So Mote it Be

by Isobel Bird

  “The Four of Cups,” said Archer. “It suggests that you’re bored with things and want them to change, but that perhaps you’re hesitant about making the changes you need to.”

  Kate didn’t say anything. It was strange that Archer could tell so many things about her that were true just from looking at the cards. She had been thinking about spiritual things a lot lately, and she was definitely hesitant about making changes in her life. She wondered what would come next.

  Archer laid out four more cards, placing them around the center cards. She looked at the arrangement for a moment. “You’ve had to make some difficult choices lately, haven’t you?” she asked. “And some things have been happening that haven’t been very easy to deal with, although some of them have been good.”

  Kate thought about everything that had been going on. She’d certainly gotten a lot of the things she’d asked for, but they hadn’t turned out the way she’d wanted them to. And a lot of good things had happened, like meeting Annie and Cooper, but she didn’t know how to make them fit into the rest of her life.

  “It’s been a rough week or so,” she admitted. “All kinds of things have been going on, and I’m not sure what any of it means.”

  “You’re unsure of what to do,” said Archer. “Part of you wants one thing, but another part is afraid to let go and make the changes that would let you have that thing you want.”

  “How do you know all that?” Kate asked, a little freaked out that her life seemed to be such an open book.

  Archer pointed to the cards one at a time. “The Ace of Cups,” she said, indicating the card at the top of the arrangement. It showed a sun rising out of a cup. “It suggests that what you really want is to be happy, to experience the joy of living a full life. But then there’s the Five of Cups beneath you.” She tapped the card at the bottom of the arrangement, which had an image of a figure looking at three cups that had spilled on the ground. Two other cups sat behind the figure, unnoticed. “That card indicates that you recently got something you thought you wanted, but that you lost something else in the process.”

  The spells, Kate thought to herself. She certainly had gotten something that she’d thought she wanted, but it had caused a lot of problems. And every time she had to make a choice between two things, she seemed to make the wrong one. Looking at the Five of Cups, she suddenly thought that the three spilled cups reminded her of her friendship with Jessica, Tara, and Sherrie, while the two full cups made her think of Annie and Cooper. But what that all meant, she didn’t know.

  “These other two cards indicate things that have recently happened and things that might happen in the near future,” Archer continued. “This card is the Tower. See how the lightning is hitting the top of it and it seems to be on fire?”

  Kate looked at the card. It made her feel nervous. There was something ominous about it. “Is it bad?” she asked.

  “None of the cards are necessarily bad,” Archer answered. “They simply represent influences that are affecting a situation. This card tells me that you’ve probably recently experienced some dramatic change in your life. Something that made you rethink a lot of what you thought was true. And this card,” she said, picking up a card showing two people holding one another, “shows me that whatever happened to you is forcing you to choose between two very powerful things. This is the Lovers. They represent having to decide between opposing forces.”

  That was something Kate could definitely relate to. She was feeling pulled in many different directions: between her old friends and her new ones, between fitting in and being different. The card also made her think of Scott, and how she was glad they were together but couldn’t help feeling a little guilty about how it had come to be.

  “How do I make these decisions?” she asked Archer.

  “The cards don’t tell you what to do,” Archer said. “They just tell you what might happen if you do certain things or don’t do them. Let’s look at the last four.”

  She took the remaining cards and arranged them in a straight line up one side of the table, almost like a ladder. The bottom one showed a woman tied with ropes and blindfolded. Eight swords surrounded her, stuck into the ground.

  “She looks like a prisoner,” Kate said.

  “She is,” said Archer. “She can’t make up her mind. She feels trapped by her circumstances and doesn’t know how to get free.”

  “Who is she?” Kate asked. As she looked at the bound woman, she felt really sorry for her.

  “She’s you,” said Archer. “This card represents how you feel about your situation.”

  Kate stared at the card. That’s me, she thought sadly. I do feel trapped by all of this and I don’t know how to get free. She hoped the answer would be found in the rest of the cards.

  “And who is that?” she asked, looking at the next card. It depicted a young person holding a cup. A fish was leaping up from the water in the cup. “Is that me, too?”

  “The Page of Cups,” Archer told her. “It usually represents an artistic young person who is trying to help you. Does that sound like anyone in your life?”

  Annie, Kate thought instantly, or maybe even Cooper. Both of them fit the description, but in different ways. “I think I know who it is,” she told Archer. “Does that mean she’s important in all of this?”

  “She could be,” Archer said. “It depends on whether or not you let her help you.”

  The next card was a picture of a man hanging upside down from a tree. His foot was tied to one of the branches, and his hands were behind his back.

  “Is he dead?” Kate asked, hoping the card didn’t signify something she didn’t want to hear. She was still thinking about how Archer had suggested that she needed the person represented by the Page of Cups to help her. Annie and Cooper had both offered to do that, and she’d turned them down. She hoped she hadn’t made a terrible mistake.

  “No,” said Archer. “But he symbolizes a kind of death. He’s the Hanged Man, and he represents letting go of old ideas and ways of thinking in order to move forward in life. The card appearing here suggests that you want to move forward but are having trouble doing that.”

  “And what’s this last card?” said Kate. She picked up the final card and looked at it. It was a beautiful picture of three young women holding cups. They seemed to be toasting one another, and they were smiling and happy. Behind them a giant yellow flower was opening up.

  “The Three of Cups,” said Archer. “One of my favorite cards. It represents the perfection of friendship and the beginning of something very special.”

  “Is that what’s going to happen then?” asked Kate hopefully. It didn’t seem like a bad card to end with to her.

  “It could,” said Archer. “But only if you make it happen. It seems there are some things standing in your way. You’re going to have to make some difficult choices if you really want to achieve what the Three of Cups represents.”

  Kate looked at all of the cards. She’d never seen any of them before, but as she looked at them all laid out she could almost understand the story they told. She knew it was a story about her and about what she was going through and needed to do. But she didn’t know if she’d be able to do it.

  “Thanks for doing that,” she said to Archer, who was gathering up the cards and putting them back in their box.

  “It’s my pleasure,” she said. “I hope it helped some.”

  “It did,” Kate said. “I have a lot to think about now.”

  Archer sat back in her chair and drank some of her tea. “What was it you wanted to ask Sophia?” she said.

  Pouring out the whole, sad story took some time, and when Kate looked up at the wall and noticed the hour on the clock, she realized more time had passed than she had thought. Her mother would be home soon, and she had to go.

  “Thanks again for the Tarot card reading,” Kate said as she stood up and put on her jacket.

  Archer followed Kate back into the main part of the store. She opened a drawer an
d pulled something out, then handed it to Kate. It was a card printed with the picture from the Three of Cups.

  “Take this with you,” Archer said. “It might help remind you of your reading and of what you need to do.”

  Kate took the card and looked at the faces of the three women on it. Their eyes looked into hers. “Thanks,” she said as she slipped the card into her pocket. “And I think I know what my next step has to be.”

  CHAPTER 15

  The next morning Kate got to school early and went looking for Cooper and Annie. She couldn’t find Annie, but she found Cooper in the music room.

  “You were right,” she said.

  “About what?” Cooper responded.

  “About everything,” Kate said. “About my being afraid. About my friends. I am scared.”

  “And what are you going to do about that?” asked Cooper.

  “I’m not really sure yet,” Kate said. “But I know what I’m going to do first. What we are going to do first. A ritual. Tomorrow night. It’s the full moon. That’s supposed to be good for doing magic, right?”

  Cooper shook her head. “You’re really something else,” she said. “One minute you pretend you don’t know me and let your friend take the blame for something you caused, and the next you come around all filled with plans for doing a ritual. Do you expect me to be all happy about this? And what about Annie? Do you think she’s really going to want to do something to help you after everything you’ve done?”

  Kate didn’t know what to say. All night she’d been thinking about her plan, and it hadn’t gone anything like this. The Tarot cards seemed to be telling her that she needed to get back together with Annie and Cooper.

  “I haven’t talked to Annie about it yet,” Kate admitted. “I haven’t seen her.”

  “That’s because she’s not coming to school,” Cooper said.

  “What do you mean?” Kate asked. “Is she sick?”

  “She was suspended,” Cooper said. “The school called last night and told her that they’d decided to hold a disciplinary hearing. Apparently Terri’s parents decided to make a stink. And until this is settled, Annie’s out of here.”

  “But she didn’t do anything!” Kate protested.

  “Try telling that to them,” Cooper said. “Or maybe you’d just rather keep your mouth shut and stay out of trouble yourself.”

  Kate started to speak but Cooper was walking away from her down the hall and not looking back.

  Kate ran after her. “Come on, Cooper,” she said. “I said I was sorry. I said I wanted to do another ritual. What else do I have to do to convince you that I’m serious?”

  Cooper stopped in the middle of the hall and turned to face Kate. “You know what I want you to do?” she said. “I want you to stay away from me. Fix your own problems, and leave me out of it. I don’t need your stupid little friends looking down their noses at me. I don’t need you talking to me only when it’s convenient or when you need something. I don’t need any of it.”

  She stormed off, leaving Kate standing alone in the hallway. Kate looked around and saw that one of her Valentine’s Day queen posters was staring back at her. Her smiling face seemed to mock her, laughing stupidly. Looking at it made Kate furious, and she ran up and snatched it from the wall. Ripping it in half, she threw the pieces on the floor. Then she ran to another one hanging farther down the hall and ripped that one off the wall, too.

  She found herself running through the school, looking for pictures of herself and tearing them down. Tears of frustration streamed down her cheeks as she sought out every last poster and ripped them to pieces. As she destroyed each one, she felt herself letting go of something inside. It was like each piece of paper she tore off was a piece of the unhappiness that had been building up in her ever since things began to go wrong.

  When she found the last poster and destroyed it, she knew what she had to do next. Getting her things from her locker, she ran out the front doors and down the street. She didn’t care that she was skipping school. She didn’t care that she might get into trouble. She had something more important to do.

  She ran until she got to Annie’s house, where she held the buzzer down until she heard someone coming. When the door opened and she saw Annie standing inside, she started crying again.

  “Oh, Annie,” she said. “I’m so sorry for everything. I’m sorry about asking for your help and then hurting your feelings. I’m sorry about letting you take the blame for me and not standing up for you. I’m sorry about pretending to not know you. I’m sorry about it all. Can you please forgive me?” She was sobbing now, and she knew she must look awful.

  “Come inside,” said Annie. “You’ll catch cold standing there like that.”

  Kate went in, and Annie shut the door.

  “I’m sorry for coming over like this,” Kate said. She was afraid that if she stopped talking Annie would tell her to go away. “But after Archer did the Tarot card reading and Cooper yelled at me and—”

  “Slow down,” Annie said. “Who’s Archer? And what Tarot card reading?”

  Kate tried to stop crying. She wiped her eyes on her coat sleeve and then remembered the card in her pocket. She took it out and showed it to Annie.

  “See,” she said. “It’s you and me and Cooper. It’s what’s supposed to happen. But I was afraid of letting it happen. I still am, I guess. But I know we have to do a ritual. At least one more, to make everything okay again.”

  “I think you should start at the beginning,” Annie said, looking at the card. “This sounds like a good story.”

  She and Kate went up to her room and sat down. Kate began by telling Annie how Cooper had chased after her the day before, and how she’d then gone to Crones’ Circle and talked to Archer.

  “I really can’t tell you how sorry I am about everything,” Kate said. “I don’t expect you to understand or to forgive me. I know I acted like a real jerk.”

  “I can’t argue with that,” Annie said. “But I do sort of understand. Believe me, I know what it’s like to have people think you’re weird.”

  “But you’re not weird,” Kate said, taking Annie’s hand. “You’re really great. I can’t imagine anyone else who would still talk to me after all of this. Cooper sure won’t.”

  “Let me talk to her,” Annie said. “But you still haven’t told me what your big plan is for this ritual.”

  Kate told Annie about the ritual she had thought of the night before. When she was done, she looked at Annie expectantly. “So, what do you think?”

  “I think it sounds great,” said Annie. “How did you think of it?”

  “I was looking at the card Archer gave me and thinking about my Tarot reading,” Kate said. “And suddenly I had this vision of what we could do. Do you think it will work?”

  “Has anything else we’ve tried?” said Annie. “It can’t hurt. And what better night to do it than on the full moon.”

  “Then you’ll talk to Cooper and try to get her to come?” asked Kate.

  Annie promised to try. Then Kate walked back to school, sneaking in just in time to get to her art class. As she worked on the painting she was doing, she thought more about the ritual she had in mind. She hoped that Cooper would agree to participate. But she couldn’t worry about that. She and Annie could do it alone if they really had to. Either way, she had a lot of planning to do so she would be ready.

  After school she went home and got to work. Going into her mother’s sewing room, she opened the big trunk that contained all the material her mother used for her various projects. Kate looked through the different pieces of cloth and selected three that she really liked. One was a dark blue, another forest green, and the third a rich purple. She took the material and laid it out on the table her mother used for cutting out patterns. Then she got out the scissors and went to work.

  A couple of hours later she was finished. She looked at her handiwork and was satisfied. The robes weren’t perfect, but they would do. She cleaned up the bits
of cloth and pieces of thread and folded the robes. Then she went into her room, took out a notebook, and began to write.

  When she finally went to bed that night, she was exhausted and happy. Now, if Annie had done her part everything would be okay. She would know in the morning.

  Wednesday dawned clear and cold. When Kate looked out her window she saw a pure blue winter sky without a cloud in it. She hoped it would be the same way that evening.

  While she was at her locker, Cooper approached her. “All right,” she said. “I’m in. Annie called last night and said the two of you made all nice and I shouldn’t be pissed off at you anymore. She also said you had some great idea. Want to let me in on it?”

  “Just be at Ryder Beach tonight,” Kate said.

  “The beach?” Cooper said. “Are you nuts? It will be freezing.”

  “I know,” said Kate. “But be there anyway. Do you know the little cove past the rocks at the far end of the beach?”

  “Yeah,” said Cooper. “I go there to work on songs sometimes.”

  “Meet us there at eight,” Kate said. “Here’s what you need to bring.” She handed Cooper a list.

  “Okay,” said Cooper after scanning the list. “It’s your party.”

  “See you at eight,” Kate said.

  The rest of the day crawled by as Kate waited for the time when she could go home and get ready. She also had to get through basketball practice, so it was after six when she got home. She barely said a word during dinner as she wolfed down the lasagna her mother had made.

  “What’s the rush?” her father asked as she cleared her plate.

  “I’m going to Tara’s house to study,” Kate said. “We have a big test tomorrow, and I need to go over a lot of stuff.” She felt bad about making up a story, but it was partly true. They were having another quiz in chemistry, and she was going to see her friends, just not Tara. And she wouldn’t be doing any studying.

  In her room, she packed a backpack with the things she needed. Going into her closet, she took out the box containing the candles and the Ken doll. She put everything into the backpack, along with the robes she’d made and her notebook. Then she went downstairs, said good-bye to her parents, and left the house.