The Bodyguard

by Joan Johnston

  But she did not believe she had any choice.

  She knew Alex found her attractive. At the moment, he was even grateful to her for saving his life. Oh, yes. It would be quite possible to get him to couple with her while he was still unaware that he was Blackthorne.

  And to be honest, she desired him as much as she believed he desired her. She could honestly give herself to him in exchange for the seed she would take from him. Perhaps it was not a fair exchange, but it was all she could offer.

  Alex caught her staring at him and asked, “Is there something else I should know?”

  She took a deep breath and let it out. “I … You … You had a wife,” she said at last. “She died.”

  When she saw the pain in his eyes, Kitt was sorry she had mentioned his wife. She was playing with fire to tell him even that much. The more she told him, the more he would want to know. He was not a stupid man. If she told him too much, he might figure it all out more quickly. And then …

  Kitt did not let herself dwell on what would happen when Alex regained his memory and learned what she had done. By then, if she were lucky, his bairn would already be growing inside her. She would lose Alex, but she would have the child who would be the salvation of her people.

  “Halloooo!”

  Kitt jumped up when she heard the call from the mouth of the cave. It wasn’t Laddie, because they had worked out a signal between them. She kicked out the fire and blew out the lantern that sat on the small table nearby. “Shh!” she warned Alex. “Be still. It may be a shepherd has stumbled upon the cave accidentally.”

  Or it might be the soldiers, who had caught up to them at last.

  Kitt’s mind was racing to figure out how she could keep the soldiers from entering the cave and discovering Alex. It would seem odd for her to be there by herself, but perhaps she could say she had retreated to the cave on the anniversary of some special date.

  Two figures in homespun loomed in the entrance to the cave, one large and one small. Not soldiers, then, but who could have found her here?

  “Lady Katherine? Is that you?”

  “Duncan!” Kitt felt her eyes mist with tears of relief. “Thank God it is you. Who is with you?”

  “ ’Tis Ian MacDougal, Lady Katherine.”

  “Ian.” The joy left Kitt’s heart as quickly as it had come. “How did you find me?”

  “Did you think we would not know where you had gone?” Ian said. “Has he died yet?”

  “I’m not likely to die anytime soon, if I can help it,” a voice said from the shadows.

  Knowing who Alex was, Kitt was not surprised to see the authority in his posture when he stepped into the sunlight at the entrance to the cave. He had draped a MacKinnon plaid around himself to cover his nakedness. Except for the ragged beard on his face and his pale complexion, he looked every bit as powerful as he had before the raid.

  He took two more steps forward and put his arm around her waist in a gesture that was not only protective, but possessive. “This was worth getting out of bed for,” he said, smiling down at her.

  “You’ve taken her to bed?” Ian said angrily. “I should have known better than to leave you two alone for so long. We should have come two weeks ago, Duncan, when I first asked.”

  “You know the Runner would have followed us,” Duncan said. “We couldna take the chance of coming here before he was gone.”

  “See what your delay has wrought?” Ian said. “She’s given herself to him!” He turned on Alex and said, “I should kill you—”

  “ ’Twas my choice to make!” Kitt interrupted. She was furious with Ian for jumping to conclusions, and angry enough to let him believe the lie for a little longer. “If I chose to lie with Alex, to make him my husband, ’twas because I believe he will make a better chief than any other man.”

  “Is that true, Alex?” Duncan said. “Have you taken her to wife?”

  Kitt’s mouth was open to explain the lie, when Alex replied, “If Kitt says we are man and wife, then ’tis true.”

  Kitt’s heart skipped a beat.

  Ian turned purple with rage.

  Duncan seemed unaffected by Alex’s momentous announcement. He merely said, “I wish you both happy. Congratulations, Alex.” He extended his hand, and as Kitt looked on in mute disbelief, Alex shook it.

  “I’ll not wish you well,” Ian said. “I hope the fever comes back and kills you. And if it does not, then mayhap I will.”

  “I dinna think I care for your threats, Ian,” Alex said.

  “Anytime you want to make a fight of it, I’m ready,” Ian said.

  “That pleasure will have to wait. My wife and I are still enjoying our honeymoon.”

  Alex leaned over and kissed Kitt on the mouth. She stared up at him, dazed by his audacity, wondering what kind of courage—or idiocy—it took to provoke a wild animal like Ian MacDougal.

  “When will you be returning home?” Duncan asked.

  “Soon,” Kitt managed to reply.

  “Not too soon,” Alex contradicted, his hand sliding down to her waist as he pulled her closely against him, his eyes meeting hers with a look that was avid enough to curl her toes. “You’re free to leave, Ian, now that you’ve learned what you came to find out.”

  “Who are you to be giving orders!” Ian snarled.

  “The MacKinnon,” Alex said in a quiet voice.

  Kitt would never forget the surprise on Ian’s face. Or the rage that quickly followed. If Duncan had not been there to lead him away, Ian might very well have attacked Alex. And since he was shaky on his feet, Kitt wasn’t at all sure Alex would have come away the winner.

  Once Ian and Duncan were gone, Alex wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and sagged against her. “Help me back to bed, Kitt, before I fall down where I am.”

  “Why did you provoke Ian?” she asked as she helped him stagger back into the cave and settled him once again on the pallet. “You should have let me handle him.”

  “ ’Twas worth the lie to see the look on his face when he heard me say we were husband and wife,” he said with a grin. “ ’Twas a good joke, Kitt. I hope there’ll be no trouble when we return, and you tell everyone the truth.”

  Alex sat down on the pallet, his shoulder angled against the wall so his wounded back did not touch it. Kitt sat beside him, their hands still clasped.

  Kitt was caught in a trap she had set herself.

  She could tell Alex who he was and set him free of the vow he had unknowingly made. Or she could perpetrate the fraud that would ultimately give her the power and position to save her clan.

  Tell him the truth. Tell him that in Scotland, when a woman declares she is married to a man and he confirms it before witnesses, ’tis as binding as vows in the kirk.

  Kitt leaned her head against his shoulder. “Alex … what if I didna want it to be a lie? What if I wanted us to be husband and wife?” She turned her face up to his, waiting for his reply.

  He smiled at her and lowered his mouth to kiss her gently on the lips. “Let’s pretend for a while longer, then, shall we?”

  Chapter 14

  As they settled onto the pallet that had been Alex’s bed, their backs braced against the stone wall of the cave, Kitt found it hard to resist Alex’s kisses. She had been attracted to him from the start, but what she had wanted for herself had always been in conflict with what was necessary to save her people. Now that she had her heart’s desire, the man in question had turned out to be her bitterest enemy! How strange life was. How very ironic.

  It seemed somehow wrong to enjoy herself so much when she was deceiving Alex. And yet Kitt could not seem to stop herself from touching him. She was like a child who had been denied a treat for too long. She ran her fingers through his hair, and for the first time it was her tongue that went searching in his mouth.

  Alex made a guttural sound in his throat and their tongues dueled as his hands went seeking the places where she was most vulnerable. She would have coupled with him then and there if h
e had not murmured, “I’m afraid I’m not being a very good bodyguard, Kitt. I’m supposed to protect you from importunate gentlemen.”

  She smiled against his lips. “What if I dinna want to be protected?”

  “What about your plans to marry the earl?”

  Kitt had not expected Alex to be so suspicious, or so unwilling to take what he had once said he wanted. She nibbled on his lower lip, as she had imagined doing a dozen times, to divert him.

  He groaned, then caught her shoulders and pushed her away. “I need an answer, Kitt.”

  She looked into eyes that had darkened with arousal, searching for an answer that would satisfy him. She found the only truth she knew. “When you were so ill with the fever, when I thought you might die, I had a chance to imagine what my life would be without you. I did not like what I saw.”

  She saw the hope and yearning in his gray eyes, saw that he was tempted to believe her. But he did not. Not yet.

  “What about your clan? They have always come first with you.”

  “I didna lie when I told Ian you would make a good laird for Clan MacKinnon,” she said. “And though I canna like how slowly the courts move, the chances are good I can eventually recover the land and the castle by legal means.”

  “And until then?”

  “We will do as the Scots have always done,” she said with a smile. “We will reive.”

  “I canna say I dinna want you, Kitt,” he said. “You know very well I do.”

  Hearing him speak the words with a Scots burr touched her somewhere deep inside. She could almost believe he was a Scot and not the detestable Englishman she knew he was.

  “Then be my husband, Alex.”

  “How can I, when I dinna even know who I am?”

  She laid her palm tenderly against his cheek and looked into his eyes. “I know everything I need to know about you, Alex.” And so much more than he realized.

  She saw the moment when he threw caution to the wind. When he let the carnal beast inside have what it wanted.

  “Very well, Kitt. I willna spit in fate’s eye. If you are meant to be mine, then so be it.”

  His mouth came down on hers in a kiss of claiming, a kiss that took and took before it gave and gave. As his arms closed tightly around her, Kitt felt a sob welling inside. She fought it back, pressing her face hard against his shoulder and accidentally forcing his back against the wall.

  “Ah.”

  It was a small sound, but enough to make her aware of his pain. “Your back must be hurting,” she said in a voice muffled against his chest.

  “ ’Tis my head that worries me,” he murmured.

  A quiver of fear shot through her. “You’ve been remembering?”

  “I see things in my head. A green lawn. The room behind the door I told you about.”

  “Do you remember names? Faces?” she asked anxiously.

  He shook his head. “Nothing that makes any sense.”

  “I dinna want to wait to say words in the kirk, Alex.” He might regain his memory before that could happen. “Make love to me now, please.”

  She must make love to him as often as she could before his memory returned, to breed an heir to Blackthorne Hall.

  Kitt looked deep into Alex’s eyes, hoping that he would forgive her when all was said and done. She had never before noticed the spray of age lines at the corners of his eyes. How old was the duke, she wondered? She did not know even that small fact. Blackthorne was and always would be a stranger to her. But what kind of monster might he turn out to be when he was once again himself?

  Kitt shivered and Alex pulled her close.

  “Are you cold?”

  “A little.” Deep inside she felt a coldness that had nothing to do with the temperature.

  The man holding me in his arms is not the duke. It is Alex. Alex is another person altogether, one I can like and admire.

  It was a fiction, but one Kitt needed to believe in to keep her guilt and fear at bay. She clenched her teeth to stop her chin from trembling. She fought back the terror that gripped her insides when she imagined what revenge the duke would take when he found out how she had tricked him.

  His eyes were heavy-lidded, his lips full. She kept her eyes locked with his as she reached up with shaking hands to remove the pins from her hair. As he watched, she released her braids until her hair fell free over her shoulders. Then she eased herself back onto the pallet, feeling like nothing so much as a lamb ready for slaughter.

  She flinched when Alex reached for her, and it was all she could do not to burst into tears.

  “I’ll not hurt you, Kitt,” he said. “You canna know how much I’ve wanted you.” He smiled down at her as his hands tangled in her hair. “ ’Tis so soft and silky.” He lowered his head, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply. “What perfume is that I smell?”

  “ ’Tis nothing but good Scottish soap.”

  “I shall never forget it, Kitt. ’Twill always remind me of you.”

  Kitt closed her eyes and felt Alex’s kisses on her eyelids. His lips caressed her cheeks, her nose, her chin, and finally the edge of her mouth. “Alex, I can’t—”

  His mouth closed over hers, cutting off her confession. And then it was too late. His tongue slid inside, hot and wet and invasive. She heard an animal sound of pleasure and realized it had come from her own throat.

  She had never realized how powerful a kiss could be. Her body curled inside as though a drawstring had been pulled tight. Her hips arched toward him with a will of their own. Her arms closed around his shoulders, and her fingernails dug into his flesh.

  “Easy,” he said. “Easy.”

  He tugged on her hair to angle her head and slanted his mouth over hers for another penetrating kiss. “I need to be inside you.” He lifted her and hugged her close, his breathing harsh in her ear. “Oh, God, Kitt. I dinna want to hurt you. At the loch you said you had seen Leith. Did you—Did he—”

  “I am untouched, Alex,” she said. “ ’Twas my greatest regret when I learned Leith was dead.”

  “I canna be sorry for it,” he said, his voice rough. “I canna be sorry you’re to be mine and only mine.”

  As he undressed her, he worshiped her body. The reverence of his touch and the awe in his eyes made her feel cherished when she was at last naked before him.

  He was not wearing much by that time himself. She had returned pleasure for pleasure, touching what she revealed, his chest, his muscular belly, and the part of him she had seen before … but not like this.

  “You will split me in two,” she said in a frightened voice.

  “No, Kitt. We are made for each other. You will see.”

  “But—”

  “Come, kiss me again. Let me touch you. And if you will, touch me.”

  There was so much pleasure in feeling the hardness of muscle and sinew beneath his skin. So much pleasure in running her fingers through the curls on his chest, the salty taste of his shoulder, the satisfied, masculine sounds he made in his throat when she nibbled on his ear.

  And there was so much pleasure in what he did to her. His callused hand brushing across her hipbone. His mouth and tongue playing with her breasts and sucking hard enough to draw her insides up tight. His hand moving downward, and then his finger sliding inside her, a sudden exciting, frightening invasion.

  He distracted her with more kisses, deep, penetrating kisses, as his fingers caressed her. Kitt began to writhe beneath his touch. She didn’t know what to do with her hands, and finally put them around Alex, her fingernails scraping across his skin as the sensations increased to unbearable pleasure.

  “Tell me what to do, Alex,” she pleaded. “I want to please you.” She let her hands slide down the length of his back to his taut buttocks and felt him surge against her. She sought his mouth with hers and thrust her tongue deep inside, returning the torment and delight he was bringing her.

  Then his hand was gone and something hard was pushing against her flesh. She felt a moment of panic,
remembering the size of him, but his mouth was against hers whispering reassurances. He pinched her breast, and the pain of that distracted her from the instant of greater pain as he breached her.

  “Ah!” She tensed her body, fearing more pain. But it did not come. She felt full with him inside her. But it no longer hurt.

  He held himself still, but she could feel the tension in his shoulders and back.

  “ ’Tis done, my love,” he said.

  “You’re done?” she said, surprised and a little disappointed.

  He chuckled. “No. I said ’tis done.” His voice changed, the humor gone, as he put his hands to either side of her face and forced her to look at him. “You’re mine now. Forever.”

  Kitt felt a shiver of foreboding. She opened her mouth to confess the truth—but never got the chance. His mouth captured hers as his body began to work inside her, the friction creating surprising, exquisitely pleasurable sensations. Before very long, her body joined his in a dance as old as the ages.

  Kitt had never dreamed one person could become so much a part of another. Had never expected the surge of emotion that claimed her as Alex spilled his seed inside her. Never imagined the devastating consequences of giving her body to him … and discovering she had lost her soul.

  ’Tis done. I’ve kept my promise, Father. The duke’s seed is planted. May it grow into a fine MacKinnon son.

  Alex was sucking air to keep moving. His shirt was stuck to him with sweat, and he had to resist the urge to sit down right where he was. Bloody hell. His body would give only so much and no more.

  “Sit down, Alex, before ye fall down,” Mick advised.

  He was not far from a boulder beneath an alder tree, and Alex forced himself to walk the few steps to reach it. “I need to get my strength back,” he said as he sank onto the stone.

  Mick plopped down in the grass at his feet, shifted his rump away from a thistle, and plucked out a leftover barb. “Ye’ve been walking for hours, uphill and down. A well man could barely manage it,” the boy said. “Why are ye pushing yerself so hard?”