by Coleen Kwan
Aunt Queenie’s eyes boggled. “You know already? And you don’t tell me?” Her voice squeaked.
Flustered, Pearl flapped her hands. “It’s Shen’s fault. He saw her and Dion this morning, and he didn’t tell me.”
Uttering a drawn-out groan, Uncle Kai clenched his fists on the table and lowered his head to his chest as if he was in great pain. Aunt Queenie started to exclaim, but before she could gather steam, Dion moved forward and rapped his knuckles on the table.
“Look, this is getting out of control,” he said. “I’m sorry about that, Toni.” He gave her a brief, wry smile. “I thought they all knew already. I didn’t know I was letting the cat out of the bag.” He turned back to the others. “But the fact remains that whatever Toni and I did last night is private and has nothing to do with what happened this morning.”
“But Dion, it does,” Toni felt compelled to speak out. “If we hadn’t, um, stayed up so late–” the fire in her cheeks intensified “–you would have woken up in time to go to the fish market. It is my fault.”
“How can it be when I wanted you to stay with me last night? I don’t regret that for a moment.” His eyes held hers. “Yes, it was slack of me to oversleep, but all that demonstrated was my dad’s lack of faith in me.” He glanced down at his father who was still hunched over the table. “Well, Dad? Are you going to check up on me every morning for the rest of my life? Because I may as well tell you now that most days I’ll be up when I’m meant to, and some days I won’t, and you just have to live with that, I’m afraid, because I’m not perfect.”
“Oh, yes, you almost perfect,” his mother chipped in, elbowing her husband. “Ah Kai, tell your son you trust him, go on.”
Slowly Uncle Kai lifted his head and gazed at Dion. “I thought you were … in trouble again. Why didn’t you tell me about Toni?”
“Come on, Dad!” A pink hue tinged Dion’s tanned face. “As if I would.”
“Okay.” Uncle Kai gestured calmly. “But if you told me I would be much happier. Toni’s good for you. She’s very sensible girl. She keep you out of trouble.”
His nod of approval towards Toni caused her throat to seize up. The last thing she’d ever expected was for Dion’s father to approve of her and Dion. But how was she going to tell him that his assumptions were completely false?
Dion cleared his throat. “Actually, Dad, Toni won’t be here to keep me out of trouble. She’s going to live in Sydney.” He gazed at her again. “Isn’t that right, Toni?” He didn’t seem angry, resentful, or even annoyed. If anything he appeared resolved.
“It’s for the best.” Her voice was a tight whisper. “Last night was … was an accident. It shouldn’t have happened.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t get it. I–” He broke off and glanced around, clearly frustrated by the presence of their parents. He pressed his hand on his father’s shoulder. “Dad, I know I just insisted I could handle the restaurant on my own, but I’m also not too proud to ask for help. I’m asking you now. Can you run things in the kitchen while I talk to Toni in private?”
Uncle Kai blinked up at Dion. “Now?”
“Yes, I need to clear up a few things with Toni.”
“But you have customers downstairs!”
“That’s why I’m asking you for help. Gary can tell you what needs to be done.”
Uncle Kai snorted. “Don’t need Gary tell me how to cook. I was cooking before he was born.”
“So you’ll do it? We won’t be more than half an hour.”
Uncle Kai heaved himself to his feet and started rolling up his shirt sleeves. “I can cook all night.” He gestured at the others. “Come on, what you waiting for? We show Gary how to cook properly.”
Toni watched in stunned silence as their parents filed out of the room.
When they were alone, Dion turned back to Toni. “My car’s out the back.”
“We’re leaving?”
“Just for a short drive. I don’t want to be interrupted or distracted.” He moved towards the stairs, beckoning at her to follow him, then stopped when she remained motionless. “Toni, please.”
His soft pleading broke down the last of her resistance. As if in a dream, she followed him down the stairs and out the back where his SUV was parked. They drove off, and soon the lights and bustle of the shopping strip were left behind. Dion drove with intense concentration, hands clamped to the steering wheel, even though they were barely moving above a snail’s pace. A few minutes later he pulled off on the side of the road. She was so wound up it took her a while to realise they were at Fly Point, their old haunting ground.
Gravel crunched beneath her high heels as she climbed out of the car. Mauve tinted clouds streaked the darkening sky, and a light evening breeze tugged at her dress, licking the dampness from the back of her neck. Dion beckoned towards the stairs leading down to the beach. They hadn’t spoken since they’d left the Happy Palace, and she was reluctant to break the silence. She slipped off her shoes and padded after him down the stairs, the wooden boards beneath her soles still warm from the afternoon sun.
On the beach the incoming tide slapped and swirled against the rocks, restless and hungry. Dion turned towards her. In the dimming light he appeared hesitant, less confident than he’d been back at the restaurant.
“I didn’t expect our night together to be the focus of discussion at dinner,” he said.
She swallowed, trying to keep her tone light as she replied, “Our parents have no sense of boundaries.”
He moved a step closer but still kept his distance. “Back at the restaurant, you said last night was an accident. Do you really believe that?”
The earnestness in his voice made her pause as she tried to reconstruct all the events that had led to last night. It seemed ever since she’d arrived in Piper Bay three days ago every event had conspired towards and ultimately culminated in her falling into Dion’s arms.
“I don’t know.” She shook her head in confusion. “I’d never thought of you as a potential lover, and then, these past few days, when I did start to notice you, I didn’t know what to make of it. It seemed as if a giant wave came out of nowhere and swept me up, like a flash flood. I guess that’s why it felt like an accident, because I wasn’t expecting it.”
He breathed in and out several times. “For me it was no accident. I’d been dreaming about just such a night for years.”
Shock squeezed her lungs. “Years?” she wheezed.
He nodded, a wistful smile playing on his lips. “That’s how long I’ve been in love with you, Mei-hua.”
She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Blood thrummed in her ears. “You’re in love,” she managed to get out, “with me.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t understand.” She began to hyperventilate. “You’ve never … you’ve never said a word, dropped a hint … anything.”
“I was going to tell you. When I realised how I felt about you, I got in my car and sped all the way down to Sydney.” His smile became a grimace. “And then I saw you with Nick, and I knew I was too late. So I came back home.”
This couldn’t be happening. “When?” she spluttered. “When did this happen?”
“About eighteen months after you started uni.” He paused. “You were on the lawn outside your college. With Nick. You were obviously enthralled with him.”
A rush of painful memories assaulted her. Those first months she’d been giddy with astonishment that someone as popular as Nick had chosen her, and in her eagerness to prove her worthiness she’d turned herself inside out to please him, while all the time suspicion had lurked that she wasn’t good enough, conspiring with hope to twist her into an emotional pretzel. If Dion had appeared then, would she have seen through her confusion and recognised that what she’d felt for Nick wasn’t love but infatuation?
“I didn’t even know you came to see me,” she protested. “You should have stayed and talked to me.”
“No, in a way I’m glad I didn’t sp
ill my guts to you. It wouldn’t have been fair on you. At the time I was a total mess. I didn’t know what to do with my life; I was mixing with the wrong people …” He hesitated before continuing, “You may as well know that was just after Dad caught me smoking dope. He made me see how low I’d fallen. I realised how much I missed you, how much you meant to me. But imagine what would have happened if I’d thrown myself at you. You’d have felt obliged to help me out, and I would’ve just been a big, dead albatross around your neck.”
That’s not true. She couldn’t get the words out for the suffocating lump in her throat. If he’d been there maybe he’d have saved her from making such a terrible mistake with Nick. He would have reminded her of who she was, would have shown her that she didn’t need to change for anyone, that she was fine just the way she was.
“Seeing you with Nick was the kick up the pants I needed,” Dion continued. “I realised I had to stop wasting my life. I’d lost you–” For the first time his voice quivered. “– but on reflection I realised I wasn’t ready to love anyone, not the sorry screw-up I’d degenerated into. I had to get myself sorted out first. I had to make something of myself so that I could stand tall, so you’d be proud of me instead of just pitying me.”
“All this time, I didn’t know.” Hot emotion clogged her voice. “I wish I’d known.”
“Would it have made a difference?”
“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” Shivering, she wiped the moisture from the corners of her eyes. “So last night wasn’t just a casual thing for you.”
He swallowed, his smile wavering. “Couldn’t you tell? I’d been waiting for last night forever. I never thought it would happen.”
Still, she couldn’t allow herself to hope because there was still so much left unexplained. “But you’ve made no attempt to stop me returning to Sydney. Why?”
His smile widened, became teasing. “So you want me to throw my weight around, huh? And you’d be willing to stay here? Move in with me?”
The look in his eyes hooked her, sent warmth unfurling through her veins. “Yes,” she answered without hesitation.
“That’s a drastic step. I’ve been thinking about you for years. You might call it an obsession. When you finally arrived and started paying some attention to me, I was a bit frightened that reality wouldn’t live up to my expectations, but last night …” He exhaled a slow breath. “Last night I knew beyond a doubt I’m in love with you. It’s taken me many years and a lot of soul-searching to reach this point, but for you it’s different …” Pained uncertainty showed in his eyes.
“I’m in love with you. Can’t you tell?” Her legs were shaking. She longed to reach out and touch him, but his doubtful, searching eyes held her at bay.
“I think you should come up here as often as you can, spend more time with me, get to know me better.”
That was what she should have done with Nick, and if she had she would have realised their relationship wouldn’t last. But with Dion? She threw back her head, letting out a groan of frustration. “Dion, I know you already. I’ve seen you at your worst and your best. For God’s sake, don’t you want me in your life?”
His expression became tortured. “I want that more than anything, but I’m not going to ask you to make changes just to suit me. You have a great career ahead of you. I won’t jeopardise that by asking you to stay.”
She shook her head. “You’re happy for us to live apart?”
“Hell, of course I’m not happy about that.” He rubbed his hands against his jacket then clenched them at his sides as if he didn’t trust himself. “But I don’t want you to stay here just because of me. I don’t want you resenting me ten years from now. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the years it’s this – you can’t pin your hopes on someone or something to make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy. I want you to go out there and be the best you can. Build your career in Sydney, come back to Piper Bay whenever you can. I love you, Toni. I’ll always be there for you.”
His face blurred as the tears she’d fought to keep away surged again. “But what about us?” she almost wailed.
Finally he took her hand, his touch tentative. “I’ll admit it’s not the best start to a relationship, but we won’t always be apart. Right now my life is here, in the Happy Palace, but who knows what will happen in a year or two? I might follow you to Sydney, or you might decide to come back here.” He twined his fingers through hers. “Do you think you could manage that? Do you think we could weather the separation?”
She gripped her fingers round his. “I don’t know. Maybe.” But inside her heart was still protesting. She felt as if she was being sent into exile and by the very man who said he loved her. “You don’t really believe that I love you, do you? You think I’m just on the rebound from the divorce.”
A muscle flexed in his jaw. “It’s not an unreasonable assumption, but no, I think you’re past Nick. You did that on your own. But falling in love with me in just a few days? I think that’s out of character for you.”
“And you acting so cautious and sensible? That’s wildly out of character for you.”
“Touché.” Smiling, he slipped his free arm around her waist. “Maybe our best bits are rubbing off onto each other.”
Her heart skittered as the warm solidness of his chest pressed up against her. “One of your best bits is rubbing on me right now,” she whispered.
He laughed, his teeth glinting in the thickening dusk. “Whoa, your raunchy talk is making me blush.” His voice hitched, and she knew he was struggling to keep the mood light.
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she linked her hands behind his back and squeezed him until every muscle in his body was imprinted against hers. She shut her eyes and sucked in his scent, concentrating all her senses on him. “Dion,” she choked. “Don’t you know how hard this is for me?”
He buried his face in the crook of her neck, his rough jaw scraping her skin. “I know, chuckle berry, but it’ll be worth it. Trust me.”
Standing on tiptoe, she threaded her fingers through his close cropped hair and leaned up to kiss him, trying to channel all her clamouring emotion into the embrace. At her fierce clasp, he inhaled and then returned the kiss, his mouth as starved and wanton as hers. She pressed herself into him, the hem of her skirt riding up as she hugged her hips against his. His hands slid compulsively down the backs of her thighs then moved up beneath her skirt, clamping around her buttocks and pulling her closer so the apex of her thighs met the swelling heat of his groin.
He groaned against her mouth. “Toni, you’re making this very difficult for me.”
Lust and exhilaration shot through her, but at the same time she knew she wasn’t being fair on him. Everything he’d said made sense. If they were going to have a future together, they had to start off on the right foot. She had to show him that she could stand on her own, that her happiness didn’t depend solely on him, just as his satisfaction with life didn’t rely only on her. Reluctantly she loosened her grip on him.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Even so she couldn’t help stroking his shoulders, moving down to his arms and chest, the compulsion to touch him too strong to resist. He still had his hands up her skirt, his thumbs caressing the crease of her bottom. She wiggled her butt against his palms, revelling in the friction of his calloused hands. “But there’s still tonight,” she murmured in his ear. “We’re still going to have au revoir sex, aren’t we?”
His hands tightened. “Yeah …” he stuttered out before hauling in a deep breath. “It’s going to work out, Toni. It’s all gonna be fine, I just know it.” He brushed his lips against her forehead. “I have faith in us.”
She leaned her head against his chest, the breeze stirring her hair. The thump of his heart echoed in her ear, and his arms were strong around her. Incredible to think how their paths had diverged so wildly and then come together now. The timing wasn’t perfect – in fact it was downright lousy – but the main thing was they had found each oth
er. Everything else could be sorted out.
“Shall we leave the old folks running the kitchen all night and sneak off to your place?” she asked.
Dion hesitated, as she knew he would. “That’s very tempting, sweetie, but I’m afraid if I didn’t go back I’d never get rid of my dad. As it is, he’ll be crowing for days about coming to my rescue.”
“I guess you’re right.” Smiling wryly, she disentangled herself from him, keeping hold of his hand. “Come on. We’d better get back before Gary loses it and hands in his resignation.”
He touched his lips to her cheek one more time before they left the indigo beach and climbed the stairs hand in hand.
Back at the Happy Palace, the first person they ran into was Toni’s dad. He came out of the storeroom just as Toni and Dion walked in the rear entrance. Shen stopped, wiped his hands on his apron, and narrowed his eyes at Toni, causing her to press her lips together and tighten her hold on Dion’s fingers.
“Hi Dad. We’re back,” she announced unnecessarily.
“I can see that.” He shifted his gaze to Dion, still unsmiling.
“Hope I didn’t cause everyone too much work,” Dion said.
“We used to hard work. We don’t disappear while we still got work to do.”
His pointed criticism was aimed squarely at her, Toni knew. “Dad, you don’t have to worry. I won’t be distracting Dion when I’m back in Sydney.”
“You’re going back?”
“Isn’t that what you want?” She bit her lip, still grieving that the two most important men in her life wanted her elsewhere. “Dion thinks I should go, too.”
“Wait a minute.” Dion frowned. “Uncle Shen, you think Toni shouldn’t stay here because you’re afraid she’ll be too much of a distraction to me?” Folding his arm around her shoulders, he drew her closer to him, his body vibrating with protectiveness. “Honestly, I wish you and Dad had a little more faith in me.”
Shen pulled a face. “I also think it’s better for Toni. She need to find her independence again.”
“Well, I agree with that,” Dion said.
