West of the Quator

by Cheryl Bartlam DuBois

  Rob hugged her and promised he’d be back, then he dove off the bow of the boat and swam with everything he had towards shore. For the last few months, Rob had been flirting with life and death and each time death had seemingly caught up with him, he had cheated it by slipping from its grasp. Death had always seemed like such a distant horizon for Rob since he had never given much thought to his own mortality. He had only lost one grandparent so far – his grandmother, who had been old and quite ill for years. At the time it had almost seemed a blessing, even though he missed her. As he swam, Rob cursed the sea that seemed so deter-mined to steal from him, all that he cared about. Rob was starting to realize what might be just on the other side of that unseen horizon as he neared the shore, struggling to pull himself out of the crashing waves before they pounded down onto him or tossed him aside like some sort of jettisoned debris. Suddenly, it seemed that death was like the edge of the earth – out there somewhere on that elusive horizon just waiting for those unsuspecting souls to sail off the edge with little or no warning.

  What he found on the beach that afternoon was almost beyond Rob’s comprehension when he finally climbed and stumbled up the beach, which was now eroded away to the palm trees with an eight foot drop to the water. The ketch sat with its keel in what had once been Grandma’s living room. Rob raced towards what was left of the cottage, screaming and tearing through the wreckage like a rescue worker searching for earthquake victims, waking Christian who slept in the Yellow Submarine just behind the cottage. Christian jumped out of the car and ran to pull Rob away from the rubble. He had been sitting in the front seat of the Yellow Submarine for a day and a half, waiting – hoping Rob and Alex would come back – uncertain if they were dead or alive. He hadn’t seen them sail in since he’d dozed off, having gone a total of three days without sleep.

  “You’ve got to help me,” Rob shrieked as he tore at the rubble, until his hands bled – frantic to find them.

  “Dere’s noting you kin do maun! Dey not dere Mista Rob… dey not tear!”

  Suddenly, Rob realized it was Christian who was pulling him away from the rubble and he turned and grabbed him in his arms, relieved to see he was still alive. “Oh thank God,” he cried.

  “Not to woury yousef none bout me… I be fine,” said Christian unable to look Rob in the eye. “It be Granma and Granpa who need de woury.”

  “Where are they,” demanded Rob, “Are they okay!”

  Christian only shook his head. “Granpa, he be in de h’spital. He not be hurd, bu’ he don’t seam to know’d whur he be. He not all dere,” he said pointing to his head.

  “And Grandma?” questioned Rob frantically, “What about Grandma?”

  Christian shook his head again and lowered his eyes, “Sorry Mista Rob, she not maek it,” he said as he burst into tears crying into Rob’s chest. “I na do my job Mista Rob.” Rob stood frozen – unable to process any of it – unable to move or think as he hugged Christian tightly to his chest. This time the Universe had brought out the big guns. It had pulled out all the stops and it seemed that he was being taught how to live, by being taught how to die, a little bit at a time. A part of him had indeed died on the beach that day – that part of the old Rob who had taken life for granted.

  Christian explained how he had run out into the storm during the eye after Lambchop and Old Henry, and Grandpa had followed – just in time to escape the huge wave that had brought in the ketch which had decimated the cottage. It had been the Yellow Submarine that had saved he and Grandpa. Lambchop had instinctively run for the car which he knew well, and was waiting next to it when Christian and Grandpa caught up with him. Christian opened the door and they all climbed in just as the wave hit. The missing floor boards it seemed, had saved them from being washed out on the receding tide since the car filled with water from underneath instead of floating back out to sea with the wave. The car had however, rolled over a few times, and ended up wedged between two palms trees, where it had stayed the rest of the storm. Miraculously, they had remained unhurt inside the little vehicle where they’d spent the rest of the night as the eye passed and the storm raged on –never realizing what had happened to the cottage.

  Then Christian told Rob about waking up the next morning to see the boat sitting on top of the little house. That’s when Grandpa had snapped. He had lost his lifelong mate, and he wasn’t able to accept the reality of life without her. Christian explained how some guys from a big yacht in the lagoon had helped him to dig out Grandma’s body and get her to the morgue. Grandpa had been taken to the hospital on the French side since the Dutch hospital, for the most part, had been washed away. He was still there resting – under observation.

  Rob looked toward the Yellow Submarine which was buried in sand and debris, and there next to it stood Lambchop and Old Henry – guardians of the little vehicle that had saved their lives.

  Although he thought he’d planned an accurate dead reckoning course, Rob hadn’t even come close to the mark he had estimated he’d be at by this point in his life. He certainly never imagined he’d end up here. Fate had plotted against him –swept him off his course onto a new one. One that had definitely not led him to Paradise. Instead it seemed he had found himself in hell. This time death had snuck up on him and snatched away someone he loved, leaving him totally helpless. Grandma hadn’t stood a chance to get away from the ton of steel and fiberglass, not to mention the wall of water that had come crashing down on her.

  “Whur be Mzz Alic,” asked Christian, concerned for her safety.

  “She’s safe, on the boat. A little beaten up, but she’s okay thank God. We had a rough time, but not as bad as you,” answered Rob gratefully, realizing now just how lucky they’d been. The gravity of their own experience had not really hit him until he had learned of Grandma’s fate. “Alex needs rest,” said Rob, “She took a pretty hard knock on the head. I need to get back out there and tell her.”

  “It be impossible to git de Whaler tru de brege but I get a dinkee from de mareena an I row yew ouut,” said Christian anxiously, relieved to hear that she was okay. “Sari bout de dinkee,” said Christian apologetically, “I’d pud it in de shid lyk you say… bu de wave, it tuk it.”

  “I know,” said Rob shaking his head, “We found it floating south of here. That’s when we saw it. We knew something terrible had happened.”

  Together Rob and Christian sorrowfully walked to the marina to borrow a dinghy and some oars to enable them to get back out to the boat. The devastation in the little village of Cole Bay was frightening. Houses were missing roofs, buildings were flattened, palm trees lay across overturned vehicles, windows were blown from cottages, and water stood in the streets knee deep in some places. It looked like the aftermath of a war – the war that Claire had waged with the island. Unfortunately, the island had lost. When they reached the marina Rob could see that most of the roof was missing from the showroom. The workers were busy cleaning up water, destroyed merchandise, glass, twisted metal siding, neighbors’ patio furniture, and palm fronds. There was even another roof from a house across the way wrapped around what was left of their front entrance. Jeff was relieved to see Rob walk into the store and learn that Alex was also okay. He was more than happy to loan him a rubber inflatable that had somehow been saved from the storm. Jeff looked as tired and harried as Rob, since they had been up for days saving boats and lives, and attempting to save the store. They’d given it their best effort, but once the roof had blown off, they’d given up the fight and crawled into the cistern beneath the building to save their own lives. It seemed that everyone had lived through their own hell the last few days. Rob and Alex’s harrowing experience now seemed small in light of all the devastation sustained by their friends.

  It was getting dark as Rob and Christian rowed across to Snoopy Island and carried the dinghy over the road to launch it in the rough surf of Simpson Bay. It was hard work rowing out to the Island Fever, but Christian was young and strong, and he was used to rowing around the lago
on on any type of floating craft he could get his hands on. Alex was so relieved to see Christian in the dinghy that her heart leapt with joy, hoping that quite possibly they had all gotten to safety. When they arrived at the boat and climbed aboard, Alex stood on the transom – awaiting news. She grabbed Christian and hugged him tight enough to squeeze the wind out of him, giving him a big kiss on each cheek. Although he was a little embarrassed by the physical display of affection, he secretly loved it and he hugged her back. Christian was equally as happy to see her alive and well, as she was of him. Alex and Rob were now his family – the only family he truly had.

  “Are they all right,” Alex asked, her voice quivering as much from excitement at seeing Christian as it was from fear of what their answer might be.

  Rob hugged her, and she knew. “Grandpa’s in the hospital… he’s not hurt… but… Alex… Grandma’s gone. She didn’t have a chance… the boat.

  Alex gasped and her legs gave way underneath her. Rob caught her and pulled her to his chest. He held her tight realizing how close he’d come to losing her too. “I didn’t even get to say good-bye to her,” she choked, “Like my father… he died when I was out sailing. I didn’t get to tell them I loved them,” Alex sobbed into Rob’s shoulder. At that moment Rob knew without a doubt that his heart had come home to live since Alex’s pain felt as if someone had stabbed him in the chest. He was heartbroken – not just for his own loss – but for Alex’s, knowing how much that wise woman had meant to her.

  1*KEDGE ANCHOR — An older traditional style anchor which looks quite like Popeye’s tattoo. Several of these type anchors are known as a Herreschoff, Fisherman, and Yachtsman. This type of anchor is no longer widely used since the development of modern lighter anchors, however, it is a good anchor in a grassy or weedy bottom, or especially in coral.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Life & Death

  “Death only ends life, not love.”

  Ian

  Alex lay on the settee, sedated from the tranquilizers Rob had insisted she take since she was in such as state over Grandma she could hardly stand. Finally, the gravity of what they had been through had hit her and she had broken-down – blaming herself for not seeing Grandma and Grandpa to safety, and for not being there for her father who had died alone. Maybe she could have saved him, if she’d only been there. For the first time since his death, she wept – torrents – enough to fill an ocean it seemed to Rob who sat with her head on his lap stroking her hair.

  Alex should have seen it coming, it was inevitable that the boats in the harbor would end up on the beach, she reasoned. But how could she have known that the storm would come from the west. It didn’t matter. She had still left Grandma and Grandpa’s fate in the hands of a couple of inexperienced sailors foolish enough to believe that they could ride out the storm outside on their moorings.

  All Alex could see was Grandma’s smiling face as she sat on the verandah with a tea cup in her hand and the wisdom of a seer in her eyes. Once again Alex had lost someone she loved as if just the act of her loving someone somehow doomed them to such a fate. First it had been her mother who had given her life simply to give Alex hers, and then it had been the father who had raised her single-handedly – as brave, she thought as a sailor willing to circumnavigate the globe alone. Braver than her, since she had even been afraid to fall in love, let alone raise a child by herself. Her father had loved her mother so much that it broke her heart to think that he had waited patiently eighteen years to be with his wife again, on The Other Side. He knew Alex needed him as she grew into an independent young woman. He had been her life teacher, and he had taught her well. He had armed her with just about everything she would ever need in this lifetime before leaving to rejoin his soulmate – at least everything but this. She knew the day he died that he had only stayed to see her grown and strong enough to take care of herself. Alex had never let herself grieve for him and the pain was almost more than she could bare as she wept for Grandma, her mother, and her father. She missed her father terribly, and now she would miss Grandma. A woman she had trusted – a woman she had confided in. She had been the only woman Alex had ever really known in her life, and Grandma had shown her how to open her heart. She had given her the true gift of life – she had helped her to love again. Alex hadn’t known her mother, nor either of her own Grandmothers who had passed away before she was born. Alex hadn’t even had many girlfriends as a girl growing up since she was such a Tomboy. All her friends had always been boys.

  It had been easy when Alex was alone. She had simply shut the pain out –closed her heart, like she did on the day she sailed away from Annapolis. Like Buddah, she had taken to the road of life alone making the decision that one cannot truly be hurt if one does not get attached – to anything. But, now that she had opened her heart to Rob, and to Grandma, it all came rushing in – like the storm had ravaged the island – it had also ravaged her heart. As Alex fell into a semi-conscious state somewhere between sleep and waking she felt herself drifting outside her body. She was floating above looking down at her physical body with such indifference that she felt she could easily just drift away and break the silver cord that seemed to connect her. She knew she could just let go and the pain would be gone – forever.

  Alex found herself walking in the most beautiful rain-forest she could have ever imagined. So real, she knew she couldn’t be dreaming. There by the waterfall, stood a young woman throwing gardenias into the pool – an attractive woman with golden skin. As Alex approached – the woman turned. It was Grandma – but young, beautiful – no more than thirty. Alex recognized the light in her green eyes immediately and the warmth of her touch as she reached out her hand to her. Then Alex felt an overwhelming sense of love. They spoke but without the need of words. “Don’t blame yourself,” Alex distinctly heard Grandma say to her, “You knew it was my time to go home. You did what you had to. You followed your path and I followed mine. Sorry I had to go out so dramatically, but the Universe works in strange ways, and there’s not much we can do to change the big strokes once we’ve written our course.”

  Alex smiled at her uncertainly. “Am I dead?” Alex asked.

  “No dear, you just came to visit… it’s not your time. You have much more love to live in this lifetime and you’ve only just found the soul whom you’ve waited your whole life for. Don’t be afraid to love with all your heart my dear, it is the purpose for which you exist. If you don’t you’ll die inside.”

  “My parents, are they here?” asked Alex hesitantly, uncertain where here was. She assumed it was The Other Side but Alex never was one to make assumptions without the cold hard facts.

  “Remember… it’s only love that truly matters. And that, I’ll be there whenever you need me.” And then, Grandma was gone. Alex turned and on the hill above was her father – young, radiant, looking only slightly older than he had in his wedding photo. Beside him stood a tall beautiful woman with long golden blonde hair, dressed in pale sky blue to match her vivid blue eyes, not unlike her own – the color her mother had worn the day she had married her father. They smiled at her, and she felt all the love they had for her pour forth like the warmth of a summer’s day. It enveloped her and made her feel safe –the way her father had made her feel when she fell asleep in his arms as a little girl. For the first time she understood the bond between her mother and father – the immense love they held for one another. She understood what Grandma had meant about love. She knew now why they had left her, and she also knew now that they would never leave her.

  Alex felt the lightness slowly disappear – the feeling of the heavy weight of her body returned. Her head ached, but strangely she welcomed the pain, rejoiced in it since she knew that she was alive. Struggling with consciousness, Alex opened her eyes to the man she knew she would spend the rest of her life with.

  “Are you okay?” asked Rob surprised to see her smiling.

  “I couldn’t be better,” answered Alex as she took his hand in hers. “I want
to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Rob smiled, confused but elated knowing finally that she had indeed fallen in love with him. “Will you be my wife,” asked Rob knowing before she spoke what the answer would be.

  “Yes,” she said matter-of-factly. “Yes, I’ll be your wife.”

  Rob smiled and held her – his heart leaping for joy at the thought of Alex’s love for him.”

  Alex smiled. “I spoke with Grandma,” Alex said to Rob. “She’s just fine… so is my father,” Alex said beaming, “He’s with my mother.” Alex waited for Rob’s response not knowing what he would think – had she gone balmy from her bump on the head or would he accept that she had truly seen them – spoken to them as if they’d, been standing right there with her. But, Rob didn’t question the fact that she’d seen them, for a second. After all, he had met me at the top of a swaying mast during a hurricane. Why then couldn’t they still see their loved ones who had passed over.

  Alex had simply had an “out of body experience.”1* She had been lucky enough to cross over to ‘The Other Side’2** to see for herself that she hadn’t been responsible for their demise. They had followed their own dead reckoning course home.

  Rob thought again about meeting me. He still did not know who I really was or from where I’d come – from ‘The Other Side’ he’d assumed. But, where ever I resided, he knew I’d be there for him to see him through to the end – until he’d accomplished what he’d come here to do. For months Rob had questioned the Universe as to why? Why had so many bad things happened to him – what had he done to deserve them? But now Rob suddenly realized that all his experiences – good and bad had happened to him for a reason. They had all led him to wisdom and all that was needed to fulfill his life plan. Rob was here for a reason as was every soul on the planet – he had a divine purpose in the greater plan.