The Cat Who Walked Through Walls

by Robert A. Heinlein

  "Nothing. But must take care of Pixel."

  "We'll put his saucers in the 'fresher, shut him in, let him out later."

  So we did, and went to bed, and it was wonderful, and the details are none of your business.

  Sometime later Hazel said, "We've been joined."

  "We still are."

  "I mean, 'We have company.'"

  "So I noticed. He climbed on my shoulder blades way back when, but I was busy and he weighs almost nothing, so I didn't mention it. Can you grab him and keep him from being rolled on and crushed while I get us untangled?"

  "Yes. No hurry about it. Richard, you're a good boy. Pixel and I have decided to keep you."

  "Just try to get rid of me! You can't. Love, you phrased something oddly. You said it was 'thirty-seven Tertian days here.'"

  She looked up at me soberly. "It was longer than that for me, Richard."

  "I wondered. How long?"

  "About two years. Earth years."

  "I be goddam!"

  "But, dear, while you were ill, I did come home every day. Thirty-seven times I came to your hospital room in the morning, exactly as I promised. You recognized me every time, too, and smiled and seemed happy to see me. But of course the Lethe field made you forget every moment even as it happened. Each evening I went away again, and came back later that evening, having been gone, on the average, about three weeks each time. The schedule wasn't difficult for me, but Gay Deceiver made two trips every evening, with either the double twins or Hilda's crew making the runs. Let me up now, dear; I have the Pixel cat safe."

  We rearranged ourselves comfortably. "What were you doing, gone so much?"

  "Time Corps field work. Historical research." "I guess I still don't understand what the Time Corps does. Couldn't you have waited a month, then both of us could have done it, together? Or do I have my head on backwards?"

  "Yes and no. 1 asked for the assignment. Richard, I've been trying to trace down what happens after you and 1 tackle rescuing Adam Selene. Mike the computer."

  "And what did you learn?" "Nothing. Not a damn thing. We can find only two time lines from that event-it's a cusp event; you and I created both futures. I searched the following four centuries on both lines-on Luna, down dirtside, several colonies and habitats. They all say either that we succeeded... or that we tried and died ... or they don't mention us at all. The last is the usual case; most historians don't believe that Adam Selene was a computer."

  "Well... we're no worse off than we were before. Are we?"

  "No. But I had to look. And I wanted to check it out before you woke up. Out from under the Lethe field, I mean."

  "Do you know, small person, I think well of you. You are considerate of your husband. And of cats. And of other people.

  Uh- No, none of my business." "Speak up, beloved, or I tickle."

  "Don't threaten me. I'll beat you." "At your own risk-I bite. Look, Richard, I've been waiting for the question. This is the first time we've been alone. You want to know how homy old Hazel stuck it out in faithful chastity for two aching years. Or rather, you don't believe she did but you are too polite to say so."

  "Why, damn your eyes! Look, my love, I'm a Loonie, with Loonie values. Love and sex are ruled by our ladies; we men accept their decisions. That's the only happy arrangement. If you want to boast a bit, go ahead. If not, let's change the subject. But don't accuse me of groundhog vices."

  "Richard, you are your most infuriating when you are being your most reasonable."

  "Do you want me to quiz you?"

  "It would be polite."

  'Tell me three times."

  "'I tell you three times and what I tell you three times is true.'"

  "You peeked in the back of the book. All right, I'll cut to the chase. You are a member of the Long Family. No?"

  She caught her breath. "What caused you to say that?"

  "I don't know. I truly don't because it's been many little things no one of which meant anything and mostly did not stick in my mind. But sometime this evening, while talking with Jake, I found that I was taking it for granted. Am I mistaken?"

  She sighed. "No, you're right. But I did not intend to load it onto you just yet. You see, I'm on leave of absence from the Family, not a member of it right now. And that was not what I intended to confess."

  "Wait a second. Jake is one of your husbands."

  "Yes. But remember, I'm on leave."

  "For how long?"

  "Till death do us part! I promised you that in the Golden Rule. Richard, histories show that you and I were married at the time of the cusp event... so I asked the Family for a divorce ... and settled for a leave of absence. But it might as well be final-they know it, I know it. Richard, I was here every night, every Tertian night I mean-thirty-seven times... but I never slept with the Family. I- Usually I slept with Xia and Choy-Mu. They were good to me." She added, "But not once with a Long. Not any of them, male or female. I was faithful to you, in my own fashion."

  "I don't see why you needed to deprive yourself. Then you are one of Lazarus Long's wives, too. On leave, but his wife.

  That omery old curmudgeon! Hey! Is it possible that he is jealous of me? Hell, yes, it's not only possible but likely. Certain! He's not a Loonie; he is not conditioned to accept 'Lady's Choice.' And he comes from a culture in which jealousy was the commonest mental disorder. Of course! Why, the silly bastich!" "No, Richard." "In a pig's eye." "Richard, Lazarus got all the jealousy leached out of him many generations ago... and I've been married to him thirteen years with plenty of chance to judge. No, dear, he's worried. He's worried about me and he's worried about you-he knows how dangerous it is-he's worried about all the Family and all of Tertius. Because he knows how dangerous the multiverse is. He's devoting his life and all of his wealth to trying to make his people safe."

  "Well... I wish he could be a little more urbane about it.

  Mannerly. Polite."

  "So do I. Here, take the kitten; I gotta pee. Then I vote for some sleep."

  "Me, too. Both. My, it feels good to get out of bed and stroll to the jakes without having to hop."

  We had cuddled up together, lights out, her head on my shoulder and the kitten wandering around the bed somewhere, both of us about to sleep, when she murmured, "Richard.

  Forgot... Ezra-"

  "Forgot what?" "His legs. When... he first walked on them... with crutches.

  Three days ago I think... 'bout three months back for me. Xia 'n' I congratulated Ezra... horizontally."

  "The best way."

  'Took him to bed. Wore him out."

  "Good girls. What else is new?"

  She seemed to have dropped off to sleep. Then she barely muttered. "Wyoming."

  "What, dear?" "Wyoh, my daughter. Little girl playing in fountain... you

  'member?"

  "Yes, yes! Yours? Oh, grand!"

  "Meet'r... 'n morning. Named for... Mama Wyoh. Lazarus-"

  "She's a daughter of Lazarus?"

  "Guess so. Ishtar says. Cer'nly had lots... opportunity."

  I tried to picture the child's face. A pixie, with bright red hair. "Looks more like you."

  Hazel did not answer. Her breathing was slow and even.

  I felt paws on my chest, then a tickle on my chin. "Blert?"

  "Quiet, baby; Mama's sleeping."

  The kitten settled down, went to sleep himself. So I finished the day as I had begun it, with a baby cat asleep on my chest.

  It had been a busy day.

  XXVII

  "It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards."

  CHARLES LUTWIDGE DODGSON 1832-1898

  "Gwendolyn my love." Hazel stopped with a teethclean in hand, looked startled.

  "Yes, Richard?"

  "This is our first anniversary. We must celebrate." "I'm quite willing to celebrate but I can't figure out your arithmetic. And celebrate how? A fancy breakfast? Or back to bed?"

  "Both. Plus a special treat. But eat first. As for my arithmet
ic, attend me. It is our anniversary because we have been married exactly a week. Yes, I am aware that you think of it as two years-"

  "I do not! Doesn't count. Like time spent in Brooklyn." "And you tell me that I have been here thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine days, more or less. But it is not thirty-nine days to me, Gwen Hazel, as Allah will not subtract from my allotted time those days spent in the Lethe field, so I don't count them. Hell, I wouldn't believe in them if it weren't that I now have two feet-"

  "You're complaining?"

  "Oh, no! Except that I now have to cut twice as many toenails-"

  "Blert!"

  "What do you know about it? You don't have toenails; you have claws. And you scratched me in the night, you did. Yes, you did-don't look innocent. Monday evening the thirtieth of June-of 2188, it was, though I'm not sure what year it is here-we went to see the Halifax Ballet Theater with Luanna Pauline as Titania."

  "Yes. Isn't she lovely?"

  "Wasn't she! Past tense, dear. If what I've been told is true, her ethereal beauty has been dust for more than two thousand years. Rest in peace. Then we went to Rainbow's End for a late supper and a total stranger had the bad taste to get himself abruptly dead at our table. Whereupon you raped me."

  "Not at the table!"

  "No, in my bachelor's apartment."

  "And it wasn't rape."

  "We need not fight over it since you repaired my tarnished reputation before noon the next day. Our wedding day, my true love. Mistress Gwendolyn Novak and Dr. Richard Ames announced their marriage on Tuesday the first of July, 2188. Keep track of that date."

  "I'm not likely to forget it!"

  "Me, too. That evening we got out of town fast, with the sheriff's hounds a-snappin' and a-yappin' at our heels. We slept that night in Dry Bones Pressure. Right?"

  "Right so far."

  "The next day, Wednesday the second, Gretchen drove us to Lucky Dragon Pressure. We slept that night in Dr. Chan's place. The following day, Thursday the third. Auntie drove us toward Hong Kong Luna, but not all the way because we encountered those eager agrarian reformers. You drove the rest of the way and we wound up at Xia's hotel so late at night that it was hardly worthwhile to go to bed. But we did. That puts us into Friday the fourth of July. Independence Day. Check?"

  "Check."

  "We were roused out-I was roused out; you were already up-I was roused out too soon late Friday morning.., and learned that City Hall did not like me. But you and Auntie sprung me-sprang me?-sprung me ... and we left for Luna City so fast I left my toupee hanging in the air."

  "You don't wear a toupee." "Not anymore, I don't; it's still hanging there. We arrived L-City circa sixteen hundred that same Friday. You and I had a difference of opinion-"

  "Richard! Please don't dig up my past sins." "-which was soon cleared up as I saw the error of my ways and craved pardon. We slept that night at the Raffles; it was still Friday the fourth of July when we went to bed. We had started that day many klicks west of there, with freedom fighters getting gay with guns. Still with me?"

  "Yes. Somehow in my memory it feels much longer." "A honeymoon is never long enough and we're having a busy one. The next morning, Saturday the fifth, we retained Ezra, then we went to the Warden's Complex... came back and were waylaid at the entrance to the Raffles. So we left the Raffles hurriedly, in a cloud of corpses, escaping by courtesy of Gay Deceiver and the Time Corps. Most briefly we were in the land of my innocent youth, loway where the tall corn grows. Then we blinked to Tertius. Beloved, at this point my groundhog calendar becomes useless. We left Luna Saturday evening the fifth; we arrived here in Tertius a few minutes later, so for our purposes I designate the Tertian day of our arrival as equivalent to Saturday, five July, 2188, and I so name it. Never mind what Tertian citizens call it; it would only confuse me. Still with me?" "Well... all right." "Thank you. I woke up the next morning-Sunday July sixth-with two feet. For Tertius the lapse of time was, I concede, thirty-seven days. You tell me that for you it was about two years, a most unlikely story-I'd rather believe in unicorns and virgins. For Gretchen it was five or six years, which I am forced to stipulate because she is now eighteen or nineteen and knocked up; I have to believe it. But for me it was just over one night, Saturday to Sunday.

  "That 'Sunday' night I slept with Xia, Gretchen, Minerva, Galahad, Pixel, and possibly Tom, Dick, and Harry and their sheilas Agnes, Mabel, and Becky."

  "Who are they? The girls, I mean; I know those boys. Too well."

  "You poor, sweet, innocent child; you are too young to know. Surprisingly I slept well. Which brings us to yesterday, designated by strict numbering as Monday July seventh. Last night we spent catching up on our honeymoon... and thank you bolshoyeh, mistress mine."

  "You are welcome, sirrah. But the pleasure was shared. I now see how you arrived at that date. Both by dirtside calendar and your biological clock-the basic clock, as every timejump-er knows-today is Tuesday the eighth of July. Happy Anniversary, darling!"

  We stopped to swap some spit and Hazel cried and my eyes got watery.

  Breakfast was swell. That's all the description I can give it because Gwen Hazel decided to treat me to Tertian cooking and consulted with Dora under a hushfield, and I et what was sot before me, as the Iowa farmer had carved on his tombstone. And so did Pixel, who had some specials that looked like garbage to me but tasted like ambrosia to him, as proved by his behavior.

  We had just finished our second cups of-no, it was not coffee-and were about to slip over to the Long mansion for my "special treat," i.e., for me to meet my new daughter, Wyoming Long... when Dora spoke up:

  "Advisory notice: Time line, date, time, and location. Official. Please prepare to set your timepieces on the tick." Hazel looked surprised, hurriedly grabbed her handbag, dug into it, pulled out a something I had not seen before. Call it a chronometer. "We are in a stationary orbit around Tellus, Sol in, in time line three, coded 'Neil Armstrong.' The date is Tuesday the first of July-"

  "My God! We're back where we started! Our wedding day!"

  "Quiet, dear! Please!"

  "-Gregorian. Repeat: Time line three, Sol ID, July first, 2177 Gregorian. At the tick it will be zone five, oh nine forty-five. Tick! Those equipped to receive sonic close correction, wait for the tone-"

  It started with a low note and squealed on up until it hurt my ears. Dora added: "Another time tick and sonic correction will be offered in five minutes, ship's time or Tellus zone five time, which are now matched for local legal time designated 'daylight time' for interception point on this time line. Hazel hon, private to you."

  "Yes, Dora?" "Here are Richard's shoes-" (Plunk, they hit the bed. Out of nowhere.) "-and his other two suits-" (Plop.) "-and I packaged the small clothes and stockings with them. Shall I add a couple of jumpsuits? I took Richard's measurements while you slept. These aren't washables; these are Hercules cloth, won't take dirt, can't wear out."

  "Yes, Dora, and thank you, dear. That's thoughtful of you.

  I hadn't yet bought him anything but city clothes."

  "I noticed." (Plop-another package.) Dora went on, "We've been loading and unloading all night. The last of the stragglers left at oh nine hundred but I told Captain Laz about your anniversary breakfast, so she refused to let Lazarus disturb you. Message from Lazarus: If it suits your convenience, will both of you kindly get off your dead duffs and report to THQ. End of message. Transmission from the bridge, live":

  "Hazel? Captain Laz speaking. Can you two leave the ship by ten hundred? I told my hard-nosed brother that ten was the departure time he could expect."

  Hazel sighed. "Yes. We'll leave for the car pocket at once."

  "Good. Felicitations to both of you from me and Lor and Dora. Many happy returns of the day! It has been a pleasure to have you aboard."

  We were at the car pocket with two minutes to spare, me loaded with packages and cat, and getting used to new shoes- well, one old, one new. I learned that the "car pocket" referred to our old friend Ga
y Deceiver; the end of a short passage led right into her starboard door. Again I missed seeing those spacewarp bathrooms; Hazel's grandsons piloted us, and we were told to take the back seats. Pol got out to let us get in.

  "Hi, Grandma! Good morning, sir."

  I said good morning and Hazel kissed both her grandsons in passing, no seconds lost, and we settled down and strapped in. Cas called out, "Report seat belts."

  "Passengers' seat belts fastened," Hazel reported.

  "Bridge! Ready for launch."

  Laz answered, "Launch at will."

  Instantly we were out in the sky and weightless. Pixel started to struggle; I caged him with both hands. I think it was weightlessness that startled him... but how could he tell? He didn't weigh anything to start with.

  Earth was off to starboard, apparently full, although one can't tell that close up. We were opposite the middle of North America, which told me that Laz was a more than competent pilot; had we been in the usual twenty-four-hour orbit, concentric with Earth's equator, we would have been over the equator at ninety west, i.e., over the Galapagos Islands. I guessed that she had selected an orbit tilted at about forty degrees and timed for ten hundred ship's time-and made a mental note to check it later, if and when I ever got a look at the ship's log.

  (A pilot can't help second-guessing every other pilot; it's an occupational disease. Sony.)

  Then we were suddenly in atmosphere, down thirty-six-thousand klicks in a tick. Gay spread her wings, Cas tilted her nose down, then leveled off, and we again had weight, at one gee-and Pixel liked this change still less. Hazel reached over and took Pixel, soothed him; he quieted down-I think he felt safer with her.

  With her wings raked in for hypersonic, the only way I had seen her. Gay is mostly a lifting body. With her wings spread, she has lots of lift area and she glides beautifully. We were a thousand meters up, give or take, and over farm country on a fine summer day-clear, save for anvil cumuli here and there on the horizon. Glorious! A day to feel young again-