by Greg Ripley
“There we go with the microcosm and macrocosm again,” Rohini said. “Maybe that’s part of the idea of alignment the Guanzi was talking about. Maybe when the central channel of our field aligns with a larger one we can somehow level up to the next field? It’s a bit mind-boggling. It’s kind of making my head spin a little actually; I think I’ll call it a night.”
* * *
The next day they met with the Guanzi in her chamber, where they sat sipping tea which Jingyi had graciously brought them again.
“Does anyone have any questions before we begin?” the Guanzi asked.
“We were wondering last night about the shape of the human energy field,” Guangming began. “Isn’t it spherical, and if so shouldn’t we visualize the energy flowing more three dimensionally, instead of just in a circle?”
“Yes, it would be fair to say that is true, and one could certainly practice that way. We start with the Du and Ren, the energy channels on the front and back of the body because they form the major energy reservoir in the body, they in turn fill the rest of the body with energy. We want to make sure the body is replete with energy as a foundation. Once we have built the foundation by aligning the body, the breath, and the mind, and learn to dwell in stillness, the next stage of transformation can occur.
“When we begin the process of heating the cauldron, the steam we create rises up the central channel to the middle dantian, the Crimson Palace. This is the stage of refining jing into qi. Just as you felt a stirring in your lower dantian yesterday, today you may feel a stirring rising farther up your body. Today you will be meditating in the Middle Guanyin Grotto. This chamber is smaller than the lower grotto, so I will not be sitting with you, the three of you will fill the chamber.
“What I want you to focus on today is the sprouting that we mentioned from the inscription on the Jade Scepter. If you recall we spoke of the qi expanding, then descending, becoming stable and solid. Then it is said to sprout and grow. This is the stage we are focused on. I don’t want you to try to force this process, but simply allow it to happen. After you begin to feel a stirring in the lower dantian, you should feel it begin to rise toward the middle dantian. It is possible you may feel uncomfortable during this process. You may feel nauseous or feel as though you have a knot in your stomach. If this happens simply place one hand on the area, keeping the other hand on the lower dantian, and allow the energy to find its way. Between your heritage of the bloodline and the meditation chamber itself, you should have no problems. We can discuss your experiences afterwards. If you have no further questions, Jingyi will take you now.”
They followed Jingyi, taking the same route as the previous day, passing through the Lower Guanyin Grotto, where another flight of steps took them up to the middle grotto, which the Guanzi had referred to as the Crimson Palace. Rohini could see why. The walls of the middle grotto were the color of blood. She might have thought it was paint had it not been for the slight variations in the streaks of color where it was clear the minerals had precipitated down the walls. There were stalagmites and stalactites here as well, indicating the naturally occurring character of the chamber.
There were smooth areas similar to the lower grotto where it was clear others had sat before. The three took their places, crossing their legs on the rock seats. The Guanzi had been right, there was little space left after they sat, although the chamber didn’t feel cramped. As she began to relax and follow her breath, Rohini felt a sense of spaciousness in the chamber, as though it were quite large, instead of being barely big enough to hold Rohini and her companions.
They began their meditation. Rohini focused on breathing deeply and smoothly into her lower dantian, and removing any extra tension from her body. As her breathing became more relaxed and smooth, it eventually became very fine. She turned her attention to the celestial circulation, allowing the energy to flow up her back on the inhalation and fall down the front of her body on the exhalation, passing by the lower dantian and energizing it with each pass. When she was ready, she turned her focus to her lower dantian and felt a stirring. She kept one hand on her lower dantian and placed the other above the navel, where she felt the stirring. After some time the stirring seemed to calm itself. But then she noticed it again. It had risen higher, closer to her solar plexus. It felt slightly uncomfortable at first, almost like heartburn or nausea as the Guanzi had mentioned. She placed her hand on the area and within a short time the sensation dissipated.
Soon after, a sensation began to arise again, higher still, in the area the Guanzi had described as the middle dantian, between her breasts. If the previous sensation had been akin to nausea, this was more like a panic attack. She began to feel like her heart was going to beat out of her chest, yet at the same time there was a stifling sensation like she couldn’t breathe, but she realized she could; it was more of a mental or emotional sensation than a physical one. It was then that she realized what the sensation felt like, it was grief. Deep, heart-wrenching, grief. The pressure began to build and build until she felt like she would implode. Then she remembered the Guanzi’s instruction again, and moved her hand up to her heart. Instead of dissipating, the pressure continued to build until she almost felt like crying out, then suddenly in a rush, she felt as though her heart exploded out of her chest. Where moments before she had felt an intense knot of pressure, she now felt as though her chest was empty and open; hollow like the crimson cave they sat in. A flood of tears began to pour down her cheeks as she sat silently crying, yet they were tears of joy. She felt a great sense of relief and a lightness of spirit she had never known before.
After an unknown period of time, Rohini opened her eyes as she sensed a brighter light in the cavern. Jingyi had returned to escort them back to their chambers. As she looked at her companions she saw her own experience reflected in their tear-streaked faces.
46
They didn’t discuss their experiences of the Middle Guanyin Grotto that night. Rohini and her friends each seemed to be processing what had occurred, and the emotions which had been released. For Rohini, the experience had brought with it the recognition of a lot of unexpressed grief which she had unknowingly been holding on to for the last several years, ever since her mother had died, while Rohini was away at school, her freshman year of college.
She remembered it like it was yesterday. She had been sitting in her Psychology 101 class in a large lecture hall when she had felt her phone vibrate. She checked the display out of habit and saw that it was her dad’s cell. She figured he’d leave a message, and he had. But he’d also immediately left a text, “Please call ASAP.” Something was definitely up. She gathered her things and headed for the exit, whispering apologies as she made her way past the knees and backpacks of her classmates. Once out in the hallway, she had called her father and gotten the dreadful news.
Her mother had died suddenly. They weren’t sure if it was a stroke or a heart attack. Not that it mattered. All she knew was that her mother was gone. She’d gone home immediately and packed a quick bag. Her father had already bought a plane ticket for her, which was waiting at the airport. She took the quick flight back to New York that night, arriving at LaGuardia ninety minutes later.
Her father picked her up at the curb. She’d just brought a carry-on, so she hadn’t needed to wait for her bags. When he pulled up, he threw the car in park and jumped out, coming around to the passenger side and embracing her. The tears had flowed freely as they stood there, a pocket of shared grief amidst a flurry of activity as others came and went, each wrapped up in their own lives, oblivious to their pain.
They hadn’t said much on the ride into the city. What was there to say? Her mother was gone. She may as well have been abducted by aliens, Rohini had thought. She was snatched from us so suddenly. Lying in her bed in the Abode of the Guanzi that night, the irony hadn’t been lost on her. Rohini couldn’t help smiling through her tears. In hindsight, she realized she hadn’t cried about it sin
ce that day at the airport.
The next few days had been a blur. She’d helped her dad arrange the funeral and helped her aunt Priya make food for the wake. People had brought food as well, but they had felt the need to be good hosts. It had been a welcome distraction at the time, a way to avoid thinking about the reality of the situation. Yet cooking in her family’s kitchen with her aunt hadn’t been the best way to avoid it. There were many moments that reminded her of all the time she’d spent cooking with her mother in that very kitchen.
The next day after breakfast, the three followed Jingyi once more to the Guanzi’s chambers. After their tea was served, they began the day’s teaching. “I can see you all have experienced the Crimson Palace. When we begin to purify our energy and purify the heart, many old memories and unprocessed emotions will reveal themselves to us. For some, there is simply an energetic release, for others, we may be confronted by our own demons. These may take the form of regrets from our past or suppressed memories of traumatic events. As painful as it can be, it is a crucial step in the process of self-cultivation. I can see you all understand,” she said looking at each of them in turn, her deep compassion evident in her expression.
Rohini looked from the Guanzi to the faces of her companions. They each exchanged a knowing glance. Perhaps one day they would be ready to talk about their experiences.
“Today we will be going to the Upper Guanyin Grotto, also known as the Jade Palace. This chamber corresponds to the upper dantian in the human body. It is often called the Third Eye and is thought of as the seat of wisdom, as well as where the spirit is refined leading eventually to a return to the Dao. This process first leads to the formation of the Pure Yang Spirit and the ability of the awareness to leave the body, and eventually I believe to the ability to travel as the Elders do. Since I myself haven’t been able to accomplish this last part yet,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. “I don’t necessarily expect any of you to master this in such a short time. This is simply to help you awaken this process in your body and energy field.
“It would seem the Elders do not expect you to be able to travel yourselves when they return, which must mean they have the ability to take you with them. I wonder about this ability, especially as I wasn’t able to follow them before. Perhaps being in bodily contact with them is the key. Alas, I fear I will have to proceed from my own accomplishment,” she said, chuckling. “The Upper Grotto is even smaller than the Crimson Palace; only one person at a time will practice there. That is how we will proceed today. Each of you will spend a period of time in the chamber and when you have each finished we will meet again.
“The process you follow today will be similar to the last two. You will begin with the celestial circulation, energizing the lower dantian first. Then when you feel the stirring in the abdomen you will allow the energy to rise to the middle dantian in the chest. Eventually you will feel the energy continue to rise further. Follow the technique I told you about yesterday; placing a hand on the area to assist the energy in moving higher. Eventually, if you succeed in moving your awareness to the upper dantian and are able to hold your awareness there, you may feel a sense of spaciousness arise. You may lose awareness of yourself as an embodied being, falling into a state of oblivion. Alternatively, you may find yourself leaving your body behind, roaming freely around the earth. If this is the case remember the warnings of He Xiangu and do not wander too far. You will have many opportunities to explore this world and the realms beyond in the future. For now, just stay close.
“I am sure Guangming knows this story, but I’m guessing that you two have not heard it before,” the Guanzi said, turning towards Rohini and Jane. “Like He Xiangu, Li Tieguai was another of the Eight Immortals. He is associated with healing as he carries a drinking gourd full of medicine, but it is also said that he descends to earth to fight for the oppressed and the needy. He is said to appear in the form of an old beggar who walks with the aid of an iron crutch, which is the meaning of his name—Tieguai means iron crutch.
“Li was originally known as Li Yuan and was considered quite handsome, before becoming an Immortal. One day he was traveling outside his body in meditation and intended to travel to heaven to meet with the Immortals. He told his apprentice, Li Qing to guard over his body for seven days and that if he had not returned in that time, that he should dispose of his body, as he would have ascended to heaven.
“Five days had passed when the apprentice received word that his mother was on her deathbed and wanted to see her only son, before she died. Li Qing was beside himself, not knowing what to do. He wanted to fulfill his mother’s wishes, but he was afraid to leave his master’s body unattended. He waited one more day, figuring that if his master didn’t return on the sixth day, he wouldn’t return at all. On the sixth day the apprentice cremated his master’s body and hurried home to see his dying mother.
“Later that day the master Li Yuan returned from his spirit travel. His spirit searched for his body, but could find no sign of it, other than an urn full of ashes the apprentice had left in the master’s meditation hut. Searching nearby, all the master’s spirit could find was an old crippled beggar with an iron crutch, who was slowly dying of starvation. Li’s spirit lingered nearby and as soon as the beggar died, Li’s spirit entered his body. He was thereafter known as Iron Crutch Li. So, I suppose the moral of the story is that if you roam too far, we’ll use your body for kindling!” the Guanzi said, laughing.
“But, in all seriousness,” she said. “Please try not to wander far. From my own experience I can say that it is harder to return to your body the longer you are away. It takes a great deal of practice and requires gradually lengthening your journeys. As you will have to go to the chamber one at a time, Rohini you will be first. Take this,” she said, handing Rohini the Jade Scepter. “Hold it in your hand during your meditation and try to sense its energy. Jingyi will escort you to the Jade Palace.”
47
Rohini followed Jingyi. The first day hadn’t been particularly troubling. It had actually been quite exciting. But after yesterday’s experience in the Middle Grotto, she was feeling a bit more trepidation. The previous day had been quite intense and emotional. She hoped today would be gentler. She had thought people trying to kidnap her and blow her up were intense, but compared to her experience in the Crimson Palace, those events felt like something she’d seen in a movie. There had been so much water under the bridge in such a short period of time that those events were beginning to feel like distant memories.
Jingyi led her once more through the Lower Grotto, up the stairs to the Middle Grotto where they again passed through and out the other side. The passage to the Upper Grotto, the Jade Palace, was similar to the lower passages which connected the other grottos with the exception that the passage was much narrower, and the stairs much steeper. Jingyi left her at the Middle Grotto, handing her a candle.
She took the candle and ventured on ahead. As she entered the chamber she could understand why Jingyi had stopped when she had. The stairway led right into the small chamber, which consisted of a low shelf of rock to sit on like the lower chambers, but little other room. The walls of the chamber contrasted with the Crimson Palace. Instead of the streaked red walls which almost appeared to be covered in the blood of the earth itself, this chamber was streaked in shades of green and white. The mineral formations in the chamber—the stalagmites and stalactites—were all connected, forming small jade columns. She set the candle down on a small flat spot in front of her which showed traces of wax from meditators who had entered the chamber before her, and settled in. She set the Jade Scepter across her lap, holding the jade knob in her hand.
She began as she had the previous days, relaxing her body and mind, before beginning the celestial circulation exercise. She followed her energy around her body, up the back and down the front of her body. It felt different somehow today. She wasn’t sure how at first, until she realized that the qi flow felt like i
t was just rotating around a sphere or an egg. If she thought about it, she could feel her body, yet if she let her mind just dwell, her sense of her body in space became fuzzy.
Letting her awareness rest on the sensation, she began to feel as though she were a sphere of energy. She began to feel the telltale stirring in her lower abdomen, or what she would have thought of as her lower abdomen, now it was just somewhere in the lower half of the sphere of energy she perceived herself as. The energy began to rise, first to her solar plexus, then to her heart.
She felt a brief moment of panic, afraid of experiencing the same overwhelming emotions of the previous day’s meditation, and for a moment it felt as though the experience would repeat itself. Then, just as suddenly the feeling subsided and she realized the energetic stirring had passed the heart and was moving closer to her throat. She moved a hand up to the area to help it along. How strange, I still have hands, but I don’t feel like I have a body.
After some time, she felt a pressure begin to build. This time it was at the base of her throat. She felt like she was gagging on something. It was almost as though her throat was in danger of closing, like she was having an anaphylactic reaction, yet her airway remained open. She realized it was more of an energetic or emotional sensation than a physical one, as with her experience the previous day. At first, she thought it was just the fear of gagging or not being able to breathe, but soon the sensation grew. She continued to breathe and allowed her energy to continue circulating, but the sensation grew.
