Location would only be a variable if I saw that a company needed heavy infrastructure. Then I’d have to consider the fact that they’d eventually have to move to San Francisco because that is where a lot of developers live. I have to consider geography when I look at U.S. companies trying to get into Europe, or vice versa, mostly because they each have an astounding lack of understanding for the foreign market they’re trying to penetrate.
For the most part, however, the horse and jockey is way more important than where the race is taking place.
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Will you ever play in syndicate platforms like CircleUp or AngelList in the future?
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I have an AngelList account. I respect that platform and it’s a great place. But I tend to lean toward doing far fewer deals that are far more meaningful. Though I don’t see it as a growing trend for me, I would encourage anyone who is reading this to check out those platforms. AngelList has a lot of cool stuff going on.
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What should companies expect from their investors at each stage of investment?
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Expectations are dangerous. Every start-up and investor relationship is different. Some investors are extremely hands-on, some are hands-off, and I’ve heard founders time and time again complain about both.
Ideally, founders and VCs should have a conversation about their expectations up front. That’s what I did as I started extending myself with VaynerRSE even as VaynerMedia continued its hypergrowth. My conversation with a lot of our investments was pretty consistent. I would say I could be the backbone, but my team was going to be way more hands-on than me. Ninety-five percent of people were fine with that. A small amount weren’t, and that was okay, too. My reputation and remaining a man of my word was more valuable to me than any deal. I passed on an investment that is now doing extremely well because I didn’t feel I was going to be able to deliver on the multiple hours a month that would be required for me to make the investment. It’s admittedly hard to watch it do so well, but I’m at peace with my decision because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to live up to the company’s ask. What’s important is that everyone lay out his or her variables and not overpromise.
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Should founders always be the ones that end up running their company when and if they reach a billion-dollar valuation?
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Absolutely not. As a matter of fact, I would argue that few founders should be running their companies at that size. It’s been very impressive from afar to watch Ben Silverman and Mark Zuckerberg run their companies from start-up to that billion-dollar valuation. It obviously can be done, but they are the outliers.
The skill sets required to take a company from zero to ten million, let alone zero to a billion, are very different from the skill sets needed to run a company once it has actually achieved that mega-dollar valuation. The founder of one of my most successful deals no longer runs the company, because he just wasn’t capable of operating it at its new, bigger scale and size. It really exploded when we put a more seasoned CEO in place. The company literally would have been out of business under the founder’s watch, and now it’s on its way to becoming a substantially large business with millions of dollars of value. I’m not even sure if I should run a company that big. I could probably run a $500 million company but once you get into the billions territory, you start getting into different kinds of dynamics. You have to know what you’re good at.
CHAPTER 17
SELF-AWARENESS
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IN THIS CHAPTER I TALK ABOUT REACHING HIGH WITHOUT DELUSION, THE BIGGEST DECISION I’VE EVER MADE, AND WHETHER IQ OR EQ IS MORE IMPORTANT FOR SUCCESS IN BUSINESS.
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This chapter means a lot to me because I think the topic of self-awareness doesn’t get enough attention. And yet, if there’s one thing that’s helped me win over the course of my career . . . well, I’ve said that about hustle and gratitude and all kinds of other traits discussed in this book, haven’t I? Whatever. This is another characteristic that has really worked for me. If I could sell a formula made up of gratitude, empathy, and self-awareness, it would be my billion-dollar coconut water idea.
My self-awareness is one of the reasons why I can comfortably say outlandish things and make hyperbolic statements. I know what people think of me, and I know that the same things that draw people to me turn others off and keep them away. I’m okay with that, because I think I can help more people and get my point across better when I’m my unfiltered self.
Knowing how you come across to others can often give you an advantage as an entrepreneur. Take sales, for example. You can set the tone in a scenario, anticipate how other people might react, and thus be prepared to address their concerns and questions even before they’ve been able to articulate them. It’s a really valuable tool to have in your communication tool belt, and it’s something I look for and admire in others.
Self-awareness is underestimated now, but I know someday when I’m in my fifties, sixties, or seventies, it will be the subject matter of the day. If there is a chapter in this book that you would read twice, I’d ask that this be it.
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What are some easy ways to become more self-aware?
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There’s one hack, and it’s asking people straight up to tell you your strengths and weaknesses. These people have to be the five to twelve people who know you the best or work with you the most. You have to create a safe zone within which they can do this, of course. No one is going to be honest with you if they think you’ll make them pay for it later or if they love you too much. You also have to be prepared for them to tell you things you may not want to hear or that you disagree with. That’s why you have to gather a diversity of opinion. If you hear enough people say the same thing, whether it’s that you’re too kind or too aggressive, you’ll eventually have to accept that it could be true. In fact, embrace the people who tell you you’re full of crap. Double down on those relationships, because they’re the ones that will help you improve the most.
Get yourself a thick skin. I hate reading bad stuff about me, but I can handle it. I respect it, accept it, understand it, and I try to learn from it. If you’re aggressive about getting the feedback, and man or woman enough to “eat it,” you can make changes in your interactions with people and your approach to business that can pay off in big ways.
* * *
What’s the most common mistake founders make when building a consumer-focused business?
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There are so many goddamn mistakes, but the biggest is when they delude themselves into thinking they are significantly more talented and special than they really are.
No one wakes up and says “I’m going to be an NBA player today,” but everyone today—the young and hungry, and the old and hungry—is deciding on a whim that they’re going to be a consumer product innovator, start-up founder, or cofounder of a consumer product company. The audacity is ludicrous and stunning to me. People underestimate how hard it is to build a consumer app and create something sticky that people care about. It takes a special talent, yet career students, corporate people, and bright-eyed hustlers think somehow they’re going to understand consumer behavior and scratch that itch for a consumer product better than anyone else. So the mistake? Not having the self-awareness to know they’re not good enough to do it.
That said, if you can afford the risk, I say go ahead and try, just as I would tell anyone to try out for the Los Angeles Lakers if they allowed it.
* * *
It’s good to understand our talents and weaknesses, but I fear we’ll get trapped into a mind-set of telling ourselves that there are things we can and can’t do. Poet Robert Browning said, “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp.” I want people to try lots and lots of things. I don’t want people to tell our children what they are and aren’t good at. How can you incorporate that idea into your discussion about self-awareness?
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The person who asked this question, speaker and social media strategist Ted Rubin, was absolutely correct: People should reach high. But nothing I see in the market today indicates to me that people have a problem holding themselves back from trying whatever idea pops into their heads. Ideally, of course, people would blend a healthy sense of confidence with self-awareness. But I think we live in a culture that encourages us to believe we can be good at everything we set out to do, especially in the U.S. market.
Modern parents are telling little Stevie, “You can do anything you want!” Except Stevie sucks at basketball. They do the same for kids who want to be singers or engineers—or entrepreneurs. You’re just not always going to be able to do everything you want. I think it’s a good thing to remind people to evaluate their strengths and their weaknesses because not enough people are acknowledging they may have the latter.
Since not many people are willing to have that conversation, I think it’s okay for me to push that message out a little harder than I might otherwise, and not hedge with Ted’s valid point. I do the same thing when I bash TV advertising. It’s not that I don’t believe it has a purpose or value, but I don’t need to advocate for it because 99 percent of the market already does, and it is grossly overpriced. TV doesn’t need me. Self-awareness does.
What people don’t realize is that the process of forcing yourself to be self-aware requires drinking a shitload of humble Kool-Aid. It’s insane how much humility has been instilled into me by the market and has balanced my ego and self-esteem. I get why people think I’m full of myself, but what they’re seeing is the postgame of a long period during which I learned to stay away from what I’m not good at so that I only talk about the things that I know I’m better at than most people. Everything should be in balance, so when the market is leaning so strongly in the direction of “Everything Is Awesome!” I think there is an opportunity to talk about how some people need to understand they suck.
Now, here’s the thing. If you do suck but you love the thing you suck at, do it! If you love singing more than breathing, go for that singing career. I would just like it if you could go for it with the full realization that you’re most likely going to wait tables for your entire life. You can’t be disappointed if you go in with your eyes wide open. I’m not immune to FOMO, but I knew that to do what I do I’d have to leave a lot of fun and leisure on the table. You always pay a price for doing what you love. That’s just life.
* * *
Do you have any tips for presenting your consulting services to a potential client? PowerPoint? Video?
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How should I know? Are you good at making a PowerPoint? Can you make a better video than anyone else? Or are you the kind of person who can just walk in and close the deal? Ask your business partners or employees, if you’re not self-aware enough to figure out for yourself what you’re good at.
This question is one I could never answer without knowing you well. What works for me doesn’t necessarily work for you. Look inside yourself (or get others to tell you what they see): The answer is predicated on your God-given ability or on the skill you’ve worked hardest to master. Many of you do so many things better than me it makes me want to vomit. There are sooooooooo many ways to present. Go with the one that lets you shine.
* * *
How does humor play a role in business, if at all?
* * *
It does, and it plays the same role it plays in all of life—by easing tensions, greasing wheels, making people feel good. Wouldn’t you rather do business with someone who makes you laugh than with a stick in the mud? A gift for humor happens to be one of the most attractive personal traits, and maybe one of the rarest. Remember the outpouring of grief over Robin Williams’s death? People who can use humor to show us the world in a way we’d never have noticed on our own are special. I use humor inspired by stand-up comedy in my keynotes because I think it helps people remember (and enjoy) my talks more. I also use it to drive difficult HR conversations, and leverage it when I’m selling to clients.
As attractive as a sense of humor is, though, it’s no more important than the other ones people are attracted to: caring, empathy, self-awareness, kindness, and beauty, among others. But if you know you’ve got it, use it.
* * *
What was the biggest decision in your life that made you successful today?
* * *
It was the day I made the choice to suck at school.
Fourth grade. Mr. Mulnar’s science class. I got an F on a science test. To make shit worse, I had to get it signed by my mom. To avoid being punished, I hid it under my bed, where it sat for two days until my conscience got the better of me and I showed it to my mother.
Until that moment, though, I was in hell. I distinctly remember sitting in my small bedroom, crying and trying to make sense of why I was having such an intense reaction to this test. And then it hit me, the thought that changed everything:
“Screw school. I’m a businessman.”
I made the conscious decision to eat the pain four times a year when report cards came, to eat the pain of failing pretty much daily. Who cared if everyone thought I was a “loser,” a kid without a shot? I knew better. I saw something different. Even at that young age, I was self-aware enough to realize what I was born to do.
It’s not that I didn’t care. I went to every class. I was respectful to my teachers. I just decided that I would be better off honing my skills and concentrating on what made me happy and what fulfilled me. I learned about selling baseball cards, which then became wine, which became WineLibrary.com and VaynerMedia and everything that makes me so immensely proud.
That moment marked the first time that I decided to fight what society expected of me and deliver on what made me happy.
And you should, too. Bottom line: Stop doing things that make you unhappy. I’ve been preaching this since my first book came out, and long before that. Sure, it sucked to get those report cards every quarter, but sometimes you have to take a thousand punches before anything good happens. Not everyone will understand what you’re doing, and the more you work, the more chances you have to be disappointed. Or even to be the disappointment. But don’t let those moments fool you. An instance of failure could be a huge opportunity.
Pay attention. Learn to be self-aware. One F on a test got me started. Countless bad report cards got me going. And if I could go back, I would fail every single test all over again.
* * *
What was the toughest thing you’ve ever had to do for your career?
* * *
Historically, my answer has always been that it was leaving the Wine Library and starting my venture in VaynerMedia, but that’s not the whole story.
Truthfully, the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do professionally was decide that I was okay putting myself out there.
Many people have forgotten that the first ten to fifteen headlines ever written about me in the media were essentially all “Wine Wiz Kid Builds Business.” All of a sudden, all these entities I’d always had huge respect for, like the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, were respecting me. It felt great.
But not long after that, I realized that there was a certain path I would need to take if I was going to get a bigger reach and gain a larger audience. And I was pretty sure there would be consequences. Sure enough, as soon as I started really letting people into my mind-set into business, not wine reviews, and communicated it in the way I do, people stopped talking about me as a great business operator—someone who made huge profits by realizing trends and executing on them—and instead described me as a “self-promoter,” a “social media guru,” and an “author.”
In the eyes of those entities and people I’d always admired, I’d taken a step back (or two or three). There was a lot of eye rolling from “the establishment” that looked down on me for my self-promotion, as though it somehow undermined the success I had created until that point. It wasn’t easy to know that my choices w
ould cause some people to dismiss me and everything I’d accomplished. In fact, it continues to be something I struggle with, because I really enjoy being respected, as does everyone, especially when you work so hard. On the other hand, in a weird way I like the fact that people’s prejudices against me cause them to underestimate me. In entrepreneurship, the truth is undefeated. Ultimately, if I execute multiple hundred-million-dollar businesses and make smart investments, it’s all “net-net.” You might not like that I don’t dress up, or that I curse onstage, or that I self-promote, but if I execute, you just have to “take it.”
Once I was able to accept the fact that I was going to enhance my accomplishments and live at ease by being me, at the expense of the establishment’s respect, I was able to carry on and create everything I have today.
* * *
How do I keep low self-confidence from keeping me from succeeding?
* * *
Self-esteem is the ultimate drug of our society. When you have it you give yourself the audacity to dream big, and when you do that, the little things stop mattering and anxiety cannot cripple you. I’m probably the least anxious person I know, even though you might think I should be, with all the responsibilities I carry on my shoulders. It’s just that I have such strong self-esteem. (Thank you, Mom, you are truly amazing.) I’m absolutely sure that I can handle whatever comes my way.
#AskGaryVee Page 26
