Saint Leibowitz and the Wild Horse Woman

by Walter Michael Miller, Jr.

  Demon Light let his battle fury subside, as it usually did in the face of the Weejus consensus, if no Bear Spirit objection arose. After the council, Bråm assembled a force of eighty warriors and led them south by east to intercept this mounted militia of townsmen from the mountains. His men had armed themselves with new five-shooters as well as traditional lances, but Eltür ordered ten repeating rifles brought along for killing officers at a distance if they met resistance from the townsmen.

  Then he took an action which changed the course of the war. He sent for Black Eyes, who had been captured during Hultor’s raid. The man had been imprisoned by the Hannegan and had met Cardinal Brownpony in jail, but he was released months later to carry a message from Filpeo to his horde. Both Demon Light and the Emperor knew Black Eyes was a double agent, but as such he could be useful to both.

  “Tell your contacts about Hadala’s expedition,” said the sharf, “so they can mount a defense in that area. And tell them I told you to tell them. If they want to know why I let them know, explain that I want hostilities to cease between the Grasshopper and Texark.”

  “The farmers will be glad to hear it,” said Black Eyes with a snicker; he left camp immediately for the frontier.

  Demon Light was not really turning on his allies, because he was not convinced of his own complaint of betrayal by the Pope, for while Brownpony alone might be foolish enough to launch such a venture, Brownpony had good advisers on Nomad affairs. Some were sent to him by Holy Madness, Lord of the Hordes. And Eltür thought highly of one of the Pope’s secretaries, the Nomadic interpreter monk Nyinden, who spoke Grasshopper so well. None of these counselors would allow Brownpony to believe that Chuntar Hadala’s incursion into Nomad country was acceptable to the Grasshopper, even were it not militarily stupid on the face of it. When his initial berserk reaction to the news of the advent subsided, Demon Light expected his war party to be confronted—not by a force of official crusaders launched by a Pope, but by a motley parade put in motion by the lunacy of lesser men.

  When Brownpony first learned about Hadala’s mission, he himself cried betrayal, and his anger was stirred against his successor in the Secretariat of Extraordinary Ecclesiastical Concerns. The Pope could think of no reason why Sorely Nauwhat would betray him or lend support to a harebrained scheme to arm and assist such dubious allies as Hadala’s flock of gleps in the Valley, at the cost of probable hardening by Texark of its western frontier. Hadala had gone crazy in the service of his flock, the Pope decided. He would think thus: If Brownpony can arm the Nomads, I can arm the real Children of the Pope—not the spooks in the Suckamints, but the gleps in the Watchitah and Ol’zarks. The Pope could understand Hadala’s passion for his own people, but not Sorely Nauwhat’s duplicity in the ridiculous undertaking.

  The possibility that his old friend Nauwhat had simply gone over to the enemy never occurred to Brownpony until it was put to him by Abraha Cardinal Deacon Linkono, the New Jerusalemite schoolteacher who was invited to join the Curia because he knew everyone in this nation now playing host to the papacy.

  “But what could Filpeo Harq possibly offer that would tempt Sorely Nauwhat to betray us?” Pope Amen II wanted to know.

  “The papacy perhaps?” the schoolteacher guessed.

  Stung by Linkono’s speculation, Brownpony sent an immediate message to Valana ordering Cardinal Nauwhat and Brother St. George to appear before him. By including Blacktooth in his summons, the Pope hoped to alleviate suspicion in case Sorely really was guilty. Within two weeks, however, the messenger returned with the news that Blacktooth had gone with the Valanan Militia, and that Nauwhat had disappeared shortly after their departure. The news was very depressing to Brownpony. He called his Nomad messengers and instructed one of them to pursue Hadala’s militia and order him to turn back. He deputized another as an Officer of the Curia to arrest Nauwhat on sight if found in Nomad country and to arrest Hadala if he disobeyed the order to retreat. He sent a third messenger to assure the Grasshopper sharf that Hadala’s sortie was not authorized, for the Pope feared the wrath of Demon Light.

  The Nomad messenger-service families, both Wilddog and Grasshopper, had for decades enjoyed a monopoly on a High Plains relay parcel delivery between Valana and New Rome. They kept fixed camps, and for this un-Nomadic practice they were not admired within their hordes. Sneering warriors would ask to see their “vegetable patches.” But they had made money, and they used it to buy horses from outsiders, thus freeing themselves from family obligations incurred by both buyer and seller when the seller was a Nomad mare woman. Brownpony had always used the relay families for communicating with the sharfs and the tribal chiefs. Now he used them for keeping in touch with the Qæsach dri Vørdar, and he was encouraging the families to establish relay stations north of the Misery River and well beyond the reach of Texark patrols. He had already sent messages toward the King of the Tenesi and several other rulers beyond the Great River, and he was awaiting news from that front.

  To New Jerusalem Brownpony had brought two Wilddog and two Grasshopper riders to open a branch office of the families’ service. In the abrupt wake of Nauwhat’s and Sorely’s defection, he now found need for three of them. To one Grasshopper rider he gave a message for Demon Light. It “authorized” Bråm to exercise the papal warrant for the arrest of two princes of the Church in his territory with authorization to imprison them humanely. Forgetting for a moment that the Pope understood their dialect, this Grasshopper rider said to his kinsman, “Our sharf will surely appreciate these new powers in his own realm.”

  “Your family must send us someone less sarcastic,” Pope Amen said to him in half-decent Grasshopper. “You can pass your message on to the next Wilddog relay rider tomorrow. Then you can start riding home to tall-grass country. Your family can send us your replacement when you get there.”

  He stopped looking at the man and spoke to the Wilddog rider. “You can be home tomorrow, and relay my message to Hadala from there. It will get to him quicker that way. We can’t give arrest powers to a Wilddog in Grasshopper country. We do deputize you to arrest Nauwhat anywhere else you may find him. There will be a reward for him. Spread the word on that.”

  He turned to the second Grasshopper. “You must chase Hadala all the way to Ol’zarkia if you need to. Give him a copy of the same message. If he’s not already obeying it and coming home by the time you catch up with him, you can read aloud to his men paragraph seven. It excommunicates all Hadala’s followers who do not disband and desert at once. Arm yourself, but try to get help from your sharf in making the arrest.” He then looked pointedly at the maker of the sarcastic remark.

  “When you see a man you can’t control about to take the law into his own hands, you might as well save yourself embarrassment and put the law in his hands yourself.”

  The man—having already been fired—answered back: “Nevertheless, Your Holiness will be embarrassed when I tell Sharf Eltür you said that.”

  Brownpony glared at him for a moment, then broke out laughing. “All right, you can come back here after you pass the message for Bråm to the relay. Someday we’ll need an insolent rider with a gift for blackmail.”

  Grandmother Grasshopper raised insolent colts and children. “Maybe I’ll come back, and maybe I won’t,” the relay rider said.

  Chuntar Hadala’s war party and ammunition train traveled faster than anyone expected. The moon was nearly full again in the late days of July, but when it left the world dark, setting before dawn, Blacktooth could see distant points of light on the eastern horizon. They looked like fires. Would farmers keep night fires burning? Nimmy knew that a relay messenger had come from the west with a message for Cardinal Hadala on the 28th. The messenger had seemed surprised to find Cardinal Nauwhat with the train. Of course, the Cardinal Secretary had left Valana two days late, and by night, so that no one in the city could be sure of his destination or whereabouts. The messenger left again, but the effect of the message on the cardinals was to command a forced march. Th
e troop rode eastward until midnight.

  The next morning, the sun arose above the distant hills where Nimmy had seen points of firelight in the night. Beyond those hills would lie the sprawling glep settlements of “the Valley.” After a fast breakfast of biscuits and tea, the militia rode on toward them.

  Two days later, near sundown, the Grasshopper sharf with a war band overtook them from the west. The militia had already camped for the night. After conferring with the cardinals, Major Gleaver ordered the wagons arranged in a defensive array and the men to take cover in expectation of an attack.

  “This is crazy, Nimmy,” Aberlott said. “They are allies.”

  “Just don’t obey any order to shoot. I’ll talk to them.” Blacktooth walked out of the defensive position and went to meet the Grasshopper warriors as they approached. He could hear Major Gleaver yelling at him to come back, and he stopped once when a Nomad raised a rifle at him; Demon Light spoke a word, and the rifle was lowered. He recognized the monk and beckoned him on.

  A bullet struck the ground near Blacktooth’s feet. The report came from behind him. The Nomad who had lifted the rifle lifted it again and returned fire. Nimmy looked back in time to see one of the lieutenants standing beside Gleaver drop his pistol and fall to the ground.

  “For God’s sake, stop shooting, you fools!” Nimmy yelled.

  “I’ll try you and hang you!” the major yelled back.

  Behind Gleaver stood Chuntar Hadala, looking grim.

  Sharf Bråm lingered just beyond gunshot range, and he sat there for several minutes while the monk came up to him.

  “You remember me?” Blacktooth asked.

  Bråm nodded. “But what is the Pope’s servant doing with these men?”

  “I’m not the Pope’s servant now. My master left Valana without me.”

  “Yes, I knew that. I took him south to meet Dion. He thought you abandoned him. Did you?”

  “Not intentionally. I was not in the city when the Palace exploded. When I came back, he was gone and I was drafted into the militia.”

  “You seem not to have been told the news.”

  “What news is that, Sharf Bråm?”

  Demon Light, unable to read for himself, handed the monk a letter. Blacktooth read it with mounting dismay, looked at Eltür, then back at the cardinals.

  “This must be the same message Cardinal Hadala got.”

  “You go tell him what it says, and ask him. Then tell him if he continues east, I shall not arrest him if he travels alone.”

  “Alone? I don’t understand. What about Cardinal Nauwhat?”

  It was Eltür’s turn to be surprised. “Is he here? Then they can travel east together. The rest of you will stay here.”

  “I don’t understand. They seem to be expecting you to attack.”

  “They expect me to arrest them. Doesn’t the message say that? What they don’t know is that I already sent a messenger to the Texark border guard. The enemy knows you’re coming, and he knows why. The only way Hadala can keep the guns from the Hannegan is to give them to us. And the only way the cardinals can escape from me is to surrender to the Hannegan’s border guard. Then the rest of you go home. Remind them what Høngan Ösle Chür did to Esitt Loyte. We can do as much for them, if we have to arrest them.”

  The letter Blacktooth had read said nothing about handing the cardinals over to the Hannegan, but he chose not to argue. When he returned to the camp, everyone was watching him and Ulad was waiting to seize him. At the last moment, he changed direction to put a group of recruits between himself and the spook sergeant. He spoke quickly to Aberlott:

  “The sharf has orders from the Pope to arrest the cardinals. If we resist, we are all excommunicated. And the enemy is ready for us, because Bråm warned them we were coming. Tell the men, especially Sergeants Gai-See and Woosoh-Loh. Tell them to pray, and let Hadala see them praying.”

  He tried to get to the cardinals before Ulad got to him, but the giant was fast. He arrived in a headlock and was forced to his knees. Sorely Nauwhat since joining the expedition had seemed anxious to avoid Blacktooth, and he now hurried away. Chuntar Hadala bent over the monk. He was a glep himself, his skin dappled with various shades of brown—a common mutation—but he was a handsome man in spite of it, with a goatee and a long mustache that had once been golden.

  “Well, Brother, tell us about your conversation with the Nomad warlord,” said the Vicar Apostolic to the Watchitah Nation.

  “Your Eminence won’t shoot the messenger?”

  “Nobody sent you as a messenger!” the cardinal snapped. “And the major may yet have you shot. Just tell us what you found out.”

  “Have you seen the fires in the east at night, m’Lord?”

  “Yes, they are our people’s beacons. They know we’re here.”

  “So does Texark. The sharf warned them you were coming. The fires belong to the cavalry.”

  The lighter patches of the cardinal’s skin drained of color. “They are supposed to be allies!” he gasped. “Why does he sell us out to the enemy?”

  Blacktooth, under threat and afraid, decided not to mention the Pope’s letter directly. Hadala already possessed a copy.

  The monk resumed: “He says he will not arrest you and Cardinal Nauwhat if you surrender to the Texark troops. He orders the rest of us to surrender the weapons to him and get out of his country.”

  Hadala sputtered, and went in search of Nauwhat. Soon he came back with an order.

  “Go see him again. Invite him here to parley. We will stay out in the open where his men can see us. If he comes alone, he may come armed. Do you think an oath by me that he will not be harmed or taken captive would help?”

  Blacktooth thought about it for a moment. “No. He might find it insulting.”

  “Do the best you can without it, then.”

  The sharf was not reluctant. He borrowed a second pistol from a warrior, tied the leash of a heavily built war dog to his belt, grasped the monk by his uniform collar, and began walking toward Hadala’s encampment with a gun to Nimmy’s head.

  “I’m not going to hurt you.”

  “I’m no good as a hostage, Sharf Bråm. They won’t care if you kill me.”

  As they stopped before Hadala, Gleaver, and Hadala’s Grasshopper guide, Eltür released Blacktooth, untied the dog’s leash, and barked a single word at the animal, who began to growl and stare at the cardinal.

  “If I’m shot, the dog kills you.”

  Hadala spat venom at Demon Light for trafficking with the enemy, and Blacktooth translated it.

  The sharf ignored it. Bråm waved an arm toward the east and spoke in short sentences; between them Blacktooth translated:

  “This eastward lane here will be kept open. It goes from your camp to the hills yonder and to sunrise. When an armed man steps into the lane, we shoot him. An unarmed man gets one warning shot. But you and the other Red Hat may pass, going east. Take with you any disarmed officers you wish. Red Beard ordered me to arrest and hold you. I am Sharf of the Grasshopper Horde. I give orders here. Empty Sky is my Pope. The Wild Horse Woman is my sister. Høngan Ösle is my Lord.” Demon Light gestured broadly at the sky, at the earth, and again toward the northwest prairie where his Lord would be encamped. After a pause, he went on grandly. “I, the sharf of this country, offer you Grasshopper hospitality. You will be required to gather dry turds for the kitchen fires. And the women will make you shovel horseshit. They will tease you a lot, but you will not be hurt. When Red Beard sends for you, you must go to him. If you don’t accept our hospitality, you just march east. Without arms and without men. The Hannegan’s men will take you in. He may be glad to get you.”

  “Are you including Major Gleaver?” Hadala asked sourly.

  Eltür grew impatient, and began talking in longer sentences. He knew nothing of Gleaver. He had already been told he could take unarmed officers. Bråm made scattered remarks about the cardinal’s stupidity. Blacktooth waited for him to pause and then summarized.
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br />   “Let Major Gleaver cooperate in his own disarmament, he says. The sharf will leave him in command to hold the men together on the trek back home. He says the rabble will get out of his tall-grass country quicker if we are under command. But if Gleaver wants to surrender to Texark, Sharf Bråm will let him pass.”

  “He knows we outnumber his men nearly four to one. What makes him think…”

  “He can stop us? Shall I ask?”

  “Ask him if two of his men are equal to seven of ours.”

  The sharf chuckled as soon as Nimmy translated, then shared a few private jokes with his interpreter. Hadala became angry.

  “What does he say? Stop having your own private conversation.”

  “He says seven-against-two would be fair, if you leave your wagons undefended. Your seven men with seven guns might chase his two men with two guns for several days, inconclusively, but you would lose the wagons. If we defend the wagons, we’ll just be pinned down and starved out. And if you don’t make up your minds soon, Texark will come out and get the wagons.”

  “Are those his words, or yours, Brother St. George? Be careful you don’t go too far.” After this admonition, Hadala began speaking slowly enough for Nimmy to translate simultaneously.

  “Look, we are as worried as you are that the wagons will be intercepted by the patrol as we try to take them in. So why don’t you help us? Your people have been well supplied with arms, and you don’t need my wagons. The occupied territory ahead is just a narrow strip along the western frontier of the Watchitah Nation. It’s hardly more than a double roadway. The outer road is patrolled by Texark troops; they look outward toward your country. The inner road is patrolled by the Valley Customs Service; they look inward at the Watchitah Nation, my people. I myself am on the Customs Service Board, for the Church. Their patrol will help us, once we’re past the Texark troopers and the patrol sees who I am. If you could just help us hold back the Texark riders until we get the wagons through, we’ll all cut and run afterward.”