by Coleen Kwan
She gave him a nervous smile. “Hi, hope I haven’t come at a bad time.”
“Nah, we’re only about an hour behind schedule. Not a bad time at all.” His fingers curled around her wrist, tugging her towards him. “Did you have a good time in Newcastle? Got yourself all primped up?” He lifted her hand to examine her manicured fingernails. “Nice colour.”
The warm roughness of his fingers distracted her thoughts. “It’s watermelon red,” she replied and then wondered at her inanity.
“Delicious. Come upstairs, I want to show you something.”
She allowed him to lead her up the stairs, hyperaware of the hairs of his arm brushing against her sensitised skin. The room above the restaurant was normally used to store excess furniture or tins of oil, but now it had been transformed into a private dining room. The walls were freshly painted, the floor sanded and polished, the tables and chairs brand new. There were modern couches, coffee tables, and a stereo system, all providing an airy and relaxing space for a private party. In the centre of the room a table was already laid for five.
“For your birthday dinner this evening,” Dion said. “I thought it would be nicer to have your table up here than downstairs with all the other diners.”
Her throat tightened at his thoughtfulness. “Thanks, Dion. You think of everything, and I know how busy you are …”
“Not so busy I haven’t been thinking of you all day.” He pressed his hands to her waist, his grip light yet possessive. “I’ve come up with a special menu for you tonight, and the piece de resistance is dessert.” He brushed his lips against her cheek. “But it’ll be a very private dessert back at my house. Just the two of us.”
The lure of his body was too much. She slid her hands over his chef’s whites, admiring how the jacket accentuated his shoulders. Closing her eyes, she breathed in his scent. At the moment he smelled of onions. Strange how sexy onions could smell if the aroma was on the right body.
His lips inched towards her mouth. “Sweetie, I can’t wait to get you alone tonight.”
The raggedness in his voice almost dragged her under but just in time she snapped back to reality. Bracing her palms against his chest, she wedged a little distance between them.
“Dion, I’ve been thinking.”
He gazed down at her, his chocolate eyes growing wary. “Hmm, this doesn’t sound too good.”
“I think we got too carried away last night.” She took a deep breath and plunged on, “My dad saw me sneaking into my bedroom this morning, and Uncle Shen told him about you oversleeping and missing the fish market, and now my parents know about us, and I’m so sorry, Dion. I never meant to cause you so much trouble. I didn’t–”
“Wait a minute.” His fingers gripped her waist tighter. “Let me get this straight. Your parents know you slept with me last night and now they’re blaming you for me not waking up in time?” She nodded. “That’s bloody ridiculous!” He let go of her to wipe the back of his hand across his upper lip. “How typical of my dad to run around trumpeting my faults.”
“I don’t know if he was trumpeting–”
“Of course he was. He can’t wait for me to screw up.”
The bitterness in Dion’s expression made her heart ache. “Dion, that’s not true. Why would he agree to you running the restaurant if he thought that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe my mother pestered him until he gave in. But the truth is, he doesn’t trust me, and now he’s infecting your father with his lack of faith.”
“No, my father believes in you. He does.”
“But he still thinks I’m easily distracted by a pretty face.”
“I feel terrible, Dion. I shouldn’t have–”
His eyes burned into her. “You’re regretting last night just because I overslept? That’s a bit facile.”
She stiffened her back, lifted her chin. “No, I regret last night because I didn’t think enough about the consequences.”
“I liked it that you didn’t think too much about the consequences.” A very different kind of heat flared in his eyes. “I like it that you allowed yourself to get carried away by the heat of the moment. You were so wonderful, so uninhibited, so free. I’d never seen you like that before. You were happy, I know you were.”
She couldn’t deny it or hide from it. “Yes,” she gulped, “but these things don’t happen in a vacuum. Last night was incredible, but where does that lead us?”
A faint frown appeared on his brow. “I don’t understand. Why does it have to lead us anywhere?”
The knot deep in her abdomen snarled. She’d known all along Dion was only interested in a casual relationship, but hearing confirmation from his own lips made her insides shrivel.
“I’m going back to Sydney tomorrow,” she said, the effort of making herself sound composed bringing beads of perspiration to her nape. “I’m determined to get a job there, and once I do, I don’t suppose I’ll get back here more than once a month, tops. I don’t want you thinking we have some kind of ‘friends with benefits’ deal going on.”
Blank confusion flickered across his face. “Friends with benefits?”
She sighed impatiently. Surely he knew what that phrase meant? “I’m not going to sleep with you every time I come to Piper Bay.”
He stared at her, astonished. “You’re not?”
“No! I – I’m not like that. My life is in Sydney–”
“You keep saying that, as if I’ve been trying to convince you otherwise.” He frowned in frustration. “Have I ever tried to talk you into staying here? No, never. I know you’re going back to Sydney. You don’t have to keep rubbing it in. Your life is somewhere else. I got that ages ago. What I didn’t realise is that you don’t want to sleep with me again. Is that right?”
His biceps were straining against his jacket, while his face had turned a little grey. She swallowed, hating herself for hurting him. Her father had been right to criticise her. “It’s not just you and me, Dion. There are other people involved. Our parents are so connected. Whatever we do affects them too.”
He stuck his jaw out, his eyes flashing. “I don’t agree with you. This is between you and me, no-one else, but you’re too scared to admit it.” The end of his mouth curled in derision. “You always have to do the right thing. For once in your life why don’t you have the guts to rebel?”
“Get stuffed, Dion.”
“Huh, you can’t even say ‘fuck off’, can you? Can’t bring yourself to swear even when there’s no-one around.”
A flood of tears stung her throat. Even Nick’s infidelity hadn’t left her feeling so bereft, but she’d be damned if she cried in front of Dion. She tilted her chin higher. “You’re just as immature as always,” she retorted, forcing the words through her aching throat. “Just as well I’m leaving tomorrow. I need a long break from you.”
She swung to go, but he caught her elbow. “Wait.” When she looked back, the strain on his ashen face made her pause. Letting her go, he pressed his fingertips against the bridge of his nose for a few moments, obviously trying to regain his self-control. “I didn’t mean that last bit. That was immature.” He rubbed his face viciously, dragging his fingers over his head several times. “I don’t want us to part on angry terms. We have dinner with our parents tonight. Can we at least be friends just for one night?”
The tears threatened again, but she swallowed then back. “I’ll always be your friend, Dion.”
His eyes dulled, growing strangely red-rimmed. “Yeah?”
She nodded, too choked to speak.
He let out a small sigh, his shoulders drooping. “Okay.” He wiped his mouth then rested hands on hips, his eyes lowered. “Good.” He cleared his throat several times. “I’ll be honest with you. I’m disappointed we won’t be having sex any more, but I’m glad we can still be friends. That’s more important.”
“Uh-huh,” she managed to get out.
Yes, no matter what arguments they had, they would always be friends, but even as she ackno
wledged that, emptiness yawned inside her, and she realised she wanted more from Dion. More than friendship, more than casual sex, more than he was ready or capable of giving to her. She wanted love, commitment, a lifetime of shared laughter and tears. She wanted everything of him and then some. She wanted more than she had a right to ask of him.
After Toni had gone, Dion remained in the private dining room. He pulled out a chair and sank onto it, bending forward to wrap his arms around his chest, forcing himself to breathe in and out slowly. This wasn’t what he’d expected when Toni had walked into the kitchen. Why was she so determined to push him away? Did she think he would hurt her the way Nick had done? He hadn’t handled the situation very well. Jeez, he’d never found himself in such a situation before.
From the kitchen below a dropped pot clanged on the floor. He needed to get back there. He didn’t have time to mope around and nurse his rejection. Wiping his face, he made himself stand. He flexed his shoulders, ignoring the ache in his ribs, and marched downstairs.
Gary glanced up at him as he re-entered the kitchen. Dion grabbed the box of cucumbers he’d fetched earlier and dumped it on Gary’s bench.
“You need to get these done too,” he said, dead-pan.
Gary continued to study him, his knife moving automatically through the vegetables on his cutting board. “You okay?”
Dion scowled at him and turned away to the opposite bench where he began to clean a tray of squid. For a while there was silence between them. Gary started to whistle.
“Mind cutting that out?” he snapped, yanking at a squid beak.
Gary stopped whistling. “Sorry.”
The silence grew heavier. Dion sighed. “No, I’m sorry. I just … got a lot on my mind at the moment.”
Gary made a sympathetic noise. “Women, huh?”
“So you noticed.”
“Couldn’t help noticing. When Toni walked in the door your face lit up like a candle. I’m surprised you didn’t sprout a puppy tail to wag at her.”
Dion grimaced. If anything he felt as if his puppy tail had been chopped off. “Got my hopes up for nothing. She only came by to tell me there’s no future for us. She’s going back to Sydney tomorrow.” He gripped the skin of the squid, ripped it off, his fingers clenching. “Probably won’t see her for months.” A black weight settled in the pit of his gut.
Gary had turned round and was watching him closely. “Shit, I’ve never seen you like this before. You must really care about her.”
“Of course I bloody care about her.” Tossing the squid skin away, he glared at his friend. “She’s the only one I’ve ever cared about.”
“Oh.” Gary appeared nonplussed. Dion didn’t blame him – his attitude towards women had always been casual, and he’d never spoken about Toni, until now. For years he’d bottled up his true feelings, but now there didn’t seem much point.
“I realised how I felt about her years ago,” he said, laying down his knife to face Gary. “But she was already involved with Nick, and then she married the bastard, and I thought well, that’s it, suck it up and move on. But now she’s free again, and I thought – really thought – I had a chance with her. But it seems not. She’s determined we’re just going to remain friends.” He pressed the heels of his hands to his temples as a dull headache began to pound.
“Wow, and you’re just going to take that lying down?”
Dion dropped his hands. “Huh?”
“Mate, the trouble with you is that you’ve had it too easy as far as women are concerned. You’ve never had to fight for one.”
“Yeah, I’m sure she’d appreciate it if I heaved her over my shoulder and carried her into my bedroom like a caveman. That’d go down like a ton of bricks.”
“You know her better than anyone. You must know some way to get your message across. Just don’t give up. Keep on fighting for her, if you think she’s worth it.”
Gary was right. Just because Toni had pulled away from him didn’t mean the end. He’d loved her for too long to give up now.
Chapter 7
Dion’s parents were already present when Toni and her parents arrived at the Happy Palace’s private dining room.
“Happy birthday.” Aunt Queenie swooped in and hugged Toni before pressing a gift into her hands. “This is for you, from your Uncle Kai and me.”
Uncle Kai patted her shoulder and smiled as she thanked them both. She hadn’t expected a birthday present from them, and when she unwrapped a silver bracelet she was even more surprised. The simple yet elegant piece of jewellery wasn’t something she could envisage Aunt Queenie – who loved her gold, jade, and pearls, preferably all in the same piece of jewellery – choosing.
“Oh, it’s gorgeous,” Toni said as she slipped on the bracelet and showed it to her parents.
Aunt Queenie beamed at her. “You like it? Dion help me pick it out last week. He knows what you like better than anyone.”
“He does.” Toni’s cheeks warmed. Hell, she hadn’t realised it would be this awkward, chatting to Dion’s mum and dad as if nothing unusual had happened. She’d slept with their son last night. Did they know that? She was willing to bet they didn’t, or she was sure they’d be looking at her differently. And she was convinced her parents wouldn’t have told them anything. It wasn’t the kind of news they’d like to share with their oldest and closest friends.
Pearl lifted Toni’s hand to examine the bracelet more closely. “Very nice.” She nodded with approval.
Uncle Kai was muttering with Toni’s dad. “Maybe I should check the kitchen,” he said.
Shen restrained his friend. “No, Dion can manage on his own.”
Uncle Kai continued to frown. “I just want to help him.”
“Wait until he asks first.”
“But he–”
Aunt Queenie rounded on her husband. “Not again. Why can’t you leave Dion alone?”
Uncle Kai huffed and tugged at the cuffs of his shirt. “He needs–”
“He needs you to trust him.” His wife pressed her lips together, looking uncharacteristically determined.
Before anyone could speak, footsteps sounded on the stairs, and Dion appeared, spruce in his chef’s jacket and black trousers, his demeanour smooth and collected.
“Evening everyone.” His gaze wandered around the room, passing over Toni without a flicker. “Why aren’t you seated yet? Dinner is about to be served.”
There was a general movement towards the table. When everyone was seated, Dion remained standing between his parents’ chairs.
“Dion.” His mother plucked at his sleeve. “Toni really like the bracelet you choose for her.”
His eyes met hers across the table. For a moment it seemed he was really looking at her this time, but he answered blandly, “I’m glad. I hope you like the dishes I’ve chosen for tonight as well. They’ll start arriving in a few minutes.” Without waiting for a reply, he disappeared down the stairs.
Toni released her breath. She didn’t know whether to be disappointed or glad that Dion appeared to have put everything they’d said earlier behind him. Evidently he’d gotten over his disappointment that they wouldn’t be sleeping together again pretty quickly and was satisfied they could still remain friends. If only she could get over it with the same equanimity.
Soon the waiter brought up the appetizers, small tasting dishes of delicate morsels. There was crispy tofu, pickled vegetables, and short soup with Dion’s special won tons in a clear broth. Toni breathed in the familiar aromas and felt some of the tension that had knotted her insides all day slip a little. These were some of her favourite dishes from her childhood, she realised, yet Dion had added his own twist to each of them, so they were at once familiar and yet different.
His culinary creativity continued with the main dishes. Barbequed pork, roast duck, steamed fish. All were dishes she’d eaten countless times before, dishes she’d longed for in the depths of her homesickness while sticking it out in London, dishes she’d miss when she lef
t Piper Bay. Did Dion know what he was doing to her? Did he know that from now on all her favourite food would remind her not only of home, but of him?
The others were too busy clucking together to notice how little she was eating. “See, he can manage,” her father said to Uncle Kai. “This fish is excellent. Perfectly cooked.”
“It’s not bad,” Uncle Kai grudgingly conceded. “He would have got fresher one if he woke on time this morning.”
“What’s this?” His wife slid him a suspicious look. “You check up on Dion this morning?”
Uncle Kai heaved a sigh. “Yes,” he admitted. “I want to make sure he get up,” he added defensively. “He was still sleeping at nine-thirty!”
“Hmm. You only tell me now.” Aunt Queenie swivelled to Toni’s mother. “He always go behind my back.” Toni’s mother glanced about and fiddled with her chopsticks, making non-committal noises. Aunt Queenie leaned towards her. “You know about this already? Wah, you should have told me!”
At that moment Dion walked into the room. His mother beckoned him over urgently. “Dion, Dion. I hear you couldn’t wake up this morning. Are you sick? You shouldn’t work if you’re sick.”
“I’m fine, Mum.” He straightened, his shoulders stiff as he eyed everyone at the table. “And before anyone says anything, it was all my fault I didn’t wake up. Toni had nothing to do with it.”
His parents gaped at him, then turned towards Toni as one, their mouths still open. Her heart sank to her toes. Oh, Dion, you didn’t have to say that, did you? At the same time the realisation dawned on him too, making his eyes darken in dismay.
“What did you and Toni get up to last night?” Uncle Kai asked, still bewildered.
Cheeks flushed with embarrassment, Aunt Queenie nudged him in the ribs. “Ah Kai, you don’t have to ask. Can’t you guess?”
Uncle Kai blinked at her. “Oh …” Comprehension finally broke over him.
As they stared at Toni, a bead of sweat rolled down her spine. Her face felt as if it had caught fire.
“It just happen one time,” Pearl jumped in. “Don’t worry so much.”
