Yearning Absolution (Yearning Series)

by Rachael Orman

  Cole walked in the room and took one look at the lost expression on Gwen’s face. He knew she’d had a bad dream. “What is it? What’s wrong, Gwen?”

  “I had a dream that McKayla had come back. But she didn’t did she?” Gwen looked up at him as he moved to sit next to her on the bed.

  “No, baby. She didn’t.” Cole pulled her into his lap and surrounded her with his arms as she started to weep.

  “Why can’t she see that I love her so much? Why can’t I have both of you? I have to talk to her. I have to make her see.” Gwen tried to hold back the sobs, but she couldn’t stop them. The only other time she’d cried like this in her whole life had been when she’d thought Cole had lied to her about being married. Back then she had moved on, she had picked up the pieces and made the best life that she and McKayla could. But this time she refused. She would fight hard, she would give anything she could to have McKayla in her life. They had too much history. They had been through too much together for it to just end. Gwen pushed away from Cole and climbed off the bed. She went to the kitchen to retrieve her purse and her phone. Pulling out her phone, she dialed McKayla’s number. No answer, straight to voicemail. She tried again. Same thing happened.

  Letting out a frustrated yell, Gwen turned and threw her phone as hard as she could across the kitchen. She fell to her knees, her head in her hands and cried. Cole was there, but it didn’t matter. She just wanted the chance to explain to McKayla what she was feeling.

  Another week passed still with no word from McKayla. Gwen had returned to work and was now trying to work long hours to make up for the weeks that she had been out. Her life would almost be good, if it weren’t for the constant hanging stress of Richard being out there looking for her and the huge chunk of her heart that was refusing to talk to her.

  Gwen had started calling at least once a day to leave a message asking McKayla to meet with her or at least return her calls. But still nothing. Every day dragged by and every day her little belly was growing just a bit bigger. She’d broke the news to Coral Lyn as soon as she’d returned that she was expecting, but not who the father was. It’d come out over time but she wasn’t ready to deal with people talking about her sleeping with the boss. She was still a new employee and the rumor mill could be brutal. Sure, a few people had seen them together at the party they’d gone to but apparently word hadn’t spread down from the higher ups that had been at the party yet.

  Gwen was just packing up her stuff for the day when Cole walked into her design room at the office. It was nearly 9 at night. “I’m just about done.”

  “Ok. I was actually coming to share some news with you.” Cole said sitting down on one of the numerous rolly stools in the room. Today he had dressed in a pair of tan dress pants, a black jacket with a blue button up dress shirt. This morning he’d had on a red and white tie, but it was nowhere to be seen now.

  “What news?” Gwen stopped and looked at him.

  “Well, I know that you’ve been hoping to talk to McKayla but she is avoiding your calls.” Cole unbuttoned his sleeves and started rolling them up one at a time.

  “Right.” Gwen took the few short steps it took to stand right in front of him.

  “I just might have asked a designer friend to make an appointment with her. To meet her for coffee and discuss her working for them at an upcoming show.” Cole cleared his throat and reached up to place both hands on her hips. He looked up at her. “But instead of them meeting her, it’ll be you. Unless you don’t want to. They will meet her because the offer is a serious one but they agreed to do me this favor.”

  “Really?” Gwen looked at him as a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “I don’t know what I’ll say but I’ll take any opportunity to try to make her understand.”

  “It’s all yours baby.” Cole leaned forward and rested his cheek against her belly. “I’d do anything for you.”

  Chapter 23

  It had been two weeks since Gwen had found out that she would be able to see McKayla in person again. The appointment ended up having to be pushed back when McKayla got picked up to do work overseas. Gwen was mentally preparing for what she would say when she saw her next week.

  She sat staring at the half made dresses on their mannequins. Her hand was idling rubbing her now noticeable belly. Earlier in the week, she and Cole had gone to pick up a few maternity outfits for her to wear because she could no longer fit into any of her old clothes. Her belly was growing quicker now it seemed. Cole was loving the belly, always touching and kissing it.

  Coral Lyn had just left to pick up their lunch so Gwen was all alone in the room. She was thinking of what they needed to do next. In her mind, she was constantly making small alterations and changes to the pattern to make it more perfect than the initial sketch had been.

  The phone sitting on her desk in the back corner of the room rang and Gwen quickly made her way to it. It rarely rang and when it did it was normally business related.

  “This is Gwen.” She held the phone up to her ear. Callers had to go through reception or had to use her exact extension but she still felt the need to let callers know who had answered the phone.

  “Well, there is that beautiful voice I’ve been trying so hard to get ahold of.” Richard’s gritty voice floated through the phone.

  “Richard.” Gwen gasped. Her entire body was instantly covered with goose bumps. Her heart sped up just from the sound of his voice.

  “Ah. So, your rich boyfriend has found out a little bit about me. Can’t say I’m surprised as they’ve been trying to track me down, and doing a piss poor job of it might I add.” Richard said as Gwen pressed a protective hand to her belly. She felt physically ill but right at that moment she felt the undeniable bump of one of the babies moving. It was the first time she had felt it. It gave her the support she needed.

  “What is it that you want, Richard? I’m not the little girl you once tortured. I want you to leave me alone.” Gwen knew she could no longer be afraid of him. She now had babies to protect.

  “Oh, you think you are so different? You are still the ugly little bitch that spread her legs for me and enjoyed it. Your rich boyfriend might pretend like he cares but do you really think he wants a piece of trash like you in his life. He is just playing with you. He knows you really are someone no one could truly love. How sad is it that even your own flesh and blood didn’t want you? They dumped you as soon as they could. At least I took care of you.”

  “You tortured and raped me. That is not how you take care of someone.” Gwen was breathing fast but she refused to show him her fear. “Go find someone else to bother. I won’t be such an easy victim this time.”

  “Just you watch and see. I already got your lesbian lover to leave you. You think I won’t be able to show rich boy what a waste you are? All this money he is pouring into private investigators is pointless and he’ll figure out you aren’t worth all that soon enough. Then, you’ll be all mine.” With that, the phone went dead in Gwen’s hand.

  Gwen slowly sank to the ground, wrapping her arms around her knees. She rocked back and forth as tears sped down her cheeks, soaking the knees of her black slacks.

  She heard the click of the door, meaning someone was coming in her office. She quickly jumped up and raced around her desk. She didn’t know what she was going to do had it been Richard, but to her relief it was Coral Lyn returning with their lunch. Gwen quickly swiped away the tears on her cheeks and blew her nose. Coral Lyn looked up at the sound of Gwen blowing her nose.

  “Everything ok?” Coral Lyn tilted her head at Gwen.

  “Oh yea. Just hormones, you know.” Gwen waved her hand through the air. “I’m fine. Let’s go eat in the break room. I need to walk a bit anyway.”

  “Sure. Okay.” Coral Lyn picked the bags back up. They had been going to eat in the design room and eat as they worked but she wasn’t opposed to an actual lunch break. “You know, I meant to ask you if you have any pictures of the baby. Have you had any crazy pregnant dreams? I�
��ve heard when you are pregnant you have really vivid dreams.”

  “I didn’t tell you? Its twins. And yes, I do. Let me grab them from my purse.” Gwen proudly pulled the pictures from their last ultrasound from her purse as they walked toward the break room. She wasn’t going to tell Coral Lyn about the sex dream she had.

  That night as Gwen laid in bed watching Cole undress, she pondered over whether or not to tell him about the phone call. She’d gone back and forth about it all afternoon. She stood from the bed in her cotton tank and shorts then followed Cole into the closet. She found him throwing his suit in the dry cleaning basket wearing only a pair of boxer briefs.

  “Well, hello, sexy. What are you doing out of bed? I was going to join you in just a minute.” Cole turned to face her. Gwen tried not to notice the tent he was starting to pitch in his briefs.

  “There is something I want to talk to you about and I didn’t want to do it in bed. I don’t want those thoughts in our bed.” Gwen stepped closer to him. Her hands resting on his well built chest as she looked into those heart stopping green eyes. “Well, that and I wanted to find you half naked. Always such a treat.”

  “Oh no, you can’t distract me with sex after what you just said. What is on your mind?” Cole gently ran his fingers over her cheek then down her neck to push her hair over her shoulder before laying a soft kiss on the base of her neck. “Then you can distract away.”

  “I got a call today.” Gwen spoke softly and just those words had Cole pulling back to look into her eyes. “From Richard.”

  “What?” Cole’s voice was harsh. “Where? When? What did he say?”

  “It was while Coral Lyn was out picking up lunch so I was alone in my office…” Gwen stopped when Cole cut her off.

  “This was at MHKR?” Cole was furious. His arms were flexed as his hands clenched. He took a calming deep breath when Gwen stepped back from him. “Please, continue.”

  “He just spouted off a bunch of non-sense. Like that he is the reason McKayla left and that he would get you to leave me too.” Gwen swallowed hard. Cole grabbed the back of her head and pressed a hard kiss to her lips and pressed his forehead to hers.

  “Absolutely nothing is going to make me leave you. Especially not some tiny dick little prick.” Cole growled. He pressed another hard kiss to her lips before turning and slamming his fist into the wall of the closet, leaving a hole in the plaster.

  Gwen quickly stepped back towards the door to the bedroom. Violence was not something she handled well, and not something she expected at all from Cole.

  “No, baby. Don’t run from me. I’d never lay a single finger on you in anger.” Cole pulled her tightly to his chest. Gwen could hear his heart pounding in his chest. “I’m doing everything I can to keep you safe and this fucker is somehow always one step ahead. He keeps finding little holes to slip through to get to you.”

  “It’s ok, Cole. I’m not afraid of him. Well, I take that back. I am still horribly afraid of him. But I’m not afraid to stand up to him now. I absolutely refuse to let him get to me or our children. These babies rely upon me to keep them safe and I’ll be damned if they are exposed to that world I lived in.” Gwen tightened her arms around Cole’s waist just as tight as he was holding her.

  “I love you so much. You are such a little fireball. You are going to make such a wonderful mother.” Cole nuzzled his nose into her neck. “Now what do you say I take you to bed and distract that beautiful mind of yours?”

  “What if I distract you instead?” Gwen smiled as her fingers brushed over the day old stubble along his jaw.

  “Let’s distract each other.” Cole scooped her up and cherished the feel of her arms around his shoulders as he carried her to bed.

  Chapter 24

  Today was the day. After work today, Gwen was meeting with McKayla. She hadn’t had any more phone calls from Richard in the week that had passed and for that she was grateful. Today she had a meeting with Cole in his office. Coral Lyn was coming with her to help bring some of the design board and help explain what they were working on to Cole. Gwen was determined to at least help Coral Lyn learn as much as she could since that was in essence why she was Gwen’s assistant.

  Gwen barely lifted a hand to acknowledge the stuffy receptionist right at the elevators and made her way down to Cole’s private secretary, Tiffany.

  “Hi, Tiff. I think he is expecting us.” Gwen smiled. Although she talked to Tiffany many times when she’d called to talk to Cole, she hadn’t actually been up to his office in a few weeks. He normally came to meet her after work.

  “Of course. Head right in.” Tiffany said as a big smile climbed on her face as her eyes landed on Gwen’s protruding belly.

  Gwen shrugged. It couldn’t have been that hard for the girl to piece together that Gwen called him all the time so she probably assumed they were dating anyway. Secretaries always knew the dirt on the boss. Even though she was told to head right in, Gwen still knocked once on the door before pushing it open. Coral Lyn was right on her heels to help push the heavy door open far enough for both of them to enter the office.

  “Come in.” Cole was seated behind his large desk. His jacket hanging over his chair and his shirt sleeves rolled up. He looked up and a smile instantly lit his face when he locked eyes with Gwen. “Ah. Gwen and Coral Lyn. Please set up your display.”

  “Yes, sir.” Gwen forced herself to look away and get the different displays up. It only took a moment and she turned back to face him again. The two of them quickly updated Cole on the progress on the designs and changes that had been made. Cole simply made a few notes and nodded.

  “Looks like all is going well, even with your extended absence.” Cole looked right at Gwen.

  “Yes, well, with an unexpected pregnancy, I think we were all a bit surprised. I won’t make a habit of it. Now that the early stages of sickness have passed, I don’t plan on being out much until after the birth. And that should be after the show so it shouldn’t cause any more hiccups with this project. Plus, Coral Lyn has been doing a wonderful job of keep things running even while I’m out of the office.” Gwen gestured to Coral Lyn standing slightly behind her.

  “Of course. I’d expect nothing less of you or her. You may continue your day now.” Cole nodded towards the door. Coral Lyn turned and started gathering the materials they had brought with them. Gwen turned to do the same but her eyes landed on a picture frame on Cole’s desk. It was turned so that she could barely see what it was but she had seen that picture numerous times so she knew exactly what it was. Cole had framed and put in a dominate spot on his desk the sonogram picture Gwen had given him of the twins. A large smile instantly spread over her face and her eyes jumped to his. He smiled back at her for a moment before breaking the eye contact.

  Gwen turned and quickly gathered the last of the materials and followed Coral Lyn out of the room. As they made their way to the elevators, Coral Lyn looked over her shoulder to make sure they were alone in the hallway.

  “He is so fucking hot. But he always acts a bit like a dick.” Coral Lyn’s voice pitched low even though they were alone.

  “I’m sure it’s just business.” Gwen shrugged. She knew what he was like outside of the office but she wasn’t sharing that with anyone.

  “Well, if that’s the case, I want to run into that fine piece of ass outside of work. I’d show him a thing or two.” Coral Lyn laughed loudly at herself just before they reached the elevators and the stodgy receptionist waiting there.

  “You don’t think he knows what he’s doing in bed?” Gwen couldn’t help but go along with it once the elevator doors had shut and they were alone again.

  “I don’t know. I accidently tripped a few months ago and ended up grabbing onto his arm to stop from falling. I’ll tell you that suit of his hides a whole lot of muscles. I felt how hard he is with my hand. But he just looked at me with those cold green eyes. I don’t know if it’s that he doesn’t have sex or he just wasn’t interested in me.” Coral Lyn fan
ned herself with her hand. The elevator opened and they made their way through the halls to Gwen’s design room. “Either way, that man has a drool worthy body under those boring suits.”

  “Oh, I’ve a pretty good idea. Those suits are tailored quite well.” Gwen laughed as she set her stuff down on the counter.

  “I wonder what he looks like naked. Probably give me a heart attack.” Coral Lyn spoke as she walked to another table and set the stuff she’d been carrying down. “Even if he knows what he’s doing in the sack, I think I could show him a move or two he hasn’t seen before.”

  “I bet.” Gwen laughed and shook her head. “Might scare him to death too.”

  A few hours later, Gwen’s mood was drastically different. She was making her way to the little café she was supposed to surprise McKayla at. She didn’t like the idea of just popping in on her, but she was desperate to speak to her.

  Right outside the doors she took a deep breath and pulled down on her top to hide her belly as best she could, but there really was no hiding it. It had been a long time since she’d seen McKayla. The last time had been before she’d learned she was pregnant. Gwen knew the surprise of her being pregnant alone was going to be a shock for McKayla. But there wasn’t much she could do about it now. She just had to see McKayla, try to make her understand how important she was.

  Gwen stepped forward and looked through the glass to see McKayla sitting towards the back, a cup in hand. Taking another fortifying deep breath, Gwen opened the door and slowly walked towards her lost love.

  McKayla looked up when Gwen stopped next to her table. Shock instantly ran over her features. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see you.” Gwen tried to smile but she knew it wasn’t even close. McKayla pushed back from the table. “Please, just let me talk. You don’t have to speak to me at all. Just hear what I have to say. Please. I’m begging you. If you ever felt anything at all for me, let me talk.”