Forever in Blue Jeans

by Lissa Matthews

  Shit.

  He couldn’t be, shouldn’t be, refused to continue thinking about her in those terms. Again. Still. His time with her was over. They had one night and not even a whole night at that, but it was done, over with. She was a client now. He was going to re-wire her rambling plantation house and then, with any real luck, he’d only see her rarely afterward.

  “Cort?”

  “Hmm?”

  Decker laughed. “You drifted.”

  Shit. Again. “Yeah well, it’s been a long day.”

  “I’d have thought the time zone difference wouldn’t be affecting you.”

  “It’s not.”

  “Jet lag should be gone,” Decker went on as though Cort hadn’t said anything.

  “I don’t get jet lag.”

  “Uh-huh. Did you sleep okay last night? It’s different than sleeping in hotels or in cities. It’s so quiet out here. Took a while for me to get used to it.

  “Yeah, slept fine. I don’t mind the quiet.”

  “Wanna talk about it, then? Whatever it is?”

  “What the hell are we? A couple of women? No, I don’t want to talk about it because there’s nothing to talk about.”

  “Did you uh… Did you see the pictures?” Decker whispered from across the deck.

  Cort shook his head. Just like a teenager to ask about the dirty pictures. Only Decker wasn’t a teenage boy anymore. Perv. “Yes. And no, I’m not going to tell you anything about them except to say they weren’t at all what I was expecting.” He got up and took two steps before the voice stopped him in his tracks.

  “Not leaving on my account, I hope?”

  Blue. And…him. The guy from the porch. The guy with his arm around Blue’s waist, holding her so tight against his body, holding her with such ease and familiarity that Cort wanted to punch him right in the nose and mess up his handsome face.

  “Hey, Blue,” Decker said from behind Cort’s still-as-the-night body. “Rosie said you might be coming.”

  “Hey there. Yes, Rosie strong-armed me into making cake.” Blue was still staring at Cort even as she spoke to the other man.

  “Hi, Decker, I’m Neil, Blue’s uh…friend. I don’t usually miss a barbecue, and when I heard about your skills with a grill, I was intrigued.”

  “Hey, man. Any friend of Blue’s is always welcome. So Rosie’s told you guys she only wants me for my meat?”

  Blue finally broke eye contact to look at Decker. She winked at him over Cort’s shoulder and laughed. “You could say that.” Decker’s bark of laughter was her reward, and the smile that lit up her face… Damn. Cort knew he’d been in trouble the second he’d laid eyes on his competition standing on Blue’s front porch, but seeing that her smile just now, hearing that sexy, Southern twang, seeing her body in a flowing skirt and jean jacket, and that long, black wavy hair all unruly and wild, he couldn’t think about anything else except wanting her.

  And that just pissed him the fuck off.

  He was supposed to be over her, not still wanting her, not still getting hard at the thought of her. But it was more than just the thought of her now; she was here, in front of him, living and breathing. Either way he looked at it, he was screwed.

  “We need to talk.” His uttered words were harsh, short. She turned those eyes back to him, all knowing, all willing.

  “Of course.” She turned to her companion. “Neil, I’ll be right back.”

  The other man looked back and forth between Cort and Blue, then winked at her. “Oh I don’t think so, B. I’ll just make myself at home, grab a beer, sit, and…gab. It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to catch up with Rosie.”

  “Yeah, I just bet y’all have loads to talk about.”

  How could a laugh be so full of innocence and yet so naughty at the same time? Cort had no idea, but that’s how he’d describe hers: freely offered and full-bodied, just like her. Something about that pissed him off even more.

  Without another word to him, she stepped around him and the picnic table in the middle of the deck to the steps that led down to the ground. Cort followed closely, trying his damnedest to ignore everything about the smooth, sure way her body moved. He’d kill to see her walk in heels and nothing else, to see the easy sway of her hips as she balanced herself, as they thrust out her chest and tightened her legs and thighs and lifted her ass.

  “Umph,” he uttered when his step faltered, and he tripped over a set of roots.

  “You okay back there?” she asked without slowing or stopping.

  “Fine,” came his clipped answer.

  The small lit path leading into the woods only went so far and once they were beyond it a little ways, their only light was from the moon. Blue seemed to know her way around, though. For that, he was grateful. She stopped a few inches in front of him and turned, the moon illuminating her face as she looked up.

  “You wanted to talk?”

  No, he didn’t want to talk. Not yet. Not now. He wanted to kiss the hell out of her for the next week and then maybe he’d be ready to talk. He curled his fingers into fists at his sides to keep from reaching for her, but then she surprised him. She reached for him, pressed herself against his body, and pulled his mouth down to hers.

  Lips, tongue, the kiss was all-consuming. If her tongue went any deeper down his throat, she’d be at his tonsils. She held on tight, and he could do nothing but wrap his arms around her, pull her harder into him, and kiss her just as deeply, just as thoroughly as she kissed him.

  She tasted of vanilla sweetness and rum. She felt right—of all terms to come to him—against him, in his hands. He wanted to stay attached to her mouth for the rest of the night, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t allow himself to get lost in her.

  He yanked his lips away, pressed them to her temple, breathing deeply of her scents, of the mild, clean night air. He nudged her back, holding her at arm’s length. He’d rather turn her around, bend her over, lift that skirt and… “Who is he?”

  It took a few seconds before she answered. “Neil.”

  “Who is he to you?”

  “A friend, just as he said.”

  “That’s it? A friend?”

  “What more do you want me to say? You asked a question, I answered.”

  “Is he a lover? Is he more than a friend? Do you sleep with him?” He’d decided earlier that it was none of his business, that he really didn’t care, but damn if he could convince himself of that.

  She tilted her head and gazed at him with a curious quizzical expression on her face. “Do you really want to know?”

  He wanted to say no. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that no he really didn’t want to know at all. “Yes.” The word slipped from his lips without his permission. “Do you sleep with him?” he asked again.

  “Why do you care, Cort? Why does it matter? Do you want to sleep with me?”

  His dick said yes. His head said yes. His gut said yes. He couldn’t let his mouth say it too. “Too damn much. Now answer the question,” he ground out.

  “Wow. I think I’m happy about that.”

  “I don’t know why you would be. There’s nothing to be happy about. It doesn’t make you any more special that I want to fuck you than it makes any other woman.”

  And she laughed. She laughed at him. “Not special? Really? Because from where I’m standing, I’m the only woman you want to fuck at the moment. What I don’t understand is why you’re being so mean about it. I know I did you wrong back in Savannah. I know I ran out like a coward, and you do have every right to be pissed about that. I don’t know about still being pissed five years later, but I guess seeing me after all that time brought it all back. I am sorry, Cort.”

  She was sincere, at least she sounded sincere in her apology. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her why she left him sleeping, but he didn’t know for sure that he wanted the answer. And he couldn’t think straight, not when she was crowding him. She took one, two, then more steps forward until she was once again pl
astered against his body.

  He took a deep breath and raked a hand through his hair. He focused on a spot above her head, somewhere in the dark, somewhere that was anywhere but him looking at her. “I don’t know, Blue. I don’t know why I’m being so mean, not in the house and not out here. I can’t seem to stop the words.

  “I wasn’t expecting you to be the friend Rosie asked me to see. I was expecting a stranger. I could have handled that. I could have handled you being some other lover, but you’re not some other lover. You’re you, and I don’t know how to handle it.” And he didn’t. He felt lost, unsure, uncertain, scared, off balance. In love with her.

  The truth of that statement was like a punch to the nuts, and it nearly doubled him over. He’d fallen in love with her the moment she looked up at him and smiled at the bar. He got that same stolen breath feeling when he saw her earlier in the day standing on her porch. He knew love existed. He grew up around it, had experienced it in college, but to feel it in an instant and with the same woman, twice… His heart was about as fucked as fucked could be.

  “I wasn’t expecting you either. I’m sorry we’ve both been caught off guard by the sudden appearance of the other. I know seeing the tattoo nudes shocked you, and I should have warned you, should have said something instead of springing them on you.” She touched him, her hand to his chest, right above his heart. He could swear the damn thing kicked into an even higher gear than it had been just seconds ago. “I didn’t intend to take the man that showed up to my private domain. I would never do that with a stranger, but you’re not a stranger. I might not have seen you for five years, but you’re not a stranger, Cort. My body knows it, my head knows, my heart knows it. I wanted a reaction out of you, something other than the distance and business-like attitude. I wanted to know if you still felt it too. Seeing how you reacted to the pictures told me all I needed to know.”

  “Yes, I still felt it. Beyond that, though, I don’t know.” And he didn’t. He didn’t know anything other than how much he wanted her under him, on top of him, in every room of the big house, in the middle of all the erotic images in her living room and he didn’t even really like tattoos on women.

  “Well, I tell you what. I’m not going anywhere, so when you figure it out—” she stood up on her toes and kissed him once, softly on the lips “—you let me know.”

  She’d whispered the last against his mouth before dropping back on her heels. Her hands slid up his chest, then down before she slipped away from him.

  He watched her disappear the way they’d come, and he wanted to go after her, just her.

  He wanted to stay right where he was for the rest of the night too. He didn’t want to sit across from her at dinner and watch her and her lover touch and kiss and whisper to each other.

  But then again, he didn’t want to be left out in the woods either. “Shit.”

  Chapter Three

  “What’s going on with you and Neil?” Blue sliced her baked rum cake into seven even pieces and plated it on the platter Rosie handed her.

  “Nothing,” Rosie answered a little too quickly. She cleared her throat. “Why would you think anything was going on?”

  Blue slanted her friend a look, totally not buying the innocent tone. “He just happens to show up at my house on the day a new electrician shows up? He just happens to show up on the day you’re having a cookout?”

  “Well, we always invite him.”

  “Uh-huh. I always invite him.” She turned to Rosie. “What are you up to?”

  “Nothing. I’m up to nothing.”

  “You are the biggest and worst liar. What about Cort? What are you up to with him?”

  “Nothing there either. I don’t know where you’d get the idea that anything at all is up with him. He’s Decker’s friend.”

  “He’s single too. Were you thinking if he didn’t go for me that maybe his tastes would run toward Neil’s side of the teeter-totter?”

  “Of course not.”

  “So, Cort was Decker’s idea?”

  “Yes.” Rosie leaned over. “He seems a little more, I don’t know, uptight, than the normal men you date. Decker seemed to think you might be good for him, though.”

  “You’re really going to pin this one on your boyfriend? Rosie, I’m just in shock. You don’t normally pass the buck like this. Besides,” she added while spooning some fresh berries—strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries—into a small serving bowl. “I don’t think Cort sees it that I’d be good for him.”

  “Why? What do you know?”

  He was Blue’s own private memory, her deep, dark fantasy, her secret, and thanks to the hands of fate, he was here, in the flesh, and she couldn’t keep him all to herself anymore. “I know him.”

  Rosie leaned away and studied Blue enough that it made her squirm under the scrutiny. Then Rosie leaned in close again. “Know him? How?”

  “From that trip I took to Savannah for Aunt V. We met in a bar down on the river.”

  “Oh my God. Does he remember you?”

  “Yes. So, with that knowledge, whatever it is that you and Neil have tried to cook up, you need to put a stop to right now.”

  “You can’t expect me to… I mean, we weren’t… Oh hell, Blue, how can you tell me something like that and just expect me to drop it? I know everything about you. At least I thought so, but apparently I was wrong. Did you…leave the bar together?”

  “Please. Drop. It.”

  “No, I will not. I want to know. I want to know everything,” Rosie whispered hotly. She sighed moments later. “After V died, you went on this…I don’t know what you call it. You don’t talk about it much. I guess you were trying to discover yourself. That’s what you said. You brought Neil back with you too. You were even more wild and untamed than when we were in college and getting weekly spankings at the club. I always envied you those months you were gone, that freedom.”

  “You did some of it too, long before I did. You just went on culinary tours. That’s always been your first love. The naughty spanking didn’t get to you until college.”

  “I did and I have loved my life. I have food, the diner, Decker, but you…you’ve always been able to go after what you want, no matter what, full steam ahead, never afraid.”

  “You have too in your own way. And look, you’ve got the man of your dreams, complete with a variety of leather goods.”

  “I know, and I regret nothing. You’re just… You’re still my best friend after all these years.”

  “Good. And you’re mine. We’ve taken a few different paths to get where we are. Your present life was thrust upon you by your parents. Mine was given to me in a variety of ways since V died. No regrets on this end either.”

  “Blue? Does he feel anything for you? Did he then? Did you?”

  “Yes. We need to drop it, though, Rosie. Please. You and Neil need to stop plotting and planning. Okay?” When her friend didn’t agree, Blue pinched off the edge of one piece of cake and offer it up. “Promise is me, and you can have cake.” Rosie made a small pout with her full lips, and Blue grinned. “C’mon, you know you want a taste.”

  “Oh do we have a little girl-on-girl action going on? Do I need to call the other guys in? Do we need to pull up chairs to watch?”

  Blue looked over Rosie’s shoulder to Decker as he walked toward them with a hot of the grill pan of hamburgers and chicken. The smell alone had her belly grumbling in impatient protest of being hungry and having to wait to eat. “Well, I would say yes, but since I’m the only one I know of who swings both ways, I think you’ll just have to use your imagination.”

  His eyes grew about as big as the plate he was holding, and it took everything Blue had in her not to laugh.

  “Damn.” Disappointment made him frown. “I thought for sure we’d have some entertainment along with dinner.”

  “Keep dreaming.”

  “What the hell’s going on in here? I’m starving.”

  Buck wandered in rubbing his han
d across his very tight abs that even his T-shirt couldn’t conceal. Cort wasn’t too far behind, followed by Caroline and Neil, who were laughing. Blue wanted to ask what was so funny, but the look Cort gave her over the heads of his friends stopped the words on her tongue. She stared back at him for as long as it took to convince herself not to run and jump him to the floor. Everything going on around them meant nothing, didn’t faze her at all. It was just him and the distance between them.

  When she thought she had a solid hold on her urges, she cleared her throat and turned back to the counter. She could do this. She could make it through the night. Men didn’t fluster her, didn’t intimidate her, didn’t make her want to run and hide away. They didn’t make her want to crawl on her hands and knees to their feet and wait for whatever pleasure they wanted to take from her.

  Men didn’t hold that kind of power over her. At the same time, she didn’t hold that kind of power over them either. Rosie was a submissive. Seemed Caroline was too. But Blue, nope, not a chance. Blue was kinky, sexual, and strong.

  And the trembling in her hands, well, that was because she was hungry and her blood sugar was dropping. No would could prove different.

  “You okay, B?”

  Neil’s voice was comfortable and safe, as was his presence, and she leaned back into his chest as he stood behind her. His arms wrapped around her, and she took a couple of deep breaths. “Yeah.”

  “I don’t believe you,” he whispered with his lips buried in her hair.

  “I know, but we can both pretend you do, right?”

  “Want him bad, huh?”

  “So much it doesn’t make a lick of sense.”

  “He’s just different from me and the other guys you’ve played with. We’re your friends. We don’t threaten who you are or the life you’ve chosen.”

  “I don’t think he does either, it’s just…I don’t know.” She shook her head and stepped out of Neil’s embrace. With steadier than she thought possible hands, she picked up the plate with the cake slices and another six-pack of beer for the ice bucket outside. She turned to face the room of gathered friends, new and old. “Let’s eat,” she said a little too brightly, lifting the contents she held.