The Vampire Memoirs

by Mara Mccuniff

  "What—? Why—?" he gasped, reaching out to touch me again.

  I pushed his hand away. "Horrible things!" I yelled. "I think of horrible things and they won't stop!!"

  "What—? What horrible things?" he begged.

  "I—I can't tell you!" I sobbed. "I could never tell you! You'd lock me away for even daring to think those things!"

  "What things, Mara?" he pleaded. "I'm not going to lock you up'; I want to know what's wrong! Why did you cry out before?"

  "Please," I begged, "Let me leave. Let me go back to our room. I'll lie down and sleep, I can't hurt you then."

  "Hurt me? How would you hurt me? Is that what you were thinking about?"

  "No!" I cried. "Or—I don't know what I was thinking about! They just came out of nowhere, and I couldn't keep them out of my mind! Please let me go, Gaar. I want to go back to our room…"

  "Uh… yes," he said. "Yes, all right. But aren't you finishing your meal?"

  "No, I'm not hungry. I'll be fine, I promise."

  "I'll walk you there, then."

  "No!" I snapped, then forced myself to calm down. "Or—I'm sorry, Gaar. I didn't mean that. I just want to go alone, that's all. You finish your meal, don't worry about me."

  "I worry about you, anyway," he said. "You haven't been well, Mara. I only—"

  "Really; I'm fine now, Gaar," I said softly. "I just need a little more rest than I thought. I'll be even better in a few hours, when we have dinner. You'll see. All right? Will you stop worrying about me?" I watched him for some moments before he smiled a little and nodded his head in agreement. But his eyes told me a different story.

  Chapter 11

  I woke up to Gaar holding and kissing my hand. He stopped and held it when he noticed my eyes had opened.

  "Feeling better, love?" he asked. I nodded solemnly.

  "Good," he said, patting my hand quickly. "They're serving our dinner now. Still not hungry?"

  I shook my head. "Starved," I said. He smiled and pulled me into a sitting-up position. I could see through the corner of my eye that sunset was still about an hour away. I started shaking inexplicably. Gaar had let go of my hand in the meantime and was putting on a different shirt—one of his good ones, for when he and Agyar met again. Meanwhile I sat placidly by the bedside, partly still trying to wake up and also staring vacantly at my bedclothes lying nearby on a chair. I decided to put them away somewhere, and I rose to grab them when I saw a dagger lying just underneath the clothes. I knew it was neither mine nor Gaar's, and then I remembered that dream I'd had the night before, and almost gasped in horror. Suddenly I felt the clothes being taken from me. Gaar was there.

  "Am I supposed to do something with these?" he asked.

  "Hmm?" I asked.

  "You were handing these to me, weren't you?" he asked, indicating my bedclothes.

  I eyed him quizzically and shook my head. "No," I said, "I was just… uh…"

  He then looked at the chair and saw the dagger there. He tossed the clothes onto a chest and picked up the dagger, examining it.

  "Where did this come from?" he asked. "Is this yours, Mara?"

  "Uh… n-no, I… I…"

  "It's not mine, either," he said. "I wonder where it came from."

  "Um… yes," I murmured. "I do, too."

  He continued examining the knife—checking the sharpness of the blade, the knife's balance and design. He seemed rather pleased.

  "It's a good dagger," he said, thinking out loud more than talking to me. "Well—" he continued, "We'll find out whose it is later. And if not… well, we may just have to keep it," he said with a wink.

  "Yes. Of course…" I said.

  I was not lying at any time to Gaar. I couldn't explain the dagger, as I still thought the whole thing had been dreamed. And yet, there it was, and there were still those horrible images that kept forcing their way into my mind. They hadn't reappeared since that last attack, but I could feel them in my mind still, just waiting for the first chance to torment me again.

  Gaar, unknowingly, was a fool at dinner. He kept the dagger by his plate so he could show it to Agyar when he joined us and ask of its origin. I could scarcely keep my eyes off of it all evening, something which Gaar eventually noticed.

  "Something wrong?" he asked suddenly, startling me.

  "Uh?" I snapped, looking up abruptly.

  "What are you staring at, girl? You've been like this all day."

  I raced through my thoughts for an explanation of my actions, and then only vaguely gestured at the knife.

  "Oh, it's… uhh… It's a good knife," I muttered finally. "That's all."

  "What? This?" he asked, holding up the dagger. I could feel those images pushing against my thoughts again, but I gave Gaar no answer to his query. Then he held it out to me suddenly.

  "It's yours, then," he said. "My gift to you. You've always appreciated daggers more than I, anyway."

  "Uh…" was all I said as Gaar lay it before me and went back to his meal. I looked at the blade, then glanced at Gaar, then back at the blade, until I shut my eyes and forced myself to finish my meal.

  "Kill him," a voice called in my mind, and I started and glanced quickly around the room. No one else was there but my husband. He had his back turned to me.

  "Did you say something?" I asked him.

  "Hmm?" he said, turning around. "I didn't say anything."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes. I'm sure," he said after a quick pause, then turned away again. I sat back in my chair and bit my lip. Someone outside, then, I thought to myself. Someone outside.

  "Kill him," the voice said again, and I sat up quickly.

  'The dagger…" the voice continued. "Use it. Kill him." I folded my arms tightly across my chest and tried to ignore it.

  I felt something making me turn my head, turn my gaze toward a small table where the dagger lay. Sweat began forming as I resisted the force, but it was little use. My gaze was locked onto the blade, the blade which barely reflected the dim light of the setting sun.

  The sunset! It was almost here. So what? I thought. The sun sets every day, so why should I fear it so much now?

  "Kill him," the voice continued, and I felt my hand reaching out for the knife. I soon held it in quivering hands, and my eyes were then made to look upon Gaar, who was engrossed in a book. Then I felt myself moving toward him, and I used every bit of my will to keep myself in place and call to him.

  "G-G-Gaar," I shivered. "Help me." He quickly looked up from the book, then shut it without another moment's notice after seeing my distress. But I don't believe he saw the dagger as he came instantly to my side.

  "What? What is it? What's wrong?" he pleaded.

  "Hold me," I whispered, and he obeyed instantly.

  "Shh," he said. "Calm yourself, love. Tell me what's wrong…" He was embracing me, and the images flooded into my mind like water rushing from a broken dam. I shut my eyes tight and let out an awful cry of terror, and fear, and anguish. I could feel my arms wrapping around Gaar, but not to hold him. To kill him.

  "Tell me what's wrong—"

  "NO!" I screamed, shoving him away with all my might. "I can't…"

  "Kill him," said the voice.

  "NO!" I shrieked. "I… can't…" My voice died out as my gaze fell toward the dagger—the one which still rested in my shaking hand.

  "I can't kill you," I whimpered to him. Gaar looked at me in growing confusion and horror, and I looked at the dagger again. I could feel my arm raising itself again.

  "Mara…" he whispered, and reached out to me.

  "Kill him. Before the sun sets…"

  "I'm sorry, Gaar," I said, tears choking my eyes and voice. "I… I… can't do it!" And with that, the knife dropped from my hand, barely missing my feet. I held my cheeks in horror and turned away from Gaar; I couldn't possibly face him now. Still, I felt a gentle hand rest on my back, but I would not let myself face him.

  "Mara…" he whispered. "You were… going to kill me?"

&
nbsp; My voice was lost in tears, however, and I could not answer him. Suddenly I felt myself being whipped around to face Gaar. His expression was not sympathetic.

  "Answer me!" he yelled. "Were you trying to kill me?I"

  "I don't know!" I screamed. "I don't—know…"

  "Damn your 'I don't knows," girl! You were going to kill me, weren't you? Weren't you?"

  "YES!" I screamed, and tried to turn away again, but Gaar held me fast. His fury was slowly changing to a look of hurt, of anguish, of unpardonable betrayal.

  "Why?" he asked, surprising me with his calmness.

  I shook my head slowly. "I—I thought it was a dream…" I started.

  "What was?"

  "In a forest… Gave me that…" I said, "He gave me that…"

  "Who?"

  "T-trying to remember…" I said. I sat down slowly, and Gaar knelt down to listen better. "These shape-things… creatures. I remember a voice… a voice telling me to kill you, Gaar. It was telling me to kill you!"

  "Whose voice?" he asked.

  I shook my head vaguely, unable to look at him. Then suddenly he grabbed me by the shoulder and shook me hard.

  "Answer me!" he roared. "Whose voice?"

  "I don't know!" I roared back, and my voice was lost under a barrage of tears. "I don't—know…"

  "Was it someone here?" he demanded. "Someone in this house?? Mara—who was it?"

  "I—I don't know, I—Wait… I can remember a little bit, I—"

  "Tell me then," he said. "Tell me everything you remember."

  "S-somebody… was talking to me…" I said. "Something about the moon. About men being hungry, and dying. I remember I was upset…"

  "Who were you talking to, Mara?" Gaar asked, much calmer now. "Try to just let it all come back naturally…"

  "W-well, he—he said things about… three thousand years, and… the moon is an eye. Did you know that, Gaar?"

  "You're not making sense, love," he said. "Just… try to remember who you were talking to."

  "But—wait," I said. "I—I thought it was you."

  "I wasn't talking about eyes and the moon, Mara. Was—was this the night I found you?"

  "Yes," I said. "It had to be you. I remember you picking me up."

  "But this was after you were attacked," he said. "I found you barely conscious, bleeding. Who did it, Mara? Who? Tell me—was it Agyar?"

  I looked at Gaar, and a light dawned in my mind.

  "Yes," I said. "Yes, it was him. He was telling me about the moon, and—and how he was immortal."

  "What? Immortal?"

  "And—and he said I could be, too…" I continued. "What does he mean, Gaar? I looked at him, and—and then you were there."

  "But he wasn't there when I was. No one was there when I found you. What did he do to you, Mara? How did he get away?" he asked. I could tell his anger was growing by the second.

  "I can only remember his eyes…" I said. .

  "What about his eyes?"

  "Burned through to my soul. Dark red… like glowing embers…"

  "Now you're making no sense again," he snapped, and snatched up the dagger from the floor and thrust it in front of my face. I tried to back away from it, but the chair didn't give me much room.

  "And what about this, eh?" he demanded. "Did he give you this and tell you to kill me with it?"

  "Please… I can't look at it…"

  "Well? Is that what he did?"

  "Yes!" I cried. "But—but I thought it was a dreamt I dreamt that he gave me a dagger, and—and he pricked his finger, and—and I drank from it, Gaar…" I said, looking up at him in great fear. Then I fell forward into his arms and wept with renewed tears.

  "Gods, Gaar, help me!" I cried. "Please… please, forgive met I don't understand this; what is he doing to me?"

  "That's what I'm going to find out, and this minute!" He tried to pull away, but I held on tightly.

  "Don't leave me," I said. "I'm afraid!"

  "Nothing's going to happen to you. Come, let me go…"

  "I would never want to hurt you," I continued. "I love you, Gaar, I—I would never think of killing you…"

  "I know, my love," he said, rubbing my head. "Now take my hand; we're going to find that monster and make him answer to what he's done to you!"

  "I'm afraid this is one 'monster' who answers to no one, Lord Magistrate," a slightly contemptuous voice called from the door. Gaar stood and whirled around the moment he heard it I looked away from the sound of it, however.

  "Agyar," I heard Gaar growl. "What you have done to my wife… you deserve death!"

  "I'm afraid that's not possible, Lord Gaarius," Agyar continued in the same tone as before. "You see, your wife was telling you the truth. I am… immortal."

  But Gaar was being carried away by his anger. I heard him whip out his sword, and I felt myself letting out a quick whimpering sound.

  "I would never kill an unarmed man," I heard him growl, "But by the gods I may do so now…"

  "Fool…" he said. "You haven't the merest idea of what you're dealing with!"

  "I need none," Gaar said, "I need only to know that you're some… some witch who's been twisting my wife's mind about! I should kill you this very moment, right where you stand," he growled.

  "You may try, Lord Gaarius," Agyar continued in an infinitely calm voice, "but it will accomplish nothing. Look at me. Watch."

  "Watch your 'dark red eyes,' I suppose?" he taunted. "I'd rather—uhh…"

  Curious as to what stopped Gaar's speech, I turned my head slowly toward the door, expecting to see Agyar's hypnotic eyes working on Gaar now. His eyes had indeed become red, but they were not glowing; they were simply red. Agyar seemed larger than usual—fuller, more muscular, and he held his arms high majestically before Gaar. Then he opened his mouth in a hideous smile—a smile made up of inhuman, fanged teeth. He began to make a noise—a low noise at first, almost like a moan, but it grew in intensity and pitch until it became a horrible shriek, and I saw Gaar cover his ears an instant before I began screaming myself.

  Soon all I could hear was my own scream, and I was being shaken by someone. I opened my eyes wide to see Gaar desperately trying to shake me back into calmness, and it worked for the most part, until I saw all the creatures that had suddenly joined us in the room.

  They were pale and naked and dirty, mostly hunched over and shuffling back and forth in place as they appeared to be studying us. At first they had looked completely inhuman—like demons, even, before I noticed disturbingly human features in their now-distorted, red-eyed, fanged faces. There were at least five of them, and Agyar stood directly in the middle of their group.

  "What… what… ?" Gaar flustered.

  "The word is vampire, Lord Gaarius," his voice boomed. "And I, Agyar, am the first vampire! I am the first to unlock the secrets of our power. Far more power than any mere mortal can possibly contain."

  "A… what?" Gaar said, eyeing the creatures around us nervously.

  "A vampire," he repeated, "And I have chosen her to be mine forever," he added, pointing at me.

  "Whatever you call yourself, dog," Gaar growled, "she is not yours to take. Mara is my wife, and she always will be!"

  "Do you truly believe that, human?" his voice boomed. "Why don't you ask her yourself? Why don't you ask her who she wants to have her?"

  "Filth!" cried Gaar. "I'd rather have your head!" He took a threatening step forward, but was stopped in his tracks as Agyar's creatures snarled and moved toward, their eyes burning brightly.

  "Gaaaarrr…" I whimpered, and he lowered his sword and jumped back to my side.

  "What are these… things?" he murmured.

  Agyar smiled coldly. "My most faithful servants, Lord Gaarius," he said. "Creatures with hardly my power, but each one of them more than a match for any human. They are without thought, without will. They obey me completely, totally. And they are here to finish what Mara was unable to. They are here to kill you."

  "No!!" I screamed, lea
ping to my feet. Agyar seemed a little startled by my ferocity. "You can't kill him! I won't let you! I don't want you! I don't want you!"

  Agyar was taken aback by my words, but Gaar was only made stronger by them as he placed his arms around me. I buried my head into his chest as he spoke.

  "It seems she has chosen who will 'own' her, vampire—or whatever you are. She won't be another one of your mindless creatures. And neither will I!"

  "True, Lord Gaarius. Neither of you will join my creatures. Mara—she is to become my wife—my confidante, my lover. And she will be just as intelligent, just as independent of spirit, just as beautiful as always. Only she will live forever. And you, Gaarius? You'll just be dead."

  That was enough for Gaar. Creatures or no creatures, he released his hold on me, brought up his sword again, and lunged straight for Agyar. Creatures grabbed at him from all sides as he completed his attack, and I almost screamed, but then a cry came out from Agyar himself. Slowly, surprisingly, the creatures drew away from Gaar and their master, and I could see the faces of Gaar and Agyar barely an inch away from each other. Gaar still held the hilt of his sword, and it was buried deep into Agyar's chest. I knew Gaar would hold his sword in place until Agyar collapsed, but the vampire suddenly gripped Gaar's shoulder and pushed him away, almost right into me.

  He stood there silently for an uncomfortably long time, the sword firmly embedded in him, before he very slowly and very calmly reached up to the handle. His face concealed any pain quite well as he calmly pulled the bloody blade from his chest, and then, to Gaar's and my horror, ran his finger along the edge and then licked the blood that came off of it. He then held the sword out to Gaar and smiled coldly.

  "Like to try that again?" he asked. Gaar reached out for the sword, hesitated, glanced at Agyar and his creatures, and then suddenly ripped the sword from his hands and threw his body straight into the vampire, knocking him almost but not quite off his feet and raced through the room to the door, towing me with him all the while. Everyone involved was caught completely off guard, especially me, who now had to catch my second wind as we raced through the endless halls and rooms of Agyar's home.

  We heard him shouting behind us, no doubt ordering his creatures to catch or stop us. And even Agyar's human servants knew about us, and those who saw us rush by sometimes tried to stop us, and a few even threw things at us.