by Lois Richer
Penny had entrusted Rick with her private history, bared her heart. How could he do less?
“This isn’t easy to talk about,” he began. His breath caught as her fingers twined with his.
“I’m listening,” she said. Those gently comforting tones drew his confession.
* * *
“When Gillian returned from West Africa she was in a lot of pain. She’d lost her husband and she had two small children dependent on her.” Rick exhaled, his face and voice tight with tension. “She didn’t know what to do and she had nowhere to live.”
“So you built her a house.” Penny smiled at his surprise. “Well, it’s a natural assumption. After all, building is what you do,” she said.
“Gill and I, we’d always felt each other’s pain. I could see how badly she was struggling to figure out how to go on alone. So I got her involved in house plans. She didn’t want much, a safe place for her and the twins, that’s all.” His nostalgic smile touched her heart.
“A true mom,” Penny murmured.
“Then we started construction. One of my workers talked to her about doing a presentation at church and Gillian began to see possibilities for her future. She got involved in fund-raising for a school that was desperately needed in Mali.” Penny watched Rick swallow and waited while he paused before continuing. “Gill became herself again with each stage of progression on the house and the fund-raising. Little by little my sister was slowly coming back to us. I had to make her home perfect for her and her twins to share. It was the only way I could find to help her.”
Rick’s voice wavered. Penny held her breath, waiting for him to break free of his memories and tell her the rest of the story. Because there was more. She could hear it in his words, see it in the flutter of troubled expressions that moved across his face, feel it in the way his shoulders tensed. Her heart went out to him. How horrible to lose your sister in such a terrible way.
“Sorry.” He jerked back to reality and tossed her a half smile that was tinged with sorrow. “Daydreaming.”
“Nothing wrong with cherishing good memories,” Penny said softly. Not that she had any memories of family. She could only imagine how sweet it would be to look back on times of love and laughter with people who’d shared your life and knew you better than anyone else in the world.
“Anyway, my business partner and I worked hard to get that house finished. Gillian was ecstatic the day she and the twins moved in. She’d felt so guilty about bunking with Mom and Dad. The twins were younger then and kept waking at night, which she thought wore out our parents.” He shook his head. “Truth was it did but they loved having her and their grandchildren with them. Especially later when—” Rick choked off the rest.
“So they moved into the house you built,” Penny nudged after he’d taken some moments to regroup. Again she marveled at the love welling in Rick’s voice.
“Yes. Mom and Dad bought a swing set for the twins as a welcome-home gift. I got Gill some new furniture and she sewed all her own curtains. It was a great place, so cozy and warm.” Rick glanced at her, his voice soft, oozing pride. “Aside from my parents’ place I’ve never walked into another home and felt so instantly comfortable. Except maybe yours,” he added, looking bewildered. “I get the exact same feeling there.”
“That’s a wonderful compliment and the exact ambience I was going for.” Penny’s chest swelled with pride. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Rick’s gaze held hers, dark, probing. Prickles of awareness skated up and down Penny’s spine but she couldn’t break his scrutiny.
It felt as if they connected but it wasn’t only because of the electricity zapping between them. Penny felt as if they linked on some deeper, intangible level. Except that in the moment it seemed suddenly too intense and that scared her. She didn’t want to get involved again, or more precisely didn’t want to get hurt again. So she immediately put up her barriers by avoiding what was happening and instead pressing Rick for answers.
“And then Gillian died in the fire.”
“Yes. The house burned fast and hot, incredibly hot.” Pain edged Rick’s grim voice.
“How did you get there soon enough to save the twins?” she asked curiously.
“I lived a block away. I chose her lot because I figured I’d be nearby if Gill needed me. I happened to be coming home from closing on a job and saw the flames. I called 911 then pushed my way inside. I managed to get the twins out but—” He shook his head, the words unspoken.
“But you were injured and couldn’t get to Gillian and she died,” Penny finished gently. “Her death wasn’t your fault, Rick.”
“It could be.”
“What do you mean?” Funny how she felt the tiniest bit of fear as she waited for his answer.
“The investigation into that fire has never been closed. Because,” he continued, forestalling her question, “they have not been able to ascertain the cause. Ever since the fire the authorities have been focusing on the building to determine the cause.”
“They’re not now?” she asked and felt a shiver of fear when he shook his head.
“They’re now suggesting there was something faulty in the construction of the house, which caused Gillian’s death.” Rick turned slightly, his dark eyes revealing his inner torture. “I can’t shake this feeling that something I did caused Gillian’s death and it’s eating me up.”
“You didn’t.” Stunned both by his admission and her own certainty, Penny couldn’t find the right words to reassure him.
“The twins are orphans because of me,” he rasped.
“No.” That much she knew for certain. “You’d never take a shortcut that would cause such terrible repercussions. I know that about you, Rick. I’ve seen your vigilance in action every morning.”
“You don’t understand.” He raked a hand through his hair, obviously distraught. “There are a thousand things to oversee on a job site. We were hurrying to get Gill into that house, pushing hard. Maybe there was something I missed.”
“I don’t believe that and neither do you.” Penny grasped his arm, determined to help him break free of these guilty feelings. “You know in your heart that you crossed every t and dotted every i.”
“That’s the thing. I don’t know.” Rick’s voice was tight. “I was working so many hours that I usually fell into bed each night.” His face looked haggard in the bright sun, the scar standing out like a beacon. “What if I missed—?”
“Stop it. Don’t think like that,” she ordered but he simply watched her with pity.
“I have to think like that, Penny. I saw my lawyer when I went to Phoenix. Apparently some new investigator they’re bringing in is suggesting Gillian’s home was improperly wired and that’s what caused the fire.”
She stared at him aghast.
“They’re talking about charges, Penny.” Rick’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I could go to prison for causing my own sister’s death.”
Penny sat frozen, unable to console him, even unable to think.
The only thing she could do was beg God for help.
Chapter Ten
Penny pulled into Rick’s driveway on Saturday evening, still shaken by what he’d told her. His confession had left her feeling unprepared to join him and his family for a happy time.
“Glad you came.” Oddly, Rick’s warm brown eyes and welcoming smile didn’t reassure her.
Was that because she liked the way he slid an arm around her waist to shepherd her inside? Really liked the way he made her feel like part of the family by assigning her a job beside his dad? Maybe she liked Rick too much. Maybe she felt uncomfortable because she was letting him get too close.
All Penny knew was that ever since he’d told her about the fire and his fear that he’d be blamed, a frozen part she’d kept tucked deep inside e
ver since her breakup with Todd had been thawing a little more every time she saw Rick.
“I’m so glad you came.” Eva’s smile chased away all doubt about coming. This woman was the most like Penny’s image of what her own mother would be, which seemed odd given they’d only met once before and talked on the phone twice. “I’ve been thinking a lot about you this week, my dear.”
“You have?” Penny frowned then wondered if Rick had said something about the confidences she’d shared. She glanced at him and sighed when, as if he read her thoughts, he shook his head.
“When I’ve had my devotions this week, the Lord seemed to lay thoughts of you on my heart. Is there anything specific I can pray for, Penny?” Eva asked quietly.
“Why don’t you two ladies take some punch out to the deck? You can talk in peace there.” Rick inclined his head toward the boisterous twins, who were playing a game of snap at the kitchen table.
“But Eva was going to make the garlic bread—” Glancing at his wife, David stopped, shook his head. “Mine’s better anyway,” he told Penny with a wink. “You two ladies go ahead and leave all the work to us men.”
“You should have lots of energy for cooking,” Eva teased. “All you did was sit and read on a bench while I shopped.”
“Go while the getting’s good,” he ordered with fake menace, pointing to the French doors that led outside.
“Rick’s house isn’t huge,” Eva said as they walked onto a stone patio with comfy lounge chairs and a black wrought iron table. “But it is perfectly laid out. He took such care to make sure the flow was just right.”
“He built this house?” Surprised, Penny looked around. A children’s play set occupied a sandy square to the left. To the right lay a small herb garden bordered by some shrubs. Colored plastic children’s garden tools stood pushed into the soil. Behind that was a glass enclosure around a shimmering pool. “It’s much different than anything else he’s done, isn’t it?”
“Yes. After his fiancée broke their engagement—” Eva motioned to one of the chairs then sat opposite “—Rick said he wanted a place for the twins that would be their own, a place they could always come back to. A home. He built this place totally with them in mind.”
“Very thoughtful.” Penny thought of her own longing for roots.
“My son is as committed to the twins as if they were his own kids. In fact, now they are his. After her husband died, Gillian named Rick the twins’ legal guardian. She’d witnessed how fast life could change, you see, and she wanted to ensure the twins’ world would remain rock solid. Gilly always said Rick was as dependable as bedrock.” Eva took a moment to regain her composure then forced a smile. “But tell me about you, Penny. What’s happening in your world?”
This woman was so open, so loving, that Penny couldn’t stop herself from explaining her adoption quandary.
“I want children so badly,” she admitted on a huff of relief. It felt wonderful to share her issue with a godly woman she knew would offer her good advice. “But since God didn’t give them to me it somehow seems wrong for me to consider adoption.”
“I can see why you’d think that but you’re forgetting one thing. The nature of God is love,” Eva reminded. “He loves us and don’t forget, we’re His adopted children. Perhaps He’s put adoption on your heart because He has a child He’s chosen for you to love as no one else could.”
“I thought maybe I could adopt Molly’s baby,” Penny said then offered a brief explanation of who Molly was. “But now that she’s so depressed I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask about adopting. Anyway, I’m beginning to doubt it will ever happen for me.”
“Honey, can I say something?” Eva leaned forward at her nod and held out a hand that Penny grasped, loving the warm connection she felt with Rick’s mom. “In my walk with God I’m learning that I can’t always anticipate God’s plan. For me it always works better if I keep my eyes on Him, keep my focus on loving God. And then when He sends a situation or an issue, I’m able to rest in our relationship knowing that He will lead me through it. Does that help?”
“You mean stop fussing and get on with living and let God worry about working it out,” Penny guessed with a grin.
“Basically.” Eva’s tender smile and the squeeze of her fingers before letting go warmed a chilled part of Penny’s heart. Then Katie and Kyle burst through the door and raced across to their play set in the sand. “Ah, here come my sweethearts.”
“I thought that was me,” David teased as he followed, carrying a huge platter. “Time to grill.”
“You’re way better at it than I am so I’ll let you go ahead, Dad.” Rick winked at Penny as he sank into the chair next to her. “While you grill I’ll pick your brains.”
“Not much there to pick through but go ahead.” David flopped the first huge steak on the grill and smiled at the hiss of searing meat. “What’s up?”
“I’m thinking of starting a kind of mentoring program for a couple of the kids who come to Wranglers Ranch.” Rick shrugged at Penny’s surprised stare. “I haven’t got a lot of time to spare, but a few of the regular attendees at the ranch are gung-ho about construction. Actually, two show real talent. They just need direction. What do you think?”
“Sounds like a great way to train your future employees.” David arranged a variety of vegetables on the upper shelf of the barbecue, closed the lid and turned to face his son. “So what’s your concern?”
“It would be a lot of work and I don’t want it to impinge on my time with the twins.” The uncertainty in Rick’s voice touched Penny.
Had either of the men she’d thought herself in love with ever shown such selflessness? She couldn’t remember it. Yet Rick, with the responsibility of two kids and a construction company he was managing on his own, was willing to take the time to lend a hand to kids he didn’t even know. This was a man to admire.
“It’s right to consider the ramifications of your decisions first, before acting,” David mused, forehead creased in thought. “It would be ideal if you could work the apprenticeship of these kids into your regular hours, of course.”
“That was my thought. But there’s the whole insurance issue to consider. And there’s bound to be the inevitable mistake and that will take extra time.” Rick exhaled. “I can’t afford to miss my deadline at Wranglers.”
“I doubt Tanner would be upset,” Penny offered. “I think he’d be appreciative that you’re taking the time to help with his ministry.”
“Yes, he’s already said that. The problem is I’ve got another job slated to start immediately after we complete our Wranglers job on September first.” Rick gazed at her, a gentle smile tipping the corner of his mouth. His smile widened at a whoop from the twins as they careened down their slide. “Ah, to be carefree.”
“Can you put off the next job?” Penny suggested.
“It’s a prestigious project building multifamily community housing that will really help showcase our business name. We’ve already signed the contract,” Rick said. “I can’t delay that project without major penalties, which our company just can’t afford. Especially not now with Greg out.”
“Oh.” Penny sank back into her chair, stumped yet amazed at Rick’s commitment to reach others. This man wasn’t trying to escape responsibility. He was looking for a way to reach out to take on more! And doing it in spite of his personal problems.
“The solution I see is prayer,” Eva said, looking toward her husband, who nodded.
“Lots of it. We need to pray that God will work things out for His will.” David glanced at Penny. “Will you join us in praying for that?”
“Of course.” Penny hadn’t expected them to pray immediately but when David started petitioning God, she quickly bowed her head, silently adding her plea for God to make a way for Rick’s outreach to kids.
When David finished,
Eva added her own prayer.
“And Lord, we ask You to touch Penny, too. Help her to hear Your voice, to rest in You and to wait as You work all things together for good. Bless us now and bless this meal as we enjoy it together. Amen.”
Smiling, David rose to check the barbecue. Penny ignored Rick’s curious stare to beam at Eva.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
“Of course. That’s what we do as Christians,” Rick’s mother responded with a smile as the twins washed their hands under the garden hose. “We pray for one another. Besides, you’re family, remember?”
“I’ll pray for you and David, too,” Penny promised.
“And Rick?” Eva wore a funny expression.
“And Rick and the twins,” Penny agreed.
“Good. We can never have too many prayers.” Eva patted the chairs on either side of her. “Come on, darlings,” she called, her voice light. “I do believe Grandpa has our steaks well burned.”
David held up one black-edged piece of meat and everyone laughed. Except Rick.
He stared directly at Penny, his expression thoughtful, as if he’d just realized something he hadn’t known before. And then he grinned and it was as if they shared a secret between them.
That was when Penny knew that Jared and Todd, both men she’d believed she truly loved, could never have lived up to her dreams for a husband. What she really wanted was to be loved by a man like Rick, a man who believed in the same things she did—God, home and family.
But she couldn’t fall in love with Rick. Especially since he’d given no sign that he was interested in anything more than simple friendship.
Funny, Penny mused. Somehow simple friendship no longer seemed enough.
* * *
A week later Rick sat on the beach at his parents’ lake, enjoying the freedom of a Saturday off work. Penny and the twins were in the water with Molly, trying amid much laughter and teasing, to teach her to swim.
“I’m glad Penny persuaded Molly to come with you today,” his mother said as she sat down on the beach chair nearest him. “A pregnant mother shouldn’t be depressed.”
