Watching Ember

by J B Reding

  “Thanks for convincing him to let me stay.” I say, looking at anything but him. “You gonna crash here on the couch?”

  “Yeah, I’ll stay for a while to make sure things are okay. I have some guys coming by tomorrow to install some cameras that will feed back to Maddox and I.”

  I look at him then, in astonishment “That’s ridiculous. I have a security system; I don’t need cameras too. I’m only going to be here for another week. There's no point.”

  “I don’t care. It’s happening.” He states, leaving no room for argument.

  I roll my eyes at his ridiculousness. “Whatever. Goodnight.”

  He grunts and walks over to set the alarm. I leave him to his own devices and go back to my room. I leave my door cracked and turn off my light before climbing into bed. I don’t get the chance to ruminate about the night nor the past because as soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm out.

  3. Nightmares

  “Such a pretty little girl.” His sweaty hand strokes down my cheek before he slams the closet door, drowning me in darkness. The click of the lock engaging rings through my ears for what seems like forever…

  I jolt awake with a gasp. My arms feel heavy as my heart beats rapidly in my ears.

  I take a few calming breaths, reminding myself that it was just a dream. That he can’t hurt me anymore.

  I reach over and flip my lamp on, grabbing for my phone to check the time.

  Three in the morning.

  Or what Nixon and I call the Devil’s Hour.

  How appropriate.

  I roll off my bed and head to the kitchen for some water. I don’t see Nixon anywhere. Which means he left, since the bathroom was empty when I walked by. The alarm is set to ‘stay’, confirming my belief that he has the program on his phone. I wouldn’t be surprised if he and dad both do and have set the alarm all the way from Atlanta.

  Technology, man.

  I drink a glass of water before heading to bathroom to take a steaming shower. I throw my hair into a messy bun, strip down and step into the scorching water.

  This has become somewhat of a routine when I wake up from a nightmare. They’ve become more frequent in the past few weeks. Ever since I’ve been getting that weird feeling. At least last night shows I wasn’t going crazy.

  I step out of the shower when I feel the effects of the nightmare wash away. I wrap a towel around my body and snatch my clothes up before opening the door and proceeding to almost slam into a figure.

  “Nixon.” I gasp, gazing up at him. “I thought you left?”

  “What are you doing up?” He asks, his walls firmly in place, but I can still see his concern through the cracks.

  “I had a nightmare.” I murmur, hugging my clothes tighter to me, fully aware that I’m standing here in nothing but a towel.

  “I thought we got rid of those.” He questions. I used to sneak into his room at night after having a nightmare. I started the tradition when he moved in after his father died. My dad didn’t see the point in him living in that big house by himself. Especially when Nixon's dad had just died. I believe he still has the house but that's beside the point. Despite avoiding me all day, at night Nixon let his guard down just a little. One night, when he found me crying in the kitchen after a nightmare, he told me to come up to his room until I felt safe enough to go back to sleep. And that was how a tradition was born.

  Even if Nixon wasn’t home, I would curl up in his bed and fall asleep, but I always woke up in my own bed.

  Around senior year of high school, I stopped even though I still had nightmares. They were less frequent, but there nonetheless, so I found a new way to deal with them. When Nixon asked, I told him they'd stopped. Which for the most part was true. Only when I was stressed did they make an appearance.

  But I couldn’t keep sleeping in his bed and get over my feelings at the same time. The whole reason I wanted to go so far for college was so I could move on. I’ve now accepted my feeling towards him as a part of me. They will never diminish, so I’ve learned to live with them.

  Not sure how well that's gonna go now that he's back in my life. But we shall see.

  “Guess they were triggered.” I finally answer him with a shrug.

  He nods, tightly, but he won’t look at me.

  “Is something wrong?” I question, slightly afraid that he came back to deliver more bad news.

  ~***~

  Is something wrong?

  Fuck, everything is wrong.

  For instance, the fact that I can’t reach out and touch her whenever I want.

  Or maybe the fact that I can’t slam my mouth against hers and finally taste her the way I’ve always wanted to.

  Not to mention how she's currently standing in front of me dripping wet in nothing but a towel, eliciting images of what I could do to her.

  But mostly, the fact that I can’t make her mine.

  Completely.

  Utterly.

  Mine.

  Fuck, I can’t think like this right now.

  My control is bound to slip and its already hanging on by a thread.

  Her dad never once told me to stay away. There was never any warning me off his daughter. But I knew that he wanted her to finish college, and I didn’t want to hold her back from her dreams.

  Then there's all the things I’ve been keeping from her. She would hate me if she knew how many secrets I had. Secrets that affect her. But it’s not the right time to disclose those.

  “Yeah, everything is fine.” I finally respond.

  “Alright…” She squints her eyes in suspicion. “I’m gonna read a little and then try to go back to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” She stares me down one last time before slipping past me and into her room.

  I scrub my hands against my face with a groan. Ember has the unique ability to drive me insane in more than one way. I feel like a schoolboy with a crush when, in reality, I just got back from beating someone bloody. My guys found a lead, but it ended up being a dead end. We’ll have to stay diligent for the next week to make sure Ember stays safe. Hopefully, we can get out of here without incident. They shouldn’t try anything else so soon, but whoever it is, is getting desperate. Which makes them dangerous.

  I walk into the living room and flop down on to the couch. Pulling out my phone, I check in with Maddox to see if he’s found anything else. He’s a genius when it comes to computers. Hacking into all kinds of shit to get us information we need. Even manipulating things we don’t want to be public knowledge.

  Maddox: Everything is good.

  Me: Is the camera install set up for tomorrow?

  Maddox: Yes. They’ll be by while the girls are in class.

  Me: Good.

  Maddox: Are we going to talk about it?

  Me: Nope.

  Maddox is one of the few people who can get away with questioning me. With him, I don’t have to worry about respect. He knows better to do it in front of others. Anton, too. However, he tries every now and again just to push my buttons.

  Even before I was Boss, everyone was too afraid to challenge me. It worked in my favor and made the transition for taking over for Ember’s dad, Charles, go smoothly. Which was a shock in and of itself since it was almost unheard of for a twenty-five-year-old to become head of a family. We expected more backlash from the older generations. However, they had no qualms as I’ve been building up my reputation since I was sixteen. Carrying out hits and torturing men twice my size will do that. People always underestimated me, but they learned quick. I’m now one of the most feared men on the east coast.

  Not that Ember was aware of any of this. If anyone so much as breathed a word about it to her, they were shot. Whether or not it was a fatal shot depended on the severity of what they revealed.

  Even so, Ember was never afraid of me. She never felt the dangerous vibe I emitted that made others cower. Probably because when it comes to her, I turn into a pussy. Something that’s bound to get one of us hurt. That's why when we get home, extra
precautions will be taken. I struggle to hide my feelings for Ember from the outside world, and while she may be clueless, my enemies can smell weakness. They won’t be afraid to use her to exploit that weakness, either.

  Eventually, I will have to disclose everything to her. Hopefully, she will be able to look past the bad and forgive me for the secrets I’ve kept, but right now her safety is what’s most crucial. Even if it means I must sacrifice our own happiness.

  At least for now.

  4. The Key

  The smell of bacon and coffee pulls me from sleep. Throwing off the covers, I slip into some pants and make my way out to the kitchen. Liz stands by the stove pulling pieces of bacon out of the pan and placing them onto a plate with one hand, sipping a cup of coffee with the other.

  I yawn, “What time is it?”

  “Almost nine.” She answers, turning the stove off then facing me, one arm under her breast the other holding her coffee to her lips. She looks like the quintessential mother. I hold back my laugh, she wouldn’t appreciate the comparison.

  “Where’s Nixon?” I ask, grabbing a mug out of the cabinet and filling it with coffee.

  “He said he had to run across the hall. Want to explain that to me?” She asks, raising her brow, adding to the mom vibe she's got going.

  “What? Nixon didn’t tell you?” I ask while trying to steal a piece of bacon. I flinch when she slaps my hand. “You really are acting like my mom right now.”

  “I am a concerned best friend and I have every right to be.” She narrows her eyes at me, filling two plates with eggs, bacon and cheese grits. We may be out of the south but that doesn’t mean we have to eat like it.

  I smile and walk over to the table, taking a seat in my usual spot. “Okay, okay.”

  “So, tell me everything.” She demands, placing a plate in front of me and sitting down with her own.

  “Well, I already told you about the guy attacking me-”

  She cuts me off, waving her hand. “Yes, yes. I meant about Nixon, you dumbass. I know you can handle yourself. But Nixon is my worry.”

  “Yeah… I don’t know. He shows up here acting like the past six years he’s ignored me hasn’t happened. I almost thought he changed. But I guess he was just… being nice in case I freaked out? Like I said, I don’t know. It was weird. It's like as soon as we got back here, and he saw that I was genuinely fine, his walls went back up. And I am fine, honestly. I’m not thinking about it. I’m just focusing on finals and then getting home. Speaking of, you still want to come home with me for the summer? Dad said it was cool. It means we’ll miss the graduation ceremony. I don’t mind, but I thought I’d ask.”

  “Yeah, it’s cool. You know I don’t care about that stuff. But back to Nixon. How long has he been here and where is he staying? Why is he here? Is he alone? Give me more.” She pushes. I should have known she wouldn’t have been happy with what I gave her. So, I fill her in on everything I know.

  “There’s one more thing…” I hesitate. I’m not sure how Liz will take this. When it comes to Maddox, she’s unpredictable.

  “Just tell me.” She rolls her eyes.

  “Maddox is here…” I admit gingerly.

  “That’s cool. Did he come with Nixon?” She says, acting all nonchalant but I know internally she's probably cussing up a storm. I’ve never been able to figure out their relationship. Most of the time I think she hates him, but there’s more to it than that. At least there must be with the intensity of her hatred. After all, there’s a thin line between love and hate.

  “Yeah, you know how they are, attached at the hip. I’m surprised Anton didn’t come too.”

  “True. Have you seen him yet?” She asks, referring to Maddox, her face void of all emotion.

  “No… are you gonna be okay staying in a house with him?”

  “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Again with the fake indifference.

  “I don’t know. It’s just you would have to see him every day.”

  “Ember, it’s fine. I promise. It’s a big house.” She smiles, but I’m still not convinced.

  “Alright, if you say so. But you know I’m here if you ever wanna finally tell me what’s up with you two.”

  “I know, Ember.” She gives me another small smile before standing up and taking our dirty dishes to the sink.

  The door suddenly opens and Nixon walks in, followed by Maddox.

  “Ever heard of knocking?” I ask, getting up and walking over to them. I smile at Maddox and he gives me his version of a smile, a twitch of his lips. I throw my arms around his middle and give him a hug. My hands don’t even touch, he’s that huge. And it’s not fat.

  Where Nixon’s body is strong, agile and chiseled. Maddox’s body is more packed with muscle, not quite bulky but definitely intimidating. Especially when you add the extra two inches compared to Nixon’s six-four frame. He’s the biggest out of the bunch and the most tattooed. Both arms are covered and continue up his neck. From the one glimpse I got of him shirtless, it seems his back and chest are just as tattooed. My favorite is his neck tattoo that’s of gray smoke flowing up the side of his head, which he keeps buzzed on the side but a tad bit longer on top. Almost, but not quite, a crew cut. And don’t even get me started on that magnificent beard. You wouldn’t think a guy like Maddox would care about upkeep, but I swear, he takes damn well good care of it. It’s not too long, but not too short. It’s the perfect beard size and nicely trimmed too. If he didn’t work for my dad, he could have passed for a Navy Seal.

  I can honestly say that I get the attraction Liz tries to hide towards him.

  “How have you been?” I ask, stepping back and looking up at him.

  He grunts, never really one for words. I think it just adds to his badassery.

  Liz grumbles something as she walks past us carrying another cup of coffee into her room.

  “You know, one day I will find out what happened between y'all.” I say to Maddox, poking him in the stomach.

  He grunts again and walks over to the coffeepot, opening a few cabinets before finding a cup.

  “I’ll be coming to your finals with you.” Nixon informs me, closing and locking the door behind him. He walks closer to me, crossing his arms and spreading his legs in what I’m sure is supposed to be an intimidating pose. But it does nothing to me. Well, except make me stare at his bulging biceps that are on display.

  I shake my head to clear it. “Um, yeah. That’s not gonna work. The school is pretty strict when it comes to exams. But you can stand outside in the hallway. There's only one exit in every room. That should be enough, right?” Lord knows I can’t take a test with Nixon hovering.

  “With the shooting off campus they should allow you to have extra security.”

  “But you don’t look like security. You look like a criminal.” I smile reassuringly. “It’ll be okay. Be glad I’m not throwing a fit to begin with.”

  “Fine, but I’m casing the room before you go in.” He stares me down, daring me to object. I don’t. I know he needs this. “Did Liz make food?”

  “Yeah, go eat. I’ll be ready in a few.”

  He nods, and we go our separate ways.

  ~***~

  I guess I should be glad that my first exam is my easiest and required little to no studying. The week, thankfully, goes by without incident. I only have four exams with a break on Wednesday and by time Friday’s exam rolls around I think we’re all ready to get back to Atlanta. Well, except for Liz.

  I walk to my last exam with Nixon next to me. “Last one.” I smile reassuringly, patting his arm as I pass him and enter the class room.

  Each day we’re here, I can feel him becoming more and more tense. He’s constantly on his phone, answering texts and taking phone calls. I never knew he did so much for my dad.

  I’m just flipping my test closed when Nixon barges in, scaring the shit out of everyone in the room, me included. He strides over to the teacher and starts whispering urgently. I rush down the aisle and
hurry to the front to hand in my test. The teacher barely has a hold of it before Nixon is dragging me out of the room.

  “What’s going on?” I ask as he pulls me towards his truck, practically throwing me into the seat and buckling my seat belt for me before slamming the door shut. I stare out the windshield a little stunned and, I’ll admit, kinda turned on. I look over at Nixon and watch as he backs out of the parking space faster than he probably should and speeds out of the parking lot. “Uh, Nixon…?”

  “Someone broke into your apartment while Liz and Maddox were arguing down at the SUV.” He finally answers as we head back to said apartment. “They were loading up it up and left the front door unlocked. Looks like someone waltzed right on in. But…” He hesitates.

  “What?”

  “They tore the living room apart, but nothing was stolen. We assume they heard Maddox and Liz coming back and took off. It was a ballsey thing to do with Maddox right downstairs, which just proves that whoever it is, they’re getting desperate.”

  “Did the cameras get anything?” I ask, hoping we finally caught a break.

  “No, they’d been disconnected, which they weren’t when we left this morning. Meaning it was planned, and Maddox and Liz just made things easier on them. It also means they’ve been watching us. However, I’m just glad we can go home where we have more resources at our disposal.”

  “But what would I have that they’d want?” It just doesn’t make sense.

  “No idea, but we hope to find out before they get it, whatever it is.” I can tell he’s holding back on the information, but I’m not going to push him right now. I trust him to tell me if, or when, shit hits the fan.

  “Okay, well, I’m mostly packed. I just need to grab a few small things and I’ll be ready to go.” Mainly the things that aren’t replaceable. Like pictures of my mother and the teddy bear Nixon’s dad, Marcus, gave me for my sixteenth birthday, two days before he died. It has a little red heart-shaped patch where his heart would be. When he gave it to me, he said, “Keep this with you, no matter where you go. It will always protect you and offer the guidance you need. You just have to look inside.” So, I’ve kept it with me ever since. I’ve never told anyone about it. He’d given it to me in his office and told me to put it in my bag before leaving. He made it seem like it was our secret. A secret I’ve kept for the past six years.