Ship of Dolls

by Shirley Parenteau

  Her confidence faded as she neared the front gate. All her doubts about setting in sleeves and making buttonholes rushed back. If she made a mess of this, she would never live down the taunts she would hear from the others. And a poorly made dress could not go with Emily Grace to Japan.

  As she rested the box on the gatepost, Emily Grace said from inside it, “Mama!”

  “Oh,” Lexie whispered. “You want a new dress, don’t you?”

  She lifted the lid, and Emily Grace smiled up at her, the doll’s blue eyes looking interested and happy. Lexie could almost hear her saying that she knew she was going to love the new dress. She would love it even more than the fancy dress the ladies had made, because Lexie would put her heart into making it.

  “I can do it,” Lexie told the doll. “Mama said we can do almost anything if we want it enough. And I really want to make the dress.”

  Gently, she touched Emily Grace’s rosy cheek. She tried to picture the doll wearing the dress she would make. But the picture in her mind didn’t work. Instead of a pretty dress, she saw lopsided sleeves and a collar where the two sides didn’t match. Even if she could make a dress, what would she use for material?

  There was only one answer. She had to tell Grandma what had happened from the very beginning and somehow convince her to help. Worry pooled in her stomach, but she marched up the stairs and into the front hall.

  She found her grandma in the parlor, dusting furniture that already looked polished. Putting it off never made a bad thing better. “Grandma,” she began, bracing herself to get the worst over with as fast as possible, “I have to tell you something.”

  “Not now, Lexie.” Impatience crackled through Grandma’s voice. “The ladies in my reading circle will be here tonight. Hurry upstairs and change your dress. I want you to sweep the front stairs and the walk.”

  For a moment, Lexie felt she had been given a chance to escape, but she had already decided against postponing her confession. She tried again. “Grandma, something happened and —”

  “I said later!” Grandma tugged a chair away from the window and busily dusted the sill. “Why are you still standing there?”

  Grandma wouldn’t feel ready for the ladies until she had polished everything twice. This was not the time to upset her by admitting sneaking into Miss Tompkins’s room and taking the doll. I can make the dress by myself, Lexie decided. I know I can. Mama was right. I can do anything if I just try hard enough.

  She put the box with the doll on a hall stand, then hung her coat and scarf on a hook. Mama had given her the scarf before sending her to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. Lexie slid the soft pink wool through her fingers, thinking of girls she had seen wearing knit dresses. Maybe finding material for the doll’s dress wasn’t a problem after all.

  With a cautious glance into the parlor, she hurried to the sewing cabinet at one side of the kitchen for a pair of scissors. Grandma’s big treadle sewing machine hung inside the cabinet, turned wrong side up so the bottom made a flat table with a bowl of flowers on it. Lexie didn’t know how to use the machine. She wasn’t even sure how to turn it right side up and make it stay that way. But she was sure she could sew by hand.

  The kitchen smelled of Grandma’s spice cookies, tempting her. No. She needed to keep her mind on the doll dress.

  The scissors were in a small drawer at one side of the cabinet. Near them, she found pins and needles in a pincushion and a spool of white thread. Pins would keep the dress pieces from shifting while she was sewing. She shoved them into her pocket, then carried everything upstairs to her room.

  Her soft doll, Annie, leaned against the pillow on the bed. Lexie put Emily Grace beside her. “Emily Grace is visiting,” she told Annie. “Soon she will be sailing all the way to Japan.”

  After giving Emily Grace a gentle pat, she picked up the scarf. She held it against her cheek for a moment, remembering when Mama chose it for her. Perching on the side of the bed, she placed the soft wool over the doll. “Do you like the pink, Emily Grace? It matches your cheeks.”

  Lexie stretched the scarf on the bed and placed the doll with her feet over one end. Then she pulled the rest of the scarf over her to see how long it should be. Taking the scissors, she carefully cut off the extra length.

  “There, Emily Grace. Now you just need a hole for your head. I’ll sew up the sides and tie a ribbon around your middle. Look, Annie. Isn’t she going to be pretty?”

  A rattle against the window startled her into looking around. Was it hailing? No. Jack Harmon was in the cherry tree between their houses. That was his signal.

  As she walked to the window, she saw Jack make a face and throw another twig against the glass.

  She shoved the window open. “What?”

  “You got me laughed at. Why’d you do that?”

  For a moment, she couldn’t think what he was talking about, then remembered kissing his cheek. If that was his worst problem, he was lucky. She stuck out her tongue, closed the window, and went back to the dolls.

  He threw another twig, but she ignored him.

  When she folded the scarf in half, the cut end looked ragged. “I’ll sew a hem all the way around the bottom,” she assured Emily Grace. “First, we need a hole for your head.”

  When she cut into the scarf, the scissors caught in the knit. She pulled them loose and tried again. At last, the hole looked big enough. She held it up to check, stretching out the knit.

  The stitches began running from the cut part on, leaving empty trails like ladders down the scarf. Lexie grabbed the wool to stop the runs, but the loops kept unknitting, like a row of dominos that kept right on falling.

  When Grandma knit something, she complained of dropping stitches. With her heart sinking, Lexie realized this was what Grandma meant. Maybe she could weave the loops of yarn back through the ladders.

  Laughter from outside the window startled her. She looked up and saw Jack peering in. She jerked the scarf against her chest, trying to hide her mistake. “Go away!”

  “Lexie!” Grandma called from downstairs. “Don’t forget to sweep that walk!”

  Jack must have heard Grandma, too. He scrambled back along the branch.

  “Coming!” Lexie ran to the window and pulled the blind down in case Jack came back. She shoved the ruined scarf beneath the mattress, then quickly pulled off her school dress and hung it in her closet. She took a cotton dress from a peg, then paused to spread out the skirt. It was white with tiny blue blossoms all through it. “There’s enough cloth in this to make a dress for you, Emily Grace. Do you like the flowers?”

  Guilt nudged her, as if Jack had asked through the window if she should cut up the dress.

  He wasn’t there, but she answered anyway. “It’s mine. If I want to give it to Emily Grace, I can.”

  “Lexie!” Grandma called again.

  Lexie pulled on the cotton dress and ran down the stairs for the broom.

  Supper was over, the dishes washed and put away, and tea and cookies set out before she could return to Emily Grace. By then, Grandma’s friends were arriving at the door, some by motorcar and others on foot.

  Lexie sat on her bed with Emily Grace on her lap and Annie propped against the pillow. “Listen, do you hear that big motor? That’s Louise’s mama in their fancy Packard. I guess Mr. Ford’s cars aren’t good enough for her.”

  She felt a little guilty for saying something unpleasant, but she was only repeating what she had heard Grandma say to Grandpa when he admired the shiny black Packard.

  Emily Grace tilted backward. “Mama.”

  Lexie giggled. “That’s right. Her mama likes to control everybody; that’s what Grandma says. I suppose that’s why Louise is so bossy.”

  She looked closely at Emily Grace. The doll couldn’t say anything except “Mama,” but she said much more with her eyes. Lexie hugged her and placed her on the bed.

  “I hope you will like Japan. Miss Tompkins says that country is very different from ours. They sleep on mats on t
he floor and have paper screens for walls. I wonder how they keep secrets.”

  She shook her head, thinking she wouldn’t like that, even if she didn’t have secrets. “Today, we wrote poems called haiku,” she told the doll. “They have just seventeen syllables and are often about nature and seasons. I wrote one for you, Emily Grace. It goes like this.”

  She repeated carefully for the doll:

  “We feel cold inside.

  Our doll must go to Japan.

  New friends wait for her.”

  Gently, she touched Emily Grace’s cheek. “Miss Tompkins says a haiku should make you feel something. My haiku makes me sad.”

  She shook her head, pushing away the sadness. “Let’s get started on your new dress. First, we need to draw a pattern.”

  She slipped off the doll’s cape and turned her over to unsnap the tiny closures behind her neck. Gently, she pulled the blue satin dress down the doll’s body, easing her arms from the sleeves.

  “What a pretty pink petticoat the ladies made for you. The girls in Japan will like your beautiful clothes. And you’re going to have an extra dress!”

  She studied the snap closure. “I saw some of those in the sewing machine drawer. I’ll sew them in just like these.”

  She turned the satin dress inside out to see the seams. The ladies had used a sewing machine to make those tight stitches, but even if she figured out how to use Grandma’s, that big machine was noisy.

  Besides, people had used plain needles and thread to sew long before there were fancy machines. It would just take a bit longer.

  Humming a song she remembered Mama singing, Lexie shoved the braided rug to one side. Then she slipped off her flower-​sprigged cotton dress and spread the skirt on the wood floor. In her underwear, she placed Emily Grace on the fabric. She dipped her pen in her inkwell and with careful strokes, began to outline the doll on the cloth.

  The ladies’ laughter and talk came up the stairs to Lexie. Sometimes, Mrs. Wilkins’s voice rose above the others, crisp and sharp. Grandma’s voice sounded warmer. “I’m glad we don’t live with Mrs. Wilkins,” Lexie told Emily Grace and Annie while she cut two doll-​size pieces from the skirt of her cotton dress.

  Annie looked a little sad, lying halfway off the pillow. Lexie pulled her straight. “When I get done, Annie, I’ll make a new dress for you, too. Emily Grace needs hers first, to take to Japan.”

  She worked with the tip of her tongue between her teeth, sewing the side seams while the ladies’ voices rose and fell from downstairs. It took much longer than she’d expected, but at last the seams were done.

  When she held the dress up, it didn’t look exactly the way she had imagined it. Maybe it would look better when it was on Emily Grace.

  She placed the dress against the doll, but sucked in her breath. The carefully stitched seams were on the outside, where the flowers were prettiest. If she turned the material to put the seams inside, the dress would look faded. If she put it on the doll with the pretty side out, those rough seams would show.

  “I did it wrong!” Lexie flung the dress to the floor. Then she took a deep breath to catch hold of her temper. She’d seen both Grandma and Mama do that, and even Miss Tompkins. “I made a mistake,” she told the doll. “I’ll just pull out the stitches and start over.”

  It was a slow process. She hated having to do the same thing twice, but she forced herself to keep at it. Later, she heard the ladies saying good-​bye, then the sound of their cars starting up and driving away.

  Mrs. Wilkins’s Packard backfired like a firecracker going off. Then the big car roared into the night. Lexie yawned. She was tired, but the two sides of the dress were finished at last, with the seams where they belonged.

  Grandma spoke from the doorway, sounding shocked. “Child, what have you done to your dress?”

  Guilt churned through Lexie. “I gave it to Emily Grace. She needs a new dress.”

  “So you cut up one of your own?” Grandma’s mouth set in a tight line. Lexie thought she must have looked the same way herself after finding the seams on the wrong side. She hoped Grandma would catch hold of her temper, the way she had then.

  Grandma crossed the room and held up the doll dress. “This will never fit that doll.”

  Lexie’s breath came out in a rush. “It won’t?”

  “No, honey, it won’t.”

  Honey? Grandma only called her honey when she was pleased with her. That didn’t happen very often. It didn’t feel right now, not with her dress on the floor with two holes cut in the skirt.

  Grandma placed the dress on top of Emily Grace and pulled the sides down. “Do you see? The sides won’t meet, front and back. She’s not a flat paper doll. You should have used enough fabric to reach all the way around.”

  Tears crowded up inside Lexie. She thought of the work she had done, sewing the seams and then taking them out and sewing them again. She swallowed the tears and made her voice strong. “I’ll cut pieces to sew into each side. That will make it bigger.”

  In her mind, she saw the others in the class, especially Louise Wilkins, pointing to the extra pieces and snickering.

  Grandma tsked her tongue. “I think we can do better than that.” She looked at Lexie. “That is, if your teacher doesn’t mind my helping.”

  “Oh, no,” Lexie said quickly. “She won’t mind. She said I could ask you to help.” She thought fast, not understanding Grandma’s offer but needing to make sure of it. “I’d be so happy if you helped me. Mama doesn’t sew. So I don’t know how to do it right.”

  The last of Grandma’s doubts disappeared from her face. The set of her mouth said that with all Mama’s singing and sleeping late, it was little wonder she didn’t find time for sewing. Out loud, she said, “Well, it’s high time you learn. You should have asked me right away and not cut up your own good dress.”

  “I tried,” Lexie reminded her, “but you were busy.”

  “I was.” Grandma sat on the bed beside her. “And you didn’t feel you could wait. We’ll sort this out. But I hope the next time you win a special honor from school, I won’t have to hear the news from Eleanor Wilkins.”

  Lexie looked at the dress to keep her shock from her face. Honor? This wasn’t an honor. How could Grandma think so?

  Louise! Louise must have told her mother — complained, probably — that Lexie got special favors from the teacher. Now Grandma would have to hear the truth, and it would be even worse because she expected to hear something good.

  Lexie swallowed hard, searching for words that would ease the way to the truth. The truth would be even harder now. How would Grandma feel to hear that the honor was really a punishment?

  “So this is the doll that is going to Japan.” Grandma picked up Emily Grace and leaned her backward. The doll’s eyes closed. “Mama.”

  Grandma chuckled. “Fancy, isn’t she? I expect your Annie there is feeling left out.”

  “I told her I’d make her a dress, too.” That would mean cutting more holes in her own dress. And that first one hadn’t worked out at all.

  An idea rushed into her mind. “Annie’s smaller. Maybe this dress will fit her. And not be wasted.” She looked hopefully at Grandma.

  “Why don’t we begin fresh?” Grandma patted Lexie’s shoulder. “I have some yellow sprigged chintz set aside for kitchen curtains. I believe there’s enough there to make dresses for two dolls.”

  Lexie hardly dared trust the happiness that welled up through her. “They’ll be like sisters in the same dress, one here and one in Japan.”

  Grandma smiled and placed Emily Grace in Lexie’s lap. “You must have done special work to earn the honor of dressing the doll.” She sat on the bed beside Lexie. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”

  The truth was about to ruin everything. Lexie wanted to run out of the house and keep running.

  Grandma waited for an answer.

  Carefully, Lexie said, “Miss Tompkins asked me to make a dress for Emily Grace.”

 
“I understand that,” Grandma said. “I’m interested in hearing why you were chosen for the honor.”

  There was that word again. Honor. Lexie’s face got hot. What she had done felt even worse. Was there any way to tell Grandma about sneaking into the teacher’s room that wouldn’t make her mad?

  “I could not believe the nerve of Eleanor Wilkins,” Grandma went on. “She actually said her daughter must have misunderstood. It was not logical, she said — logical, mind you — that you should receive an honor before Louise!”

  Lexie looked at the pride shining in Grandma’s face. Her heart seemed to shrink inside her. Shrink and turn black. How could she possibly tell Grandma what had happened?

  “Was it about Japan?” Grandma asked. “I suppose you are studying that country.”

  “Yes,” Lexie said slowly. “Yes, we’re learning all about Japan.”

  Grandma waited to hear more. Lexie looked at Emily Grace. The doll’s friendly painted smile seemed to tell her to start with something Grandma would like to hear. The poem! Feeling grateful to Emily Grace, she said, “Today we learned how to write Japanese poems.”

  “That’s nice.” Grandma sounded more puzzled than pleased. “I expected to hear you made a report on the country. But poetry can be . . . interesting.”

  Lexie didn’t think Grandma was much interested in poetry. She would rather keep busy in the kitchen than read, but she did have the book group that had met tonight. Maybe this would be something new to the ladies, something they would consider for next time.

  “You could tell your book ladies about Japanese poems,” she said, hoping for a way to avoid the trouble she felt coming. “They’re called haiku. The poems.”

  “Hai-​ku? I don’t believe I’ve heard the word before.” Grandma pursed her lips, then seemed to gather a smile. “You wrote the best one? That’s quite an honor.”

  That word again. Lexie felt as if good and bad thoughts were pulling her in two directions. But she had written the haiku the teacher liked best. So it wasn’t a lie to let Grandma be happy about that. “I wrote how I felt about Emily Grace.”