Unsteady (The Torqued Trilogy Book 1)

by Shey Stahl

  His expression darkens with lust, blinking slowly. “Oh, I’m sure I can think of some way for you to repay me.”

  Internally, I’m debating inside because though I know I needed tires, it’s still foreign to have him helping this way because he wants to. Do I really deserve all this?

  “Why is hard for you to believe I wanted to do something nice for you?”

  “Because no one ever has.”

  Red’s beginning to be able to read my moods and facial expressions easily and tips his head. “Come with me.” And then he grabs my hand, a jack handle, and takes me behind the shop to the old 1950 Ford Mercury. He then touches the hood with the jack handle. “What kind of car is this?”

  “1950 Ford Mercury.”

  He grins, winking at me. “First of all, I can’t tell you how fucking sexy it is to me that you know that.” Raising the jack handle up over his head, he brings it down on the hood with a grunt. The rusted metal buckles under the force, the violent bang against the hood is deafening and I flinch, my eyes fluttering as he continues to hit the car. After the hood is dented, the windows smashed out of it and the headlight, he looks at me, panting and drops the jack handle to the ground.

  “What kind of car is this?”

  At the sound of his voice, I lift my eyes from the car to his. “It’s still a 1950 Ford Mercury.”

  “Exactly.” He steps forward, his hands on my hips as he dips his head to catch my eyesight. “Nothing I do to this car will ever change the fact that it’s a 1950 Ford Mercury. It might be a beat-to-shit, rustic pile of junk, but it’s still a 1950 Ford Mercury.” Realization hits me when he touches his hand to my cheek, his calloused skin from a hard-working man moving over me. “Nothing that’s happened to you, defines you. It will never change who you are inside. A good person. A deserving person.”

  Running my hands up his chest, I fist the fabric between my fingers, knuckles turning white. I’m so freaking turned-on by all this and the fact that he’s all sweaty now I have to show him how much I appreciate this. Because he’s absolutely right. Nothing will ever change who I am inside. “Do you have to go get Nova?”

  “She’s with my mom tonight. I have to go get her after this.”

  “Can you be a little late?”

  He nods.

  “Then come with me.”

  THE GRAVELS SHIFTS under my tires as we hit the dirt country road, my Bronco shaking from side to side with each worn out rut. The grass lining the road is tall, overgrown and hugging the edges, swaying with the warm summer breeze.

  “Does anyone live down this road?” I ask Red when he looks at me like I’m crazy for turning down this road.

  “I don’t think so, but do you know where you’re going?”

  “Not a clue.” The sky rumbles and I know I should have put the top up, but it’s all part of my plan. “Is this a dead end?”

  His eyes don’t meet mine. He’s watching where we’re going, probably trying to figure out if I’m taking him out here for a reason. “Yeah….”

  About a mile down the road, it opens to a clearing with a cul-de-sac between trees. Perfect private spot.

  When I come to a stop, his eyes shine as the awareness hits him. “You want to have sex with me out here, don’t you?”

  I give a nod to the backseat. “Yep. Now get your ass in the back.”

  It’s about then the sky opens up and lets out a pattern of fat rain drops that make a pop as they hit the leather seats in my bronco. It’s not pouring, but it’s enough we’re gonna get wet out here.

  Beads of water drip from Red’s chin and then his eyes sparkle playfully as a smile tugs at his lips. His breathing turns heavy as he reaches for my hand to help me in the back. “Did you drive me out here for sex in the rain?” Red asks, his smirk sexy as hell.

  “Yep.”

  He laughs at my enthusiasm when I straddle him. “Are you sure?”

  Over his shoulder, the clouds roll in low, like fog blanketing the country road we’re parked down. “Shut up and take your clothes off. I’ve always wanted to do this.”

  His hand rises and wipes down the side of my face, freeing it of the rain. “Sexy. Yet so demanding.”

  “Damn right.”

  He removes his shirt, my knees pressing into the leather seat, his eyes holding mine like heavy weights as I rock against his jean-clad erection. I don’t even care that my bronco is getting wet. All I care about is this, him, the moment we’re in and the way his eyes are intent on mine.

  My lashes sprinkle water on my cheeks when I blink, soft wet kisses from the sky. I settle my weight on him, molding to every hard, defined line of his sculpted body. The cool rain on my back gives me a jolt, adding to the spike in my adrenaline that he’s this close again, something I swear I’ll never get used to.

  His hands rise, sweeping water from my cheek. “You’re beautiful, even when soaking wet.” The words are caught against the space between my neck and shoulder.

  The rain picks up and I smile, closing my eyes at Red’s heavy, hot breath warming my skin immediately. Arching my back, I rock into him, his hands on my waist and dipping inside my jeans to palm my bare ass. “But you’d look even better naked and wet.”

  Impatient, greedy hands work my wet shirt over my head and then palm my breasts, rolling my wet nipple between his thumb and forefinger. “I agree. Sex in the rain is worth it.”

  “We haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.” I moan at his touch, consumed by him and wanting everything and anything he’s going to give.

  His lips make a path up my shoulder slower than I care for and I’m eagerly tugging at him, writhing against him. He seems hell-bent on taking his time and it’s both frustrating and endearing that he’s wanting this to last. It seems anytime we’re together, he’s trying to stop time, slow it down and worship me. And though I completely appreciate that, I can’t slow down when it comes to Red. I don’t want to because I’ve waited so long for this with him, the feeling of wanting to stop time.

  The rain picks up and my body slides against his as I tip my head back, his hands cradling my head, his mouth moving over my chest to my nipples and then back up again with a growl of frustration as he drags my hips back and forth of his rock-hard erection. I nearly come with just that, such a delicious rhythm of movements.

  Pulling my hair to the side, he gently nips my wet overheated skin, barely brushing but enough that it sends my nerves over the edge and my thighs clenching in anticipation at what’s to come next.

  Moving my hands lower to the buckle of his jeans, I get the leather worked apart enough to unbutton them. Without breaking the kiss, I unzip them and reach for the button of my shorts. I have to get these clothes off. I desperately need him inside me.

  Raising his hips, he nods for me to get up so he can get his jeans off. Standing in the back of the Bronco, rain pelting my face, I look up at the sky as his hands slide up my thighs and grasp the edge of my jean shorts. If you’ve never taken wet jeans off, it’s surprisingly difficult.

  With a lot of effort on both parts and nearly falling out of the back of the Bronco, Red gets them off. When I look down at him, my hands thread in the wet strands of his hair, fisting the darkness between my fingers.

  He groans against my center, licking me once and then I’m being yanked back down onto his lap. Apparently, he’s done waiting now.

  Before he enters me, he reaches over and gets the condom from his wallet, quickly putting it on.

  My legs part, allowing him better access. His muscles flex when he pushes up, the movement of his hips causing me to shudder. Right now, in this position, I’m in complete control here and we both know it. I stretch to accommodate his thickness. A rush of shivers vibrate through my entire body.

  “Fuck me,” he whispers, coaxing me along with his hands gripping and slipping on my ass cheeks.

  As I rock my hips back and forth, I hit the right spot, so deep, so right. Closing my eyes, I hold him as tightly as I can, riding him in a slow, st
eady rhythm. My hands slip over his rain-soaked shoulders and up in my own hair as I twist and grind into him.

  “Jesus Christ, you’re sexy….” He grunts the words, his eager hands gripping my hips.

  When I look down at him, wet strands of hair sticking to my face, he gives me a look. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. He knows what’s happening. I’m falling for him and it’s evident in times like this.

  “You’re so beautiful like this, Lennon,” he pants, briefly closing his eyes and swallowing hard. “Naked, wet, vulnerable….”

  I’ve always imagined that when I fell for someone, it would happen, or could, in a moment. Not over time, but an actual moment where I can look back and say, yep, it was right then.

  I’ve just never had it happen to know what it looks like. A “forever” moment. The kind that demands I be in it, and understand it. I guess in some ways, I’ll know when because from then on, nothing’s the same, right? I’d think differently and I know, should I leave this to chance, this might possibly hurt.

  It’d be like jumping into muddy water off a dock on the hottest summer day. The heat, it’s too much to take and I know there’s relief in jumping. Only, I can’t see the bottom. I have no idea how deep it is, or what’s lurking under the surface, I just know the water’s muddy. Despite the mud, I’d dip my toes in and it’s cool. It’s a relief from the sweltering heat blistering my skin.

  Forgetting the hesitation, I’m jumping in.

  In the back of my Bronco when the sun dips down over the trees and rain kisses my cheeks, I jump into that muddy water with Red.

  “IT’S TUESDAY. NOVA wants to go see Tony tonight. Would you like to come to dinner with us?” Red asks, watching Nova sit quietly on his toolbox staring at his phone after all the guys left for the night. Mia had just dropped her off.

  I’m beginning to understand Nova likes a schedule. I guess that might be normal for kids. Sunday’s she wants to see her mom. Tuesday’s she wants Italian food and to see Grandpa Tony. I assume this schedule thing is because it gives her a sense of security to know what to expect. I know I would have loved that as a child.

  I smile, relaxing in the relief I found these two. In Oklahoma, or any other place I’d been, all I saw was darkness in my future. A path that had no beginning or end. Now, though it holds uncertainty, I have something to look forward to.

  “I’d like that,” I tell Red, my smile a little brighter. “I’ve been craving that lasagna.”

  He winks, hip checking me reaching for his keys on his toolbox. “And then later… in my bed….” His voice trails off when I scrunch my nose. “What?”

  “Sorry, but it’s you know, that time of the month. I started this morning.”

  “Man, really?” Red hangs his head. “Damn it.”

  “Sorry.”

  His eyes light up. “We can—”

  I cut him off immediately when he squeezes my ass with one hand. “Nope.”

  He pouts, his bottom lip out. I laugh because I know where Nova gets that look from now. “Blow job then?” You can’t miss the eagerness in his proposition.

  “I think that can be arranged.”

  He pulls back and hits the button to close the bay doors for the night. Everyone else went home hours ago, but here we are, taking our time leaving. “I’ll be right back. Let me just go lock the back doors. Rawley left the damn keys in the forklift out back. It’ll take me a minute and then we can go grab some dinner.” With a quick kiss on my cheek, he leaves.

  Nova watches him walk by her. “Where are you going, Daddy? I’m hungry.”

  “Gotta lock up. Stay with Lenny.” And then, he’s out the back door.

  Making my way down to Nova, I stop in front of Red’s toolbox and smile up at her as she sets her dad’s phone down and lunges herself into my arms. “Hey, pretty girl. Did you miss me last night?” Last night I decided to stay with Tyler. It was tough. After the rain last night, I needed to wash clothes so being at the apartment was easier.

  I hated being away from Red and Nova, but I also thought it was important they have some time just the two of them. Look at me, already forming an attachment after one weekend. In all honesty, I formed an attachment the moment I saw them at that pizza restaurant together. If not then, it was the Fourth-of-July party.

  “I always miss you, Lenny.” Her arms tighten around my neck. “Can we have a sleep over tonight?”

  “Maybe.” I tickle her ribs, her laughter flowing through the air.

  You know those times where everything just seems to fall into place and it appears that maybe you will finally be able to relax? I’m pretty sure those don’t exist for me. And might never.

  “Who’s that?” Nova asks, pointing behind me, her brow scrunching.

  I don’t have to turn to know who it is. My heart pounds vigorously in my chest, a reminder of the graveness that’s before me.

  I’d let my guard down. I jumped into that muddy water and got mud in my eyes.

  “Lenny….” He breathes the words from behind, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.

  Everything good instantly disappears, leaving me with a steady, yet painful thump in my chest.

  Ben found me.

  The air compressor kicks on, the belt squealing in the distance as Ben approaches behind me, his boots scraping against the concrete as he drags his feet. I don’t turn around. My fixed gaze is trained on Nova, hoping she’ll listen to me. “I want you to run.” Nova’s eyes widen, her tiny body tensing as I set her on the ground. A wave of apprehension sweeps over me as I whisper, “Go now.”

  She tries to run, but Ben blocks her from the door and points a gun at the two of us. “Nope. She’s staying.”

  Oh my God! He has a gun!

  Maybe Nova understands the danger we’re in because she says nothing. Absolutely nothing and grabs my hand.

  “You look different,” Ben says, pointing a gun at me, waving to my body. He takes another step toward me and Nova, his walk slow and sure, filled with arrogance. He looks different. His usual clean-shaven face now has a two-week beard and he reeks like tequila.

  Icy fear twists my heart, pulls at my chest. “I am different.” My jaw clenches, my blood rushing in pulsing waves through my body. “What are you doing here, Ben?” My body is fully aware of how close he is, and my instinct is to run, but I also know that there is no escaping this now. Not with Nova here. Instead, I tuck her behind me, blocking her from Ben.

  “I told you, Lenny. I told you that you wouldn’t get away from me.” He pushes the words through his teeth and the barrel of his gun aimed solidly at my head. “You didn’t listen.” His tone borders on mockery and I know there’s something very different about him. “You never fucking listen. So now I had to come all the way here to bring you home.”

  “I am home.”

  Dark and sardonic laughter spills from him as he waves the gun around the shop like a lunatic, his actions jerked and sudden, as if he has no control over them.

  I begin to shake as the fearful images build in my mind at what he’s going to do with that gun. “What… here? You gonna play mommy to that little shit?” His angry lit eyes land on mine. “You must be fucking kidding yourself if you think these people are going to let you into their family. It’s only a matter of time before they realize what a piece of shit you are and then what? Huh?” His eyes blaze as he takes another step toward me and jets his chin up at an odd angle. He’s on something. He has to be. “What are you going to do then, Lenny? I’ll tell you what you’re going to do. You’re going to do the same goddamn thing you’ve always done. Come crawling back to me. Well, guess what? I’m not going to just sit around waiting for you to beg your way back into my bed. No. I’m here to take back what’s mine!”

  As sweat pours from his brow, wide black eyes pin me. It’s glaringly obvious Ben is more than drunk. He’s high on something. Probably cocaine. It was always his drug of choice. If his eyes don’t give him away, his jittery movements do. He’s volatile
, and there’s no reasoning with him.

  “I’m not going anywhere with you, Ben. Just go.” I step back. I’m trapped now between Red’s toolbox and the welder next to it, my skin prickling with the threat of him moving closer. I can’t back up anymore, and I already have Nova squished. Darting my eyes to the back door, I try to breathe normally, try to see this situation for what it is and remain calm for Nova.

  Ben dips his head forward, another exaggerated motion, trying to catch my blurry stare. “You want me to walk away?”

  “Yes, I do. I want you to leave.” My words and body tremble, the thump in my chest making me painfully aware of the danger, and how it can potentially end. It’s in his staggered step, the low voice, the black eyes; all reminders he’s unstable and could react at any second.

  He lowers his gun for a moment, looking at me with a mix of confusion and anger. “I gave you everything and this is how you repay me?” He suddenly throws his arms to the side knocking over a tool cart. The loud crash and his sudden burst of anger sends a tremble through my body.

  Then he moves his unsteady stare to Nova as she peeks out from behind my leg.

  He blinks, focusing on her, his labored breathing faltering as if his heart is beating out of control. “What’s your name, sweet girl?” His voice is softer when he steps to the right to see her. He wants her to trust him. I know the voice because it’s how he got me into his life in the first place.

  Nova’s eyes flicker to him as she wraps her arms around my legs. “Nova.”

  “Where’s your daddy?”

  “Not here,” Nova tells him, scowling. She’s lying to protect him.

  “Are you lying to me?”

  She’s seemingly unaffected by him and says, “No.”

  “Hmm….” Ben laughs, straightening his posture stiffly and pointing the gun at my head now. “She must be hanging around you too much. Has that lying thing down good.”

  “I never lied to you… Ben.”

  “Yes, you did,” he spits, his words laced with accusation as he waves the gun around. “You lied and you know it.”