Engaged to the Single Mom

by Lee Tobin McClain

  She turned before he could answer and marched down toward the playing field. Her back was straight, shoulders squared.

  He stared after her, then squeezed his eyes shut and looked away. His heart rebelled against the sudden change he was asking of it: stop loving her, start hating her. Stop believing in her, realize that she’d been lying this whole time.

  She had been lying, right? Because she’d said she hadn’t known her assailant, but when he’d confronted her with Jeremy’s name, she’d tacitly acknowledged him as Xavier’s father.

  But why would she have lied about it being Jeremy?

  The answer had to be that she’d gone with him willingly. Just as Jeremy’s brother had said.

  Sliding out of the truck, he landed painfully on his bad leg, and the metal cane the doctor had lent him—the old man’s cane with four little feet on the end—crashed to the ground.

  A teenage girl on a skateboard swooped down, picked it up, then skidded in a circle to hand it back to him.

  He wasn’t even man enough to pick up his wretched cane for himself.

  Angelica came back, pulling an obviously reluctant and angry Xavier by the hand. “Mom!” he was whining, almost crying. “I don’t want to go.”

  “Get in the truck,” she ordered.

  “But—”

  “Now.” Her voice was harsh.

  Tears spilled from Xavier’s eyes, and his lower lip pouted out, but he climbed into the truck.

  “Mr. Troy!” Xavier said as soon as they were all in. “Mama says we have to move away. But that’s not true, is it?”

  Troy looked over at Angelica and saw a muscle twitch in her cheek. Her jaw was set and obviously she wasn’t about to answer.

  Troy was already regretting his hasty order that they leave. He turned back to Xavier, looked at his hopeful face.

  Looked into Jeremy’s eyes. How had he not noticed that before? “I’m sorry, but yes. You do have to leave.”

  “Why?” Xavier’s face screwed up. “I love it here. I hate moving.”

  Troy looked over at Angelica and saw a single tear trickle down her cheek.

  Well, sure, she was upset. Her game was up.

  “Mom, you promised we wouldn’t have to move again!”

  Angelica cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, honey. I made a promise I couldn’t keep.”

  “Seems you make a habit of that,” Troy muttered.

  Angelica’s body gave the slightest little jerk, as if she’d been hit.

  The truth hurt. He tried to work up some more righteous anger about that, but he was finding it hard to do.

  What she’d done was wrong, but it had happened a long time ago.

  But she’s been lying to you just in the past few weeks.

  But she’d seemed to genuinely care about him. Hadn’t she? “Look,” he said, “maybe I’ve overreacted. I...I need to take a breath, think about this. I don’t want to throw the two of you out on the street...”

  “We’ve been there before.” She spun the truck around a corner too fast, making the tires squeal. “We’ll manage.”

  “I don’t want you to just manage. I need to pray about this, get right with God, figure things out. I was blindsided, but we all make mistakes. I...maybe I can work through it and learn to forgive you.”

  “Don’t strain yourself.” She pulled the truck into the long driveway and squealed to a jerky stop in front of his house. “Here you go.”

  There were a couple of unfamiliar cars parked in front of the house, and he couldn’t deal with strangers. Didn’t want to talk to anyone but Angelica. “I...Look. Let’s talk before you go.”

  “I think you’ve said all you need to say. I know what you think about me. I know how much respect you have for me. All I want now is to pack my things and be gone.”

  “Mom! You should listen to Mr. Troy! Maybe we won’t have to leave.”

  “Are you getting out?” she asked him through clenched teeth.

  “No. Angelica—”

  She pulled out fast enough to make the wheels spit gravel, drove past the kennels and down to the bunkhouse. She skidded to a halt and slammed the truck into park. “C’mom, Xavier. Out.” As soon as the sobbing boy had obeyed, she faced Troy. “By tonight, we’ll be gone.” She slammed the truck’s door and walked into the bunkhouse, back stiff, one arm around Xavier.

  Troy sat in the truck, his legs and arms too heavy to move. He stared out at the cornfields and wondered what he could do now.

  His life had been snatched out from under him. Instead of being active, doing everything himself, he’d need help. With the kennels. With his practice. Even with driving, for pity’s sake. Instead of getting married to the woman he loved, instead of becoming dad to the child he’d come to care deeply for, he’d be alone.

  Alone, with a big empty space in his heart.

  He knew he shouldn’t be sitting here feeling sorry for himself, but he couldn’t seem to make himself move. He didn’t know what to do next.

  Well, he did know: he should pray, put it in God’s hands.

  He let his face fall forward into his hands. God... He didn’t know how to ask or what to say. Even looking at the bunkhouse and knowing that Xavier and Angelica were inside packing made his throat tighten up and his heart ache.

  Help, he prayed.

  The word echoed in his mind, as if God was saying it back to him.

  There was nothing to do but try to help them. He’d help them load their stuff into the truck, as much as a crippled guy could. Find someone to drive them to the station. He’d pay for tickets wherever they wanted to go.

  Where would they go, though?

  And what about follow-ups to Xavier’s treatments? What would Angelica do for a job? She’d worried that this would happen, that the “us” wouldn’t work out and that she’d be alone, unable to afford the rest of the cost of treatment. He’d waved her concern aside.

  Had she suspected he’d find out the truth about her?

  What was the truth about her? He pounded the seat beside him. Why had she cheated on him? Why had she given herself to Jeremy?

  “Mr. Troy! Mr. Troy! Come in here!”

  At first he thought he was imagining the sound, but no; it was Xavier pounding on the truck’s door. He lowered the window and looked out. “You okay, kiddo?”

  “I am, but Lily’s not! She’s having her puppies! And Mom says she’s in trouble!”

  Troy grabbed the bag he always kept in the backseat and swung out of the vehicle.

  “Come on! Mom said you wouldn’t still be here, but I knew you would!”

  They hurried into the bunkhouse together and there in a dark corner of the living room was Angelica, leaning over Lily.

  Her dark hair was pulled back with a rubber band and she was doing something with a towel.

  “What’s going on?”

  “She’s having trouble with this last one.” The anger was gone from her voice, replaced by worry. “She can’t get it out. I’ve been trying to help her, but I’m afraid of hurting the puppy.”

  “Let me see.” He squatted down and saw the puppy’s hindquarters protruding from Lily, who was whimpering and bending, trying to lick at the new puppy while three other pups pushed at her teats.

  “Get a couple towels,” he told Xavier, and to Angelica, “Get the surgical scissors out of my bag while I try to ease the pup out.”

  It took several minutes, and when the puppy was finally born he saw why: it was half again as big as the other puppies. Lily sank back, too exhausted for the usual maternal duties, so Troy carefully removed the sac and cut the cord and rubbed the puppy vigorously in a clean towel until he was sure it was breathing on its own.

  “Poor thing,” Angelica cooed, stroking Lily’s ears and head. “You did a g
ood job.”

  The pup was breathing well, so Troy tucked it against Lily’s tummy, where it rooted blindly until it found a teat to latch on to.

  Lily lifted her head feebly and licked the new puppy a couple of times, then dropped her head back to the floor.

  “You can rest now,” Angelica said to the tired dog. “We’ll help you.”

  A small hand tugged at his shoulder as Xavier peered past him to look at Lily. “Is she gonna die? Why’s she bleeding?”

  He’d half forgotten that Xavier was there. “She’s doing great. There’s always a little blood when a dog gives birth, but she should be just fine.”

  “The puppies look...yucky.”

  Troy glanced over at Angelica, not sure how much detail she wanted her son to know. She shrugged, so he gave Xavier a barebones account of placentas and amniotic fluid and umbilical cords.

  Fortunately the boy took it in stride. “Is she gonna have more?”

  “I feel one more little bump, so she’ll probably have one more.” He smiled at Xavier. “It’ll be okay. Just takes a while.”

  “Can I watch?”

  Troy looked over at Angelica, eyebrows raised.

  “Sure, I guess.” She stood up, stretched with her hands on her lower back, then walked over to the small bookcase. And started putting books in boxes.

  Troy’s heart dove down to his boots. For a minute there, he’d forgotten their conflict, forgotten that he’d kicked her out, forgotten they weren’t a couple anymore. He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again.

  Should he take back his request that she leave? Beg her to stay? If she stayed, what would they do? Because the fact remained, she’d betrayed him.

  Lily whimpered, and he looked down at her and petted and soothed her.

  And then it hit him. Again. His revelation about how Angelica had cringed and held back from the physical.

  If she’d consented to the relationship with Jeremy, then why did she act like an abused animal when a man tried to touch her?

  Her phone buzzed just then, and he watched her as she answered it, wondering what to believe. Saw her frown and look despairingly at the half-filled box of books. “Are you sure you can’t manage it? I’m kind of busy here.”

  She listened again.

  “Okay. No, of course I can help.” She clicked off the phone and sighed. “Lou Ann needs me to help her with something up at the house. Says she needs a woman, that you won’t do. Can you...”

  “I’ll stay with Lily. And Xavier can stay with me.” He felt so good being able to do something for her. Lord help him, he wanted to take care of her. Still.

  “All right. I’ll be as quick as possible. I still want to get going by nightfall.”

  “Angelica—”

  “No time to talk.” And she was out the door.

  * * *

  Angelica stalked into the house with her fists clenched and teeth gritted tight against the tears that wanted to pour out of her. “Lou Ann!” she called past the lump in her throat.

  “Out here,” came a voice from the backyard.

  She walked through the kitchen, trying not to look at the table where she and Xavier had shared so many meals with Troy. The counter where they’d leaned together, talking. The window through which she’d watched him playing ball with her son.

  The whole place was soaked in memories, and if she and Xavier weren’t going to have Troy, if this wasn’t going to work, then it was best for them to get out of here now.

  She walked through the back door.

  “Surprise!”

  The sounds of female laughter, the pretty white tablecloth over a round table decorated with flowers, the banner congratulating her and Troy...all of it was totally overwhelming.

  She looked around at Lou Ann; Daisy; Xavier’s teacher, Susan Hayashi; Miss Minnie Falcon from the Senior Towers; and her two best friends from Boston, Imani and Ruth. She burst into tears.

  Immediately the women surrounded her. “It’s a surprise shower!”

  “We’re so happy for you!”

  “Aw, she’s so emotional!”

  “Wait a minute.” Lou Ann broke through the squealing circle of women to step right in front of Angelica and look at her face. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

  Something in her voice made the rest of the women quiet down. Angelica looked into Lou Ann’s calm brown eyes and bit her lip. “It’s not going to work. Xavier and I are leaving.”

  “What?” The older woman looked shocked, and around her, gasps and words of dismay echoed in Angelica’s ears.

  “Come on, sit down and tell us about it,” her friend Imani said.

  “I think I’ll head over to see Troy.” The deep voice belonged to Dion, and he waved a hand and headed for the front of the house.

  “Go on, we’ll catch up with you later,” Lou Ann said. “He was helping us set up the canopy,” she explained to Angelica.

  “What did you mean, you’re leaving?” Daisy asked.

  So, haltingly, hesitatingly, Angelica explained what had driven her and Troy apart. What was the point in hiding it all now? And they’d be gone, so if any gossip came from this good group of women—which she doubted—it wouldn’t hurt Xavier.

  “But God’s good,” she finished, choking out the words. “It looks like Xavier’s going to get well.”

  Hugs and tears and murmurs of support surrounded her.

  “Men can be such idiots.” Daisy pulled her chair closer to Angelica and squeezed her hand. “My brother most of all.”

  “That jerk Jeremy most of all,” her friend Ruth said.

  “So I don’t need to marry Troy anymore, to help Xavier,” Angelica explained, her voice still scratchy. “I mean, of course, he still wants a dad. But he’s got time now, and he’s got his health. And I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.”

  “But what do you want?” Imani took her hand. “If Xavier weren’t in the equation, would you love Troy? Do you want to be married to him?”

  Angelica shut her eyes, and a slide show of memories played through her head.

  The first time he’d asked her out, when she’d thought he must be joking, that no one as handsome and rich and popular as Troy could possibly want someone like her.

  Riding horses together. Going to her first superfancy restaurant. Looking up to see his marriage proposal in skywriting, in front of the whole town.

  Back then, she’d been in love in a naive way. Impressed with him, infatuated with him. And down on herself, seeing no alternatives.

  Now things were different. She’d gotten through the past six years by relying on God’s strength. With His help, she’d mothered Xavier through the worst moments a child could have and come out stronger. She’d built friendships like those with Ruth and Imani, who’d come all the way from Boston to celebrate a milestone. Now she could add Daisy and Lou Ann to that circle of lifetime friends.

  Now she didn’t need Troy. But the thought of life without him was colorless, plain, lonely.

  Now her images of him were different. She thought of him not only helping her get rid of a drunken Buck but also giving her cola and comfort and a shoulder to cry on afterward. She thought of him bent over Bull in the road, caring for the wounded animal and still remembering her son’s feelings. Thought of him admitting he’d been wrong to accuse her of still dating Buck, apologizing, going on to find Dr. Ravi for Xavier.

  “If he could accept my past without thinking less of me, then yeah.” She looked around at the circle of concerned, supportive faces. “Yeah. I still love him.”

  “All right,” Lou Ann said. “Then we’ve got to find a way to make this right.”

  * * *

  A sharp rap on the door made Troy’s heart thump in double time: Angelica. Maybe she’d deci
ded not to go. Maybe she wanted to talk to him.

  He didn’t know why he was so eager for that when she’d betrayed him with Jeremy. If she’d betrayed him. Because now that his initial anger was fading, he was having a hard time believing that of her.

  “I know you’re in there, my man,” came Dion’s deep voice.

  “Come on in.” Although he was glad to see his friend, needed a friend, Troy couldn’t hide his disappointment.

  Dion walked in looking anything but friendly. “Angelica’s a mess. What did you do to her?”

  Troy gave a tiny headshake, nodding toward Xavier. “We’re watching Lily. She just had her last pup, and we’re making sure she’s okay.”

  “I’m helping,” Xavier chimed in, bumping his shoulder against Troy. “Right, Mr. Troy?”

  “Yep.” Troy could barely choke out the word. How was he going to let this kid go?

  Dion narrowed his eyes at Troy and flipped on the television to an old Western, complete with flaming arrows, bareback-riding Navajos and gun-toting cowboys. “Take a look, Xavier. You ever seen a cowboy show before?”

  “Angelica wouldn’t let...” Troy broke off. A little old-fashioned violence wouldn’t hurt the kid. Xavier was immediately engrossed, leaving Dion and Troy free to move to an out-of-earshot spot at the kitchen table.

  “What happened?” Dion glared at him.

  Troy sighed, laced his hands together. “I found out who Xavier’s dad is.”

  Dion looked at him expectantly.

  “Jeremy Filmore.”

  Dion reared back and stared. “No kidding?”

  Troy nodded. “No wonder she didn’t want me to know, right? She could hardly claim assault with Jeremy.” As he spoke, his anger came bubbling back.

  “What do you mean? Does she say he attacked her?”

  Troy nodded impatiently. “That’s what she says, but I knew Jeremy. He wouldn’t have done that.”

  Dion drummed his fingers on the table, frowning. “You sure about that, man?”

  “You’re not?”

  “He had a pretty bad drinking problem.” Dion studied the ceiling. “And he wasn’t above clashing with the law. I broke up a few bar fights he started.”