Dennis the Conqueror: A Harem Fantasy (Sword and Sorority Book 1)

by Scot C Morgan

  "Yeah," I said, stepping back. "I'll be just in the other room." The woman nodded to me. "But come get me as soon as she wakes up," I said. "Okay?"

  She gave me a curious look. "Alright," she said. "I can do that, I suppose."

  I'm sure she thought it odd that I wanted her to get me when Monica woke, but I knew it was better not to tell her I knew who Monica was, where she came from, and that she'd been naked in my bed a few days ago.

  I went back to the other room and took a seat. I decided I'd stay there until Monica woke up or Alara, Nithia, and Tara came back. Cormac would need to be informed too, I thought. She'll need a place to stay, until…I figure out what to do. Maybe Alara can help me make some sense of what happened. It was her magic after all which dragged Monica into this. Then I remembered Alara telling me there was no way back home. Ah, shit. Monica is not going to like hearing that.

  I tipped the mug I'd left on my table, checking to see how much was left in it. My drink was nearly empty. I glanced around for the waitress, but immediately realized the only one I'd seen working since I came downstairs was the old woman. She hadn't come out of the back room. I didn't want to bother her for a refill while she was looking after Monica. I stared at the granola bread on my plate. "Guess it's just me and you, then, huh?"

  My stomach turned, but it wasn't at the thought of eating the bread this time. What about Sydney?

  Chapter 16

  The granola bread and I never became more acquainted, and my stomach was grumbling as a result. I wanted another turkey leg, but the kitchen was closed until further notice. But that was the least of my problems.

  Monica had awoken after nearly two hours. Alara, Nithia, and Tara had come back ten minutes before then. I filled them in on the situation, leaving out the fact that I knew who Monica was, and that she was from Earth, until I pulled Alara aside. She was the only one I told at first. Then we told Nithia, once Tara left us to take care of some of the customers who'd been waiting for a while without any service. It wasn't like it had to be a secret, I just didn't want the whole town—or at least the people gathered at the inn—to hit me or Monica with twenty questions. I also didn't want to spread the news that I came to town to kick the Dark One's ass—something I still hadn't come to terms with and was completely open to avoiding, if at all possible.

  Cormac was still gone doing who knows what, so the old lady continued to keep watch over Monica. We had to have that first conversation with Monica with the old woman in the room.

  Alara, Nithia, and I stood just inside the doorway to the employee lounge where Monica was still sleeping. The old lady moved back and forth from the kitchen to the lounge every few minutes, checking on her. I waved to her the last time she headed back into the kitchen.

  "So, she was a friend of yours?" Alara asked.

  "Uh, yeah, sort of. We were in class together," I said, forgetting I hadn't told Nithia I was only a college student back on Earth.

  "Wait, what?" Nithia said. "In class? What do you mean?"

  Oh, shit. Right.

  "I mean…" I tried to think of a quick way to explain everything to Nithia and also whether I even should tell her what I'd told Alara—that I wasn't a barbarian badass on Earth.

  Alara broke in to save me the trouble, for the moment. "It's complicated, Nithia. Not now."

  That's one way of putting it.

  Monica groaned faintly.

  "She's waking up," Nithia said, pointing to her.

  We walked over and stood next to the cot. I glanced to my right. I saw the old lady was busy stirring something in a big pot at the far side of the kitchen. I hoped she'd stay busy. The conversation with Monica was going to be awkward enough, especially with Alara and Nithia next to me.

  Hey, Monica. Welcome to Galderia, land of ‘you're stuck here and may die before the end of the week’. Meet my new girlfriends, a magic priestess and her equally buxom gal pal. Oh, and you're here because you decided to get into bed with me at just the wrong time.

  Monica opened her eyes slowly at first, then wide as she startled seeing the three of us looming over her. She withdrew a little toward the wall, still on the cot, but pulling her knees in toward her stomach and bracing herself up with one arm to a mostly sitting position, her other arm wrapping around her knees. The blanket slid down off her legs as she moved.

  "What's going on!" She looked frightened. "Who are you?"

  "You're safe now," Alara said.

  Monica glanced around frantically. The old lady was still stirring the pot in the next room. I tried to look as unthreatening as possible. I realized she'd just woken up in a strange place with three people standing over her—two in wild-woman bikinis and me an over-muscled shirtless guy. I hoped she'd recognize my face.

  Her expression changed to one of bewilderment. "Dennis?"

  "Yeah," I said. "It's me."

  She gave my body a once over. "What happened to you?"

  "Kinda hard to explain. Are you okay?"

  I knew seeing me in barbarian mode must've been a shock to her, but no doubt she'd seen a lot of other crazy shit the last few days. So, I didn't go into my training routine—years of reading sword and sorcery novels and looking at Frazetta paintings, topped off with a few days of heavy dosing on boobs and bare-ass babes. It's not like it would've made sense anyway.

  "I…" She shook her head a little, then looked at Alara and Nithia.

  "Oh," I said. "These are my friends." I gestured toward them. "This is Alara."

  Alara nodded.

  "And this is Nithia," I said.

  "Good to meet you," Nithia said. "What happened to you?"

  "Excuse me." I pointed to the blanket at the foot of the cot before slowly reaching for it. Then I pulled it up to Monica and handed the edge to her, helping to drape it back over her legs. Evidently she was unaware the old man's shirt had ridden up her hips when she recoiled and sat up. With nothing left to cover her below her waist, I couldn't concentrate because of how she was sitting.

  She took the edge of the blanket—seeming to realize she'd been unintentionally exposing herself—and pulled it up over her knees and around her waist. "Sorry. I didn't…"

  "Don't worry about it, honey," Nithia said. "Not like all three of us haven't all seen-"

  I flashed a shut-up look at Nithia as I gave her a soft but clearly intended nudge.

  "You must've been through quite a lot," I said. "Were you hurt? What happened?"

  She looked at me for a few seconds, her mouth open like she was about to speak. But then her lips quivered. I saw tears well up in her eyes. Then she cried as she spoke. "I have. We have. It's been horrible. I don't know what happened. How we got here. Where here even is."

  Nithia leaned her hip on the side of the cot and put her hand on Monica's shoulder. "Oh, I'm so sorry. You must be so scared."

  Monica sniffled before nodding her head. Her tears were streaming full force now. "Uh huh." She looked at me. "What's happening, Dennis?"

  Just then, the old lady came in from the kitchen. "Oh, you poor dear. Let me get you a cloth and a glass of water." She turned and darted back into the kitchen.

  "I'll explain everything," I said, quickly realizing after I said it that the full explanation probably wasn't going to make her feel any better.

  "Hold on," Alara said, glancing behind her. I looked and saw three townspeople lingering to watch the emotional car wreck.

  "Oh, yeah," I said. I turned to the three onlookers. "Give us some space." I spoke loudly, forcefully. "She doesn't need everybody staring at her."

  They got the message. I'm sure the scowl I gave them made my request clear. They were just everyday regular folk. I was a chest-flexing out-of-towner who'd slain a band of dark riders just yesterday. They didn't argue or stay to ask questions.

  The old woman returned with a soft cotton cloth and a small ceramic mug of water. She handed the cloth to Monica, who used it to dab the tears from her eyes before delicately wiping the bottom edge of her nose. "Thank you," she
said, then she took the mug and sipped, handing it back to the woman afterward.

  "You're welcome, dear." The old woman stood with the mug and looked sympathetically at Monica.

  "We're far from home," I said. "But you already know that." I looked at Alara, then back to Monica. "We'll explain everything, but you aren't going to like what you hear."

  "I need to know what's going on," Monica said, holding back tears, but with more strength in her voice now.

  "I know," I said. I glanced to the old woman, then to Alara. "Maybe we should…"

  "Yes," Alara said. "If it's okay with you, Monica, there's a more private room just upstairs. You'll be more comfortable there, and we can explain everything." Alara spoke the suggestion softly.

  Nithia smiled at Monica. I could tell she too was trying to put her at ease.

  Monica looked at me, as if for more assurance it would be okay.

  I nodded to her, then tipped my head to the side, like I was signaling her to follow us. "Come on. You'll be safe and it's quiet.

  She took a few seconds, evidently considering each of us. "Okay," she finally said.

  Alara turned to the old woman. "We're at the end of the hall. We'll take her up there to rest some more."

  The old woman looked Alara up and down, then she stared at me for a second.

  "Tell Cormac when he returns," I said, hoping my request would put the old lady at ease about our good will.

  She nodded, slowly at first. "Alright. Go on." She addressed Monica, "I'll have some hearty food brought up before too long." Then she muttered, "If I can find that Tara."

  "Thank you," Monica said. "That's very kind of you."

  The old woman put her hand on top of Monica's and then gave it a gentle pat before returning to the kitchen.

  "Come on," Nithia said, offering to help Monica up, which she accepted.

  We helped her upstairs and down the hall. It wasn't that she was injured so badly she had trouble getting around. She only had a few minor scrapes and cuts. But she seemed to be overcome with emotion still. I waved a few people to get out of the way as we made our way to our door. We got inside and Nithia led Monica toward the bed, but Monica didn't want to sit on it. Instead she took a seat on the floor with her back to the foot of the bed. She drew her knees up again and wrapped both hands around her arms, but not before first pulling one of the covers off the bed and drawing it across her to maintain some modesty this time.

  Nithia sat on the floor beside her, but not too close, as it was evident Monica needed to maintain some personal space.

  "I wish Brad was here," Monica said. "I never should have…"

  "Who's Brad?" Alara whispered to me.

  "I'm not entirely sure," I whispered back.

  "Well, we need to let her know where she is, for starters at least," Alara said.

  I agreed.

  There was a lot to tell her, a lot to explain. I didn't know how she'd react. She was still an emotional wreck, and I didn't blame her.

  I wondered what all she'd been through, but there was a more pressing question I had to ask first. I knew I probably wasn't going to like the answer. "You weren't alone. Were you?"

  The anxiety returned to her face, and the tears began to build again in her eyes. She shook her head. "No." She looked as if she'd suddenly remembered something she'd forgotten, something of dire importance, something terrifying.

  We both said her name at the same time. "Sydney."

  They'd both been zapped into this world, same as I had. I glanced to Alara—not to accuse her, but because I knew she understood what must've happened. Well, mostly what happened. I'd never told Alara I was about to get lucky for the first time—with both Monica and Sydney—before I got the great unsolicited call to become the next Guardian, aka the next guy to get slashed or skewered or crushed to death by the Dark One. I knew if I gave Alara all the naked details of the moments right before I corkscrewed down the cosmic drain and got spat out on Galderia, Monica's and Sydney's being in this world would make more sense to her.

  "Where is she?" I had to find out, but I knew by the way Monica had been practically carried into the inn, and by how upset she was, Sydney must be in trouble—or worse. I braced myself for what Monica would say. Either Sydney was…no longer around, or she was trapped in a really bad situation. If it was the latter, I already knew—being the only hometown hero available—I was first in line to storm the castle, or whatever had to be done to go get her.

  Probably much worse than a castle. I was taking the situation seriously, but my overactive imagination sprang up on its own sometimes. I pictured some of the enemies Conan faced in my favorite Frazetta paintings—man ape, the giant snake, Dracula. Okay. I can probably rule out Dracula, at least. That wasn't a Conan painting anyway.

  Monica told us what she knew of the place where she and Sydney had been held captive. She said the creature had guarded them. It didn't seem to want to hurt them. They had been taken to it by a few men who'd captured them as they made their way through the woods. They'd been wondering for a few days—since they'd been transported to Galderia, I realized. When the men brought them to the creature, they placed the two of them in shackles just inside the creature's cave. Monica said the shackles, which were on her ankles, were old and rusted. She managed to free herself from hers by hitting the metal with a rock when the creature was sleeping, but failed to do the same for Sydney after thirty minutes of she and Sydney striking hers.

  She fled when the creature awoke and started chasing her. She said she hoped to find someone who could help, but she also feared the same men who captured her would once again find her. Eventually she noticed the overgrown path which she followed until she arrived in Darguna. Then she described the creature and pleaded for me to save Sydney.

  Nithia said she knew of the place, basically. She'd been near there long ago, before joining up with Alara. She wasn't sure it was the same place at first, but when Monica described the creature she and Sydney had seen, Nithia said she was sure. She'd never seen the creature, but had heard horrifying stories of it from the people she met in the woods—foragers, roaming and living off the land, as she had done for years before going to see her sister, before hearing from Alara what had happened to her sister.

  Holy shit.

  "There's no way," Nithia said.

  "Nithia!" Alara pushed off the table she'd been leaning against.

  "Sorry," Nithia said. "But you know it's true. That thing-"

  "Maybe," Alara cut her off. I saw her casting her gaze down toward Monica.

  I was confused. "Wait." I turned to Alara. "I'm supposed to face you know who, but you're saying this creature is too much?"

  "I didn't say that," Alara said. "But do you think you're ready?"

  Nithia spoke up. "It's just that it's too…savage, unpredictable."

  I looked at Monica and she gazed back up at me, pleading with her eyes. We hadn't slept together. She wasn't my girlfriend or my lover, or even a good friend—we really only knew each other from class—but she and Sydney still had sway over me. Memories of sitting in class between the two of them popped into my head—the countless times I’d gotten distracted from my classwork by a flick of their hair or a whiff of their perfume, their smiles as I took my lucky seat each time, the Best Boobs contest.

  Besides, I thought, I can't stand by and do nothing.

  "I'm going." A simple declaration. Not an ounce of reservation in my voice.

  "What?" Nithia said.

  "I'm going to get Sydney, to rescue her."

  "Then I'm going with you," Alara said.

  "I don't know if that's a good idea," I said.

  Alara walked over to me. "You know you can use my help."

  "I'm going too," Nithia said. "And we should get Cormac and Tara."

  Monica looked overwhelmed, and I realized we were leaving her hanging. She still had no idea what had happened, how she and Sydney ended up in this world.

  "We'll talk about it later," I said. The
n I looked at Nithia. "Why don't you go and see if you can find Cormac and Tara. Tell them what's going on, and bring them back here. Or come get us and we can meet them downstairs."

  "Yeah," she said. "I can do that."

  "Thanks," I said. "Monica still needs to hear how she got here and where exactly here is. Alara and I will talk to her."

  I glanced at the window. "It's late. It's going to be more difficult to travel there at night, but we don't really have a choice. Sydney's in danger, we can't afford to wait until morning."

  "No. You're right." Alara looked out the window. The sky was already growing dim.

  I called out to Nithia as she was heading out the door. "Tell Cormac we'll need supplies. And tell him to hurry."

  She nodded before closing the door. Alara and I sat down on the floor with Monica and explained the unbelievable story of Alara's priestess magic, of how I was now the Guardian, and how when I was transported to Galderia she and Sydney must've been inadvertently sucked along for the ride.

  Monica was gobsmacked. She was silent through most of the explanation, only saying, "No way," or "Uh huh," a few times. I was pleasantly surprised at how few times she cried over the fifteen minutes it took to get her up to speed.

  Then she mentioned the one detail I left out.

  "So," she said, "Sydney and I got transported here like you-"

  "That's right," I said.

  She continued, "-because we were naked in bed next to you when it happened?"

  "What?!" Alara clearly wasn't expecting that little detail I failed to mention before.

  I glanced at her. Her eyes were as big as- Well, they were really big. "Nothing happened."

  "Yeah," Monica said. "Because you passed out. Actually, I'm glad. Brad and I…"

  She started crying again.

  I looked at Alara. She was still looking at me.

  I glanced at the door. "I hope Nithia gets back here with Cormac and Tara soon. We really should be going."