by Cilla Lee
**
I'd finish the last of the baby’s room by the weekend, now I knew it was a boy I'd decorated it with magnolia walls and carpet with light blue curtains with matching nursing rocker chair white cot, changing table and a set of white and blue pictures on the wall and loads of storage for toys. A large toy chest the bedding is all light blues to match the curtains and the photo of Niya and I, in a picture frame it was the same picture she has in her locket.
“Hay baby boy” my mom says as she walked into the nursery “Wow this looks so good baby when are you going to show Niya”
“I don't know I was ganna invite her over tomorrow so we can talk about names and stuff, I was ganna cook her dinner and show her then”
“That's sounds like a plan baby” she kisses me on the cheek but looks up at me
“What?”
“I just don't want you to get your hopes up that's all”
“I know what I'm doin' mom” she smiles but I can see it's forced
“Tobias I'm your mom, I'm always going to worry about you ok”
“Ok mom I love you” I pull her in for a hug
“I love you more” she says
After she leaves I sit in my son’s room for ages just staring at the photo of us (fuck I miss her so much) I remember the day the picture was taken
**
“Got my new phone” Stryker had said walkin' up to Niya and I, we were sitting outside of the clubhouse talkin' about nothin' in particular anything she said to me interested me. I could listen to her talk about anything as long as she was with me, I'd pulled her up and stood behind her and I kissed her neck smellin' her (fuck she always smelt amazin')
“Suck my dick” he’d said makin’ us both laugh, how did my life turn to shit so fast. One minute I had everything, the girl I loved a future and in one fucked up moment it was gone? But I was fuckin' determined to get the girl back, earn her love and have the future we always wanted.
Chapter Six
Niya
“Argh I yell”
“Honey, are you ok” Maggie calls through my door
“I'm fine and I burst into tears” Maggie opens the door and sees me sitting on the end of the bed
“What's wrong?” she asks me
“My shoes don't fit me” I tell her
“And that's why your crying” I nod my head wiping away the tears
“I'm a fat pig Maggie look at me I've doubled in size, nothing fits and I need to pee all the time”
“Oh honey” she laughs “it's not that bad”
“It is I can't do my shoes up” I start to cry again and she pulls me in for a hug
“Let me do it” she bends down and does up my sandals and I instantly feel like an idiot (I'm crying because I can't do my shoes up)
“Thank you, Mag’s,” I sniffle
“You’re welcome now come on let’s get you feed”
“Yes please” she laughs because I love eating, I waddle down to the kitchen and sit. I can't even pull the chair in any more my stomach hitting the edge, so I just lean over in an awkward position and eat my cereal
“What the fuck are you doing Niya?” Razor asks me
“I don't fit” they both look at each other and I can see they both want to laugh “It's not funny” they both lose it and start laughing. I watch them both for a minute and feel myself smile, then I lose it and start to as well and before I know it where all laughing our asses off and I feel better (sandal drama over) “Ok I'm out see you both later” I give them both a kiss and head to work. My drive to work is relaxing for a change there's no traffic, the music on the radio is good and the sun is shining. I'm feeling really good until I pull into the parking lot and Colt is sitting on his bike.... “Fuck” It takes me a minute to get out and I waddle to the shop trying to ignore him.
“Mornin’ Niya” he says walking up to me smiling and I want to punch for being so dam good looking
“What do you want Colt?”
“We need to talk”
“About?”
“Our son for one”
“Really why?”
“Niya please” he grabs my arm and I stop
“What do you want to talk about Colt?”
“Can you come to my house after work”
“No, I don't think that's a good idea”
“Please baby” he takes a step towards me and I freeze
“Colt please don't call me that”
“Niya please, just come to mine we really need to talk. I'll even cook you, dinner” I look at him skeptically (he knows my kryptonite, god dammit)
“You'll cook me dinner” I ask the mention of food lately has my ears pricking and my stomach rumbling
“Anything you want” he says
“Anything?” I think about it for a minute, I have been craving lasagna “Ok I want lasagna”
“Lasagna?”
“Yep that's what I want” my mouth watering at the thought of it
“Fine lasagna it is around five-thirty”
“Um hum I'll be there text me the address”
“I don't have your number”
“Oh, um well send it to Cuff and I'll get it off of him”
“Oh, ok I'll see you later right” I nod and walk to the shop, as I open the door Cuff, Socket and Chelsea are all standing there
“Well” Chelsea asks me
“He wants me to go to dinner with him at his house” I tell the three of them
“And are you going” Cuff asks
“Yes, I am”
“Ha... pay up fuckers” the two of them hand him twenty dollars each
“Fuck Niya girl you make me more money than the casino's do” Cuff says smiling, I shake my head at him
“Fuck you Cuff” I give him the finger and everyone laughs
**
Driving to Colt’s house after work was nerve raking the baby was so active by the time I got to the house and I needed to go to pee again. It was a cute little yellow cottage style house wrap around porch and white shutters the garden was perfectly tendered and it had a porch swing, I look up and I see him coming out the door, he comes down and opens my door and helps me out (god he looks gorgeous) he's in his light blue worn out jeans a white t-shirt and no shoes (god even his bare feet are turning me on) and he smells amazing... (fuck) I scold myself. When he reaches for my hand, I take it otherwise I'm grabbing the sides of the car and I'm trying to drag my fat ass out... fuck I hate being pregnant and I hate being short...
“Hay you made it”
“Yeah the directions where easy enough you can practically see Maggie and Razor’s from here”
“Come on” he takes me up the stairs and opens the front screen door the smell of the Lasagna cooking has my tummy rumbling and my mouth watering
“Nice place” I tell him as I look around
“Thanks”
“Um Colt where's your bathroom”
“Oh, you can use the one just down the hall to the left”
“Thanks” I waddle down the hall and fine the bathroom, it's beautiful light brown subway tiles and cream Travertine tiles makes it look huge, everything is new and it has an amazing spa bath I can just imagine myself laying in there with a few candles loads of bubbles and a glass of wine
“Niya you ok in there” I'm pulled out of my daydream and back to reality
“Yeah I'm fine I'll be out in a minute”
“Do you want a drink or something”
“Um no I'm good”
“Ok”
Come on girl you can do this stick to the plan, talk, eat, leave and that's it. I open the door and make my way to the kitchen, it’s a huge country style kitchen with all new appliances dark wood cabinets granite work tops and cream and browns like the bathroom
“Wow Colt this place is nice, I love your tub”
“You can use it any time you want” he tells me smiling
“Thanks, so what do you want to talk about” I ignore his comment about the tub
“I thought we could have dinner first you hungry”
“Always” I whisper
“Ok sit down”
The smell is amazing my mouth watering with anticipation and the baby kicking with excitement food always gets me excited lately. As he places it in front of me it smells even better
“You baked this?” I ask him looking a bit surprised
“Yes, with my own two hands” he lifts his hands up smiling (god I love his smile)
“You did?”
“Yes, just eat do you want a drink” a milk please
“Milk”
“Yeah this kid loves milk”
“Ok” he gets me a large glass of milk
“Here you go” he places it in front of me, my first bite has me moaning and Colt stops to look at me smiling
“Wow Colt this is really good”
“Thanks mom told me how to cook it”
“Well you done well” we sit in silence the rest of the meal glancing at each other every now and then but I keep my head down really not sure what to say or even where to look
“Do you want any desert I have Chocolate cake”
“Chocolate cake”
“Yep triple Choc”
“Did you bake it?” he shakes his head no
“Nah Grandma did”
“Well I'll have a big piece than, I wouldn't want to offend her by not having a piece” he smiles
“No, we wouldn't want to do that, that women can get downright abusive when she gets pissed off” and I watch as he rubs his face smiling
“What do you mean by that?” I ask curious
“Let’s just say after you left I lost my way and Grandma showed me the right path”
“The right path” he chuckles
“Yeah with her palm and my face” I frown at him
“She hit you” he looks at me his face serious
“Yeah baby but it was something I needed”
“Colt” he shakes his head at me. He cuts us both two huge pieces of Chocolate cake and comes and sits next to me instead of across from me and everything in me wants to lean into him like I always did when we sat together but I don't. I moan as I take the first bite and Colt smiles again
“Good” I nod with a mouthful of Chocolaty goodness. When I finish the last bite, I feel a bit sad it's all gone
“Did you like” Colt asks me and I nod
“That was delicious Colt thank your Grandma for me”
“I will Niya” my heart skips a beat because I feel disappointed he didn't call me baby, I watch as he loads the dishwasher
“Do you want any help?”
“I got it” I stand up and have a look around
“So, who decorated?” I ask
“Mom and Grandma helped but I picked most of the stuff”
“Oh yeah it's really nice you have good taste”
“Thanks”
“So, Colt why am I here” I ask as he comes into the sitting room
“Come on I want to show you something” he takes my hand and we walk back down the hallway and he stops on the third door
“What's in there?”
“Open it and see” I freeze the last door I opened had Colt and Star naked in bed and I stop my heart pounding
“Colt”
“Niya just open it” I slowly turn the handle and push the door open and freeze. (Oh my god) I walk in and look around not saying a word a tear slides down my cheek, I run my hands over the beautiful white cot
“Is this for when the baby stays here” I turn and look at him, he walks in and grabs my hands and brings them to his lips
“No baby this is our sons room where he'll be living all the time”
“What? Colt.... no” I shake my head and push passed him, half way down the hall he stops me and wraps his arms around me pulling my back to his front
“Baby I want you here in our home with our son, I want my Grandmothers ring on your finger and for you to have my last name and for you to be in our bed every night. He pulls me back with him until we get to the end of the hall and he pushes the door open, he walks me in still holding me tight. There’s a huge bed in the room mahogany side tables and dresser the same cream throughout and a plush cream carpet.
“Colt it's beautiful but I'm not ready, you slept with that bitch and broke my heart”
“Baby please, I'm so sorry I was so fuckin' drunk but I'm fuckin' tellin' you, I didn't fuck Star please believe me I didn't”
“I saw you Colt in bed with her”
“Yeah but I didn't fuck her” I push him away but he holds on tight
“You know Colt in all the years I lived with my dad through all of the beatings that I endured the broken bones the punches fat lips bruises dislocated limbs, him even almost killing me a few times all of that fucked up shit that I went through, nothing compares to what you did to me”
“Fuck Niya...baby please I'm telling the truth, I wouldn't do that to you to us, I love you so much I want us to be a family” he says placing his hands over my belly
“Please just give us a chance that's all I'm asking for just a chance for our son baby please” I push him back
“That's low Colt using our son as an excuse”
“Niya” I shake my head feeling scared (what if I did give him a chance and he broke my heart again)
“How do I know you won't hurt me again Colt”
“Because I haven't done anything wrong... please baby please” he falls to the floor wrapping his arms around my legs tight “Please” I lift my head (god give me strength) we stand like that for ages and I can see the pain, he's hurting just as much as me and I want to reach down and run my fingers through his hair but I stop myself “Please baby” he whispers I feel the pain right to my heart (just give it a go)
“Ok Colt I'll give us a chance, but I'm not promising anything do you hear me” he stands up and pulls me to him and kisses my neck
“No promises, I hear you” he whispers and my nipples harden, his heat makin’ me feel woozy
“Colt I better go” I tell him needing space
“No, we haven't talked”
“I thought this was our talk”
“No baby I want to talk about the baby”
“The baby”
“Yeah”
“What about the baby?”
“Come on” he pulls me back down the hall to the living room and we sit down on the sofa
“Colt what about the baby?”
“We haven't discussed what where going to call him or anything”
“Oh, you wanna discuss baby names” I ask a little surprised this was what he wanted to talk about
“Yeah”
“Ok what do you have in mind”
“I like the name Ethan”
“Ethan is ok”
“Ok what about Tyler”
“No”
“What about Logan?”
“I like Logan” That's Razor’s real name
“I know that's why I mentioned it”
“You want to name our son after Razor” he shrugs his shoulders
“It's just a suggestion, do you have any you like” he asks me
“Um I was thinking Zachary”
“Zachary”
“Yeah what's wrong with it”
“Nothing it's just very bibley”
“Bibley is that even a word”
“I don't know what else you got”
“Caleb”
“Um”
“Colt come on where naming our son”
“Fine what about Austin”
“Austin, I like it”
“Mason......Riley......Coby......Ryan come on babe give me something”
“I don't know Colt I think once I meet him the name will just come”
