the way. “You’re right, I didn’t have to be there, but I was. I was there because I care about you. If you can’t see that by now, then I don’t know what the hell I’m doing even trying. It’s like you’re in denial that someone can actually care about you and love you.”

  The anger slowly dissipated as they approached her front door. Rachel had left the door unlocked when she had left for work—a good thing because at this rate, she was sure Liam would’ve kicked the door down.

  “Why can’t you see that?” Liam said, putting her on the couch, hovering over her as he waited for an answer. The smell of his cologne mixed with the scent of the farm was strong, but it was a scent she loved. “Is it too much to allow someone to care about you?”

  “No, it’s not,” she said, making her way to her room to pack her clothes. She wasn’t sure what the plan actually was. If she’d be working in Rockford or quitting by morning. She figured she’d take it one day at a time—they’d figure it out soon enough.

  Shoving as many things as she could into a bag, she startled when his arms lifted her. Wrapping her legs around him, she allowed him to carry her to the bed. Within minutes, they were nuzzling and wrestling around until they were making love. Clothes were thrown in haste as they stripped each other bare, without missing a beat. He was good, actually the best. Their love-making was passionate and full of emotion—it was everything she could ask for.

  He collapsed on top of her, passionately kissing her until she was ready for round two.

  * * *

  The truck crept along with the traffic on their way out of town. She had texted Rachel, asking her to call when she got home from work. She promised that they’d get together and talk about things. But for now, she told Rachel that she needed to go and clear her mind of all the troubles and worry.

&
nbsp; That’s exactly what Liam and she were going to do. At the last minute, Liam had pulled her up from the bed and told her to get ready. He had insisted on carrying her around the house, but she had told him to quit being silly—her leg would get used to walking again, but not if he carried her everywhere.

  They stopped at the last stop sign before heading straight out of the city onto the open highway. The air shifted different smells throughout the cab of the truck—summer-filled scents of freshly bloomed lilacs, along with the sight of full-leaved trees. The country roads had a lot more to offer than those of the city.

  “Where are we going when we get there?” she asked.

  The sun was setting, casting an even, soft, orange glow against the mountains and the trees in the distance. Memories of her childhood flooded her—warm sunsets and big bonfires at night on the farm—the days her parents were alive and everything seemed to be fine.

  She felt a tear slide down her cheek, and she tried to quickly swipe it away before Liam noticed, but he had already seen it. He didn’t say anything, instead, he focused on their destination.

  “Rosie heard today was the big day.” He raised his eyebrows and grinned. “I think she was more excited than we were when she heard you were coming home.”

  He talked as though she was already living with them in Cedar Valley—like it was nothing to refer to the farm as her home, too. She smiled at the warm thoughts his words had created. To be wanted and welcomed somewhere—she had craved this for a really long time. Finally, after all this time, instead of chasing after it, she was living it.

  “She wants to make it a surprise,” he continued. “I’m supposed to keep it a secret.”

  She smiled wider. “Well, then, I suppose you should stop talking and just drive.”

  She winked at him when he glanced over at her. The smile on his face told her he was playing along. She enjoyed the never-ending view of the mountains, with the sky of pastel pinks and purples blended with orange hues hovering beautifully across the open fields of freedom.