by Ted Evans
It’s just a few drinks… you’ll survive. I hoped I would, at least.
“You’ve gotta know this is a bad idea, though, right?” Nora asked quietly.
I sighed, and nearly opened my eyes, only I felt something touch my eyelids, so I kept them closed.
“Nora, I know you’re worried. Believe me, I’m not sure if I can do this myself, but I can still try, right? So I can get closure?”
“What I’m really worried about,” she said, her voice full of frustration. “Is that instead of any sort of closure, you’ll just end up getting hurt again. I wasn’t the only one that saw the way he was looking at you at the bridal store.”
I hunched in on myself a little. “He was probably just surprised to see me.”
“Yeah. He was surprised twice, and the second time was because he noticed the dress. You’re not…please tell me you’re not doing this because you think there’s a chance he might still love you?”
Was I? I asked myself this question, not sure if there was even an answer for it. Did I even want Abe to still be in love with me? After so much time spent apart…could I dare to try and rekindle things between us? I would have liked to say that wasn’t possible, but then, why would I go out with him knowing it would only hurt later?
For a long moment, I said nothing, thinking over my answer. Nora took the chance to speak up more to try and get me not to go.
“I’m sure I don’t have to remind you why this is a bad idea, right? Not only are you a grown up, I doubt you could have forgotten just because half a dozen years had passed.”
I bit down on my lip, only to feel Nora poke my cheek with the opposite end of the brush, and I released it.
“Brooklyn,” she said, her voice gentling. “I was there for you after he broke up with you. Because I knew you weren’t okay, I spent the summer after graduation with you in Cali until my parents made me come back to New York City.”
“You were enjoying the beach your entire time there, it’s not like it was a chore,” I retorted in a mumble, trying not to move my lips too much as she was still working.
“None of it was a chore,” she said firmly. “You’re my best friend, of course I would be there for you. I mean, the beaches were nice, but my priority was always you. You know yourself how heartbroken you were after Abe left you. What if he does the same thing again? Are you just trying to punish yourself, or what? And even if you are, there are better ways to go about it besides ripping your own heart out of your chest.”
Every word out of her mouth hit the mark, and I was having second thoughts about whether I really needed to do this. It would be better if I just stood Abe up and told him I wanted nothing more to do with him. It was the least he deserved, after all. But, even as that thought rose up in my mind, I could feel threads of reluctance. Because I could lie to myself, but I knew I wanted to go.
“I think it’ll be better if I just go,” I said slowly.
Nora made a sound of frustration. “Brooklyn—”
I cut her off. “Think of it this way. I only have a few days left to stick around here. It doesn’t matter if I see him this time, because once I go back home, there won’t be any more chances. I just…want to have this last time, then I’ll leave, and I’ll completely cut off all contact with him. I don’t think we could meet again, even by coincidence, right?”
Nora held her words back for a bit, and I waited nervously for her answer. I trusted a lot in what Nora said, and if she really insisted on me not going to see Abe, then I wouldn’t go. My mind wasn’t in the right place, and I knew I couldn’t think objectively about this. Nora, though, had been with me the whole way as I struggled to get past him and failed thus far.
When I could finally open my eyes, I looked at my best friend’s frowning face and held my breath. After a moment, she sighed.
“You might as well go, then,” she said, sounding defeated. “If anything, you’ll at least get some revenge on Abe. He should feel a bit more regret for what he did. Clearly, he doesn’t feel enough if he thinks asking you out for drinks is the right thing to do after everything. And you will be leaving, anyway, so if you can leave him guessing, then good.”
I smiled at her assessment, and got up to see my look in the mirror. I was pleasantly surprised. The make-up didn’t look too thick, you could barely tell I’d used any. It was a subtleness Nora hadn't had before, and I believed her when she said she’d improved. Suddenly, my confidence was kicked up a notch higher.
“All right,” I said, picking up my purse and checking the time on my cell. “It’s almost time for me to head out. I will go, I will be out of reach. And I will end things with Abe once and for all.”
I said the words, feeling full of determination, and faced my own expression as I tried to brand these words in my mind. I wasn’t going to let Abe see even the lightest weakness. He was going to believe I would soon be a happily married woman. If it didn’t affect him at all…then whatever. But if it did, then good.
“Do you want me to go with you, at least to get you to the bar?”
“Thanks, Nora, but it’s okay. I need to do this by myself. And after… I’ll go back to California and find love. Real love. For now, as long as Abe believes I’ve moved on, it’ll be enough.”
I ran my hands down the front of my coat, a nervous gesture that I couldn’t help. I turned to Nora, and she gave me a pat on the shoulder.
“Yeah,” she added. “Even if it’s a lie, it’ll be fine as long as he believes it’s the truth, so you need to act like you’ve never acted before.”
I nodded firmly, then turned to the bedroom door, ready to leave and have the closure that I’d been hoping for…for too many years.
Chapter Four
Abe
I waited outside the bar for Brooklyn to arrive. I’d given her the address, and she was a grown up, I could trust her to make her way there on her own just fine, but I felt anxious. Seeing as she didn’t want me to pick her up. Not just that she might go the wrong way, but…
What would I do if she didn’t show up at all?
It would be humiliating, but I didn’t care about that so much, because I knew it would affect me if she, in the end, decided she would rather run away from me. It was the least I deserved, but if she was really so far out of reach, there were no chances.
There aren’t any, anyway, I reminded myself harshly. Whether or not she shows up, she is still getting married.
I’d had to deal with this truth for the past few days, and thinking about it still put a bad taste in my mouth. I knew I should have been happy for her if she really had moved on, but I didn’t think I could do it. in my head and in my heart, I still felt that Brooklyn was mine, and thinking of the man she was going to marry made me think of crashing the party, punching the guy out and dragging her off with me.
You can't actually do that, though. She’d just hate you.
I glanced at the time again, wondering why she hadn't arrived yet. My anxiety was growing, and I was starting to feel disappointed. I was just about to text her, or better yet, try to call, when I looked up and saw cab stop against the curb right in front of the pub. I was looking at it in distraction, but when the woman in the back stepped out, my jaw dropped.
Damn.
Brooklyn…looked hot. She was in a red dress and black trench coat and high heels. Her blonde hair was swept out of her face, and the make-up on her face looked subtle and elegant. The bar I was taking her to was on the high end, but I suddenly felt regretful for not bringing her to someplace classier. I was still in the suit I’d worn to work myself, so it would have to do.
“Hey, there,” I said softly once she came to a stop in front of me. “You look beautiful, Brooklyn.”
She grinned. “Thanks. You look pretty handsome yourself. So, are we going in, or are you waiting for someone else to join this party?”
“No, it’s just us.”
I almost held my arm out for her to take, but I hesitated. She might not appreciate it, for one,
and I no longer had the right to be so close to her. It belonged to someone else. As bitter as it made me, keeping my space might be the best for her in the current situation.
“Aren’t you going to lead me in?” Brooklyn asked, surprising me. “Don’t tell me you’re no longer a gentleman now?”
She was smiling coyly at me with a hand held out to me. My eyebrow arched, and I wondered what she was thinking, but I obediently offered my arm.
“It’s this way,” I said, leading us toward the entrance.
Brooklyn walked so close by my side that I could feel her body’s warmth. We walked into the bar. The atmosphere was mellow relatively quiet, with quite a few tables filled up, but the place didn’t look too crowded. I led Brooklyn over to an open space at the bar, then raised a hand to get the bartender. He appeared in front of us in a minute.
“I’ll have a beer, please,” I ordered, then turned to look at Brooklyn.
“I’d like a mimosa, please,” Brooklyn ordered.
As we waited, we chatted a bit. I asked Brooklyn how she’d been since I last saw her and she asked the same. We both gave simple answers, and before we could ask more questions, the bartender set out drinks down. I unscrewed my beer bottle and took a long swig.
“So,” I started, setting the bottle down once more. “You’re actually in New York. I never thought I would see the day.”
She chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, I didn’t expect New York of all places, either. But at least I have Nora here, even though it is a little cold. I do have to say, though, that running into you was a surprising coincidence. It’s supposed to be so big a city, and yet we managed to meet by total accident.”
“It’s a happy coincidence, at least, I hope?” I said tentatively.
Brooklyn smiled coyly, taking a sip of her drink. “You can see it that way, if you feel like,” she said teasingly. “It’s just surprising to me.”
I watched Brooklyn in surprise as she leaned closer to me, bracing her elbow on the bar counter, and resting her chin in her hand, looking right at me with a little mysterious smile on her face. My mouth felt a bit dry and I wondered if she was trying to flirt with me. I picked up my beer for a gulp, then licked my lips.
“I know I asked you out and said it was for old time’s sake, but actually, I did have a reason for asking you out.”
“Oh?” she murmured, eyebrows rising. “Please, Abe, do tell. I’m all ears.”
There were many things I could have said in that moment. I could have told Brooklyn of my regret from before. About how I had been hasty to tell her that we couldn’t be together, and then walking away and leaving the both of us heartbroken. I hesitated before those words could come out, though, and smiled.
“Maybe I made a mistake in the past,” I said vaguely. “I’ve thought it over several times since you left. Fuck, I was so arrogant back then….anyway seeing you in that dress. Damn, it really hit home.”
Brooklyn hummed. “Maybe. But neither of us can do a thing about the past.” She raised her glass and held it up to me. “Why don’t we look forward to the future instead? Hmm? A happy…and prosperous future for the two of us. Me with John and you at your company.”
Her actions surprised me. Or, more than surprising, they were hammering in something for me that I didn’t want to face just yet. Had she really moved on from me, to the point that she no longer had any feelings for me? I knew it would be wrong to try and pursue her again, but with the way she looked and was acting tonight, the thought was a natural one, if only the force behind it wasn’t so strong.
“As you said,” I murmured, clinking her glass with the neck of my bottle. “I can't say I entirely feel the same way, though.”
“Why?” she asked, corking her head to the side.
I showed a lazy smile. “Because I’m feeling a little down. The only reason you’re taken by someone else right now is because I was careless and I let you go. Your husband to be is sure a lucky guy.”
Brooklyn let out a giggle, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she took more of her drink. I noticed how she’d leaned closer to me once more, and I unconsciously moved closer as well.
“You’re just saying that trying to be nice, aren’t you?” she asked with a pout. “If I’m really such a great catch, you wouldn’t have let me go in the first place.”
“I admit I was young and foolish. Also, I would really love to meet this man that managed to win you over. I have a feeling you gave him a hard time before anything happened between the two of you. You and, uh…”
I stalled for a moment. Not because I hadn't heard the name she gave before, but because I was working up the courage to get the words past my mouth.
“Kevin,” she said before I could manage. “His name is Kevin, and don’t think of any weird, complicated stories. Kevin and I…we met at work during a project, and ever since then, we just clicked. We hung around together after work and eventually, it led to the current situation. There was absolutely no reason why I had to give him a hard time.”
It wasn’t like I expected her to come out and say she’d had a hard time ever since we broke up. It had been that way for me, to the point my parents had set up several blind dates to try and pull me out of the funk I dropped into. only, none of the women I ever met measured up to Brooklyn in any way. To me, it wasn’t about being the prettiest or the smartest. My interest in Brooklyn began because of her personality.
There was something even more important than that, though. Hadn’t she mentioned a John just some moments ago? I’d assumed that was her intended’s name, but somehow it now turned to Kevin. I watched Brooklyn closer, but she didn’t look like anything was wrong at all.
“And Kevin,” I started slowly. “Is he around in New York? If he is, then would it be possible to meet?”
“What do you mean, meet? I’d thought you were teasing, don’t tell me you were actually serious. The wedding invitations went out ages ago, there’s no way I can just add someone in last minute.”
Thoughts whirled around in my head. I wasn’t sure, if she was saying so because she didn’t really want me. Or maybe, it was because there wasn’t a wedding? Or maybe it was wishful thinking on my part and I’d just mistaken what Brooklyn had said before?
I decided to ignore it for the moment, and Brooklyn and I continued to chat as we drank, hopping from topic to topic and keeping things light. Even after so long, the conversation between us flowed so smoothly, I was hit again with just how much I had missed this woman.
If I ever had a chance to do it over… I can’t be sure I wouldn’t do the same thing all over again, but there really could have been better ways.
I never even thought to ask Brooklyn to come with me to New York. It might have been unfair of me, asking her to uproot her life just so she could follow me. But I really had been ready to do the same for her, before reality came crashing down on me. Surely, she might have at least given it some thought?
It was one of the scenarios I’d imagined over the years, but I still wasn’t sure if that meant we would have been happy in the end. We might have still loved each other, and within that time, come to hate each other. Because of the demands my work had on me, for the first couple years I didn’t even get time to myself. If Brooklyn had really been around for that, she would have been the one to leave me instead of the other way around.
After having a few more drinks, I suddenly felt like moving my body. The place felt entirely too stifling, and I pulled off my coat. The dance floor was simply an open space put in the middle of the tables in the bar. There were quite a few people there already, not enough for it to be so large a crowd, but since the space wasn’t that big to begin with, it was cramped.
I didn’t mind. A crowded dance floor simply meant Brooklyn and I got pushed together from all sides.
“Mr. Sanchez,” Brooklyn said, ducking her head closer so she wouldn’t have to shout. “This is bit of a surprise. I don’t really remember you being much of a dancer.
”
I smirked at her. “We went out to plenty of clubs, Brooklyn. But we never went alone, so how could I possibly dance with you when Nora was always there trying to cause problems? I know you know she doesn’t like me.”
Brooklyn giggled and spun around a little too quickly. She almost stumbled, and my arms reached out automatically to straighten her. Only, I didn’t let her go, and she didn’t try to pull out of my arms. If anything, she got closer, and a bump from behind made me take a step forward myself, minimizing the space between us.
My heart started beating faster in my chest. My breathing was ragged, and my eyes went half-lidded. Brooklyn met my gaze, and for a long moment, neither of us spoke.
“You really do look beautiful,” I murmured, my arms tightening around her just a bit, bringing her ever closer. “So beautiful that I really do think I was an idiot before.”
“Well, it’s true you were an idiot,” Brooklyn retorted.
I took notice of her tone, her pitch dropped a bit when she knew she needed to speak slightly louder for me to hear their words.
We weren’t even dancing anymore, the both of us just barely swaying in space. I could feel Brooklyn’s hands as they tentatively moved to my waist and held on there. A shiver wracked through my body, and then I did something really impulsive.
With one of my hands behind her, I ran it up the length of her spine, to the back of her neck, tanging my fingers in her golden locks. I used my grip on her hair to tug her head back slightly, and when I heard her gasp, I wanted to curse. Instead, I ducked my head and slanted my lips over Brooklyn’s, the arm I still had around her wrapping around her waist and dragging her body up against mine.
Brooklyn went completely still. Only, instead of pushing me away as the kiss continued, she allowed herself to relax. By the time I pulled away because we both needed some air to breath, I felt like I’d figured something out. She had her lips parted and glossy from the kiss and our spit, a dazed look on her face as she looked up at me.
