West of the Quator

by Cheryl Bartlam DuBois

  With the money taken care of, Rob and Alex needed to focus on what next. Where was their life to lead them now that they had every possible option open to them that they could imagine, and little or no obligations except to Christian, Lambchop, and Old Henry? In the last 24 hours their lives had taken a 180 degree course correction. Their options were plentiful – they could choose to go anywhere –do just about anything. But as they discussed their future plans they both realized that they wanted the same thing – to go back to the life they’d worked so hard to create. Maybe they would build another boat – maybe they would just cruise the world for a while. Rob had imagined it as a distant dream, but how quickly the gap had closed and he had suddenly found his dream was in reach – there for the taking. After all, they still had Alex’s Dancer, which would afford them a great little cruising cat, even if she wasn’t big enough for charter. In fact, they could cruise a long time with a million dollars in the bank. Wasn’t that what he’d truly wanted Rob thought? Cruise around the islands – around the world – his dream had indeed been dropped right there in his lap. But now that it was real, Rob was uncertain. Could he just drop out – be an unproductive member of no real community? Rob was unsure that he could totally shed his domesticated upbringing and need to fit into the working society –another cog in the wheel of the big machine. But he would work on it. Somehow he was sure he’d find a way to overcome the guilt. But first there were more important considerations. What of his and Alex’s relationship?

  “While we’re in the States I think we should get married,” said Rob out of the blue. “Just a simple wedding. Life is too short and too precious… I don’t want to waste another minute. You just never know what’s in store for you over the next wave do you?” asked Rob, taking Alex’s hand in his.

  “Well I… guess I don’t really need to walk down the isle wearing white. After all, who would give me away?”

  “No one in their right mind,” answered Rob as he tenderly brushed her hair from her face and kissed the back of her hand.

  “With everything that’s happened over the last few days it almost doesn’t feel right being so happy,” said Alex.

  “I want to adopt Christian,” Rob said surprising himself as much as Alex.

  “Adopt him? But he has a father.”

  “One that probably hasn’t even wondered if he’s still alive. He’s a good kid. He needs a chance to make something of himself.”

  “The question is, what would Christian want?”

  “He just wants to be part of a family…. our family,” said Rob smiling at how that sounded.

  Alex snuggled next to him as he wrapped his arm around her and they stared out at the beautiful turquoise ocean – sparkling – like diamonds on the surface of the calm water which had finally given up the struggle and now rolled gently in, lapping its wet tongue onto the shore. They walked the beach with the water racing up around their bare feet. It soaked into the white sand like a sponge, and then trickled back to sea leaving only bubbles where tiny crabs burrowed holes to hide from the sandpipers who zigzagged up the beach chased by the water. The ocean had made peace once again with the world, and like the ocean, Rob had finally learned to give up the struggle. He felt different – lighter – centered – at peace, like the ocean. Rob had finally found his true self even though he’d been stripped of his worldly possessions – his work – his social status – even many of his beliefs. He had shed his ego and his ever calculating mind which had raged like a boulder filled river, and now laid calm like the placid channel which flowed offshore. He had let it all go – everything that had at one time comprised his self-worth. And it had come back to him ten-fold. Rob had found prosperity, but it was not in that bag of money. Rob’s real payoff was that he had learned to finally allow the Universe to participate in the creation of his life instead of struggling to manage it all himself. He had found his true place in the Universe. He was a key part of the giant breathing organism that needed him to make it work. Rob realized that he had finally stopped waiting for life to happen, and had started living it. He soaked in the silence – and in that silence I heard him say, “I haven’t had an opportunity to thank you for what you did out there Ian… and all the other times I’m sure you’ve been there. I hope some day I’ll get an opportunity to know more about you.”

  “In time you will,” I answered, “In time you will.”

  Rob smiled knowing that indeed he would. All the answers would come as he needed them – of that he now was certain. Rob was no longer waiting for them –for the future – he was happy now. Along with his heart – Rob’s happiness had decided to come home.

  1*MANGROVES — A tropical or sub-tropical tree or shrub which grows along coastal areas, estuaries, and swamps. Usually found rooting above the water, the tree boasts numerous tangled aerial roots which embed in the muddy bottom along the waters edge. Whole islands have been formed from thickets of these trees and the accumulation of mud, sand, and debris over time.

  2*INTERPOL — The International Criminal Police Organization – founded in 1923 to serve as a clearing house for police information world-wide – specializing in counterfeiting, smuggling, and drug trafficking.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  Paradise Found

  “Paradise is where I am.”

  Voltaire

  Rob and Alex returned to St. Maarten that afternoon to make arrangements for Christian to stay in Jeff’s back room at the marina, helping him to put the store back together again while they were away. Jeff didn’t hesitate to accept since he had grown to love Christian almost was much as Rob and Alex had. They told Christian of their plan to try and adopt him when they returned. Christian was thrilled – he started counting the days until Rob and Alex would come back to the island – unbeknownst to him, as husband and wife. School was an issue that they’d definitely have to address when they returned. But for now, Christian was content just to be needed by Jeff, and to have the opportunity to play with all the great stuff at the store as they took inventory of what was left. Lambchop and Old Henry became the marina mascots, and even though Lambchop was too large for Christian to take on the windsurfer, he pulled him behind the marina’s Whaler every day on the Hydroslide board.1*

  Rob and Alex flew out the next morning, as planned, on the 9:00 AM flight to San Juan from Grand Case. A the plane circled the little island and headed northwest towards the Virgins, they watched out the window as the seemingly untouched little atoll faded away into the azure blue of the Caribbean.

  Once again – all appeared perfect from the right perspective when one didn’t focus all the of life’s daily problems and its minutia.

  Thirty minutes later they were touching down on American soil – something that had never before seemed important to Alex, but today, made her feel as if she’d finally returned home. Rob checked them into an exclusive resort on the western coast of the island, after they had stopped to purchase two wedding rings and something respectable to wear to a wedding – theirs.

  They stayed on in Puerto Rico for another week, basking in the glow of their happiness. Rob called home and told his mother he was coming for a visit, and that he would be bringing a surprise with him – to set another place for dinner. Rob’s mother had been crushed when Rob had called to tell her his engagement was off, even if she’d never been close to Sydney. She had already started buying baby clothes in hopes of a little granddaughter or grandson to fulfill her life, since Rob had been her only child and destined be their only source of grandchildren.

  When they arrived three days later and she opened the door – Helen knew in an instant that the woman standing on the other side of that threshold was to be her new daughter-in-law. Rob just smiled as the smell of fresh baked pies wafted through the house to greet them. “Mom… this is Alex, my fiance,” he said beaming with pride as he introduced her. “Alex, this is my mother, Helen.”

  Nothing needed to be said, as Helen wrapped her arms around Alex and pulled her close in a wa
rm motherly embrace. Alex knew she’d finally found her family. Grandma it seemed, was not to be the last woman in her life as Helen instantly melted all her fears and apprehensions away of meeting her new in-laws to be. Rob’s dad would be easy – she always knew how to be one of the guys, but she had never felt totally at ease when making new friends with women.

  “Thomas! Come say hi to your son and his beautiful fiance,” Helen shouted with excitement to her husband who sat in his recliner with his feet up, watching Sunday afternoon football. Not much else could have torn him away from his game. Even Helen was amazed at how fast he had made it to the door.

  As Alex stretched out her hand to Rob’s father, Thomas grabbed them both instead and hugged them as if some wish of his had miraculously been granted. His son, it seemed, had finally brought a woman home who wasn’t, in his words, “Store bought.”

  They had an endless string of questions as they sat over Helen’s home-cooked Sunday dinner that took Rob back to his childhood – when he and his mother worked for hours putting up preserves and baking fresh homemade bread and perfecting her recipes. Thomas sat quietly listening to Alex tell the tale of Rob’s miraculous rescue at sea – when she floated adrift helpless in the water at the mercy of the storm. She told them how he’d climbed the mast of the thrashing boat at sea to find her and how he had maneuvered the boat around to save her from certain death. For the first time in Rob’s life, he could see the awe in his father’s eyes – the look of respect that he now held for his son. For the first time in Rob’s life, his father was openly proud of him – proud of a son who he’d never quite seen before as a man. And, for the first time, Rob truly felt like a man in the presense of his father.

  Helen got up to clear the dishes and Alex got up to join her even though Helen resisted her help. Alex had never had a mother to help in the kitchen – she had been the woman of the house when she was growing up with just her father at home. It felt good to wash dishes next to the woman who had given birth to the man she loved, and the woman who had raised him to be the loving man she planned to spend the rest of her life with.

  Rob sat at the table talking to his father – man to man – for the first time in his life. And, he realized that he really liked him – the man inside that hard outer shell that he’d always hid behind. Rob had found a confidence that day in that big ocean that even his father could never diminish. He no longer based his self worth on other’s measures of success for him. He had found success in his failure and in hindsight saw his failure to truly live in his success. He had found peace – he was finally free. Free from the fear of lack, of need, of want. Rob was living life now no longer struggling to make a living. He was living every moment as it came – good or bad. His life was his to do with it what he chose, and he chose to make it the best it could be, instead of discarding the moment for something better in the future. Up until now Rob had been living in the future while identifying with his past. Rob had been obsessed with his need to arrive in Paradise, and the present had only become his ride to get there. Finally, he had awakened to the fact that he was not his ego. He was not that old Rob who had gone to the islands in search of an unfulfilled dream, craving fulfillment and prosperity from the future. He had found his present – his joy – his Paradise. He had given up his pursuit to be happy and it had found him. He had finally realized that Paradise was not a destination resort – it simply was. Rob now realized where the coordinates to Paradise lay. It lay to the north of him and it lay to the south of him –it lay to the east of him and it lay to the west of him – it lay above him and below him – it was always there – where he was, as long as he was fully there, in the moment. Rob had ended his quest for the Holy Grail – he had finally found it within. I had been there all along.

  When the dishes were done, Helen made coffee and asked Rob if he wouldn’t mind going down into the storm cellar to bring up a jar of peach preserves for the warm pastries that she had in the oven. It had been years since Rob had been to the cellar, but he had spent so much time playing there with his cousin Marie when he was a child, that he knew it like the back of his hand. He knew how many steps there were in the dark as he descended the stairs and exactly where the string hung for the overhead light. As he opened the door and started down the steps into the cellar, all the memories of his childhood flooded back to him like the sea returning with the tide. He found the cord and pulled on the light. Then he saw it – there in the corner where it had been stored after Lilly’s house had been torn down – Lilly’s sea-chest. The chest that had so inspired Rob’s imagination as a child. He stared at it more intrigued by it even now than he had been as a wide-eyed boy – still wondering in awe what lay inside.

  Rob thought about his Grandmother Lilly, and how she had been the one to broaden his concept of the world and interest him in something outside of Iowa City. He thought about her stories of her homeland and wondered if she was happy now, where ever she was. He remembered her stories of arriving in New York with only that chest to her name, and how she’d bravely left her homeland alone as a young girl. He remembered the look in Lilly’s eye as she had told them stories about an amazing man she had met, who had sailed out of her life never to return. Rob thought about that chest and wondered after all these years, what was inside. Did it really contain the magic that Rob had always imagined?

  Rob looked around the cellar and easily found the shelf where his mother stored her preserves. Not much had changed over the years. It was amazing how organized and industrious she was since the cellar was always filled with shelves and shelves of canned vegetables and fruits that she spent all summer and fall preparing. The last jar of peach preserves was buried behind several rows of plum and it took some re-arranging for Rob to get to the jar. As he reached to the back of the shelf, his arm just barely brushed his Grandmother’s old piggy bank – a ceramic sailing ship which leap from the shelf as if someone had intentionally sent it crashing to the floor, scattering pennies throughout the cellar. Rob looked down, upset with himself about the mess. But there, nearly hidden by the coins lay an old ornamented skeleton key – like one that fit a piece of furniture, or an old chest – Lilly’s chest – the key to her hidden treasure. Rob stared at it for a moment. For years he had ached to know its contents. And now, entry lay right before him and he wondered what Lilly would think if he breached her secret – the mystery she’d kept locked away all those years. But he had to try it – at least to see if it was indeed the right key. Rob knelt down and picked it up. It was quite possibly the key to the one possession that had meant anything to Lilly. He walked to the chest and knelt before it, nervously. Inserting the key – he looked over his shoulder as if he felt Lilly watching him. It slipped easily into the slot and he effortlessly turned the tumbler in the lock. At long last Lilly’s secret was unlocked – there for him to assuage his curiosity, but still he hesitated. At my prompting, Rob slowly lifted the lid – it was his destiny to be the one to finally learn of the secrets of Lilly’s chest. Somehow he knew that she would have wanted it that way.

  There inside lay scraps of lace, buttons, and photos – mementos of a life long past. And there, in a tray at the top of the chest, lay a bundle of letters tied up with faded yellow ribbon. Instinctively, Rob lifted the brittle parchment envelopes from the tray and turned them over. There on the bottom of the letters was a photo. Rob untied the bundle and lifted the photo into the light so that he might see it more clearly. It was a picture of two men and a woman standing arm-in-arm in front of the Statue of Liberty. The young woman was his Grandmother, Lilly, looking close to the age of her wedding photo with Canton that had always sat on their bureau. Oddly, the two men in the photo looked Mulatto. In fact – Rob looked closer – the one on Lilly’s right looked like a younger Grandpa. Rob shook his head knowing that the odds of his Grandmother knowing Grandpa Stanley were almost impossible, but there it was in black and white right there in front of him. And, the man on her left looked like a slightly older version of Grandpa, yet tal
ler. Could this be Itchy Rob thought – puzzled that his present and his Grandmother’s past could have been one and the same. Had she known the man he’d come to know and love as Grandpa – his profit and his teacher? Could Lilly have been Ichy’s ‘Dark-Eyed Woman?’

  Rob opened the last postmarked letter and started to read the words written more than six decades before – read the words of a man called Itchy whose love would traverse an ocean to be with his true love once again, and his child that she carried. He would return to New York on the full moon and take her to his homeland of Grenada, where their child could grow and thrive in the sun and learn to be a sailor like his father and his father before him. But, as Rob well knew, Itchy never made it back to New York – instead he’d died there in the ocean that had been his first love. Lilly, was never to learn of his fate – why he’d never returned for her, and Itchy was never to know in that life, that the son that she carried was indeed a little girl – Rob’s mother, Helen. After waiting at the docks every afternoon for two full moons, Lilly had gone that day to the Empire State Building to find herself a husband. The rest was history – the history of Rob’s family with much left unwritten, since Lilly was never to tell her husband that Helen was not his real daughter. Not even when she’d arrived two months early. Lilly had died before her husband taking her secret with her to the grave, and now Canton was living out his life in the next county with his mother’s younger brother, none the wiser.

  Rob read the letter twice again then looked at the photo of the three who had never known of the other’s fate, since Lilly left New York before Grandpa’s letter had arrived. Grandpa it seemed was Rob’s real Grandfather’s brother. Rob looked in the mirror in the lid of the chest – now he could see the resemblance. He looked more closely at the photo of the man he’d just discovered to be his real Grandfather and turned it over. There, on the back inscribed in Lilly’s hand – “Stanley, Lilly, and Ian (Itchy) – May 1st, 1939.