Shattered (Shattered #1)

by D'Agostino, Heather

  “Nick?”

  “Hmmm?” he glanced up at me and then went back to the menu.

  “There aren’t any prices on here,” I swallowed hard, and watched him for a reaction.

  “I know,” he didn’t look up that time, “Get whatever you want. I’ve got it covered.”

  “Are you sure?” I felt bad. I was never one to take advantage on a date. I always tried to find something on the lower end of the price range no matter who was taking me out.

  “Leah, can you just let me take you on a date without all the questions. I’ve been away, and I want to spend a romantic evening with you. Not everything we do has to be hard,” he sighed, and shook his head.

  “I just…never mind. This place is great. Thank you,” I murmured.

  “You’re welcome,” he nodded.

  When the waiter came back, Nick ordered us both a steak. I was slightly surprised that he would order for me. He’d never done that in the past, and I’d only seen it in the movies. I sipped my wine, as I waited for him to tell me whatever it was that had caused this behavior. He was not acting normal, and it was slowly driving me crazy.

  “So…are you going to tell me?” I cocked a brow as I set my wine glass back down.

  “Tell you what exactly?” he shifted in his seat.

  “What all this is about,” I waved my arms around. “You’ve never taken me to a place like this.”

  “Damn Leah, can’t I take you on a nice date? I mean really…what’s the big deal?”

  “I just…you never have before,” I mumbled.

  “Well yeah…because I was a kid back then, and this was beyond my capabilities,” he sighed, and leaned forward as he placed his napkin in his lap. “What’s going on with you tonight?”

  “Nothing…I guess I just miss the old you.”

  “What? The one who could only afford pizza from your dad’s shop because he gave me a discount. The one who busted his ass every day at work just so he could make ends meet. The one who could only afford to take you out to that dirt road, and star gaze for a romantic date? That one?”

  “You make it sound awful,” I began to tear up. “I loved that version of you. This one doesn’t seem real. This one seems like he only wants to impress me with money, and the finer things in life. I don’t need any of that,” I pointed around the room. “I had all of this in Atlanta…all the fancy parties, the schmoozing, the formal wear. That’s where I got these,” I pointed to my shoes.

  Nick grinned as he looked at my foot, “I love those.”

  “Nick be serious. I came back here didn’t I? I had all the things that you keep showing me…I thought I wanted them, but the truth is, all I wanted was you. I don’t want you to change for me.”

  “Noted,” Nick ground his teeth together like he was fighting with something he wanted to say, but he stayed quiet.

  When the waiter came back with our food, Nick picked up his fork, and began shoveling his dinner into his mouth as fast as he could chew. As the tension seemed to rise between us, I slowly began to lose my appetite. We ate the rest of our dinner in silence as the happy couples around us blurred into the distance. I had done it again. I turned what Nick had planned as a nice evening into something totally different, and I could feel the guilt rising. It was like I was sabotaging us subconsciously. What was wrong with me?

  Chapter 18

  Leah

  As we finished our dinner, Nick paid our bill, and ushered me back out to his truck. I wasn’t sure what else he had planned for the evening, but it was still fairly early. The guilt that I was feeling over the way I acted at dinner was sitting heavy on my shoulders. I wasn’t sure how, but I wanted to try to save the evening.

  “Um Nick?” I glanced at him as he climbed into the truck.

  “What?”

  “Avery’s going out with Logan tonight. Some kinda trial date, I’m not exactly sure, but she said she wasn’t coming home. You wanna stay over tonight?” I bit my lower lip, and waited to see what he was going to say.

  “That’s up to you,” he shrugged. “You seem like you don’t want to be around me right now.”

  “I do…I really do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I sighed. “I guess I’m just trying to feel my way around this. I mean…we’re both so different now, and it’s like we’re stuck in the past.”

  He nodded, and started the truck, “I’ve got somewhere else we can go first, that is if you’re willing.”

  “Ok.”

  ooooooooo

  As the truck ambled along the country roads, I really didn’t pay attention. I guess if I had been, I wouldn’t be surprised where we ended up. When Nick cut the engine, I glanced up, and out the windshield. I grinned at him, “So the old Nick still is in there somewhere, eh?”

  Nick chuckled, “I haven’t changed that much, and this is our place.”

  “We haven’t been back here since I first got back to town. I didn’t think you’d want to,” I shrugged as I unbuckled my seat belt.

  “Yeah well, you seemed like you needed this tonight,” he turned in the seat to face me. “I haven’t changed that much Leah, but I have grown up. I’m not the kid I once was, and I’m trying to make my life better. I want a future for us. I want to be able to provide you with the life you deserve.”

  “You love me Nick, that’s all I need right now,” I leaned in and kissed his cheek.

  “You sound like the dreamer I used to be. I always told myself that love would be enough. That if I loved you with everything I had, that you’d choose me,” he shook his head as a sadness settled over us. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “No…I get it. I really do,” I slowly slid across the bench seat of the truck, and leaned my head on his shoulder. “Back then, I don’t think I realized what I had until I lost it. I mean…I always thought you’d just leave with me. I never thought about the possibility of you saying no. I was unrealistic.”

  “We were kids. Things change,” he mumbled as he wrapped his arm around me.

  “Yeah…I’m just glad we’re past that. I mean…I don’t know what I’d do if I had to make that decision again,” I sighed as I nuzzled into his shoulder.

  Nick stiffened, “What do you mean?”

  “Well, my dad’s all alone now. He doesn’t have anybody but me to help him,” I shifted so I could look up into his eyes. “If I was given the chance again…to leave…I don’t think I could do it. There’s too many reasons to stay now.”

  “I think we should go now,” Nick removed his arm from around my shoulders, and moved to crank the truck up.

  “Ok,” I wrinkled my brow at him. Something was bothering him, and it was driving me nuts that he wouldn’t tell me.

  ooooooooo

  When we got back to my place, Nick walked me to the door, and waited on the porch. He kept looking around, as if he was waiting for me to say something. He shifted nervously from side-to-side, and clasped his hands together. Once I got the door unlocked, I opened it, and began to step inside. Nick didn’t follow me, but reached out to grasp my arm halting me.

  “I think I’m going to go home tonight,” he murmured,

  I spun, and let my mouth fall open, “What? Is this about what I was saying at the restaurant? You think I don’t want to be with this version of you?”

  Nick’s eyes flashed open, “No…this is about something else.”

  “What?” I stepped closer to him and placed my hands on his chest.

  “I can’t tell you right now,” he stepped back so my hands fell limp by my sides.

  “No Nick…we’re not doing this. Whatever this is…tell me,” I shook my head and advanced forward. “Don’t hide stuff from me.”

  He shook his head, and ran his hands down his face. Whatever it was…it was bad. He never acted like this. After taking several deep breaths, he lifted his head, and our eyes connected.

  “I’m leaving in three weeks,” he stated resolutely. “I got a job offer, and I took it. I’m moving…to Wilm
ington,” he nodded as he watched me waiting for my reaction.

  “You’re what?” I gasped as I felt my throat tightening. This could not be happening. We were finally getting somewhere, and now he was just going to up and leave. “I can’t believe you’re doing this!’ I screamed. “You didn’t even ask me! How long have you know about this?” I couldn’t stop. I stumbled backward toward the front door all the while shaking my head at him.

  He tried to reach for me, but I put my hands up in a defensive stance. This is what he’d been contemplating all night. I’d seen it in his eyes. How the hell had I missed it? The way he talked about changing, wanting to be better, to be able to provide. How had I let this happen and not seen it coming?

  “What about me?” I sobbed as I sunk down on the porch. I knew I should go inside, but I couldn’t seem to move at the moment.

  “I…I was hoping you’d come with me,” Nick lifted his arms to the side.

  “I can’t leave Nick, you know that. I can’t leave my dad…he needs me,” I glared up him. “You did this,” I pointed at him as my hurt morphed into anger. “You knew I wasn’t going to be able to leave, and yet you said yes without even asking me.” I pushed to a standing position, and opened the front door. “Get out!” I pointed away. “I don’t want you here!” I stepped through the open door, and slammed it in his face as he tried to follow me.

  I could hear his footsteps as they marched down the front steps, and headed back in the direction of his truck. As the engine started, I slid down the inside of the door, and finally released the sobs I’d fought so hard to control. My display on the porch was nothing compared to the heart wrenching display I had going on now. I felt so stupid to think that things had changed…that Nick would choose me. I was an idiot…he didn’t want a future with me, if he did…he would have told whoever offered him this job, no.

  ooooooooo

  Nick

  Well that went well, I shook my head as I pounded on the steering wheel. I can’t believe that she could be so pig headed. I mean seriously, I’m trying to make a better life for us. How can she just cut me off like that? I should have known that taking this job was going to be the end of us. Five years ago when the universe split us apart had to be a sign. We were not meant to be together, not meant to go the distance.

  As I drove through town, my truck seemed to know where I wanted to go. I didn’t even realize where I was headed until I turned into the parking lot. Dave’s was my old hangout. They had cheap beer, and willing women. I huffed out a breath, as I opened my door, and made the trek into the bar.

  It wasn’t very busy tonight being a Wednesday. Usually the weekends were their busy days, but I didn’t care. I trudged over to the bar, and climbed up on a stool. “Whiskey, neat,” I sighed as the bartender approached me.

  “Rough night?” a voice I didn’t want to hear giggled beside me.

  “You could say that…what do you want Becca?” I growled without looking at her.

  “Easy tiger. I just figured I’d keep you company. You seem like you need it,” she leaned in next to me pressing her ample breasts into my arm that was resting on the bar.

  “Sure…whatever,” I grabbed the tumbler that was now in front of me, and tossed back the amber liquid. When I placed it back on the bar, I flicked it with my fingers sending it in the direction of the bartender, “Another.”

  After what seemed like hours, and who knows how many shots, I had managed to numb myself. I began to forget the anger that Leah had been spewing, and honestly had reached a point that I didn’t care anymore. Maybe the fact that Becca was now on my lap kissing my neck, and pressing her breasts into my chest had something to do with it.

  “Let’s get outta her,” she whispered into ear as she trailed her hand down my chest. When she reached my belt, she kept moving south until she palmed my hard on through my pants. “I can take care of this. You know it would feel so good. Remember how great we were together?” She ground her hips into me. I guess if I hadn’t been blitzed out of my mind, I might have been embarrassed, we were in bar with other patrons.

  “You read my mind,” I groaned as I reached for my wallet, and tossed a few bills on the bar. Becca climbed off me, grabbed my hand, and pulled me out the door after her.

  When we got into the parking lot, she led us over to her Volvo. “I’ll drive,” she giggled as she unlocked the doors.

  As we climbed in, she glanced over at me, “So…does Leah know you were here tonight?”

  I sighed as I looked over at her in my drunken haze, “Leah who?”

  She giggled as she reached over and squeezed my dick through my pants, “Your place or mine?”

  “Mine’s closer,” I mumbled as I pulled my seatbelt across my lap, and we turned on to the road.

  I knew what I was doing was wrong, I just didn’t care at the moment. I had tried…I really did. I wanted things to work with Leah, but she didn’t seem to see how great this job was. Becca was there, and she was willing to give me the send-off I wanted. Was I going to regret this? Probably. The alcohol in my system, along with Becca was going to help ease my pain. Becca was a sure thing, and I knew what to expect from her. She’d give me what I wanted with no attachment. She’d take away the pain, and leave. I wouldn’t have to worry about a future with her because she didn’t want one.

  Chapter 19

  Nick

  As I slowly began to rouse from sleep, I felt her. A warm body was pressed up against my side. My addled brain fought to remember the night before, and as soon as it all started coming back, my eyes flew open. Sure enough, blonde hair was splayed out on the pillow beside me along with a body that did not belong to my girlfriend. I blinked, and tried to clear the vision in front of me. This was not happening. What had I done?

  Becca groaned and slid closer as she burrowed further into the sheets. I glanced around the room, and notice our clothes tossed everywhere. The wild night slowly came into focus. We had come back here, and gone at each other like wild animals. I couldn’t remember how many times we’d actually had sex before I passed out.

  Becca lifted her head, and smiled, “Morning.”

  “Get out,” I snapped. “You weren’t supposed to be here when I woke up.”

  “Gees Nicky, what crawled up your ass this morning?”

  “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” I groaned as I rolled away from her.

  Becca huffed as she pulled herself from the sheets, and began dressing. “Call me later if you want another night. I can make you forget all about HER if you give me the chance.”

  “Get out!” I growled as I grabbed a shoe and threw it in her direction.

  “You’re an asshole! You know that?” she shrieked as she stomped out of the room, and slammed the door.

  “Yeah…I’m a real winner,” I grumbled as I pulled the pillow over my head.

  ooooooooo

  Leah

  When I heard the front door open and close almost soundlessly, I knew Avery was home. I waited to see if she would stop by my room, but knowing her…she probably assumed that Nick was in here.

  Just that thought had me crying again. I had spent most of the night bawling my eyes out as I replayed our evening. Nick had been so sketchy most of the night with his ramblings about the future. Did I want a future with him? I did, but I couldn’t leave my dad. He was counting on me to help him in the shop. He hadn’t hired a new manager since mom had stopped working for him. I had been filling in. If I left, there’d be no one there.

  Tears began to trickle down my cheeks once again leaving wet streaks. My eyes hurt they were so red and puffy. I think I’d maybe slept for ten minutes last night, if I was lucky. I was so lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t hear my door creak open.

  “Holy shit! What’s wrong?” Avery darted into my room, and knelt down beside me on the bed.

  I shook my head, still unable to put what happened the night before into words.

  “Nick did this…didn’t he?” she growled as she reache
d over me to wrap her arms around my shoulders.

  I pulled back slightly. She smelled like Logan. His woodsy scent permeated her hair. “You smell like him,” I crinkled my nose.

  “Sorry,” she backed up slightly. “This is more important than a shower right now.”

  “Avery,” I began to sob again. “He’s leaving…and he…didn’t…even ask…me,” I choked out.

  “What? Who’s leaving? Nick?” she crinkled her forehead, and darted her eyes around.

  I nodded, “he told me last night. He’s moving. He didn’t even ask me if I’d go with him. He just assumed that I would. I’m so mad at him right now.”

  Avery smirked, and then sobered her face when I scowled, “seems to me that the shoes on the other foot now. Doesn’t feel so good does it?”

  “This is not the same thing,” I huffed, and crossed my arms. “He has a job here. I’m here. Why would he want to leave?”

  “Leah…he’s trying to make a better life for himself. Would you listen to yourself? He wants to be with you. He wants to be the man that you see him as. He wouldn’t have taken this job, if he didn’t think it was going to make things better.”

  I slumped down on the bed. Was she right? Was I overreacting? Could I really do it? Leave again? With Nick? “Do you think I could do it? Leave?” I glanced over at her.

  She nodded, and hugged me, “Your dad loves you. He would support this,” she whispered in my ear.

  I wiped at my eyes, and stood from the bed. I slid my feet into a pair of flip flops, and grabbed my purse off the floor. When I pulled my cell out, I notice that the battery had gone dead. If Nick had tried to call me, he wouldn’t have been able to get through.

  “I need to go,” I mumbled as I dashed toward the front door.

  “Go get him,” Avery giggled from behind me.

  ooooooooo

  As I drove through town heading toward Nick’s house, I began running the previous night’s conversation through my head. He had looked so distraught over the fact that I was mad at him. It had been obvious after the fact that he’d been trying to tell me that he was leaving all night. I knew that I was going to run out of chances of fixing this if I wasn’t careful. I’d been pushing him away so much recently. He’d stuck by me through all the stuff with my mom, he’d given me a second chance when I came home, even the other night when we were fighting about Becca and his past, he’d forgiven me for that too.