She’d never been big on admitting she wished for things. She wanted to believe she was too practical for it, plus her parents had been pretty blunt from her earliest memory about telling her the truth; but the truth was she knew that was just her trying to measure up and not who she actually was. She’d never thought a fairy was going to take a lost tooth or that a bunny would bring her candy on Easter or that a fat man in a red suit was going to bring a present she’d secretly told him she wanted.
There may have been a part of her that had longingly wished she was like other kids but she’d always known she wasn’t. She simply didn’t have the right temperament for that.
“Avery? I wasn’t sure that was you,” Regina said coming over to her. Regina had bags in both hands and had clearly been doing her part for the local economy tonight. They were both on the WOWR committee together but Regina hadn’t been very welcoming to Avery. In fact she’d deliberately not shown up one time they were supposed to work a charity booth together. Avery suspected the new friendliness from Regina was down to the fact that everyone in town had seen her dancing with Logan.
“Hey,” she said. “I’m just getting started shopping; did you leave anything for me?”
“A few things. This is one of my favorite nights of the year,” Regina said. “Lavender Dreams has a special on their hand cream and I heard that Ariana is going to be launching a new product after the first of the year.”
“This is one of my favorite nights too. I will check it out. I use that cream every night,” Avery admitted. “See you around.”
Regina stopped her with her hand on her arm. “Where is Logan?”
“His brothers are in town,” Avery said. She didn’t want to talk about Logan or his brothers or anything else. She wanted to drink her eggnog latte and pretend that she was her normal self and not a woman who was trying to decide what to do with the man in her life. “They are catching up and hanging out tonight.”
Which as far as Avery knew was the truth. She had no idea what Logan and his brothers were doing since she’d once again found herself sneaking out of his house and running to hers. She had begun to break that pattern over the past week but now felt like she was back where she started. The next time they made love she hoped she could just stay in his bed all night.
“All of them?” Regina asked.
“Yes. Why?”
“Well Sully never comes to Whiskey River. He didn’t even come for Jane’s funeral. He really should have. She practically raised him after his dad killed that family.”
She knew a little bit about Jane but only what Logan had told her and she knew nothing about his brothers. Other than the fact that Sully was a mixed martial artist who was working his way up to champion and that Finn was some kind of financial genius.
“He’s here this year. I think that Logan wanted them all here this year,” Avery said.
“I wonder why?” Regina asked.
Probably because of the winery. It was making Logan focus on how he could help kids like he and his brothers and Eli and Harlan who grew up in the Barrels and often felt like there was no way out of that cycle of poverty. The three of them had made it out but there were a bunch of families that never had.
“I don’t know,” Avery said. “I better run. I’m determined to get a pair of Kelly Boots limited edition boots this year and I told Savannah I’d meet her there.”
Regina looked like she wasn’t going to let her go but Avery just gave her an air kiss à la Paloma Kelly and darted away. She realized that she was tired of running and pretending that she didn’t know what she wanted. She had been lying to herself. Trying to make out that she was cool with keeping things casual when she knew that her wish for this Christmas and every one of her life was to have a family of her own. Someone who wanted to celebrate the holiday and every day with her.
*
Avery saw Logan exiting Booze’s Place with his brothers and darted toward the Kelly Boots store. Christmas on The Square was a great success and the square was crowded so she hoped he wouldn’t see her almost running in the opposite direction. But she wasn’t ready to see him right now and she’d promised Savannah she’d meet her at the Kelly Christmas boots unveiling. Each year they made a limited edition boot with one version for men and one for women. Last year Avery had missed out on ordering a pair and had been drooling over Savannah’s ever since.
As she entered the Kelly Boots store she noticed the chairs that had been set up in front of a raised dais. She knew from the past that Wyatt would be making the announcement and then usually the Trey, Zander and Nicholas and their wives would step out and model the boots. She saw Savannah sitting in the front row and noticed Harlan was sitting right next to her. Those two were becoming quite the couple and Avery couldn’t be more thrilled for her friend.
It was nice to see someone finding happiness easily with a guy. Unlike herself who threw up obstacles and kept being tripped up by the past. She sat down next to Savannah.
“You’re the best!” she said to Savannah and then exchanged greetings with Harlan. She chatted with Savannah and shortly after Wyatt came out to the roar of applause.
“Welcome y’all. The tradition of a Christmas boot started with my daddy. Now, y’all know he wasn’t a subtle man,” Wyatt said.
And those who’d known Boots laughed. Avery and Savannah looked at each other. “That wasn’t all he was known for,” Avery said.
“The man did make a nice boot,” Savannah said, leaning forward as Wyatt set a display box on the high table next to him. Wyatt’s wife Juliette came up next to him and placed a second box beside it.
Avery reached for Savannah’s hand and squeezed it.
“We are proud to present this year’s Kelly Boots Christmas design,” Wyatt said as both he and Juliette pulled the fabric back to reveal the intricate design that was a play on the Texas flag using dyed blue and red leather to frame white leather. Savannah was on her feet and made a beeline to the registers as soon as Wyatt announced they’d start taking orders.
Avery followed behind her friend as Sully Calloway came into the shop. He saw her and nodded. Logan’s brother scared her a little bit. She knew their history so she got it but he was the kind of guy that she wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of.
She noticed that many of the shoppers gave him a wide berth and if she hadn’t been paying close attention to him she wouldn’t have noticed how it affected him. He hesitated and took a step back toward the door but didn’t leave.
“Sully,” she called out and waved at him and smiled.
He looked at her for a second and then he smiled and he didn’t seem as intimidating as before. In fact, his smile reminded her a bit of Logan’s. He moved through the crowd with purpose, his broad shoulders making it seem like he was too big for the small space. He rubbed a hand over his buzz cut when he was at her side.
“Hi, Avery,” he said. “I had no idea it would be this crazy in here.”
“I know, right?” Avery said. “I figured you could join me. Last year I missed out on ordering a pair and Savannah wore hers a lot, which made me jealous.”
“Jealousy isn’t a good thing,” Sully said.
“No, it’s not. Do you want a pair?” she asked. To be honest as much as she knew that Sully had been born and raised here in Whiskey River, like Logan he wasn’t really a cowboy.
“Hell no. I promised my assistant that I’d get her a pair,” Sully said.
No one needed to tell her that he was a man of his word. She’d seen him standing there looking uncomfortable and not budging. She had planned to avoid him at all costs since he’d seen her lying naked under his brother, but she hated to see everyone in town backing away from him. Sully being a Calloway was acting like it didn’t matter, but she suspected that it did. That was something she admired about all of the Calloway men. They didn’t let anything stand in their way. Logan had shown her that with his determination to make a relationship happen between then.
“What si
ze is she?”
He told her. “I’ll order them for you.”
“Thanks, Avery. We’re in Booze’s toward the back playing pool,” he said. “Come over when you’re done. I owe you one.”
“I will,” she said. She’d been running earlier because she hadn’t been sure where she fit in with Logan and his brothers. They were all good-looking in different ways, all intimidating as well, but Sully had treated her like she was part of their group. And she realized that they were a tight-knit group. If she was able to trust Logan she’d be getting Finn and Sully too. They would protect her the same way he did.
Sully headed back out of the shop and Avery moved up on the line. She was torn because the idea she had in her head of herself in a family wasn’t this one. She had pictured one day she’d have a nice JC Penney advertisement family. Not too showy or flashy but a decent-looking man and some average-looking kids.
But she realized that that image in her head was just that…an image. It wasn’t real. And Logan—no matter how many times she’d tried to force him back into that guy she’d only known from a few phone conversations and what she’d read online about him at gossip sites—he wouldn’t go back to being a stranger. He had changed her and changed her idea of what she wanted.
And now she just had to figure out if she could embrace it or if she was going to self-destruct the way she always did when things got too close to what she wanted.
*
Logan knew that Avery wasn’t sure about him. His reputation and life on the West Coast made it hard for her to take him seriously. It didn’t seem to matter that they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. But he knew that good sex wasn’t going to change Avery’s mind. For all that she was sassy and feisty and couldn’t resist a dare there was part of herself that she kept closely guarded and there wasn’t a reason or a million reasons he could give her to change her mind.
Sully had decided to brave the crowd at Kelly Boots to order a pair for his assistant who apparently was a huge fan of the brand. Finn was at the bar trying to get another round for them. Logan sat back into the corner bench knowing he should be able to relax, that this was a moment when his brothers were safe and happy. Hell, they were both incredibly successful and all the things that had kept him awake for a number of years were no longer things he had to worry about.
So why did he have this edgy feeling in his gut?
Finn nodded toward the middle of the room in the back of Booze’s Place. There were four pool tables and Logan noticed that the group at one of them seemed to be finishing up.
Logan got up and walked over to the table. His brothers wanted a game tonight and though he had a pool table in the mansion they had wanted to play in town.
“Hey, Logan, you want to join us?” one of the guys said.
“My brothers and I are hoping to play when you are done. Just figured I’d watch and see if I could pick up any tips. Finn looks like he’s a sweet kid but he’s a hustler.”
All of the guys around the table laughed. Finn showed up with a bucket of longneck Lone Star beers and they both watched the game finish up. Sully arrived just as the other men were leaving.
“How was the boot shop?”
“Crazy busy. And since I’m not pretty boy over there, the customers were decidedly uncomfortable around me.”
Logan shot him the bird.
“Did you leave without the boots?” Finn asked. “I can go over and order them for you.”
“No need, Logan’s woman took care of it for me.”
His woman? “Avery?”
“Do you have more than one woman?” Sully asked, snagging a bottle from Finn’s bucket and taking a long swallow.
His middle brother worried Logan at times. He had never stopped fighting and there were times when Logan wished he could tell Sully that they didn’t need to live in violence. But he knew that would lead to a skirmish and he wasn’t in the mood to go several rounds with his brother tonight.
“I’m not sure if she’s my woman,” Logan admitted as he grabbed the triangle and set the balls up.
“She was in laying naked underneath you when we got to your place,” Finn pointed out. “And you were pretty damned protective of her.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want her to be my woman. I’m just not sure that Avery sees us that way.”
“What way?” Avery asked, walking up to them and shrugging out of her coat, which Logan walked over and took from her, hanging it on the hook beside his. “Here is your receipt, Sully.”
“Thanks,” his brother said, pocketing the receipt.
“So who’s playing together?” Finn asked.
“Avery and me against you two,” Logan said.
“I thought she wasn’t your woman,” Sully said.
His brother was going to get the fight he was looking for if he didn’t shut up about that.
“I’m not?” Avery asked.
“Do you want to be?” he countered, pulling her away from his dumbass brothers who were grinning over at him. Loving the fact that he was having this conversation in front of them.
“Do you?” she asked.
He turned Avery so the wall was to her back and he leaned in over her, resting one arm against the wall over her head and putting his other hand on her hip. “Yes, I want that. But I’m trying not to pressure you. I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I don’t know either,” she said. “I like you and I think…well this is unexpected but it feels real to me. So I’m trying to figure out if I’m fooling myself that you and I could ever be more than temporary lovers sharing the holidays together.”
“I think we can be,” Logan said, ignoring the voice in the back of his mind that warned that he wasn’t sure if he had really figured out how to silence the demons that dwelled inside of him. Of course, he wasn’t beating the crap out of his brother or getting shitfaced so that was one thing that made him feel a little confident he wasn’t going to turn into his dad.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, I’d like to be your woman,” she said, with a smile that he felt all the way to his bones. He leaned in and moved his hand up to her waist.
She tipped her head back and their eyes met and he felt something that he couldn’t identify; he just knew that being with Avery made him feel something. He lowered his mouth, brushed his lips over hers and then because kissing Avery made him feel like an alcoholic who needed just one more drink, he pulled back.
“So, I guess she’s your woman,” Finn said.
“Yeah, I am,” Avery said, slipping under Logan’s arm, letting her hand brush over his butt. “Now are you two ready to lose?”
“Did Logan tell you he was good at pool?” Sully asked. “Because everyone knows that he’s the worst player in the family.”
“Well then it is his lucky day,” Avery said. “Because I’m damn good at it.”
“Are you?” Logan asked, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her back against him. Mainly because she’d said she was his and now he wanted to hold on to her. He’d never had a steady a girlfriend. Never wanted one, but he had Avery and he didn’t want to let her go.
She tipped her head back to look up at him and whispered the word no. Then she smiled and he started laughing. She was ballsy—he’d give her that. And he knew that with Avery by his side he felt like he could do anything.
Chapter Thirteen
The phones at her office were ringing off the hook the week before Christmas. And traditionally this had been a very busy time for her. Logan had made it clear to teachers, church groups and everyone in town that he’d fund Christmas for any family that needed it.
After the story he’d told her of how Christmas had been his worst time of year, she knew that it was very close to his heart to make sure other kids didn’t grow up hating it the way he had. It was one of the things that made her realize what kind of man he was.
His agent had been calling all week, wanting to know when Logan
would be back in Los Angeles, but he’d put the man off. Saying he was staying in Whiskey River for now.
She wasn’t sure what that had meant and when she’d asked him last night, he’d just carried her back to his bed and made love to her until she fell asleep. She wanted to believe that it meant he was staying but his life was on the West Coast and hers was here.
She had been toying with asking Logan to join her and her parents in Colorado on the 26th. She wanted him to meet them and she also didn’t want to spend too much time apart from him.
He hadn’t mentioned changing his plans to head back to the West Coast after New Year’s Day or invited her to do anything with him on New Year’s Eve. But then again she hadn’t mentioned it either.
She heard him hang up on the phone, and went to go down the hall to talk to him but his phone rang again.
“Calloway here,” Logan said.
Avery hesitated in the doorway. Not sure if it would be a long call or not. She was due to meet with the high school guidance counselors in forty-five minutes and Logan had mentioned possibly coming with her.
“Sunny, calm down,” she heard him say.
Sunny? Sunny Hemmings. The pop star.
“I can’t come to Vegas today. I might be able to fly out after Christmas.”
He listened some more and Avery knew she needed to stop eavesdropping. She turned and walked out of the office and across the street without looking. Someone honked at her as she crossed. She waved her hand to say she was sorry.
Christmas on the Square might be over but the retail shops were of course still in full on holiday mode. Avery made her way to Cookies and S’More(s) to see if Rachel was available to talk but as soon as she stepped inside she saw her friend was engaged with a customer and Avery just backed out.
Besides what was she going to say to Rachel? Her friend might think she was silly for even believing that Logan was thinking of her as anything other than some holiday fun.
But he hadn’t made her feel like she was temporary.
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