Unsteady (The Torqued Trilogy Book 1)

by Shey Stahl

  “You wouldn’t either if Red and Rawley were your brothers.”

  She has a point there.

  And she was right. For the next three fucking hours after Tyler got home, they went at it and I heard things like, “Fuck me harder! Just like that, ahhh, yes! More!” and then, “You like my cock, don’t you? Nobody fucks you as good as I do. Remember that, baby. Your pussy has my name on it!”

  Really, it was all just too much. Those are things I never wanted to hear from Tyler or Raven, and now they’re burned into my head forever. I might never be able to look at either one of them without laughing now.

  And also, if I’m being honest, I’m a bit jealous.

  I stop by my mom’s house, my head still pounding from last night at the bar. As soon as I pull into the driveway, I see Lenny’s truck parked there.

  Damn it, why is she here? I thought I would have had a little time to get my head straight before work tomorrow. I’m half tempted to text my mom to have her send Nova out, but then she’d kick my ass if I did that. And then I remember we’re going to dinner tonight so that won’t work either.

  Just pretend you’re in a hurry.

  Sighing, I think about the way she watched me last night at the bar and the way she looked in those jeans. I don’t know how many times I had to stop myself from grabbing her last night, dragging her to the bathroom and fucking her right out of them.

  Classy, Red. Fuck her in the bathroom of a dingy bar.

  What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I stop thinking about her this way? I’ve been doing fine for two goddamn years, and now her. There’s plenty of hot women around town. Why am I suddenly having this reaction to her?

  I’m not even sure I had this physical obsession with Nevaeh. Before her, girls were more of a want than a necessity. This girl… it’s like she’s a necessity. A need I can’t seem to stop.

  She’s off limits.

  With a heavy sigh, I open the door and walk up to the house. As soon as I open the door, Nova lunges herself in my arms. “Daddy! I missed you so much last night!”

  Instinctively, I pull her close. Now that I’m with her so much, it’s hard leaving her with other people, even if it is my mom. I always miss her come morning. “I missed you, too, Darlin’.”

  Immediately, I see those fucking legs and shorts. It’s like my eyes seek the temptation out. She’s handing Raven her clothes and then turns around.

  Internally, I groan. “What are you doing here?” I’m not trying to be a dick, but as always, it comes off that way.

  Raven speaks up before Lenny can reply. “She’s here to drop off my stuff and what the hell is it any business of yours what she’s doing here?”

  I stare at Lenny, my eyes intent on hers. She can’t take me looking at her. Every time I do, she flushes and turns away.

  Nova takes my hand and swings it back and forth. “I helped Auntie give Lenny a makeover. Did you see how pretty she looked?”

  I nod, refusing to say just how fucking pretty she looked. Believe me, the image of her dancing is one I can’t seem to forget.

  “Guess what, Daddy?” Nova yanks my arm down making me look at her.

  “What?”

  “Lenny thinks you’re handsome!”

  Lenny, who’d just taken a drink of her iced tea Mom handed her, spits it all over the front of Raven.

  Raven’s laughing so hard, she doesn’t even care that she’s now covered in tea. Pulling at her shirt, she shakes her head and moves past Lenny down the hall to change. “Nova, you’re awesome.”

  You know, I have to say I’m completely entertained by this myself.

  “Nova,” Lenny gasps. “I didn’t say that.”

  “Yes, you did.” Nova glances up, her brow creased in confusion. “I asked you if you thought my daddy was handsome. You said yes.”

  I roll that information around, and I want to say something, but I don’t in front of my kid.

  Lenny flushes an even brighter shade of red. “Well, yeah… I guess I did say that but then….” She pauses and draws in a shaky breath. “Crap. I need to go. It’s late.”

  It’s not. It’s only four in the afternoon. Clearly, she’s freaking out, but hell, if she thinks I’m handsome, I wonder what she’d think if she knew the attraction I had for her.

  Nova runs over to her before she gets to the door. “No, please don’t go. You should come to dinner with us. Grandma is going too. It’ll be fun. We’re going to Daddy’s favorite restaurant, Valentino’s, because Daddy loves spaghetti. I don’t like it that much, but the breadsticks are really good.”

  Lenny blinks a few times, her eyes wide like she doesn’t know what to make of that. I can also see sadness in her eyes, and I don’t like it. “Well, I wouldn’t want to intrude on your family.”

  Mom walks into the room with her purse and overhears Lenny saying that. “Nonsense, the more the merrier. Right, Red?”

  No!

  Everyone turns to me as I glare at my mother in disbelief. She glares right back. “Yeah. Sure. The more the merrier.”

  Nova jumps up into my arms again and throws her arms around my neck. “Thanks, Daddy.”

  I tap the freckled bridge of her nose. “Anything for you, darlin’.”

  She wiggles back out of my arms, grabs Lenny’s hand and drags her to the car. “You can sit by me at the restaurant.”

  Fine by me. I’ll be the one in the corner with a napkin protecting my pants with the raging hard-on all night. I know this for sure because the moment I see those legs walking down the driveway in front of me, my dick twitches to life.

  “I’ll drive myself,” Lenny says, attempting to let go of Nova’s hand.

  Nova pouts. “No, you can’t. I wanted to sit next to you in the car.”

  No one can ignore Nova and her pouting. Believe me, I try, and I still haven’t mastered the “no” word with her.

  “Okay,” Lenny finally agrees, sighing, as if she needs to prepare herself to get inside of my car. Mom flips the seat forward for her, offers to sit in the back with Nova, but that doesn’t last long before Nova breaks down in tears.

  “No, I want her to sit next to me.” She’s in her seat now, big tears rolling down her cheeks and Lenny is a sucker.

  “I’ll sit by you.”

  My biggest problem is when I catch sight of her perfectly round ass cheeks peeking out of her shorts. I’m staring. Blatantly fucking staring.

  What the shit? Why can’t I stop myself?

  Mom notices and elbows me. “Red,” she whispers, smiling. “Don’t stare.”

  Rock meet bottom. My mother fucking caught me.

  Like a child told to stay out of the cookie jar, my eyes drift back tempting myself. Fuck me. I want Lenny.

  And there’s the hard-on.

  When I hunch forward awkwardly, Nova notices. “What’s wrong, Daddy?”

  I reach to start the car. “Nothing.”

  Just as we’re pulling out of the driveway, Nova starts in with her questions. I don’t think Lenny knew what she was getting into by agreeing to this. “Did you know that Daddy’s car and me have the same name?”

  “Nova, let up a little,” I warn, eyeing my overly talkative daughter.

  She doesn’t even look at me and says, “I was made in here. That’s how I got my name.”

  I gasp. “Who told you that?”

  Nova shrugs. “Uncle Colt.”

  I’m gonna fucking punch him tomorrow.

  Lenny and mom both start laughing as I toss a dirty look at Nova again and grip the steering wheel a little tighter.

  “Do you go to school?” Lenny asks Nova.

  “No. Daddy forces me to go to Elle’s house, but I start kindergarten soon. I’m five now.” She groans, putting her hands on her face and shaking her head dramatically. “It’s a big waste of my time because everyone there is a dumbass.”

  “Nova,” I warn. “Watch your mouth.”

  “Daddy, on Friday, Kale ate paste for lunch.”

  Wel
l, she has a point.

  WHEN WE'RE AT the restaurant, I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I know this is going to be bad taking her here. I’ve never brought anyone here but family, and it feels wrong. Feels like I’m cheating on my wife.

  Valentino’s is a small family-owned Italian restaurant that’s the heart of Lebanon and has the best spaghetti around, aside for Nevaeh’s recipe. The building is small, basically an old house converted into a restaurant back in the early 90s when they moved from Italy. Literally couldn’t get more Italian than the Valentino family, which was why they were the best in town.

  Most of the time just to get in here, you needed reservations months in advance; only we never did because we were family.

  I stand back as we step inside, and Lenny and my mom follow Nova in. She spots him right away and runs directly to him. “Papa!

  Tony picks Nova up in his burly arms and spins her around. “Ah, there’s my grandbaby.” It hurts watching him hold her like that, mostly because you can see it on his face. He’s reminded of his daughter at that age.

  Mom must sense it and looks back at me. This is why I didn’t want Lenny coming here. It’s hard enough being in this restaurant let alone seeing Tony, my wife’s dad.

  “That’s Tony, the owner,” Mom tells Lenny. “This is Nevaeh’s dad’s restaurant.”

  I stay back, lingering near the door and half tempted to excuse myself and sit in the damn car. I have these empty spaces in my heart, and places like this are empty reminders of what I once had. Empty memories, empty experiences for Nova. There is and always will be a void space in every life my wife touched, and time doesn’t make that go away.

  Here, I’m reminded of it, more than anywhere else I shared with her. I can’t explain why, but it is. And now here I am, with another girl I can’t stop thinking about sexually, with a knot the size of a bolder in my chest. It pisses me off more than anything.

  With Nova on his hip, Tony approaches us. “Well, look who finally came by.” He reaches for my hand. “Good to see you, son.” And then his gaze shifts to Lenny, probably wondering who she is.

  I step forward. “Tony, this is Lenny. She works for Walker Automotive now.” My fucking words shake like I’m a scared teenage boy asking his daughter out. “Nova wanted her to come.”

  And I sound like an asshole. At least I’m keeping up with my persona.

  Mom glares at me smacking my shoulder. “Knock it off,” she mouths back.

  Burying my hands in my pockets, I drop my head forward as Tony shows us to a table. The restaurant is fairly busy, but Tony always keeps our table free, back in the corner near the kitchen.

  Nova makes Lenny sit next to her like they’re best friends all of a sudden. It’s not lost on me that I really need to get this kid a friend her own age.

  Not that he needs to, but Tony brings out menus and hands Nova a stack of white paper and crayons. “I need some more artwork for the wall, honey.”

  Lenny’s eyes drift over my shoulder to the wall where Tony kept the drawings of all the kids that came here. Along the top are framed ones.

  Her smile falters and I know why. There’s a picture of Nevaeh, me and Nova up there. It’s one of me holding a baby Nova in one arm, the other wrapped around Nevaeh’s shoulders smiling at the camera while my wife is looking at Nova and me like we’re her favorite people in the world.

  Lenny’s eyes snap to mine, and I hate the empty sadness. Empty. There’s that word again.

  Clearing my throat, I look to Tony when he hands me a menu. “Why are you handing me that? I’ll have my usual.”

  I don’t know what makes Lenny laugh right then, but she does. I stare at her and her cheeks flush as she proceeds to bite her lower lip. I shift in my seat, turning to look out the window. Reaching for my napkin, I drop it in my lap and hunch forward over the table.

  This is exactly the reaction I didn’t want to have here. All over her biting her lip.

  “Are you okay?” Mom asks, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind tonight.

  I nod but don’t look at her.

  “Your waitress will be around soon,” Tony says. “I gotta get back in the kitchen.”

  The table is quiet, aside from Nova talking to Lenny when our waitress approaches to fill drinks. “Oh, hey, fancy meeting you here,” Jesse, the girl from the coffee stand, says with a little too much excitement as she touches my shoulder.

  Great. The hits just keep on coming tonight, don’t they?

  “What are you doing here, Jesse?”

  “Oh well, my hours at the coffee shop weren’t paying the bills, so I needed another part-time job and it worked out that Valentino’s was hiring, so here I am. Isn’t it great?” Jesse then turns to glare at Lenny, and Nova notices immediately.

  She glares at Jesse giving her a look of disgust and shakes her head. “No. Not great.”

  I nudge Nova’s chair with my foot under the table, and she looks up at me innocently. “What?”

  “Be nice.”

  She just rolls her damn eyes at me, handing Lenny a green crayon. “Can you draw the grass for me?”

  Jesse glances at Nova with a furrowed brow and then brushes it off. “What do you want to drink?”

  We order drinks, and eventually, I find myself completely enthralled with watching Nova and Lenny interacting together. Especially when Lenny ties Nova’s hair back before dinner so her curls won’t get in her pasta.

  There’s an odd stab in my chest watching them. It’s something like sadness and anger all rolled into one in the hollow parts of my heart I thought died two years ago. It’s intense, just like that emptiness inside, and harder to avoid when I shift away from the two of them giggling.

  Tony returns half way through the meal to check on us, sitting next to me with a chair he pulled up and a bottle of wine. After refilling our glasses, he drinks straight from the bottle.

  “This is the best lasagna I’ve ever had,” Lenny tells him, smiling at him.

  “Thank you. I appreciate that,” Tony says, refilling her wine once more. “It’s my wife’s recipe. Sadly she passed away before we built this place, but her memory is here. Along with Nevaeh’s.”

  My heart aches hearing her name, it’s a sudden drop in my stomach, a knot forming and Tony notices. He’s careful to mention her around me, usually because even after two years, I don’t deal with it well. I’m not sure I ever will.

  “What brought you to Lebanon?” Tony asks Lenny.

  Lenny begins to fidget, almost immediately. “Oh, uh… just looking for a change.” Her chest pricks with pink blotches and I can tell the last thing she wants is to be talking about herself. It seems to make her uncomfortable with the slightest twist into why she moved here.

  “Aren’t you related to Tyler?” Mom asks and then takes a sip of her own wine before placing her napkin on the table over her spaghetti.

  Lenny’s face goes blank for a beat, and then she slowly lifts her eyes to my mom. “Yes.” Lenny sets her fork down. “Tyler’s Aunt Maggie was my foster mom. Tyler used to come every summer and hang out with me.”

  Tony nods and then smiles at me, and then Lenny. “So how do you like working with the big guy here?”

  He had to ask that.

  “I’m grateful for the job.” Lenny’s eyes meet mine. “They seem like a great group of guys.”

  She’s not talking about me.

  “Lenny’s a great mechanic,” Mom remarks.

  I have to agree, though I haven’t told her yet.

  When we’re finished with dinner, I reach for my wallet. “How much do I owe, Tony?”

  Tony picks up Nova and kisses her cheeks. “Family doesn’t pay here.” With Nova still in his arms, he winks at Lenny. “It was a pleasure meeting you. Come back anytime and I’ll have some more of that lasagna ready for you.”

  Lenny smiles wide. “I’ll definitely be back.”

  Tony then reaches for my hand. “Thanks for bringing Nova in.”

  “Don’t fool
yourself, old man. I come for the spaghetti.”

  Tony throws his head back and belts out a loud laugh. “Oh, I know, but it’s still nice.”

  THE DRIVE BACK to mom’s house is quiet as Nova begins to fall asleep. I can’t stop thinking about how flustered Lenny got when she was asked about her past. What could have happened that would spark a reaction like that? I have this overwhelming urge to protect her and find out what she’s running from. I want to keep her safe and if that means working with me, torturing me, well then, I guess it’s gonna have to be that way.

  Our eyes catch in the rearview mirror a few times, and I can see it. She feels bad for me. The widower. The man who was left behind to take care of his daughter after his wife was murdered. It’s the same look I’ve gotten from everyone since she died and I fucking hate it. I don't want to see it on her.

  I watch her on the drive back, inquisitively examining her every movement. It’s as if my mind is trying to find ways to not like her and I can’t seem to find one anymore.

  No sooner do we pull into the driveway and Lenny kisses Nova on her temple, says thank you for bringing her along, and she’s out the door and getting into her Bronco.

  Mom looks at me with a puzzled expression. “What did you say to her?”

  “Me?” I point at myself. “You were sitting right next to me. If I said something, you would have heard it.”

  “You weren’t very nice to her,” Mom notes with raised eyebrows as she gets out and then looks to Nova.

  “Uncle Colt says Daddy’s a prick.”

  Mom glares back at me. “See… told you.” And then slams the car door on me.

  I turn to Nova. “He’s not your uncle.”

  She shrugs. “Can I have ice cream?” It seems she’s fully awake now.

  “No.”

  Backing out of the driveway, I’m half tempted to follow Lenny to Tyler’s house and ask her what her problem is. The thing is I know what her problem is. I’m a jerk to her.

  When Nova and I get home, she runs directly to the television to turn it on.

  “Nope,” I say, turning it back off and dropping the remote on the coffee table. “Bath time.”