by Ted Evans
I smirked. “Brooklyn, you’re still making that face, you know? The face you always made when we kissed, like it absolutely consumed you until you couldn’t think straight.”
As my words came out, whispered in the space between us, I could see her eyes clear. My smirk just grew wider. She tried to break away from me, but I held her to me gently, leaning down once more. She squeezed her eyes tight and sucked in her lips, but I just chuckled. I pressed a kiss to her forehead, down her nose to the tip, both cheeks and her eye lids, then back to her forehead. When I pulled away, she was gasping, her whole body leaning against me for support.
I was tipsy, or I wouldn’t have had the courage to go this far while risking messing things up with Brooklyn. Still, I couldn’t help the curl of satisfaction in my chest to see her still reacting to me. If I could still make her look at me like that with just a kiss, then…it was possible she hadn’t forgotten about me, either.
That didn’t matter much in the current situation, though. If she really was engaged, I would have been doing something immoral, something that would probably anger both Nora and Brooklyn. But I had an intuition about my hunch, and I didn’t think I was wrong.
“Brooklyn,” I murmured, getting in real close so I could almost whisper the words and she would still hear them. “Does John, or Kevin, make you feel like this with just a kiss?”
She looked at me with wide, surprised eyes, and I smirked with the sudden feeling of triumph, even though nothing was confirmed yet.
I fucking knew that something was up and I had every intention of letting her know that once again she’d be mine.
Chapter Five
Brooklyn
I was feeling a little light headed as I practically ran out of the bar, leaving Abe behind me. My lips were still tingling from his kiss, and my cheeks felt warm, though that could have been from all the mimosas I’d had.
On the street, I held a hand up to hail a cab, and lucky for me, it was just the right time for cabs to be flooding the area, bringing people out to have fun and taking back those that were already done. As soon as a taxi stopped In front of me, I jumped in, worried Abe might follow me, and I didn’t know what I would do them.
Damn. Just…damn.
“Where to, miss?” the driver asked, making me realize we hadn't even left.
I gave him the address I was heading to, surprised at how shaky my voice sounded. I brought my fingertips up to my lips, and felt them trembling. Actually, I felt like my whole body was trembling. And all just because of a kiss from Abe.
Did I really think I could move on from this? I thought to myself with part sarcasm and despair. How the hell could that be possible when he can play my body so easily, like he was born to do it. I’m never going to find someone else like that.
The thought might have been a bit overdramatic. I wouldn’t be the only woman in the world that didn’t end up with her first love in the end, because that was what Abe was to me. He’d been all my firsts, and while I was still too young to be saying he would be my last, in that moment, I truly believed it, and I was scared.
“Miss? We’re here.”
I looked up. I hadn't even noticed the car came to a stop, but right outside was the apartment building Nora got me a place to stay at.
“Um, thanks,” I mumbled, looking through my purse for some bills. I checked the meter then handed the cash over and got out of the car.
I hope Nora left, I thought as I walked inside the building, wrapping the jacket tight around me because of the cold weather. If there was one thing I hated about New York was how much colder it was compared to home. The sun was almost always out back in California, but there, even when the sun was out, I’d still feel like I was freezing because of the wind.
When I got to the apartment, I paused outside, listening. Nora should have left right after me, but she also had a spare key to the place. It was how she could get in and out while I overslept every day. After taking a few seconds and hearing nothing, I pulled out the keys and unlocked the door. I pushed it in, still listening. The place was dark, and I turned on the lights.
“Nora?”
I walked through the rooms, and only when I was sure she really wasn’t there, did I close the door. I leaned back against it, my thoughts naturally going back to that kiss.
Why did he do that…why the fuck would Abe do that to me!
I could feel my whole face burning. Maybe it was the alcohol? Whatever reason, he thought I was about to get married, and he could still do something like that. Had Abe really changed so much since I last saw him?
Or… did he actually regret what happened before?
I shouldn’t be thinking that way, but I couldn’t help hoping for it. I still loved him, after all. Even if we still didn’t end up together, it would make me feel better if he still felt the same way that I did. Thinking we’d both suffered the past six years made me feel just a little better.
At that moment, though, there wasn’t only pain. My body felt painfully aroused, even with the distance I’d put between Abe and me in a hurry, just thinking back to that kiss was enough to get my body fired up.
Since I broke up with Abe, I hadn't dated anyone. The only person I’d ever had sex with was Abe, and I had been celibate after that. I didn’t even touch myself, not like I did before I knew what sex with someone else felt like.
It was a bit embarrassing, even thinking of going back to those times, but I was desperate. It had been so long since I’d felt arousal, and I didn’t just want the feeling to die.
I walked into the bedroom, turning off the lights in the rest of the apartment. I locked the bedroom door, then stripped bare and went to the bed. I tossed the covers aside then lay back with my head on the pillow. I looked up at the ceiling as I placed both hands on my stomach, stroking lightly, my hands moving up until I cupped my breasts. My hardened nipples brushed against the palm of my hand, making me gasp and arch my back slightly. They felt so sensitive, and I squeezed my breasts in my palms, rubbing over the nipples. Sparks of electricity ran through my body, and I was throbbing between my thighs.
Should I…watch something?
When I was still a curious virgin, I’d watched porn like a lot of teenagers. The first time I came across one, my body felt strange, and I kept watching. I would touch myself as I did, and then feel ashamed afterwards. It wasn’t until way later that I figured out just how to touch myself to experience an orgasm. And then a couple years after that, I lost my virginity to Abe. I’d never had to masturbate by myself after that.
I sighed. I don’t even have any toys. Not that I need any, but this is different.
Back then, I’d been too scared to use more than a finger because it would hurt. And, in my misguided youth, because there was no way I would be ordering from, or walking into an adult toy store, I found somewhat safe items to use.
It should be fine. I can just use more fingers.
Thinking that, I raised my knees and set my feet on the bed, spreading my legs open. Before sliding my hands lower, I paused.
There was a better way to do this. It meant putting it off, but I got up and went to the bathroom. I’d need to clean up afterwards anyway, so I turned on the taps and started filling the tub. I made sure the water was on the hot side, then stepped into the tub. I fondled my breasts, occasionally sliding my hands down to tease at my pubic hairs, but I didn’t touch myself where I wanted to the most. Instead, I let the anticipation build until I was feeling achy and empty.
I was impatient. While the water was still filling up, I sat in the tub. It was just the perfect shape for me to sit down with my back against the other end of it, with my feet beneath the tap. It curved a little under my ass so I didn’t have to worry about slipping. There was a handheld showerhead mounted against the wall, and I was at just the right position to pick it up. I looked over it a bit, then turned it on. I yelped at first because the water that came out was cold, but I readjusted the temperature, then the water pressure until it was j
ust where I wanted it. Biting down on my lower lip, I parted my thighs, lifting my knees, and brought the showerhead between my thighs.
“Fuck,” I moaned, tilting my head and arching my back. My other hand played with my nipples as I circled the showerhead around my sex. The water pressure was high, and as water poured over my clit, it made my body shiver with pleasure. I pressed the showerhead as close as I dared and let out a loud cry as my hips trembled, wanting more pleasure.
Quickly setting the showerhead aside, I used my toes to turn off the flowing water from the tap. The water wasn’t as high as I would have wanted yet, but too much of it would just be in the way for this part. I licked the fingers of my right hand and brought them between my thighs, spreading my lips to rub my clit. I moaned and trembled some more, pressing down harder as I rubbed in circles. It felt good, but it wouldn’t be enough to come, not even when I pinched my nipples at the same time.
I need more.
I licked the fingers of my other hand and brought it down between my thighs, under my other hand. I teased the fingers at my entrance, then slid a finger inside my body. I was biting hard on my lip as I slid it slowly in and out, circling a little around the entrance. Then, I added a second finger. I had tried this before, and it had hurt so much I never did it again. It was different now, the two fingers slid in easily, and they weren’t enough. So, I added a third finger, and thrust them in and out of me.
My breathing was coming out in pants, and in my mind, I imagined Abe was there. I still remembered the proportions of his body, and when he’d held me close earlier, it didn’t feel like his body had changed much. If anything, he’d become even more muscular. Then, I imagined Abe watching me with the same hot gaze he’d showed me at the bar. I let out a low whine as I moved my hands faster, one hand thrusting fingers in and out of me, and the other rubbing furiously around my clit.
Still not enough, I thought in frustration.
I pulled my fingers out and licked them until they were soaked in my spit, then continued. My hips shivered as I curled my fingers with every thrust inside me, moving my fingers faster and faster. My body squirmed and I let out a few moans and cries, my toes curling as my legs pressed to the sides of the tub. I could feel the pleasure start to grow, originating from where I touched myself, and then my spine went taut, my walls convulsing around my fingers and wave after wave of pleasure flooded my body as I continued rubbing furiously on my clit, clinging onto the orgasm for as long as I could. My nipples stood out, two hardened nubs, and goose bumps spread on my skin as a chill swept through my chest.
When my body stopped convulsing, I gentled my hands, then eventually stopped. My legs were weak as I repositioned them, my whole body trembling and feeling weak from the force of that orgasm. I lay back and closed my eyes, soaking in the tub a bit. After a few minutes, once the aftershocks died down, but with my body still feeling heavy, I turned on the tap so more water could flow.
Chapter Six
Abe
I stared at the cell on the table, contemplating.
To call, or not to call.
It was already the day after Brooklyn ran from me at the bar. I had wanted to chase after her, but with her smaller body, going through the crowd was easier, and I lost her quickly. By the time I made it out, she’d probably found a cab and left already, because even after waiting there for a while, I didn’t see her come out. I had felt regret, but not at kissing her. My regret was solely because I actually just let her go again.
Careless.
The whole thing last night had been careless, and I couldn’t even blame it on the drink, since it was exactly what I’d called her out for. And she’d ordered, so how could I have possibly gotten something non-alcoholic? And could I really have stopped myself from kissing her, slightly drunk or not, especially knowing she was about to get married? Whether I had doubts about it or not.
I knew the answer to that, and it made me, a bastard. I sighed and leaned back in my seat.
“Would you at least pay attention to me if you’re going to sit there and eat with me? You’ve been treating me like air since we sat down!”
I blinked my eyes and looked up. The words didn’t completely surprise me, but my sister was right, I’d forgotten she was there. She was the one that had invited me out to lunch, and since it was a Saturday, I didn’t need to put in a full day at work, so I didn’t object.
“Sorry,” I muttered, looking down at my cell again.
“You’re not eating, either. The food’s been on the table for nearly ten minutes and you look like you’re world’s away. You didn’t even see when it arrived here.”
I gave her a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, Maria. You’re right, I am a bit preoccupied.”
I looked at the plate that had been set beside my cell. How could I not have seen that there? I picked up my fork to taste the food. It was a simple spaghetti dish with a cheese layer and cut up peperoni slices. It tasted delicious, if a little warm since I’d neglected it for a while. I almost wanted to ask for it to be warmed for me, but I didn’t really care about the taste that much. My mind was still preoccupied with thoughts of Brooklyn and out kiss, that I went all absent minded again.
She tasted exactly like I remembered. Although, it might be more accurate to say she tasted better. My memory wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t perfect, either. And it had been so long already since I last kissed her. Last night, her reaction had been so much more than before, she’d been a lot more sensitive, and it made me wonder some things.
Supposedly, she was about to get married, but what if…over the past half a dozen years, she didn’t actually date anyone after me?
The thought filled my chest with extreme satisfaction, not to mention determination to see this through. I had Brooklyn in my sights again after so long, I was going to at least try and fix things between us. If it wasn’t what she wanted, she could tell me and I would back off. I didn’t think she would, though. Or at least, really hoped so.
A heavy sigh made me look up at my sister, who was now glaring at me.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly.
She waved a hand at me. “Whatever. Why don’t tell me what it is that’s on your mind? It seems anything else I say will go in one ear and out the other, so you can talk.”
“What were you talking about before?” I asked guiltily.
“My upcoming wedding with Chris,” she said bluntly.
That killed any guilt I felt. She already knew, even though I was willingly giving my support now, I didn’t want this arrangement. I hadn't seen the guy she was going to marry more than a few times, and every single one of those times, I didn’t particularly like him. But I was chalking it up to a big brother’s protectiveness over his little sister, and so was she, so it was easy for her to persuade me to go along with her. As long as it made her happy, I wasn’t going to raise any objections.
“Let’s not talk about Chris right now,” I said. What I didn’t say, was that it would just ruin my mood.
Maria shrugged. “Fine with me. So, what do you want to talk about? Are you really going to tell me what has you in such a good mood?”
“I’m in a good mood?” I asked, surprised.
She nodded slowly. “I’m pretty sure. Though you have been distracted, you definitely look like you’re not unhappy.”
I bit my lip. I hadn't realized that was what showed on my face. In reality, my mood was complicated, I didn’t even have words for it.
This was Maria, though, and she and I were close enough to talk about anything. So, after some hesitation, I decided to tell her.
“Do you remember back in college, there was a woman I dated?”
“Brooklyn?” she said with surprise. “How could I forget her? She was a nice. And then, you broke her heart.” She scowled at me.
I said nervously, “Yeah, well…when you sent me out to get that appointment from you, I happen to run into her on the way. She was busy, so I got her number and asked her out to drinks last
night. She hasn’t talked to me since, though.” I deliberately didn’t tell her about us meeting inside the bridal store.
She looked at me in surprise. “Seriously? So she’s the reason you’ve been looking at your cell like you’re waiting for her to call or text or something? Abe, you can't do that!”
I was a bit surprised at her vehemence, my eyebrows jumping up. I looked carefully at my sister. As far as I knew, I didn’t think she disliked Brooklyn.
“Why?” I asked, curious about her answer.
“How can you ask me why?” she hissed back. “I told you already, she was nice. I didn’t have much of an impression about her, because you didn’t let us meet that often, but I didn’t particularly dislike her. Still, you can't commit to her, Abe, and you know it. It’s the reason you broke that poor girl’s heart before, so please don’t do it again or that just makes you an asshole.”
I flattened my lips and leaned back in my chair, frowning at my sister. Her words were completely reasonable. Actually, I hadn't realized she knew so many details about the whole thing. The family had come down to California a few times while I was in USC and that was when Maria had met Brooklyn, but it had only been a few times, and each for a short amount of time. Not to mention my sister had only been sixteen then and going through puberty.
“What do you expect me to have done?” I asked. “Ignore her when we both saw each other?”
“Yes,” she said bluntly. “You should have completely ignored her instead of immediately trying to get close to her, how could that not be worse? Or better yet, you should have apologized to that poor woman then left her the fuck alone.”
“She’s doing well,” I muttered, feeling a little bitter.
“Then good for her. Don’t tell me you expected her to be like you? Unable to hold a relationship because you’re living in the past. Wouldn’t that be too painful for her? You’re my brother, Abe, but I am not going to be on your side with this.”
