I wish I could give people who struggle with this issue a rah-rah “you can do it!” answer, because without self-esteem, I’m not sure they can. That said, if you are self-aware enough to know that you lack confidence, you could definitely execute to get more. You need to do research and think hard about what you can afford to do. A lot of people would probably benefit from seeing a therapist who could help them work through whatever is keeping their confidence down. At the very least, start working to surround yourself with confident, positive people. Be as determined to get that self-esteem as an addict jonesing for a hit.
* * *
A lot of small businesses fail because they refuse to accept when they’re not good at something and insist instead on doing it themselves. How would you suggest telling someone they need to stop?
* * *
It’s easy to know you need to outsource when you need A-level work and you’re an F. It’s a lot harder to see when you’re a B. Here’s the clue: If you try, try, and try but don’t get any better, hire someone who’s an A. There’s no point in wasting energy on that struggle when it could be better used to enhance things you’re already good at.
Now, let’s say you know someone who thinks he’s an A, or at least who thinks with enough practice he can become an A, but after a while it becomes clear that he clearly isn’t and won’t. Do you just let him flounder? I don’t think so. I say call him on it. I do this all the time. I’ll see a tweet and respond to tell the account holder how he or she could have done it better. I’m very polite and try to provide value.
* * *
Do you think it is necessary to have an outgoing personality to be a successful entrepreneur?
* * *
It’s never been less important.
Don’t believe me? Think about all the successful entrepreneurs whom people talk about every day. Zuckerberg. Evan Williams. Kevin Systrom. David Karp. If those names aren’t familiar to you, maybe you’ll recognize these: Facebook. Twitter. Tumblr. Pinterest. Instagram. Ringing some bells now? While I don’t know for sure they each identify as introverts, I do know they’re absolutely not the kind of people who outwardly self-promote by today’s Internet standards.
In the past, most of our connections were made through things like networking events or conferences. That setup made it absolutely necessary for young entrepreneurs to be outgoing and put themselves out there. And if they couldn’t, they often found it necessary to bring someone on board who could. But technology has changed the game, and now your first impression doesn’t have to be made face-to-face. You can shape your persona through your online interactions and presence. Meeting people in person is still important, but there are many other ways to build a company, talk to people, and make connections in the business world, all without leaving your desk. We are in the glory days of the introverted entrepreneur.
There is still plenty of room for the extroverted entrepreneur like myself, of course. And thank goodness for it, because I could never try to fake being someone I’m not. I’m very good at representing myself authentically online, but I know my strengths, and I know that I can get ten times more when I can meet people and bring my energy to the table face-to-face.
So introverted entrepreneurs, don’t fake it. Bet on your strengths. If you prefer to sit all day at your desk and focus, do that if it’s working for you. Never make the mistake of thinking that you need to be louder or more outgoing, or fake a bigger personality. This is a tremendous time for you to build a company. The ball is in your court, and social media and technology have put the whole game in your favor.
* * *
How do I overcome my people-pleasing nature?
* * *
Why would you want to?
Society has long taught us that wanting to please people is a flaw and that it makes us weak. But it’s not a weakness; it’s a strength. I should know, I’ve built my entire world on it.
What is wrong with wanting to give? Being positive? Making sure everyone around you is happy? It blows my mind that people would want to label these as weaknesses, especially when I have seen firsthand how much ROI these actions offer when you use them to build a business. The only time people pleasing is a weakness is when you don’t know how to ask for something in return or you only do it to ask for something in return.
You can give, give, give all you want, but if you never step up and ask for something back, you’re not going to win. When you give someone something they need, when you make someone’s dream a reality, in a sense they owe you. Their gratitude will make them very open to doing something for you when the time comes. But you have to ask. Nothing will ever happen if you don’t just step up and ask for what you want, whether it’s a sale, a connection, or a reference.
It’s a tremendous personality trait to want to make others happy. Just don’t forget to look out for yourself.
* * *
You get very personal when building your brand with the public. How personal is too personal? Where do you draw the line?
* * *
You draw the line where you feel you should. I like getting personal because I think it helps people feel closer to me, which helps me build my brand but also allows me to get to know my fans better. Getting personal is one of the reasons I love doing The #AskGaryVee Show so much. But I’ve got limits. I’m willing to put out a picture of me on the toilet, but I don’t share pictures or really any information about my children. Some people go nude; some won’t show their belly button. You’ve got to go with your gut. Also, remember that you’ve always got the right to change your mind. What might be too much last week might not be tomorrow, and vice versa.
* * *
What do you think is more important in business, IQ or EQ?
* * *
They’re both important, of course. I know my IQ is kind of average but that my EQ is off the charts, so that’s where I go all in. It’s been the foundation of my success and allows me to give back to my community, which gives me leverage. It allows me to form instant relationships, which is quite the advantage in my line of work.
I hear that a lot of people try to emulate me because my way looks fun and sizzly, but my way won’t work for you as well if you’re putting it on like a costume. You have to do you. There are plenty of people who love data, math, and tech and have happily made tons of money on their IQ. (I wish my math skills were as strong as AJ’s! They aren’t even close.)
Whether you’re all EQ, all IQ, or like the majority of people a nice mix of both, the important thing is to be aware enough of your composition to capitalize on your natural gifts.
CHAPTER 18
GARYVEE’S GUIDE TO PUBLIC SPEAKING WITHOUT SHITTING YOUR PANTS
* * *
IN THIS CHAPTER I TALK ABOUT PUNCHING PEOPLE IN THE MOUTH, HOW TO GET AWAY WITH F-BOMBS, AND STICKING TO WHAT YOU KNOW.
* * *
Fun fact: I did not give my first public speech until 2006, when I was thirty-one years old. It was at an Internet conference, and I really didn’t know what to expect. But the second I took that stage my world was never the same. Sometimes I wonder if my real talent is public speaking, not building businesses. I enjoy it almost as much. There may be no greater high for me than that second right before I walk out onstage; it feels like home. It’s no secret that I like to hear myself talk, and this gives me the perfect excuse, but I really do tremendously enjoy connecting with my audience. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to speak to so many people on a regular basis.
If you’ve done a good job of building your brand, there is a good chance someone will ask you for an interview, or to sit on a panel, and eventually, if you’re really good, to host a conference or deliver a keynote address. When this starts happening to you, you’ll know you’re on your way. It’s not only fun, it’s lucrative. I love it. I really freaking love it. I hope I can make you love it, too, if you’re like I was and unaware that it was even in your skill set.
Given how many times I’m asked to speak
per year, and the somewhat—how should I put it?—colorful way I tend to express myself, it’s no surprise I’ve gotten a number of questions about public speaking on the show. I hope these answers will help you prepare for your moment in the spotlight.
* * *
How do you prepare for an important keynote?
* * *
I know some people are absolutely terrified by the idea of speaking in public. If that’s you, and you’re growing a business, I hope you’ll get some help from a counselor or coach. Some people even attend acting, improv, or comedy classes. Finding a way to free yourself from your fear of public speaking is an extremely worthwhile investment, because if you succeed, it sets the potential for an enormous boon to your brand and business.
The benefit of doing keynotes or talks is tremendous. You can reach new audiences you might not have encountered. Build your credibility. Take time to articulate your ideas in a longer format. And public speaking opportunities often give you the chance to meet other influencers and cool people, as well as learn a bit more about yourself by seeing how you communicate differently in various settings. Take the first opportunity you can get. It’s a great experience.
Some people have to write out a script and memorize it word for word before they’ll feel comfortable up on the stage or at the podium. Some people practice with their friends. Others prefer to improvise. Me? Well, my preparation is a little unconventional. It works for me, but I’m not sure it would work for everyone. Whatever. You asked.
Eight minutes before I take the stage, I’m doing my everyday stuff. I’m checking email. I’m joking with a friend. You’d never know I’m about to give a talk. I find that continuing my routine activities helps keep me calm.
Six minutes before showtime, I get into a weird place. I become extremely focused, like a boxer about to hit the ring. But I don’t review any notes. I don’t frantically start rattling through the speech to make sure I know it by heart. Those last-minute tendencies people have to want to fix something or change something can be really destructive. The day you find yourself in this moment, have confidence in yourself and go with your plan. You’ve worked hard for this. You’re ready.
Then, right before I go out onstage, I think about punching every audience member directly in the mouth.
Seriously.
Though not literally, of course. I don’t want to inflict harm on anyone. But when I’m onstage, I’m hyperfocused on bringing my audience value and so I’m in a sort of aggressive attack mode. I know it sounds strange, but I feel a weird mix of love and aggression for the people in the seats, because on one hand I’m so grateful for their presence and their support and interest, yet I’m also determined to send them away with a powerful message ringing in their ears. I’m like a boxer in a crazy zone before the fight.
Except unlike a boxer, I can’t physically grab people’s attention. I have to demand their attention with my voice, and convey my story in a way that keeps them rapt. Here is where showing your emotion is a good thing. Go ahead and get excited, or pissed, or frustrated. Show the audience how you feel about your topic. People respond to honesty and emotion. You’ll look strong and convincing. Most important, you’ll be almost impossible to forget.
So that’s how to prepare for an important talk. Trust me, the first one is the easiest one you’ll ever do. Know why? Because you’re only as good as your last talk. You’ve got nowhere to go but up. The second you take that stage, you’re wiping the slate clean and reaffixing your brand in people’s hearts and minds. Treat each event as your last at bat, and make it an amazing one.
* * *
How do you get away with so many f-bombs onstage?
* * *
I think the answer is twofold. First, I mean it. I’m not just throwing curse words out there to shock you, I’m really feeling each and every one. It’s not a tactic, I’m just in the zone when I’m up on the stage. As I mentioned earlier, as a kid I idolized Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Eddie Murphy, and their influence translated directly into the way I deliver keynotes. But although there is a little bit of a stand-up quality to my speeches, I’m not acting up there. That Jersey boy is all me, and I think even when they’re a bit taken aback by my penchant for profanity, most people in my audience respect my authenticity.
Second, I get away with dropping f-bombs because I just don’t fucking care if I catch flak for it. In fact, I use the f-bomb all the time to vet people with whom I do business. How you react to me tells me a whole lot about you. If you’re operating at such a micro level you can’t get beyond my language to hear the bigger message I’m trying to communicate to you, you’re just not someone I want to do business with or take on as a client. You’re never judging me half as much as I’m judging you.
* * *
As a speaker, you rarely use filler words and you hardly ever lose your train of thought onstage, or in front of the camera. Can you provide insight into how you’ve nurtured your public speaking chops?
* * *
I’ve had a lot of practice since the first time I hit the stage in 2006, and here is the biggest secret I have learned for a flawless presentation: Talk about what you know. Don’t let people suck you into a debate about a topic in which you’re neither interested nor well versed. For example, I try not to answer questions about foreign policy or currency like Bitcoin. The only reason my opinion matters about anything is that I am a practitioner and have grounded my execution in strong research and experience. I’m not providing value if I start spouting opinions based on nothing more than a few clickbait headlines. I stay in my lanes of expertise where I spend my time honing my craft. If you’re comfortable with your subject matter and speaking from the heart and from experience, you’ll always sound like a pro.
CHAPTER 19
MUSIC
* * *
IN THIS CHAPTER I TALK ABOUT THE NUMA NUMA SONG, NEW REVENUE STREAMS, AND MAKING YOUR FANS FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.
* * *
I would have lost an enormous amount of money if a year ago you had told me that I was going to write a book called #AskGaryVee, and one of the chapters was going to be about music. I would have made a bet against that for money that matters. Yet as Stephanie Land, my writer, and the rest of the team and I worked to pull together the material for the book, we discovered that I had answered a number of questions about music. Who knew?
Most people who care about the art form do not respect my relationship with music. I have no musical talent and my contemporaries often disrespect my taste. One of my favorite things to do is put a favorite song on continuous loop and listen to it for five to seven hours. I once listened to Bone Thugs-n-Harmony’s song “1st of tha Month” through the entire train trip from Boston to New York—and I didn’t take the Acela. While making the final edits of this book I listened to Drake’s “Back to Back” on loop. But you’ll also find Lionel Richie and Cyndi Lauper jams on my iPad.
This is fun for me. I don’t have amazing passion for the indie or the hip-hop scene, but I am excited to see how many musicians have real talent mixed in with entrepreneurial DNA, and I’m passionate about seeing how the changing marketing and communications landscape has provided opportunity for them.
Think about it. Would anyone have ever heard of “Dragostea din tei” if it weren’t for Gary Brolsma? You’re probably thinking you still haven’t heard of it, but you have. It’s more commonly known in this country as the Numa Numa song, and Gary Brolsma is the guy who uploaded a home video of himself lip-syncing to it onto the Internet back in 2004. The song went on to become an internationally bestselling single, and while the band who wrote it, O-Zone, split up, Gary Brolsma endures and, according to his website, continues to make music and videos. Carly Rae Jepsen, whose new pop album is being called one of the best of the decade, had been writing and recording songs in Canada for several years before Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez first tweeted about her catchy song “Call Me Maybe” and created the famously goofy YouTube dance video to go a
long with it that turned her into an international star. So you know how I’m always saying that you don’t want to obsess about how many followers and fans you have, but rather about who your followers and fans are, and that the quality of your content and engagement with them is everything it should be? That’s why.
It used to be that in order to get any attention you had to make a thousand demos and pray that some music producer would bother to listen and sign you up for a record deal, after which you were at the mercy of the label. But now aspiring musicians have far greater control over their careers, and many more avenues they can take to get their music heard. They don’t have to please record labels anymore. They just have to please their fans.
Do you have any idea how many bands and artists have been able to break out and become profitable because they knew how to use social media like Vine and YouTube to reach their audiences? These are the same bands that would never have been able to get so much as a meeting with a major label fifteen years ago. For sure there are fewer artists who go platinum, but the long tail has gotten even longer and allows a greater number of performers to make money.
#AskGaryVee Page 27
