The Vampire Memoirs

by Mara Mccuniff

  He spent the rest of the day skinning the bear, which I thought was a waste of time, until he announced that bearskins can be sold to rugmakers and such. We were fortunate enough to find a man who dealt with furs and skins in the next town, and Gaar was able to sell it only after a rather impressive display of haggling and dealing. The man gave him less than maximum price for a good skin, though, as it had been poked a few times.

  The man dealt only with Gaar, however, and as soon as he handed Gaar the money, I became peeved and began scheming as to how to get some—or all—of it; I didn't trust him completely, you understand.

  Gaar surprised me no end by giving me not some but half of the money and thanked me for helping him kill the bear. I was amazed at his actions, but I was still irked by his following me into the forest and humiliating me there, and I ran from him before he could pocket his own money. I quickly lost myself through a crowd and breathed a sigh of relief in having rid myself of this strange and frightening man.

  But it seemed that I was never able to avoid him. In that town and every other town, I would catch glimpses of him through the crowds, watching me or pretending not to notice. He both infuriated and interested me. My thoughts were ever after constantly on him, although not always in civil terms. No one likes to be followed, but he also fascinated me in his persistence. And he was the most persistent human being I had known thus far.

  One night, using the pay from the bearskin, I was treating myself to a hearty meal when a figure moved near me and sat right at my table. I looked up. It was Gaar, of course. I sighed in frustration and lowered my food. He flashed one of his usual friendly smiles, and my spine shivered.

  "You're persistent, I'll give you that," he said.

  "I'm persistent? Why don't you leave me be?" I demanded to know.

  "Why do you still treat me as an enemy? What have I done to you?"

  "What have you done?? You've… you've—you won't leave me alone!"

  "I only want to talk to you. Will you grant me that?"

  "Why? What do you want from me? I just want to be alone."

  "Alone? No one should be alone. Men need other men. And women."

  "Stop taunting me with that. I'm a warrior, not a woman," I protested.

  "You're a warrior and a woman, whether you want to be or not. Just as I'm a warrior, and a man. Listen," he said, and reached out and took my hand on impulse, "I wish to be a friend, not foe—"

  "Let go of me," I warned, staring wild-eyed at my hand. Gaar responded by gently caressing my hand, and my spine began doing flip-flops again.

  "Let go," I repeated in near-panic.

  "I'm not…" he began, but I quickly twisted my hand the same as I'd done to the barbarian in the other inn. Unfortunately, Gaar knew that move already and twisted my arm right back into his grasp. He began to draw my hand toward him slowly, and in a panic I yanked my arm free and stood up. My mind was a whirl with thoughts, but I managed to blurt out "Leave me alone!" before storming from the inn.

  I originally intended to run as far from the inn as I could, but I remained just outside the door. Possibly I decided to "deal" with Gaar once and for all, or perhaps I actually enjoyed having my hand held and couldn't make myself leave. Whatever the reason, I was not at all rational when Gaar stepped out a few moments later. I thought of running again, but that thought disintegrated as Gaar caught sight of me and smiled. He held his arm out and was about to speak, when panic seized me again, and I struck him full in the face with my fist. He turned away quickly and held his face, while I babbled almost incoherently at him.

  "I was—You didn't—Does—You shouldn't have—followed me!" I gasped. I expected Gaar to turn and throw his arms out and tell me how he didn't want a fight, but again, I was surprised.

  With a roar, he whirled about and plunged himself into me, knocking me flat onto my backside, and the wind out of me. He hunched over me then, teeth gritted and nose dripping blood, while I scrambled to get away before he struck me again. He let me rise to my feet, through, or it seemed that way, before he came for me again. Both of us were hurt and angry now, and I attacked first by slamming my whole body into his and pushing with all my might until he tumbled backward. Unlike him, however, I kicked at him as he tried to rise, but he caught one of my legs and twisted, forcing me down with a painful thud.

  Our battle continued for some time outside the inn, and to the several spectators that we attracted, our different techniques of combat became painfully obvious.

  As a warrior, I was my father: all brutality, all brute strength, and little skill. Gaar, on the other hand, was stronger than I and had the skill to match. I honored no rules in combat and continually attacked when he was down, and only his endurance and skill allowed Gaar to escape my rage. My technique was usually to throw myself into him and knock him about, while Gaar often retaliated by using my very attacks against me. Nonetheless both of us became more than knocked about and nearly exhausted from our brawl. But neither of us was about to give in; this was a fight to the end.

  At last we both stood facing each other, struggling to keep our arms up and the blood from our mouths and eyes. We were two wolves fighting for domination, and we both meant to be master. I took in Gaar's condition. His nose and mouth were covered with blood, his and mine. His arms shook ever so slightly as he held them up, and his legs looked as in danger of giving out as mine felt. I probably looked just as bad or worse, but I didn't care.

  Gathering up every last bit of strength I had, I held my fists as tightly as I could, raised my arms just an inch or so more, and took a step toward him.

  There was no possible way I could have avoided Gaar's blow. His reserve of strength turned out to be much greater than mine, and he threw his fist into my jaw just as I began to move. My arms dropped, my head lurched to the side, and I swayed, but I did not fall. Gaar's face soon became little more than a blur to me, but I remember seeing a shape swing at me from the other side before everything went black.

  I coughed and sputtered. My face was wet, and water, mixed with blood, had flowed into my nose and throat and threatened to choke me. I heard loud voices nearby but didn't recognize them, and I tried to rise, but the pain in my jaw and head kept me down.

  I lay in the dirt silently, struggling to sort out the sounds from the pain in my body. The loud voices became clearer, and I recognized one of them as Gaar's. The other I did not know.

  He was arguing with someone, but I chose to ignore the words and concentrated on regaining consciousness so I could get away.

  The arguing continued as I forced myself up from the dirt, and then more voices were added. I saw a man beside Gaar, and someone else, who pointed at me occasionally. I chose to ignore him, too, and began lurching down an alley away from Gaar and everyone who was staring at me. I was furious, and my anger helped me to regain strength and consciousness as I left the scene. First, he humiliates me in a forest, and now he humiliates me in public! But even as I limped away from him, I couldn't help wondering if it wasn't futile to even try to escape this man.

  It was futile. Gaar was soon after me, telling me that I couldn't leave now that I owed him three times. Three times? I owed him nothing, I insisted, and demanded an explanation. He claimed that he had beaten me in fair combat twice (well, I certainly didn't count that time in the forest as "combat"), and he had just finished bribing a guard to keep me out of jail, as I had caused a public brawl and would have been arrested. As for himself, Gaar claimed innocence in that he was strictly defending himself, and the villagers helped him with this, too!

  I had had enough of this. I turned away as quickly as I could and continued walking through the alley, trying my best to ignore Gaar's calls.

  "Why, Mara?" he cried, still following me. "Why do you torment me this way? Why do you despise me as you do? It's all I ask!"

  I gave him no answer and walked even faster. He kept pace with me, however, and wouldn't give up yet.

  "Mara, please, all I ask is a reason!" I gritted my teeth
and fought off tears, but kept on going. Then Gaar made his next big mistake by grabbing my arm and turning me to face him.

  "I'll not let you run from me without an answer!" he spat. I gritted my teeth harder and tried to ignore him further, but I finally had to give in and speak, but not before wrenching myself out of his grip.

  "Don't touch me again," I growled. "I 'owe' you nothing for nothing, and I need give no 'explanations'!"

  "You do owe me for that guard—"

  "The guard? Fine, then!! How much did it cost you? Four coins? Five? Eh?" I cried, fumbling through my pouch for money. I grabbed four coins or so and threw them onto the ground in front of him.

  "There!" I screamed. "There's your payment! Now leave me be! That's all I ask!" I said, and stormed away while he fumbled to pick up the coins.

  "Wait! Please!" I heard him call after me, "I didn't really mean—! Mara!" By that time, however, I was becoming lost in the nighttime crowds.

  I spent an extra few days in that town to rest up from our fight. I was staying in a fairly good inn—meaning one without too many thefts or barroom brawls.

  I walked through the marketplace one day, noting the unusual amount of business for such a small town. I later found out that the people were preparing for a festival that began that night—a celebration of summer's beginning.

  I was bored nevertheless and watched and listened to customers and keepers of shops and booths haggle and argue. Few of their wares interested me, except for some of the more exotic foods, but most of those were too expensive. I mostly just pushed my way absentmindedly through the crowds, trying unsuccessfully to keep my thoughts away from a certain individual.

  It took me a few moments to notice a particularly violent argument taking place directly ahead of me. Curious, I pushed my way deeper into the masses of people until I saw a rather large man arguing with a rather spindly potmaker. I heard a few choice words about somebody owing someone money when the large customer fellow started kicking some of the potter's wares around. The potter was furious, of course. As the customer picked up a large vase and made as if to shatter it on the ground, he was suddenly knocked down by an even larger man who also caught the vase before it fell.

  I immediately recognized the third man as Gaar. I intended to leave before he turned around and saw me until I saw that, while the potter was thanking Gaar profusely, the customer had reached into his coat and pulled out a knife. I looked over at Gaar to see if he or the potter had noticed. Neither of them reacted as the customer slowly rose up, blood flowing from his nose and teeth gritted, and made ready to attack Gaar from behind.

  The next thing I knew, the customer suddenly dropped his knife and desperately clutched at the dagger that was firmly embedded in his neck. He fell backward into the dust with a short gasp, and it was then that Gaar and the potter realized that they had missed something. Gaar bent over the man and looked him over while I silently made my presence known. As Gaar stared at me in surprise, I bent down and pulled my dagger from the man's neck, flicked most of the blood off, and resheathed it in my boot. Gaar stood and stared at me for a few moments.

  "Mara!" he said. "You threw the knife?"

  "Urn…" I began, "Yes."

  "He thought he'd attack me from behind," said Gaar. "Blast! How could I be such a fool, I might have been killed! Mara," he continued, placing a hand on my shoulder, "I owe you my life."

  "No. You owe me nothing," I said. "I didn't plan to do that. I saw a weapon, and…"

  "So you're saying you would have done that for anyone?" Gaar prodded.

  "I'm not saying anything but that you owe me nothing. We have no debts," I said, and tried to walk away, wondering why it was suddenly so hard for me to think, and why the impulse to save Gaar the way I had had been so strong. I hadn't even been aware of my actions until after the fact.

  There might not have been any legal complications regarding the killing of a man in broad daylight—(this was a fairly lawless sort of town, it seemed)—but there were plenty of emotional complications for me.

  Gaar dogged me through the streets that day despite my best efforts to avoid him. He had cornered me by a booth somewhere when I noticed a rather richly dressed man leading his pack mule toward us. It wasn't until he was right beside us that Gaar stopped talking and looked up.

  First he asked Gaar if he was a mercenary, which Gaar was, of course, and then he introduced himself as Arem, a "wealthy man" from the nearby city of Castrill. He said that he had stayed too long where he was now, and thus had only one day to get back to Castrill or possibly be faced with the wrath of the magistrate for whom he worked. Normally it took two days to get to Castrill, but there was a short cut that took only one day. Unfortunately that route was notorious for its bandits and cutthroats, and Arem needed a bodyguard to make sure he got through the short cut safely.

  At this point I was torn between leaving Gaar and staying to find out what the man wanted Gaar for. I ended up staying in spite of myself. I was surprised to see that Gaar had accepted a dangerous job like that, and even more surprised to see that he would only do the job if I were hired, too.

  I knew exactly what was on Gaar's mind then, so I started to walk away but he grabbed my arm and held on tight, his eyes never leaving Arem's gaze. I was going to wrench my way free but was held in place by the incredible shower of words in praise of me that Gaar suddenly erupted into. Naturally Arem had never intended to hire a woman—of all creatures—to protect his hide; only Gaar's words soon convinced him that I was some great warrior. I almost believed him myself.

  The next thing I knew we'd been hired to protect a fat, rich man for ten pieces of gold each, with two given us in advance. We were to meet him next morning, at the stables. I was almost in a daze by the whole affair, but not so much that I couldn't pocket my money and start walking away while Gaar was still distracted. Naturally, he wasn't distracted for long, and he was soon keeping pace alongside of me while I tried to ignore him.

  "It feels good to work again," he said cheerfully. I kept my silence.

  "It's been too long since I've had decent employment," he continued. "As long as this Arem doesn't try to cheat us…"Gaar was silent for a few moments himself, then he continued. "We'd best stay together for the day. It wouldn't be wise for either of us to get lost around here and not make it to the stables tomorrow."

  "Only an idiot could get lost in this place," I muttered.

  "What?"

  "Nothing," I said. I walked on in more silence, Gaar still following.

  "So—where are you staying?" he then asked, still trying to make conversation. I laughed to myself.

  "I'm surprised you don't even know," I said. "You find me wherever I am, whether I tell you or not. And I'm yet to tell you."

  "I'm staying at the inn near the town well," he said.

  "I'll be sure to get my water elsewhere, then."

  "That was cruel, Mara."

  "I intended it to be."

  "Why are you always so cruel to me?"

  "You don't know when to give up, that's why."

  "No. No, I suppose I don't. When I want something, I don't give up until I get it."

  "And of course you want me."

  "You might say that."

  "Why?"

  "Why what?"

  "Why do you want me? Why do you hound me endlessly, like you are even now? Why won't you leave me alone?"

  "Why do you always want to be alone?"

  "Because… that's just the way I am! I like being alone."

  "I don't think anyone really likes to be alone."

  "Well, I do."

  "Always? You never want to talk to anyone?"

  "No, I don't mean—" Gaar's questions were quickly becoming annoying, and I very much wanted to avoid answering them by running away.

  "I just want to be alone now…" I began. "I don't want you to keep following me. I just want to be alone; why won't you understand that?"

  "But we can't split up now," he said. "We'll be me
eting Arem tomor—"

  "Yes, we can split up," I insisted. "I won't forget about tomorrow. I'll be there."

  "But—"

  "Just leave me be!" I said, and walked faster to lose him. As usual he kept pace with me, only he then made the mistake of grabbing my shoulder to stop me. I whirled around and stopped him in his tracks with a vicious glare.

  "Don't you ever do that again," I growled.

  "Mara—"

  "Don't you ever touch me again! Do you hear me?? Never! Now leave me alone! I" And with that I whirled around again and sped through the crowd at top speed, at last leaving Gaar far behind me.

  Gaar surprised me by not showing himself for the rest of the day. I had run back to the inn and my room and remained there until sunset when the festival was to begin. I decided to spend my last few hours in town wandering about and taking in the sights of the festival, Gaar or no Gaar. Mostly people were simply eating and drinking, but every now and then I spotted someone entertaining a crowd with a song, poem, or some bit of physical dexterity.

  I was engrossed in watching a juggler when I felt a familiar presence nearby. I looked to my side, and, sure enough, there stood Gaar right beside me. I sighed in annoyance. I heard him reach into his pouch and pull out some coins and hold them in front of me.

  "These are yours," he said.

  I eyed him quizzically. "Mine?" I asked.

  "Your money. From last night," he said. "I wasn't asking for your money when I told you about that bribe."