Without a Front: The Warrior's Challenge (Chronicles of Alsea Book 3)
Page 6
Tal looked at Salomen and received a slight nod.
“I was actively scanning the emotional landscape at the time. Cullom was at the extreme edge of my range. I didn’t know who he was, but I knew he didn’t belong here—and that he was planning to do something that scared and excited him at the same time. That combination of emotions means danger, and since I sat in that seat every evening…” She shrugged. “The rest was just instinct.”
Jaros took her explanation at face value, but she could feel Shikal and Nikin puzzling over it.
“Do you normally scan the emotional landscape?” Nikin asked.
“Not on a regular basis, no. That’s what my Guards do.”
“What a fortunate coincidence that you happened to be doing it at that moment,” Shikal said.
“It wasn’t coincidence.” Salomen squeezed Tal’s hand, her stress spiking as she took the leap. “We had been doing it every night for six nights by then.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“We weren’t conducting delegate business all those evenings. And we weren’t doing what you were all thinking, either. Andira has been training me since shortly after she arrived.” She took a deep breath and straightened her spine. “I’m a high empath.”
Both Shikal and Nikin gaped at her, while Jaros grinned. “Speedy! You’re so lucky!”
“How in Fahla’s name can you be a high empath?” Shikal demanded. “When did this happen?”
“It didn’t just happen. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember.”
“Salomen Arrin Opah! Are you telling me that you’ve been a high empath all your life and never said a word to your family?”
“Yes, I am.” Salomen’s calm voice belied her distress. “When I was Jaros’s age, I didn’t know anyone else like me, and I didn’t want to be different. And I was afraid to say anything, because if a tester had marked me, they would have taken me away. So I fooled them and made sure that no one ever knew.”
Nikin was wide-eyed. “You fooled the testers?”
“I’ve been carrying this secret forever, and believe me, I never wanted to. But if anyone had found out, none of you would have seen me for five cycles, except for training breaks. And that would have been the positive outcome. The other possibility was too frightening to think about.”
“She had a great deal of strength, but no control,” Tal said. “On my second night here, she probed me without being able to stop herself.”
Shikal and Nikin looked at each other in horror.
“Scared myself halfway to my Return,” Salomen said, attempting to lighten the mood. “Luckily, I picked the best person to get caught by.”
Tal wanted to kiss her for that one. “Once I knew of her talents, I couldn’t allow things to go on as they had been. The law exists for a reason. So I made her a deal: if she would allow me to instruct her in basic techniques, I would waive the full training requirement. That’s what we were doing every night in my room, training her to control and focus her senses. She’s extremely gifted. And if you could see how hard she’s worked and how astonishing her growth has been, you would be very proud of her. I certainly am.”
Shikal turned away, shaking his head. “This is too much to take in. We should be discussing this in the parlor over a new bottle of spirits.”
“I’m with you.” Nikin followed him down the hall, while Salomen turned and rested her forehead on Tal’s shoulder.
“It will be fine,” Tal said quietly, stroking her dark hair. “You knew they would be shocked. They’ll adapt.”
“I know.” Salomen lifted her head. “That doesn’t make it any easier.”
“Nothing worthwhile is easy,” Micah said. “But when your family has moved through this, you’ll be living openly at last. Keep your eye on that.”
“That’s what I’m telling myself,” she said, and set off after her father and brother. Tal, Micah, and a frowning Jaros trailed behind.
“Why is Father so upset? Don’t you think it’s speedy that Salomen is a high empath?”
“I think it’s very speedy,” she assured him. “Your father just needs a little time to get used to the idea.”
He shrugged. “What idea? It’s not like she’s any different. She’s Salomen.”
Tal and Micah shared a smile over his head.
They arrived at the parlor in time to see Shikal opening a second bottle of spirits. The room was silent as he poured five glasses, filled a sixth with grainstem juice for Jaros, then stood waiting while each person took a glass and found a seat.
“This is now a family council,” he said. “Start from the beginning, and don’t leave anything out.”
Salomen sipped her drink, set it on the table beside her chair, and began speaking. For a quarter hantick Tal silently held her hand, until Salomen’s tale had brought her family up to the present.
“When Andira caught me probing her, I thought my world had come to an end,” she said. “I had probably done that hundreds of times before, but never knew it and never got caught, because there’s no one in Granelle who has the skills to detect it. Or at least, no one I come in regular contact with. I had no idea how strong I was. She told me that the Whitemoon Sensoral Institute would take me—”
“Whitemoon!” Nikin exclaimed. “That’s the best institute on Alsea!” He looked at Tal for confirmation.
“They would have taken her in a heartbeat. Salomen has an extraordinary gift.”
“It didn’t feel like a gift to me. It was just something I had to hide. Then Andira came and showed me a whole new world on our first night of training. For the first time, I didn’t have to hide, and I was finally learning how to control my powers. It was…magical. This last moon has been magical.” A smile wreathed her face. “To truly be myself with someone, to let go of a secret I’d been carrying all my life—every night, I walked up those stairs and shed a burden with each step. That’s why I’m telling you now. I cannot bear that burden anymore. I need to be who I am. And I’m so sorry that I couldn’t tell you before.”
No one spoke, and Salomen shrank against Tal, her courage failing her at last.
Tal wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. “You did well,” she whispered.
Salomen didn’t respond. She was focused on her father, who was staring into his glass and looking very stern indeed. But his expression covered a deep pain of disappointment, and she shivered with it.
“I understand your original decision with the testers,” he said. “You were ten and you were afraid. And I understand your fear of being different and why you would have kept your secret as a pre-Rite child, though I grieve that neither I nor your mother were given the opportunity to help you. What I don’t understand is why you continued to keep this secret after your Rite of Ascension. How could you be afraid of your own family? Why didn’t you trust us?”
“It was not about trust.” Salomen’s voice was shaky. “I have always trusted you, and I’ve always loved you. Everything I’ve done, I did to keep my family whole. I know this is hard for you, but please look at it from my point of view. How was I to go to you or Mother and tell you I had been keeping a secret for twenty cycles? How do you start a conversation like that? Would you have been any less hurt than you are now? At twenty-five cycles it was even harder, and at thirty it was harder yet. A secret grows more entrenched the longer it’s kept—that’s a lesson I’ve learned far too well.”
“It’s just…” He stopped, blinked hard, and tried again. “I could have helped you, but you never allowed it. And you still wouldn’t, even now. If this disaster hadn’t forced your hand, I might have gone to my Return without knowing my own daughter. Herot won’t let me reach him, and now I find that you’ve been holding yourself away your whole life…” His eyes reddened. “Have I been such a poor parent?”
“Father, no…” Salomen was too crushed to say any more. She covered her mouth, fighting her own tears, and Tal had had enough.
“She wasn’t forced into anything. She’s been wanting to tell you for several ninedays now, ever since she began learning to control her gift. That’s when she finally felt normal, for the first time in her life.”
“But I could have told her she was normal. I could have told her that when she was ten.”
Tal shook her head. “She wouldn’t have believed you. Unless you were prepared to send her to training where she could be with other high empaths, your words would have been just words and she would have known it. You cannot reassure when you do not understand.”
“Lancer Tal,” he said in a stronger tone, “I respect and admire you, but don’t tell me I could not understand my child. Unless you have a child of your own, you have no idea how insulting that is.”
“I meant no insult. But I speak as one who shares Salomen’s gift. It’s impossible to communicate what this power is like and impossible to understand if you’ve never felt it.” She cast about for another way to explain. “You know when your children are happy or upset, yes? You can sense the emotions of your kin?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Then why did you never know that Salomen was desperately lonely?”
He stared at his daughter, his jaw working. “I…should have.”
“You couldn’t, because she was instinctively fronting it. You could never feel what Salomen didn’t want you to. But her senses allow her to feel anything. Anything. Only a very strong and fully trained high empath could maintain a front against her. You could not be expected to know what she was hiding, and she could not communicate what it is that she feels. In a way, you were speaking two different languages.”
“We could show him.” Salomen had finally found her voice again.
Tal reached for her hand. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. You’re right, words will not suffice. I cannot bear the emotions in this room, and I don’t think we can resolve them through talking even if we talked the rest of the day.”
Shikal looked at them curiously. “How could you show us?”
“In a group Sharing,” Tal said.
“But that’s only done at bonding ceremonies,” Nikin said. “You’d need a bond minister.”
“This is part of what you don’t understand. We don’t need a bond minister. Two of the most powerful high empaths on the planet are here in the room with you.”
She waited while they absorbed that concept.
“Salomen is that strong?” Shikal asked.
Tal smiled at her. “I don’t know how strong she is. She’s never been assessed. But I think she may be as strong as I am, and I have the highest rating on the scale.”
“Great Goddess,” mumbled Nikin.
“I want to.” Jaros spoke for the first time. “I’ve never been to a bonding ceremony. And I think you’re being rather hard on Salomen. Why are you making her feel bad? I’m glad she’s telling us.”
Salomen abruptly rose from her chair, pulled Jaros out of his, and squeezed him in a warmron. “Thank you, Jaros.”
“I just don’t see what everyone is so upset about.”
She laughed and kissed him on the forehead. “And that’s precisely why I’m thanking you.” Gently, she pushed him in front of her to the center of the room, where she stood with her hands on his shoulders. “All right, I have one person who’s ready to join Andira and me in a group Sharing. Are there any others?”
Tal silently took her place next to Salomen, met Shikal’s eyes, and waited.
He set his glass down with a click and stood. “I’ll do anything to help my daughter.”
“Well, I’m not missing out on this.” Nikin joined them.
Tal looked over to Micah, the last holdout.
“I’m not a part of this family,” he said.
“You’re a part of my family. Get over here.”
With a look of resignation, he pushed out of his chair and walked over. “Where do you want me?”
“Behind me. Would you get a chair for Jaros, and he can go behind you?”
While Micah fetched a chair for Jaros to stand on, Salomen said, “I would like Father behind me.”
“I guess I know where I’m going,” Nikin said as he waited for his father to get into position.
Tal watched Jaros climb up onto his chair. “All you have to do is put your hand on Colonel Micah’s neck.”
His eyes were wide as he nodded.
Tal faced Salomen and waited until she felt the warm touch of Micah’s hand. “Jaros, are you there?”
“I’m ready.”
“Are you in place, Nikin?” Salomen asked.
“Yes.”
She smiled at Tal. “We’re ready on this side.”
Slowly, relishing the moment, Tal reached out to cup her jaw. She rested her other hand on the back of Salomen’s neck, her fingers bumping into Shikal’s as she found the right spot. Salomen mirrored her position, and with one last look into each other’s eyes, they touched their foreheads together.
The first thing she thought was how nice it was to not worry about an empathic flash. Then her senses abruptly expanded as they joined with Salomen’s in a molten rush. Her hands grew warm, and she felt that heat travel through to Micah behind her and Jaros behind him. Focusing on Salomen, she lifted their joint emotions and directed them toward the others in the link, waiting as they absorbed the gift. Salomen’s pain dissipated into the link, the Sharing relieving her of sole ownership, while she reveled in the unimpeded access to her family.
In a group Sharing, emotions were sent outward from the couple at the center, retaining the privacy of all other participants. But Tal and Salomen were not limited by a bond minister and allowed themselves access to everyone in the link. Tal was pleased to sense Shikal’s hurt confusion fading into comprehension. Jaros was a bright point, radiating awe and appreciation for this new experience. Nikin’s quiet love for his sister was a steady, strong current, and Micah’s emotions carried a warmth that might have surprised those who did not see beyond his gruff exterior. They also carried the weight of failure, and Tal realized too late that she should not have pushed him into taking part. She sent him a tendril of reassurance, but when he didn’t react, she knew he had not been able to pick it out from the rest.
She held their link together until she was sure that Salomen’s family had received the full impact. A normal group Sharing would have ended there, but this had a greater purpose.
“Let me show you what Salomen has been practicing,” she said, and took them beyond the walls of the house to settle on the first individual they found. “That’s Varsi. Judging by what we’re feeling, I’d guess she lost at tiles last night.” She moved on, naming each of the Guards they came across near the house, then found another farther out. “And that’s Gehrain. Now we know who Varsi lost to. You would think she’d have learned by now.”
One by one, she showed them each of the Guards on their property, including the six who were now at the outer edges of Hol-Opah, creating an overlapping scanning network to be certain that no one came through their empathic net. “Feel the effort they’re making?” she asked. “Active scanning is very draining. Guards train long and hard to arrive at a point where they can actively scan for up to two hanticks before needing a break. Normally, they would scan once every few ticks rather than continuously, but they’re on the highest alert level now.”
She lifted away from the outer Guards and brought them all back in, taking the time to make sure everyone was settled before breaking her link to the others. She and Salomen remained in their position, reveling in their own private Sharing for a few precious pipticks. It took a considerable act of will to break away and stand up s
traight.
The others had shifted around them and were watching with wide eyes.
“I have never felt the like,” Shikal said. “Not even during a bonding ceremony.”
Nikin and Micah echoed his sentiments, while Jaros was too awed to speak.
“That would never happen in a bonding ceremony,” Tal said. “Most bond ministers wouldn’t have the power to do the long-distance scanning that we just showed you. Even if they did, they wouldn’t use it during a ceremony.”
“And you can do this?” Shikal asked Salomen. “Without Sharing?”
She nodded. “I’m not skilled at it yet. I can’t pick out individuals the way Andira can, unless it’s one of you. But I can sense them, yes.”
He made his way to his chair and sat heavily. “It’s as if I’ve had a winden living right here in my house and never known it. You can reach heights I never imagined.” He looked up at Tal. “You were right. Even after experiencing it, I’m not sure I can understand it.”
Salomen knelt by his chair. “You don’t have to understand. I just needed you to know, and to accept it.”
“You’re my daughter. I would love you if you were sonsales. Why would I love you any less for flying so high?”
“I never worried about you loving me less. I worried about hurting you.”
“And what hurts me most is knowing that I wasn’t able to save you from being hurt,” he said. “Aren’t we a pair?”
Salomen laughed as she took his hand in hers. “We are. And as far as understanding—ask me anything, and I’ll tell you as best I can. Now that you all know, I want you to know as much as possible. I’m through with secrets.”
“I don’t think you are,” Nikin said, attracting every eye in the room. He raised his eyebrows at his sister. “There’s something you aren’t telling us. Or did you just trust the Sharing to make it clear?”
She rose, still holding Shikal’s hand, and smiled at him. “Well…I did think it would be nice to not have to confess two things in one day.”