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by J. A. Armstrong

  “Fallon found her dancing feet, I see,” Andi commented.

  “I don’t think Owen gave her much choice.”

  Andi smiled. Don’t kid yourself, Riley; she loves every second of it.

  “Hey, Andi,” Carol greeted her friend. “Margarita?”

  “How about a martini instead?” Andi suggested.

  “A martini?” Carol questioned.

  “Dirty, if you would.”

  “Wow.” Carol was surprised. Andi was predictable.

  “Sometimes, you have to make a change before it’s made for you,” Andi offered.

  Riley turned her attention to Andi. She liked Andi. She was certain she detected a note of sorrow in Andi’s voice. “You okay?” Riley asked.

  “I’m good.” Andi squeezed Riley’s hand. “Don’t look now. Here comes Fred Astaire.”

  “Hey,” Fallon said. “When did you get here?”

  “I got here in time to see your fancy footwork,” Andi teased.

  “I have some moves.”

  Andi’s eyes sparkled. Yes, you do. “Quite the handsome partner you have,” Andi said.

  “I know. He’s the only man I’ll let take me on the dance floor,” Fallon said.

  Owen laughed.

  Fallon shrugged.

  “And, the only one who will laugh at all your jokes,” Andi said.

  “Mm. I don’t have to say anything for you to laugh, do I?” Fallon tickled Owen. He laughed some more. “Am I funny looking or something?” She made a face at him.

  Riley rolled her eyes. You are such a goofball. “So? When does your company arrive?”

  Fallon handed Owen back to Riley. “Tomorrow night.”

  “Excited?” Riley wondered.

  “I’m not sure that’s the word I’d use,” Fallon said. Andi silently implored Fallon with her eyes. Fallon sighed. “About that,” she said to Riley.

  “What?” Riley wondered.

  “I was kind of wondering if you were free on Saturday.”

  “Me?” Riley asked.

  “And Owen.”

  “Let’s see. I have a hot date with grocery shopping. Exciting, I know. I like to live on the edge.”

  “Well, would you maybe like to come over and have dinner at my place?”

  Riley was puzzled.

  “Feel free to say no,” Fallon said. “I was going to cook out on the grill. For some reason, the kids seem to think grilling in the freezing cold is fun. Come to think of it; it’s probably watching me grill in the freezing cold.”

  “What can I bring?” Riley asked.

  “Bring?”

  “Yeah, you know, bring—dessert? Wine? Juice boxes? What can I bring?”

  “Oh. Nothing,” Fallon said. “We’ll probably fire up the grill around four. Can you come over around two?”

  “Sure.”

  Fallon smiled. “Great.”

  Carol handed Andi her drink.

  “What is that?” Fallon asked.

  “What does it look like?” Andi replied.

  “Since when do you drink martinis?”

  “Sometimes, it’s good to try something new,” Andi said.

  Fallon wrinkled her nose. “If you say so.”

  Andi smiled. Oh, Fallon.

  Riley pondered the interaction. Fallon had never admitted to her affair with Andi. It was obvious to Riley. There was a unique way lovers communicated. Andi and Fallon shared that. She wondered what had brought them together. It seemed clear that Andi loved her husband, but her feelings for Fallon were also palpable. And, Fallon? Well, Fallon clearly cared for Andi Maguire. Riley didn’t get the impression that they were in love. Interesting. It was curious to her. She’d only been with Robert for seven years before she had lost him. In many ways, she thought they were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. She was no stranger to extra-marital affairs. Her father and mother had both been unfaithful in their marriage. When Riley turned eighteen, they divorced. It had seemed odd to most of Riley’s friends; there was no animosity in the separation. Brenda and Doug Fitzgerald had parted friends. Riley’s mother purchased a condo in Seattle and her father relocated to his hometown in Colorado. Doug remarried the following year. Riley loved both her parents. She had been surprised when her father chose to delve into the topic of their marriage before his wedding.

  “I don’t want you to think that we didn’t love each other,” he said.

  “I don’t think that, Dad.”

  “I still love your mother.”

  “You know that doesn’t make sense,” Riley replied.

  “No? Well, pumpkin, someday you might understand. We had different interests—other than you and your sister.”

  Riley nodded. That seemed obvious.

  “I don’t mean the affairs, Riley,” he clarified.

  “Dad, this is none of my business.”

  “Maybe not,” he admitted. “I hope when you find that someone, I hope that it’s forever, Riley. If it isn’t, I hope you’ll remember that it’s okay to let go.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  Doug shook his head.

  “You and Mom. If you wanted to be with other people, why didn’t you break up?”

  “I loved her. We loved you and Mary.”

  “I don’t get it. You stayed together for us?”

  “That was part of it. We loved being with you—all of us being together.”

  Riley took a deep breath. “How did it start?” There, she asked. She wanted to know.

  “You mean, who cheated first?”

  Riley nodded.

  “I did.”

  She nodded again.

  Doug sighed heavily. “For years, she stayed faithful. Then she met Gil. I couldn’t blame her. How could I? It hurt. It did, even if I had no right to feel that way. I realized how she must’ve felt all those years. When I met Lisa, your mother—Well, it was different. She sat me down and told me it was time for us both to move on.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t need to say a thing. Just remember that life isn’t all neat and tidy the way we like to think. It’s a God dammed mess half the time. And, that’s okay. That’s all I’m trying to say. Hopefully, one day you’ll find that person that eclipses all the rest.”

  “Have you?” Riley asked.

  Doug smiled. “I hope so, Riley. I hope so.”

  “Jake comes home soon, right?” Riley asked Andi.

  “Next Saturday,” Andi replied. “He’ll be home for three weeks before he’s off again.”

  “That must be hard.”

  “Sometimes, it is.” Andi sipped her martini. Something tells me it might get harder soon. She smiled at Riley.

  Riley still held a degree of innocence. Andi envied that. She remembered that too. There were different kinds of loss. Infidelity was not the same as death. Both stripped a person of a degree of innocence, but in different ways. At forty-six, Andi had been with Jake Maguire for more than half her life. She’d raised two sons to adulthood. She’d mourned the loss of her mother and more people she loved than she cared to count. She tried to recall being thirty. A lot of living happened in sixteen years—a lot of living and a lot of learning. She was positive that Riley had caught onto her relationship with Fallon. Riley might have been young, she was not clueless. Riley had spent long hours with Fallon, and shared more than a few hours getting to know Andi as well. Andi watched as Fallon walked into the kitchen.

  Owen wiggled in Riley’s grasp. “Fawon!”

  Fallon turned around. “Well, come on. You can help me do some dishes.”

  Riley laughed. Great, an excuse for you two to play in the water.

  Andi watched as Fallon took Owen’s hand and led him away. She took a deep breath. “You’re wondering about me and Fallon.”

  “What? No. Andi, I’m not…”

  “It’s okay,” Andi said. “I don’t think it’s the best kept secret in town.” She chuckled. “Fallon likes to think so.”

  “Andi
…”

  “Riley, relax.” She glanced to ensure Fallon was still in the other room. “I’m not in love with her,” she said. “She’s not in love with me either.”

  Riley suddenly felt uncomfortable. She hadn’t intended to pry into Andi’s life or Fallon’s for that matter. It seemed that Andi needed to say something.

  “I love her, though.” Andi sighed. I do. “It’s safe. Sounds crazy, I know. It’s safe for both of us. Different reasons, I guess. It’s safe.” Although, it doesn’t feel all that safe right now. “Sad, huh?”

  “No,” Riley said honestly. “Just human.”

  Andi pushed back a few tears. “Safe,” she repeated. “Not always easy.”

  Riley nodded. Her thoughts traveled to her parents. Brenda Fitzgerald remained single. She’d continued to see Gil for two years after her divorce from Riley’s father. She dated, but Riley had not seen her mother involved with anyone for more than seven years. She asked her mother once if she was lonely.

  “I spent years feeling lonely when I was with someone,” Brenda told her daughter.

  “You mean with Dad.”

  “Well, he was off on his trips. First it was business, then it was golfing. You know your father. He’s always been a bit of a nomad.” She chuckled. “Then I met Gil.”

  “What happened with you two?”

  “Me and Gil? Are you asking why we stopped seeing each other?”

  Riley nodded.

  “I love Gil—in my way. Gil and I were always friends.”

  Riley laughed. “Friends with benefits?”

  “Yes,” Brenda replied honestly. “That’s a good way to describe it. I loved him. Still do. I miss him sometimes.”

  “You still talk to him; don’t you?”

  “Sure. We have a drink every so often too. That’s the extent of it.”

  “Don’t you want to find someone?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not looking for it. Would I like to be in love? Who wouldn’t?” Brenda laughed. “That’s the thing; I just don’t feel the need for those fringe benefits anymore.”

  Riley was shocked. Her mother was only in her fifties. “You don’t want to have sex anymore?”

  Brenda laughed raucously. “You are too much sometimes. What do you think? You shrivel up at fifty?”

  “No. You’re the one who said you didn’t need fringe benefits.”

  “I suppose I did. How do I explain this? I’ve been in love. I’ve had a lover. I guess, I would like them in tandem. If I’m going to invest myself in someone; I want more than what I had with Gil or your father. I want to be enough for that person.”

  “Mom…”

  “And, I want that person to be enough for me. Until then, I have to be enough for me.”

  “She cares about you,” Riley told Andi.

  Andi grinned. She cares about you too—more than she’s ready to admit. “I know she does. I care about her.”

  “I can see that.”

  “Mm. She cares about you too, Riley.”

  Riley smiled. “Fallon’s… Well, she’s become a good friend. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without her.”

  Andi nodded. I know the feeling.

  Fallon chose that moment to walk out of the kitchen.

  “Fawon!” Owen laughed. “Down!”

  Fallon set Owen on his feet and handed him a dollar. “You know where the stool is?”

  He nodded.

  “Good. Go put this in the jukebox like I showed you. Then Mommy can come help you pick some songs.”

  Owen jumped up with excitement and scurried off as fast as he could.

  “What are you two up to?” Fallon asked.

  Riley felt her face flush.

  Andi shrugged. “Worried?”

  “Should I be?” Fallon asked.

  “Probably,” Andi deadpanned.

  “I’m going to go help Owen.” Riley slid off her stool.

  “Mommy!”

  “I’m coming.”

  “What was that about?” Fallon asked.

  “She knows, Fallon.”

  “She knows? What does she know?”

  “About us.”

  “You told Riley?”

  “I didn’t tell her anything. She had it figured out.”

  Fallon groaned. Great. She must think I’m a piece of shit now.

  “Relax,” Andi said.

  “Andi, Riley lost the love of her life. I doubt finding out we’re having an affair exactly impressed her.”

  Andi shrugged. “She’s not a wallflower, Fallon.”

  “What’s the supposed to mean?”

  “It means that you have her on some kind of pedestal. Be careful with that. Riley might be young, she’s not as naïve as you seem to think.”

  “I don’t think she’s naïve.”

  Andi stared at Fallon doubtfully.

  “I don’t. I just… Me and Riley… I’ve told her a lot, Andi—not that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Why not?” Fallon glanced over at Riley and Owen. “For one thing, I don’t want everyone to know.”

  Andi raised an eyebrow.

  “What?”

  “Fallon, you and I both know that everyone in town knows about us. They ignore it.”

  Fallon bit her lip. Did everyone know? Shit. They probably did.

  “What did she say?” Fallon asked.

  “Just that she cares about you.”

  “She said that?”

  She didn’t have to. “Why does that surprise you?”

  “It doesn’t. It’s been a while since anyone stuck around long enough to become a friend.”

  And, we’re back to Liv. Andi nodded. “I’ll be interested to hear what she thinks of Liv.”

  “You like her—Riley, I mean.”

  “What’s not to like?” Andi asked.

  “She’s a good kid.”

  “She’s not a kid, Fallon.”

  “You know what I mean!”

  “I do. I wouldn’t let her hear you say that.”

  Fallon groaned. “I just meant… She’s not even thirty yet.”

  “Mm. She’s lived more than a lot of people I know twice her age,” Andi offered.

  Yeah, I guess she has.

  Andi finished her drink and hopped off her stool.

  “You’re leaving already?” Fallon asked.

  “I am.”

  “Andi?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You seem… Did I do something to upset you?”

  Andi reached over and took Fallon’s hand. “No. I’ll talk to you. Tell Liv I said hello.”

  “Hey,” Fallon called after her lover.

  Andi turned back.

  Fallon’s breath caught. She wasn’t sure they had a name for what she felt. She would miss Andi while they had to be apart. She could call her. She would see her. She wouldn’t hold her. And, as much as Fallon hated to admit it, she found comfort in Andi’s arms.

  Andi didn’t need Fallon to utter a word. She winked. I’ll miss you too.

  ***

  Saturday

  “Aunt Fallon?”

  “What’s up, Em?”

  Emily looked up at Fallon and put her hands on her hips. Fallon had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. She’d seen the exact same expression on Oliva’s face a million times. Emily reminded Fallon of Olivia more than Summer. They both had their mother’s light brown skin and curly hair. Emily shared her mother’s soft brown eyes. Summer’s eyes were noticeably lighter, almost golden. She had little doubt that both would break their share of hearts when they got older. Emily possessed a sense of adventure where Summer tended to be timid. Fallon had learned that some parts of a person’s personality started at birth. Emily had come into the world wide-eyed with wonder. Summer had always been more reserved. They were a blend of Olivia and Dean biologically. People could say anything they wanted; Fallon believed that both nature and nurture played a role in shaping a person. Looking at Emily, she felt confident in that assessment.r />
  “I want the top bunk,” Emily said.

  Fallon nodded. “Let me guess; your sister wants it too.”

  “Yeah, but I’m older. She’s too little.”

  “There you are,” Olivia said. “Oh, I see. You think Fallon is going to take your side.”

  “Mom…”

  “Don’t Mom me. I told you to give your sister a chance.”

  “She’ll fall!”

  “She won’t fall,” Olivia said.

  “Em,” Fallon addressed her goddaughter. “You can take turns with your sister. You have a whole week.”

  “It’s not fair!”

  “Emily,” Olivia warned.

  The doorbell rang.

  “I’ll get that,” Fallon said. She leaned into Olivia’s ear. “She’s yours.”

  “Don’t remind me!” Olivia called after Fallon.

  Fallon opened the door. “You didn’t have to ring the bell,” she told Riley. “You have a key.”

  Riley was about to answer when Owen spoke.

  “Fawon!”

  “Hi, Owen.”

  He held up his arms.

  Fallon laughed. “Do I look like a bus?”

  Owen laughed.

  “I do,” Fallon said. She picked up the toddler and led Riley through the door. “Welcome to the madness,” she said.

  Riley grinned. The noise level was certainly different than normal.

  “Aunt Fallon!”

  Fallon sighed. “Yes, Evan?”

  “Can you hook up the Xbox for me and Em?”

  “Yes, but you have to let Summer play too.”

  “Okay,” he agreed.

  “You want to help me, Owen?”

  Owen nodded.

  “Good, I need all the help I can get.” She turned to Riley. “Let me introduce you to everyone. Evan,” she called for her nephew’s attention. “Em,” she addressed Emily. “This is my friend, Riley,” she said. “And, this is Owen.”

  Evan waved.

  “Hi,” Emily said.

  “Hello,” Riley replied.

  “Where’s your sister?” Fallon asked Emily.

  “In the kitchen with Mom,” Emily answered.

  “Okay. I’ll be back and I’ll show you how to set up the game.” Fallon led Riley to the kitchen. “Hey,” she announced her presence.