by Greg Ripley
It was fear; fear of conflict, fear of speaking her mind, fear of hurting others. She had always kept to herself emotionally, usually choosing to think things through herself rather than talk things out with other people. She had always chalked it up to being introverted, but now she realized she had been hiding, afraid to expose herself. She also realized this too was connected to her mother’s death.
She began to remember what she’d been like when she was younger, when her mother was still alive, and realized this habit of emotional isolation had only been a tendency before her death, but had become a habit and a coping mechanism since. As these threads of her psyche continued to unravel, she had other insights into her personality, as well as a new level of understanding about many of her relationships with others.
She realized the sense of closeness she had felt with Jane, whom she had begun to think of as the older sister she had never had, was deeper than that. Being honest with herself, she had almost come to rely on her like a mother. She trusted Jane to protect her. As she began to focus her thoughts on Jane a sense of relief and safety flooded through her and then something unexpected happened.
It was like she had suddenly noticed something that was always right in front of her. She slipped into a dreamlike vision. She saw herself in a hallway which she knew represented her mind. It felt familiar, like she had walked down this hallway many times but there was a door there which she’d never noticed before. I wonder what’s behind that door. Then a new sensation began.
It was a deep dread. The realization made her senses come alive as a shudder passed through her, every nerve ending tingling. She felt like a child afraid to leave her bed for fear that the monster lurking underneath would reach out and grab her ankle as soon as her foot touched the floor. The more she thought about the door, the more her terror grew. But she had to know. What is behind that door? In her mind she reached for the door, grasping the knob. The sensation grew in intensity until she felt as though she was screaming silently inside, or had she actually screamed? She couldn’t be sure. As soon as she opened the door, the sensation began to pass.
The room was dark. She didn’t recognize it at first, but she knew she’d seen it before. Then it all came flooding back. It was one of the blank pages in her mind. One of the nights she’d lost. But now she remembered. She remembered it all.
She’d been at a party. She’d gotten drunk. Then the memories she’d lost, the parts she’d hidden away—even from herself—returned. She had gone to a bedroom and passed out. At some point she had stirred, and realized she wasn’t alone. Someone was pulling her clothes off. She had struggled to regain consciousness, but kept slipping in and out. She tried to move, tried to stop him but she could hardly move. She’d tried to say something, tried to scream, but the most she could muster was a mumble. He’d gotten her naked and his hands had been all over her. A feeling of revulsion swept over her as she felt the sensations all over again. Then the room suddenly flooded with light as the door burst open, a figure silhouetted in the open doorway. She couldn’t see the figure’s features clearly, but she realized she knew who it was. It was Jane.
“Get away from her now!” she heard Jane say.
“Get the fuck out of here, this is none of your business,” he’d snarled.
Jane immediately walked over and decked him. He got back up on wobbly legs and tried to grab Jane. They grappled, crashing into a dresser and then the wall, before Jane was able to land a quick kick to the crotch, doubling him over. Jane took advantage of the opening that left her and grabbed him around the head with both hands in a clinch, bringing his head down as she drove a knee into his face. That finished it. He fell to the floor and didn’t move again, at least not while they were there. Rohini could remember the aftermath clearly now. She had continued to drift in and out of consciousness, but Jane had somehow gotten her dressed and gotten her home. The next morning she’d woken up none the wiser.
Jane had said she’d been guarding her, but she’d had no idea. The morning after had been the day that Rohini had realized she had to stop her self-destructive behavior. Although she couldn’t remember what had happened, it had still impacted her. It was Jane that was there for me, years before I even knew she existed.
Eventually these new memories and insights passed. There were tears on her cheeks, but her mouth had formed a beatific smile. She felt light and free. Free of the doubt; free of the unknown possibilities that had haunted her. She was so deep into her meditation that through it all she hadn’t moved a muscle. Soon her awareness returned to her energy. It now felt as though it had passed into the center of her skull. She felt as though she herself were inside her own skull. At first it was like a soft light filtered through an opaque surface, like frosted glass. Then the light began to flicker and brighten, slowly at first, then progressively faster until the light once again appeared constant. As the light continued to brighten, her sense of space changed.
First, she felt as though the sphere she inhabited was the size of her head and that the tiny spark of her awareness was her true self. Then this sphere expanded. Slowly at first, then gradually accelerating until it seemed like infinite space in all directions. Then in a flash, a new sense of space emerged, and with it an image. She saw a flickering light like a candle flame and a figure sitting in a stone chamber. It felt familiar somehow. Then she realized she was seeing herself—her own body sitting in the Jade Palace.
Her sense of self was subtle, fuzzy, almost non-existent. She felt as though she were seeing the chamber from multiple angles, multiple vantage points all at once, unless she focused on something in particular. Then she felt more definite, more distinct, if only slightly. The thought occurred to her that it was almost like the electron shell in an atom. Maybe this is what non-locality is like. But if I’m non-local, I’m not tied to my present location. As the realization hit her, it became true; she was free!
She felt a sense of joy and freedom, but also peace like she had never known. In an instant her awareness had expanded out of the cave and she found herself in the sky, flying high about the Abode of the Guanzi. She was aware of the mountain peaks, and saw the valley below, then the entire Qilian Range. She recalled the route they had taken through the mountains, and just as suddenly she was there, soaring above it back towards the Rainbow Desert and Zhangye.
Amazing! This must be what the Guanzi described. But thinking of the Guanzi she was also reminded of the Guanzi’s warning. I’d better not wander too far. Then she heard it, although she wasn’t sure her hearing was accurate. It was like a thought in her mind.
“Rohini, there is danger. You must return to your body.”
She saw an indistinct shape glowing in the sky in front of her. At first, she took it for a small cloud catching the light of the sun, but as she focused on it, it began to change, becoming more distinct. She saw a face begin to form, then a body. The figure pointed to the valley below. “Look.”
She turned her awareness from the cloud-like apparition to the temple below. What was she seeing? It was hard to tell at first. There were figures moving in the valley below. They were in a semi-circle around the temple, moving closer. The thought hit her that it was like a noose tightening around it. I need a closer look. Then she was closer and the realization of what she was seeing dawned on her. The dozen or so figures were dressed in black—like the men who’d tried to kidnap her—armed with assault rifles and closing in on the temple.
It was then she understood the warning. As her thoughts returned to the apparition it was there in front of her again. “Yes,” she heard in her mind. “Go now.” She simply thought of her body in the cave and she was there again. She saw her body seated in the cave, and then she was back in her body.
Her body felt heavy and solid, like a statue. Then she realized someone was gently shaking her on the shoulder. She opened her eyes to the dimly lit chamber. It was Jingyi. “Come!” she said, somewhat breathlessly.
“He has returned!”
“Who?” Rohini said, confused. “Who’s returned?”
“Zhongkui!” Jingyi said.
Rohini was fully alert now. She uncrossed her legs and stepped down off her seat, following Jingyi back down the steps through the Guanyin Grottos until at last they were back in the Guanzi’s chamber. She saw Jane, Guangming, and the Guanzi who was standing with them, along with a fourth person whom she didn’t recognize, yet he seemed familiar. They looked up at her approach and when she saw his eyes, she knew. He was the apparition she’d seen in the clouds.
48
Jane, Guangming, and Jingyi were sitting with the Guanzi sipping tea and chatting. They were curious to see what Rohini would experience in the Upper Grotto. The Guanzi told them that it would probably be unlike anything they had experienced before.
“We should probably retrieve her before too long,” the Guanzi was saying, when suddenly Jingyi spit out her tea, startling them all. They all looked at her wondering what had happened, then realized she was staring at something across the chamber. They all turned to see a man standing there; from his dress he appeared to be an Elder.
“Hello Sinéad, it’s been too long,” he said, looking at Jane. She leapt up and crossed the chamber, embracing him in a hug.
“Where have you been for so long? I was afraid you weren’t coming back,” Jane said. Then turning to the others, she said, “It’s my mentor, he’s back!”
“Zhongkui?” the Guanzi said. “Is it really you?”
“Yes, I am Zhongkui. My apologies, Daozhang,” he said bowing. “Are you the Abbess here? Have the grottos become a temple?”
“Yes, you could say that. It’s quite a long story, I’m afraid,” the Guanzi said. “So, then it is true, you are an Elder.”
“I was an earthling once, but yes, I am known as an Earth Elder, having become Immortal many centuries ago,” Zhongkui replied.
“I encountered your charge on my way here, Sinéad. She has made remarkable progress in her self-cultivation. Is she in the upper grotto?” Zhongkui said.
“Oh, Rohini! Jingyi, can you please fetch her?” the Guanzi said. Jingyi left the chamber to summon Rohini from her meditation.
“I also saw danger,” Zhongkui said. “There is a temple in the valley below, there were soldiers approaching it. We must warn them. If they use the tunnel they should be able to escape in time.”
“You mean the tunnel from Tianyinzi’s cave?” the Guanzi said. “I’m afraid it is no longer there, or if it is no one knows how to access it.”
“I can show you the way,” Zhongkui said. “Can you contact the monastery to warn them? If they can make their way to the cave, we can get them into the tunnel.”
“I can,” she said. “One moment.” The Guanzi stepped behind the screen on the dais, from where the light seemed to emanate. “Please, Guangming, give me a hand, would you?”
As Guangming followed the Guanzi he saw there was a perch with a raven tied on a tether behind the screen, as well as a window which had been mounted into a hole in the cave wall. The Guanzi bent over a small table and wrote off a quick message which she rolled up and placed in the small tube attached to the raven. “Please open the window, would you, Guangming?” she said. She gave the raven a gentle pat on the head and said, “Go quickly, my little one!” and let it go.
Guangming closed the window and they returned to the others as Jingyi and Rohini entered the chamber.
“It was you in the sky, wasn’t it?” Rohini said. “You’re Zhongkui.”
“Yes, Rohini. I was surprised to encounter you out of body. Your progress is quite remarkable,” Zhongkui said. “But now we must hurry if we are to help those at the temple. Do you have any weapons here, a sword perhaps?”
“I’ve got a handgun in my pack downstairs,” Jane said.
“We have swords, staffs, and guandao. No firearms, I’m afraid, we’ve never had a need for them,” the Guanzi said. “One of the chambers downstairs is a small armory. But where is the tunnel?”
“Come, I’ll show you,” Zhongkui said.
They started down the stairs, Zhongkui leading the way. As they entered the main chamber, Zhongkui did a double take as they passed the altar, before continuing past. There were more vital matters to attend to. “Which room is the armory?” he asked.
“That one,” the Guanzi said, pointing.
“Grab whatever you feel most comfortable using,” Zhongkui said as they entered the armory. “An unfamiliar weapon could be more of a liability than an asset.”
“Sounds like someone else I know,” Rohini said, nudging Jane with her elbow.
There were racks against the walls holding an assortment of traditional Chinese weapons; mainly staffs, spears, and swords, as well as a few of the Chinese halberds known as guandaos. Rohini grabbed a staff, Guangming chose a guandao, and the Guanzi picked up a sword. Jane had gone to her chamber to grab her gun, but she quickly rejoined them, grabbing a sword as well.
“Have you kept up your practice, Sinéad?” Zhongkui said, as he saw her grab a sword.
“Not as much as I’d like, Mentor. I’m still much better with this,” she said patting the gun in her shoulder holster.
“Wait, you two know each other?” Rohini said. “You didn’t tell me you knew Zhongkui,”
“I didn’t realize I did. This is my Elder mentor, Rohini. He never called himself Zhongkui. I only knew him as my mentor. I’d never even heard the name Zhongkui until Guangming told us about the society.
“And Sinéad, is that your real name?” Rohini said.
“Sinéad MacGowan, in the flesh. It’s the Irish version of Jane Smith,” Jane replied.
Hearing the commotion, the two old monks had come out of their chambers.
“What’s happening?” one said. “Why are you arming yourselves? Are we under attack?”
“Not here. The temple in the valley,” Guangming said. “We’re going to try to evacuate them through the old tunnel. Zhongkui knows the way.”
The two shared a confused look, and then were even more startled when they saw Zhongkui step out of the armory. Their first instinct was to begin prostrating themselves before him, but he would have none of it. “Please, that’s not necessary and we have much graver matters to attend to,” he said, helping the old monks up from the floor.
“Please Guanzi,” Guangming said. “Stay here. We can’t risk losing you.”
“He’s right,” the old monk said. “Let the young ones go. Stay here and let us protect you.”
“You’re probably right,” the Guanzi said. “I guess I’m not as spry as I used to be, this sword feels much heavier than I remember,” she said, laughing.
Zhongkui led the others out of the chamber and back towards the stairs, descending again. Rohini, Jane and Guangming hadn’t been below the main chamber before. Rohini wondered what they would find. As they descended the stone steps in the lantern light, it became clear that the lower level was much deeper. It took longer to reach the chamber below. It was similar to the main chamber above in that it appeared to be a naturally occurring cave which had been enlarged in places. It seemed to be a store room as there were large bags of grain and ceramic jars on shelves, as well as crates and boxes piled around the perimeter of the chamber.
“Here, we must move these,” Zhongkui said. Setting down the lantern he had been carrying, he began to move a stack of boxes out of the way. Grabbing the lantern again, he held it up towards the ceiling.
“It must be here somewhere,” he said. “Ah, there it is.”
It was faint in the dim lantern light, but from where she stood Rohini could just make it out; the Big Dipper was carved into the ceiling of the cave. She watched as Zhongkui reached up and pressed on either side of the handle. Nothing happened.
Rohini remembered the chamber at the monastery below with the figure poin
ting to the Dipper on the ceiling and what the abbot had said about the two invisible stars along the handle, “The attendants,” she said.
“Yes, Rohini. The secret stars of the Dipper. This must not have been used in many years if no one here knows of it. Let’s hope it still works,” Zhongkui said, pushing again, this time straining harder. Again, nothing happened.
“I hope we’ve got a Plan B,” Jane said.
Zhongkui moved back to the wall where he had cleared a space. Closing his eyes, he reached out with his free hand. There was a muffled grinding sound as a section of wall slid aside, revealing a dark void beyond. Rohini stood still, mouth agape. “Careful, you’ll catch flies like that,” Jane said, snapping her fingers in front of her face.
“Let’s go,” Zhongkui said, diving into the passageway; the others followed, hot on his heels.
49
Gruber’s team waited for sundown for their insertion. They had been breathing pure oxygen for the last half hour in the belly of the Transall C-160, in preparation for their jump. High Altitude Low Opening jumps were a specialty of Gruber’s team. When not on assignments they practiced the protocol over and over until their jumps had become like clockwork.
After meeting at their rally point in the far end of the valley and stowing their parachutes, they quickly made their way toward the temple compound in the twilight. Staying off the main trail, they fanned out through the orchards, closing in on three sides; the cliffs at the rear of the temple would prevent anyone escaping that way.
Their orders, as usual, called for minimum necessary force—not that they expected much resistance from a bunch of old monks at a mountain temple. They were to secure their targets, then get out quickly. Innocents they encountered would be left unharmed—if cooperative—but silenced if necessary.
Securing the main gate as well as one small side entrance they’d found, the raid began. They blew the lock on the gate with minimal noise using a small shaped charge. Once inside, the plan was simple: roust anyone they encountered and herd them all into a central location until they located their targets.
