Unsteady (The Torqued Trilogy Book 1)

by Shey Stahl

  “Tyler…” I all but whine, thinking maybe he can break it to them that I shouldn’t be there tomorrow.

  “No.” He holds his hand up and begins to walk away. “You’re coming whether you want to or not.” And then, he mimics Red’s deep voice. “Get back to work, Lennon.”

  THE NEXT DAY, once I pull up to their house, the driveway and streets filled with cars, I begin to panic. Tyler left early to pick up a keg with Red and that left me showing up alone. There’s nothing worse, as far as I’m concerned, than showing up at a party after everyone else. I’d rather not go at all when that happens.

  I’m also nervous because after the conversation with my attorney yesterday, Red noticed something was wrong. And get this. He was nice to me. Threw me for a fucking loop. I didn’t say much yesterday because I didn’t want Red finding out about my divorce, or that my soon to be ex-husband was a total fucking nut job. I couldn’t even tell you why I didn’t want him to know. Probably because of what happened to his wife, and what I came from. I thought for sure everyone saw me as weak for staying with Ben despite his behavior. The last thing I wanted was for Red to see me that way.

  I sit in my Bronco doing everything I can to talk myself into getting out of the truck. I think the only reason I do is because it’s hot out and I could use something to drink.

  As I’m walking up to the house, I’m fidgeting with my tank top, and my hair that I’ve actually curled today. It looked so good the night Raven curled it I decided to give it a try. The only thing I’m not fidgeting with is my jean shorts because I know Red likes those. Look at me, dressing to impress my boss now.

  Once I’m on the front porch, I realize the party’s around back and follow the smell of charcoal burning and country music flowing.

  The moment I open the gate, Nova spots me and runs toward me. “Lenny!”

  Everyone turns when she screams, and looks right at me. I avoid their eye contact and stare down at Nova. “Hey, pretty girl!” She wraps herself around me so I pick her up and carry her with me. Breathing in deeply, she smells like a hot summer day, sunscreen, sugar and dirt. “I missed you and it’s only been three days.”

  “I was just thinking the same thing,” she says with a beaming smile that lights up her face, a giggle falling from her. “Now I have someone to play with.”

  Glancing around the yard, I can see there are a couple other kids, two or three boys, but it’s pretty much just adults.

  “What about me?” Raven asks, tickling Nova’s sides, a beer in one of her hands, another tucked under her arm.

  Nova rolls her eyes as I set her down in the grass. I notice then she’s barefoot and covered from head-to-toe in dirt and what looks to be something that’s stained her lips bright red. “You don’t count, Auntie.”

  Raven hands me the beer under her arm and glances down at Nova. “In what world do I not count? I should be your favorite person.”

  “Raven!” Mia yells from the deck carrying out two platters of what looks to be condiments for burgers in her arms. “Can you help me bring out the rest?”

  Raven grabs my hand yanking me with her. It’s then, just as I’m stepping onto the porch, that I see him. It’s like the bar… only this time he’s not looking at me. He’s in a pretty intense conversation with his uncle and Tyler, standing near the keg with plastic cups in hand.

  He’s wearing black board shorts and a white T-shirt with his black hat. He looks fucking amazing and I want to go over there and lick him from head to toe.

  My heart beats fast when I notice him because he’s here and I can’t ignore him like I know I should.

  I know one thing, I want to get drunk, immediately, like totally shit-faced to be able to deal with him, but I also know if I’m drunk in front of him I’ll either tell him off and lose my job, or try hump his leg. Both are equally bad given his daughter is with him.

  Raven and I help Mia bring out the rest of the food for the barbeque and I’m starving once I see it all. They really know how to put on a spread from hamburgers to hot dogs, ribs, corn on the cob, potato salad. Everywhere I look, there’s food.

  Taking a sip of my beer, I smile at Mia. “Thank you so much for inviting me.”

  She hugs me to her side, her shoulder-length hair pulled back neatly under a bandana in a country-mom look she pulls off so well. Raven looks just like her in so many ways from the brown eyes to the full lips. “I’m so happy you decided to come. We love having you here.” She looks around the yard at everyone enjoying themselves, laughing and listening to music. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it this year, what with Lyric passing, but I knew I needed to. Now I’m glad I did.”

  “Sounds like Lyric was an amazing man. I’m sorry for your loss,” I tell her, knowing my words won’t comfort her, but thinking I need to say them anyway.

  “Oh, honey, it’s fine. He was a great man, but I have a loving family who’s here for me. I see him so much in the kids, too. Raven’s got his balls-to-the-wall outlook. Rawley’s got his love for music, and Red’s got his loyalty and love for anything with an engine.” And then she shakes her head, watching Red next to his uncle who now has his arm around him near the barbeque. “He was seven years old and hanging out in the shop changing oil before he knew how to do subtraction.”

  I smile, thinking about what Red would have been like as a child. I think about him walking around confidently, brown eyes shining bright as he sweeps his dark hair from his face. And when I look at Nova, I can tell she’s a spitting image of her father in that regard. They both have that same confidence.

  Nova finds me again when I’m outside, tugging on my arm. “My daddy is over there. Do you want to talk to him?” She gazes up at me with what I can only gather is her begging face. It has to be because it’s hard to say no to Nova. I’d rather make a puppy sleep in the pouring rain than tell Nova no, and puppies are my downfall. I’ll pick one up every single time and talk nonsense in a voice even I don’t recognize.

  My gaze falters, finds his in the distance. He’s talking with his uncle still, girls around him, laughing and smiling at everything he says. Why is he smiling to them yet I never see the hint of one? Does he sense I can’t make a good decision to save my ass?

  It’s like he senses that I only know how to make the wrong choices. It’s not like I’ve given him any idea as to just how badly I’ve fucked-up in the past, but when Red looks at me—I mean really looks—it’s like he can see straight through me and into my soul. Like whether I like it or not, Red will always know the real me, not the Lenny I’m trying to be.

  Nova pulls my arm in the direction of the barbeque, and toward Red and that’s the last place I want to go so I excuse myself and find Mia. “Can I use your restroom?”

  “Definitely.” She motions inside. “It’s down the hall from the kitchen next to the laundry room. You can’t miss it.”

  Their house is so cute, a country-chic style with lots of white and navy blues around. I saw most of it last weekend. It’s so open and airy with nice light colors keeping the room fresh and up-to-date.

  Inside the bathroom, I splash water over my face and try to calm my nerves. My cheeks sting from my sunburn I got on Saturday at the lake. When I look closer, I can see my nose is also peeling. Awesome. Flaky skin for a night when I wanted to look hot for Red.

  Ugh, what’s wrong with me? Why am I constantly trying to make myself look good for him? He’s my freaking boss.

  My very hot boss.

  Stop worrying so much. Have a good time. Who gives a shit whether or not he likes you? The last thing you need is another moody son of a bitch in your life.

  That’s certainly easier said than done, but I’ll start with that. Maybe I just need another beer.

  Outside the bathroom on the wall are more framed photographs. It’s then I finally see Red as a child and he’s exactly like I imagined. Nova resembles him a lot, but when I see the photograph of Nevaeh and Nova together, she’s a spitting image of her mother but with Red’s chin and smi
le. Not that I’ve seen his smile up close, but from what it looks like in the photos, it’s the same.

  “You lost?” My heart sails into my throat and I grasp my chest with my hand and turn to see Red watching me.

  “It’s rude to sneak up on people.”

  He shrugs one shoulder and casually leans against the wall, his eyes on the floor. “It’s rude to nose around in other people’s homes.”

  Pressing my lips together, I try to tamp down the embarrassment clawing at me. I poke at his chest with my index finger. His very hard, muscular chest. I want to lick up and down. “You don’t always have to be a dick to me. I was only using the bathroom and the pictures caught my eye.”

  Looking down at my finger pressed to his chest, it’s then I realize I’m touching him. By the quick intake of his breath, he notices too. You know in the romance novels when people touch and they claim they tingle? Well, I tingled all right. Between my thighs.

  Red focuses on his hand that’s not holding the beer and begins to peel at the label as I withdraw my own hand.

  Jesus, he makes leaning and acting casual sexy too.

  There’s a slight flush to his cheeks and I can tell he’s probably got a pretty good buzz going. It’s freaking adorable. A thrill shoots through me wondering what a drunk Red is like. Hopefully, he’s a nice drunk and not like Ben.

  I can see it shining in his eyes. He’s nothing like Ben.

  Tilting his head, he looks up at me with those ridiculously long eyelashes that are such a waste on a boy. Though confident and alluring, his eyes soften when he speaks in a nonchalant grace only he can master. “Relax, Lennon.” Oh fuck, panties melting, he called me by my name. Goddamn him. “I was only kidding.”

  I’m speechless. Is he… no… he can’t be being playful.

  I offer him a smile, trying to keep myself under control. It’s hard. Look at him, it’s about as hard as his fucking muscles.

  Pushing himself off the wall, he looks back at me over his shoulder. “Come back out here. The party’s just getting started.”

  Red walks in front of me, and I stare at his ass the entire time and the way he looks relaxed in a pair of black board shorts. He’s got on this white T-shirt with some black logo on the back, but all I see is the way his tattoos stand out against the brightness of his shirt. I hate that he looks so good tonight.

  Outside the house, the moderate-sized, fenced backyard is crowded with people. Along the cherry-stained deck are tiny twinkle lights along the white rails that lead down into the well-manicured lawn. It’s beautiful and should be on the cover of Pottery Barn.

  Country music pulses through the air but it’s not too loud, enough that you can still hold a conversation.

  Raven finds me, looping her arm in mine. “Sounds good, huh?”

  “The music?” Raven nods. “Yeah, it does.”

  “Berkley always sets us up. She’s a bartender at Murphy’s.” And then her face scrunches. “She’s also Tyler’s ex-girlfriend.”

  Whoa. That face tells me she has feelings for Tyler, more than she cares to lead on.

  Glancing around the yard, I wonder who she is. Probably one of the hot babes hanging around Red, or even Rawley. “Which one is Berkley?”

  “The one standing next to Rawley and Linc.” Raven points near the back fence. “Short girl with shoulder-length black hair.”

  My eyes follow to where they’re standing and it’s clear this Berkley girl is into Rawley by the way she’s staring at him with that stare. You know the stare, the one where she’s looking like she’s going to walk up and drop to her knees to suck his dick any second. I know the look because I’m secretly giving it to Red. I’m seriously that obvious.

  I wonder if Red knows the look?

  “Are they dating?” I ask, and then notice three other girls beside him. “Who are all those girls beside him?”

  “The ones around Rawley?” Raven smirks, bringing her beer to her lips and nodding to an empty pair of chairs near where Nova is playing with some kids.

  I follow her over there and we take a seat. “Yeah, those ones.”

  “His harem. The dude’s a fucking whore. So Berkley broke up with Tyler about… I don’t know, like a few months back, and she’s been hanging on Rawley ever since.”

  “No shit?” I knew about Tyler and Berkley, but Rawley… I try to imagine him as a player and I can’t. But I also never thought Ben was a nut job until after we were married. Guess you never can tell with people.

  “Yep. Small town. I figure eventually, everyone will have slept with someone in their family.”

  I laugh. “That’s disgusting.”

  Nova takes off chasing one of the little boys only to have Rawley grab her by the waist and swing her around. They run back near us and Raven nods to her brother. “Hey, Rawley, look, Sophie’s here… and look, Jesse too and Sam… and Bentley. What are you going to do since they’re all here at once? Do you schedule in ten minute increments for them to blow you?”

  He tosses a glare over his shoulder at her covering Nova’s ears. “Shut up, Raven.”

  She looks back at me. “See, told you he’s a slut.”

  “Are any of them actually his girlfriend?” I ask once Rawley leaves, chasing Nova around the backyard.

  “Well, Sophie was his first girlfriend in high school,” she explains. “But they broke up shortly after spring break senior year. Then he started getting blow jobs from Sam. It’s just one after another but he still hangs onto Jesse.”

  And here I thought my life was complicated. “Lots of drama.”

  She nods. “Pretty much.”

  Fidgeting with the label on my beer, I’m reminded of Red, mostly because he’s staring at me from across the lawn. “Doesn’t Jesse have a thing for Red though?”

  “Yup.” Raven crosses her legs, leaning toward me. “Which is why Rawley only gets blow jobs from her. I don’t know… I think there’s more but she only uses him to get to Red.”

  “I bet that pisses him off?”

  “Yeah, Red and Rawley have always had their differences. Maybe it’s because he’s eight years older than us, but deep down, Rawley looks up to him. Only he doesn’t want to follow in his footsteps if that makes sense.”

  “It totally does,” I agree, trying to understand how Rawley must feel living in Red’s shadow. “He doesn’t want to be Red’s little brother forever.”

  “Exactly. He’s a good guy, just confused… and slutty.”

  “What happened with his girlfriend? Why’d they break up?”

  “She cheated on him over spring break. Claims she doesn’t know how it happened but whatever. Anyway, Rawley was into her. I swear they were gonna get married and she begged him to forgive her, but he wouldn’t. He lost his shit over it shortly before graduation, almost got himself killed drinking and driving one night. It was all fucked-up for a while. He’s still not the same guy since her.”

  “That’s kinda sad.”

  Raven levels me a serious look. I half expect her to bitch slap me. “Do not feel bad for him. He and Sophie started talking again about three months ago and he fucked that up by sleeping around on her.” She gestures to the girls and they’re all hanging out together like they’re friends. “I’m waiting for the day they find out about one another. I mean, really, I can’t fucking stand people who cheat. Holden, my boyfriend of three years cheated on me… and it sucked.” She looks down at her beer. “Shit, I’m out.”

  We both stand to get another one, and then end up eating with Nova. It’s something like an hour later and someone yells, “Seriously? Seriously, Rawley?”

  The majority of the heads surrounding the house look over to see Rawley exiting the house with Jesse right behind him adjusting her dress and Rawley buckling his belt. I’ve never understood why people don’t adjust themselves in the bathroom before opening the door. I mean, so you fucked around. Way to make it more obvious by remaining half put together as you exit the bathroom. That’s just asking to get caught.


  Rawley appears shocked, shaking his head maybe at his own disappointment, or his dick’s, and follows Sophie as she storms around the side of the house away from him. “Sophie!” he yells after her, like it will make a difference. “It’s not what it looked like!”

  Raven takes it upon herself to yell, “Run, Sophie. It’s exactly what it looks like.”

  Rawley pauses at the gate, scowling. “Shut the hell up, Raven.”

  “Why is she mad at Uncle Rawley? Did he pull her hair?” Nova asks, trying to swipe a drink of Raven’s beer.

  “Hey.” She yanks it up out of reach. “I told you beer is off limits. That was a one-time thing when I let you try that hard apple cider.”

  Nova backs up a step and takes the Capri Sun next to her. “Fine.” She then stomps off.

  Red walks toward us, shaking his head in laughter. “Stupid fucker. Deserves whatever shit Sophie throws at him. I can’t believe he thought he would never get caught.”

  Standing beside him, Raven hugs Red with one arm around his waist, their height difference apparent. “See, Lenny. This is a real man. My big brother knows how to treat a lady.”

  “No, I wouldn’t.” Red smiles, winking at me, and then hugs Raven to him. “Are you wanting a raise or something?”

  Mia then walks up shaking her head as well. “I honestly don’t know where we went wrong with Rawley.”

  “You dropped him too many times,” Raven adds.

  “I kinda want to blame your father,” Mia snorts, rolling her eyes at Raven. “He allowed Colt to watch him too many times.”

  Colt, having heard that, yells, “Hey! I’m standing right here.”

  Mia turns to him, grinning and holding up her wine glass. “I know. But you know it’s true.”

  Everybody laughs and Raven and Mia walk away to check on Nova who is playing with Crystal’s two boys leaving me alone with Red.

  Red takes a swig of his beer and looks at me, giving a head nod. “Are you having a good time?”

  I notice then we’re drinking the same beer. As I stand there, amped and nervous, afraid to move even an inch because I never want that smile to fade, I reply with, “I am. It’s been a long time since I’ve had fun.”