by Aileen Rose
“You look different,” he mutters. “You are not a little girl anymore. I know exactly how you feel. And it was good that you had the chance to experience it. I am aware what intricate and wonderful emotions true love can trigger.”
Had my dad been in love in the past? Those are the words of a man who has felt his heart beat faster for a woman. Perhaps before he married my mom.
“But there comes a time in our life,” he continues, “that we have to think properly, with our minds, about what’s right to do. This will be a decision that will define the rest of your life. Yes, you are in love now. And passion runs through your veins. What will happen if someday you fall out of love and you realize that he is just a poor man who shifts into an animal and that will never be able to make you truly happy?”
“He does make me happy, dad. More than you can imagine. And it’s not just lust. I love him and he loves me. He saw who I really am.”
“Then why did he leave you? Why didn’t he fight for you?”
I lower my eyes unable to answer his question. He would never understand that Conor loves me and cares for me so much that he would prefer to be far from me, so that I can live a prosperous life.
“You see? If he loved you, he would do anything to keep you close to him. It’s rather late. Why don’t we go to sleep and talk tomorrow?”
He hugs me again and looks at me tenderly like he used to when I was a little girl.
“I am so grateful though he kept you alive. I have nothing against him, Calista, or against you. I am just older and I know how life really works. I want the best for you.”
He kisses me on my forehead and sends me to bed.
As I close the door of my room, I lean my back on it, waiting, until complete silence covers the palace.
Chapter 15
Before I make my escape, I head to the bathroom. I thought I saw a medicine cabinet in there. Yes, I was right. I open it with shaking hands, hopeful that I will come across what I am looking for. Little bottles that contain white pills are stacked on the two wooden shelves of the cabinet. I check the labels looking for something that could be useful. And there it is. A medicine made out of a plant that heals wounds. I take the small bottle and slip it in my bosom.
The palace is quiet now. Everyone seems to be asleep. I have to make my move now. I open the door reluctantly and make sure that the hallway is free. I mind my steps, but thankfully the carpet below my feet is too thick to allow them to be heard. I proceed to the staircase, hoping no one is guarding it. My anxiety won’t let me breathe properly.
No, Calista. You will not allow anyone to mess with your plan.
I am more determined than ever.
Whenever my parents and I came to the palace when I was younger, I used to go out in the back garden and play in its massive shrub – made labyrinths. I am sure that I could reach through the garden the far end wall and escape climbing it. I don’t think there are guards out there. But even if there are, I can hide myself from them as the bushes are tall and can serve as a disguise. I remember there used to be a door in the grand living room that led to the rear part of the palace’s estate. I can only wish that this door is unlocked.
Silence is cast all over the first floor of the palace. Much better than I expected. Still, if I come across a guard or a servant, I will tell them I couldn’t sleep and that I needed to read something from the living room’s bookcase. My perfect alibi.
“What are you doing up?” I hear a whisper behind me and I think my heart sinks to my stomach.
I turn around and it’s Ellard. Oh, no…Not him…
“I…I…couldn’t…” I stutter, “I couldn’t sleep.”
“It’s only natural after the day you had,” he says.
“I think I’ll go to the living room to read something, if that is alright with you.”
“It would be alright if that was what you were planning to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“I am not stupid, Calista. I am sure your father talked to you about my proposal. And I am pretty sure you now feel captured like a wild animal in a cage and you are trying to find a way to escape.”
My jaw drops. He is smarter than I thought. And darker than he appears.
“I don’t know what you are talking about, your Highness.”
“I think you do. I won’t let you go back to him, Calista.”
“Why not? Why do you want to marry me? You barely know me. There are so many girls who would be excited to be your bride. Why me?”
“Because I want to save you from him.”
I snicker shamefully.
“I really don’t believe you.”
“I like you so much that I want to save you. Is that so wrong?”
“It is. Because I don’t need to be saved. But he does. He is going to die if I don’t go to him. Please…”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you leave. I am responsible for you now and I will make sure that nothing bad happens to you.”
I narrow my eyes and purse my lips with resolution. The truth is that while looking at him my mind races at what to do. And then, I see it on the wall.
“Fine. I am going to sleep then,” I mutter and walk past him.
From a coat of arms hanging on the wall, I draw a sword and hold the tip of it against my stomach.
“No! What are you doing?” he shouts.
“Wake them up and I will kill myself,” I state.
He raises his hands to show me I needn’t worry. But his face is in shock.
“Alright. What do you want me to do?” he whispers now.
“I want you to let me escape. Or I will end my life now with this sword.”
“Does he mean so much to you that you would kill yourself for him?”
“Without him I am dead anyway.”
“So, you really love him…”
“More than I have ever loved anyone. The only reason he let me go was because he wanted me to have a prosperous future, not because he didn’t love me. We are married. With the wolves’ wedding ritual but still…Do you see this bracelet? It’s the symbol of our bond. And he is dying, Ellard. I have to save him. Please…”
He is pondering over his decision. I hope it doesn’t take him long, as this sword is really heavy to carry.
“Alright. But it will be done my way, not yours.”
“Your way?”
“Well, since I am responsible he is dying and as I would never let a lady walk alone at night, I will take you there with my horse.”
“Really? Oh, thank you!”
I let the sword fall on the carpet. I loop my arms around his neck and give him a strong kiss on his cheek.
“Quick. We don’t want to wake anyone. Let’s go through the back door to the stables,” he says.
Soon we are out of the palace, running. The bright moon is full tonight and lights our way. It doesn’t take us long to reach the point of the two paths. He pulls the reigns of the horse and it compliantly halts.
“I’ll go on alone,” I tell him.
“In the woods where shapeshifters live? There is no way I am letting you go in there on your own.”
“But I don’t know the way…” I say, aware of how stupid that sounds.
“Calista, it’s still night. In the forest where wolves live and you don’t know the way. We are going together. Don’t you have any clue on how to go?”
“When he led me to where he lives the first time we met, he confused me by turning a lot and he did the same yesterday that he brought me back here. But he did say one day that if I walked straight ahead in the opposite direction of where he lives, then I would reach the crossroads.”
“So…all we have to do is go to that direction?”
“I guess so.”
The horse gallops with caution between the trees and the dense bushes. It’s not always easy to keep our direction as there are trees and high vegetation blocking our way.
At a distance I can make out the moonlight reflected on the lake, which o
nly means we are close.
“There it is,” I say to Ellard.
He helps me get down as soon as we reach the hut. Where is Conor?
And then I see him by the hut as a wolf, lying on the ground, blood still spilling from his wound. It was a deep scratch. I freeze in terror. What if he is dead? I look at Ellard in despair for a moment and dash to Conor. He is unconscious. With my ear on his chest I sense that he is alive.
“So?” Ellard asks me. “Is he alive?”
“Yes. Thank you so much, your Highness. I will take care of him from now on. You can go. We will be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Certain.”
“If you ever want to return to our world and you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to find me.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it a lot. You are a good man.”
“Well…I hope I am lucky enough to find a love as strong as yours someday.”
“I am sure you will. You deserve it.”
“Take care, Calista.”
I nod and he plants a kiss on my cheek. I watch him as he leaves. But I have work to do if I don’t want my nightmare to come true.
Chapter 16
Conor
I hear her voice. This is what heaven must be like. But no. She is not alone. She is talking to someone. A horse neighs. He must be the man who wounded me. What is he doing here?
There is a slight weight on my body, close to my wound. It’s her. I struggle to open my eyes, to utter a word…but nothing. I am so powerless. She heads back to him and they are chatting. I can make out that he is leaving. However, she is staying with me.
I have to wake up, I have to wake up…
My mouth is forced to open and water is trickling in it.
“Come on, Conor. Please, drink it. This will heal you,” she says with apparent edginess in her voice.
I presume it is a kind of medicine diluted in the water. How did she find it? Perhaps the man with the horse gave it to her. I coerce my throat to receive the precious liquid. Why did she come back? She was supposed to be with her parents. How did she manage to leave? Oh, Calista, you should have left me die. Why did you have to disobey me?
I am in a cloud, striving to find my way out of this hazy idleness. I drift in and out of consciousness. Every time I come back, she is always there beside me, lying next to my wolf body. I hate being vulnerable. I hate that I can’t turn into a man, unless I have regained my strength.
I am not aware how much time has passed. She has been cleaning my wound and giving me water with medicine. She presses her delicate body against my fur and she whispers words of love to me. She is even singing to me in a low voice.
I gave up on us so easily. Yet, she never did. Nevertheless, what I wanted the most was for her to have everything she deserved and that I couldn’t offer her.
She is definitely not like the other girls. Sure, I have fallen in love before and they were fascinated by me and by what I taught them. When it came to committing to me though, they all opted to return to their comforts. I don’t blame them. That is the life they had learnt and the way they were brought up. They weren’t raised in the woods by wolves. Actually, I never expected any of these girls to stay with me. That is why no matter how strong my feelings were for them, I never allowed myself to attach to them. It was easier this way. It made the pain of parting bearable.
With Calista, even though I made every possible effort to keep my distance and not bond myself to her, she had captivated my heart ever since that first night I saw her dancing in the forest. She should be afraid of me. Instead I was afraid of her. Such a beauty, roaming around alone, disappointed by her life. I needed to capture that beauty, but in order to do so, I had to break her walls. Her fake mold surrounding her that her family and society had built. And that scared me to death. Because if I wanted to shatter that cast, I had to be cruel to her. I had to be the wolf.
I am always terrified when I let the wolf side of me take over. It’s hard to control him and maintain a balance, even after all those years. Not that I didn’t enjoy every moment with her, especially when she fought me. Every little fracture in her protective wall was a conquest for me. The more she let her true self be revealed, the more she was submitted to me. The more I felt her love and loyalty. And that melted my heart. My worst nightmare was to hurt her during the process. She was so fragile and dainty. I would never forgive myself. Yet, I did make her suffer. She still stayed with me, always faithful and obedient. And now she has proved to be stronger, protecting me.
If I get well, I swear I will never let her go again. No more fears, no regrets. She belongs to me and I to her.
The sunrays sting my eyes. It takes a lot of courage to open them and face the light. With a sluggish motion of my head, as it feels heavy, I look around. She is not here. She is probably in the hut or picking berries. My wound has successfully closed, but not healed entirely. I must be able to shift now. I am not so strong, but I believe I can make it.
As I finally turned into a man, I head to the hut to put on some clothes. I stop breathing when I see her. She is in front of the open closet, wearing only a pair of white panties. She looks so good in white. It reminds me of her lost innocence. Though she is a woman now, she will always be my little girl, who danced like a nymph in the woods. Her long chestnut, curly hair shroud her back and her deep green eyes stare at me with surprise. She has slightly opened her cute lips, breathing in and out rapidly, in the way I adore. I can hardly contain myself from taking her in my arms and kissing her tender lips.
“How are you feeling?” she asks me, inert in her position.
“Much better. Thanks to you. The wound still hurts and I am feeling a little dizzy, but it’s nothing to worry about.”
She lowers her gaze in that endearing way that makes my whole being craving to love her. I want to feel her close to me. But not yet. First, I have to know how she came back.
I clear my throat.
“I thought I had ordered you to go back to your parents and not return. Why did you disobey me, Calista? Look at me.”
She raises her eyes in alarm. I am sure it is the last thing she expected to hear from me right now. But I have to know what happened. And since she came back I need to know it’s for good and not just to save me.
“I am sorry, my Lord. I had to disobey. I saw a dream that you were dying. I had to come to you.”
“Is that why you came back? To save me?”
“Yes, my Lord.”
“What happened after you left with him?”
It’s a risky question, no doubt, as she could tell me that she just came back to make sure I was alright and that she will continue her life as a lady at her parent’s nest. I have to face the truth, however. Having her so near and not being able to touch her is an intolerable torture. And it only gets worse if I have expectations.
“He was the King’s son.”
“The prince?” I ask startled. Of all the men that ride their horses in the forest we had to run into the prince. That’s ironic.
“He took me to the palace, where he summoned my parents to come. We all had dinner, along with the King and the Queen. Afterwards, I had a private discussion with my parents. They told me that the prince had asked for their permission to marry me.”
I clench my teeth. How could that bastard propose to my girl? How can I ever compete with a prince?
“And?” I ask raising an eyebrow arrogantly.
“I refused, Conor. What did you think I would do? I love you.”
“Go on,” I mutter.
“I talked to them about you, but they couldn’t understand. They thought that being a princess would be the best for me.”
“Isn’t it?”
“You hurt me, my Lord. You break my heart by saying this.” Her face contracts into a distressed expression.
“I am sorry. Do continue.”
“I told my parents that I wanted true love and not to become a princess. After everyone went to bed and
the palace was quiet, I went downstairs in order to find a door to the back garden. It was the only way I could escape. At that moment, the prince found me and prevented me from making my escape. As a result I clutched a sword hung on the wall and threatened to kill myself if he wouldn’t let me leave.”
“You did such a thing? Calista, that was very dangerous.”
“As I told him as well, I was dead already without you. I didn’t have much to lose.”
I bite my lip not to smile. I cross my arms to resume my imposing and controlling position.
“Then what? Did he just let you go?”
“In fact, he did. He was touched by our love and I guess he understood that I would never agree to marry him. He even escorted me. Fortunately, I had stolen a bottle of pills before I left, that helped you heal faster.”
“Thank you.”
Thank you? She just told you she loves you more than she loves her own life and all you can say is thank you?
“Why didn’t you go to your friends?” she asks and tears the embarrassing silence. “They could have healed you. Why did you stay here on your own?”
“Because I wanted to die,” I reply instantly.
“Why?”
“Because I can’t live without you.”
Her eyes fill with tears.
“Then don’t. Live with me forever,” she pleads.
I finally crack a playful smile.
“Oh, trust me, baby. That is exactly what I intend to.”
My blood scampers hot in my veins as I stride to her, taking her by surprise. I hold her back of her neck tightly as I dig my tongue inside her sweet mouth. Her dear moans only make me want her more.
“Oh, Calista, what are you doing to me? I am infatuated by you.”
Her eyes widen happily.
“Me too, my Lord. But you are still wounded.”
“I don’t care. You are mine. Forever mine. And I am going to prove it to you right now.”
We don’t need any foreplay. I carry her to the bed and swiftly bury myself in her. She arches her head back to relish in the sensation of us being one. Her ecstasy to my every touch, my every thrust leads me to a consuming climax. I rest my body on hers, still inside her, as she caresses my back. All is well again. Our world is as it should be. Her and me, to eternity.
