Dating the DILF: A Single Dad Romance

by Amali Rose

  “Forget safe, Charlie. Fuck safe. Life isn’t about being safe. It’s about getting messy and taking chances and experiencing everything.” She scoots closer toward me and grips my calf. “I’ve watched you for the past three years. You work, you go home where you work some more, binge-watch sitcoms and sexy demons—Oh!” She turns and pauses the television which had been forgotten. “You sleep, and then you get up and do it all over again. I manage to get your ass here once a month for a girls’ night and that’s it. That’s the extent of your social life. Honestly, it’s a miracle you even met Miles!” She throws her hands up dramatically.

  “That’s not true. I went to New York to visit Wyatt not long ago. And I’m going to that gala in a couple of weeks. I have a social life.” I try not to sound defensive. I fail.

  “You went to New York eight months ago and the gala is a work function. That does not equate to a social life, my love. I’m sorry, just, no.”

  “What would you do?”

  “Me?” She sighs deeply. “I’d jump into it headfirst, kid and all. But you’re not me and that’s okay, Charlie. Being you is okay.”

  Why do you always ruin everything? The memory twists deep within me.

  “Right.” I snort. “You would be the only one to think so.” I turn to face her. “What should I do?”

  “I think you should take it slow. Just get to know him and don’t worry about the other stuff. At least, not until you’re sure this is going somewhere. Then you can figure the rest out.” She tilts her head to the side. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

  “I could get my heart broken,” I offer.

  “Meh, no one ever died from a broken heart.” She throws an M&M at me, so I retaliate with the plump cushion from behind my back. My aim is off though and it sails over her shoulder.

  “That wasn’t his only revelation, by the way.”

  A television begins blaring from the apartment belonging to Adelaide’s nightmare neighbor.

  “Does he always have his TV so loud?” I question, straining to make out the overexcited babbling coming from the too-loud television.

  “He’s an inconsiderate jerk, so yes.” She returns the bowl of candy to the coffee table, swapping it for a cupcake. “What else did he say?”

  “Well, he hates ice cream.” The cupcake stops midair, its path to Addy’s mouth halted while she looks at me incredulously.

  “He hates ice cream?”

  “Yes! That’s weird, right?” My words are tinged with vindication. I knew it was strange.

  “I mean, yeah, it’s unusual, but if you think I’m going to tell you to stop seeing him over ice cream, you’re out of your freaking mind.” She takes a bite of the cake and mumbles around her mouthful. “Stop trying to find excuses to give up on this.”

  “Fine.” I huff. “Anyway, that wasn’t the weirdest thing he told me. He was on a reality show last year.” I groan.

  “Wait, what?” Adelaide blurts and then she starts coughing as she chokes on her cupcake.

  I reach over and give her a couple of hard thumps on her back and give her a moment to recover.

  “I thought you’d like that.” Adelaide is obsessed with reality television. Housewives, dancers, survivors, drag queens, she watches them all.

  “Which show was he on?” she asks excitedly.

  “Marrying the MILF? No, wait, MILF is a mother, right?” God, what was it called?

  “Dating the DILF?”

  “Yeah, that’s it. Did you watch it?” I grab a cupcake and use my finger to scoop half the icing off, licking it clean.

  “You’re dating Miles Kent from Dating the DILF?”

  “I had a date with him. Why are you looking at me like that?” Her eyes are narrowed, and she looks almost worried.

  “What did he tell you about the show?”

  “Not much. Just that it wasn’t a very good experience and he regrets doing it. Why?”

  “Yeah, I bet he does.” Her lips are pursed, and she looks pissed. “Okay, I might need to reevaluate my opinion, Charlie. I know he seems like a catch, but I think maybe you’re right. The kid thing is probably a deal breaker, so there’s really no point in pursuing it.” She nods her head firmly as though the discussion is over and grabs the remote.

  “What aren’t you telling me?” I could not possibly be more confused by her change of heart.

  “Look, I don’t want to say too much, because I know those shows are exaggerated and it’s really all about ratings, but I think you should google hi—” She’s cut off by a rhythmic banging that starts up on the wall behind the television. The same wall that Adelaide shares with her neighbor from hell.

  “You have got to be kidding me,” she exclaims and bolts up, storming toward the door.

  Throwing my cake down on the table, I jump up and follow her, trying to talk her out of doing anything stupid, but also a little bit thrilled to get a peek at the guy who has been driving her so crazy.

  She bangs on his door with two hands and I take a step back because I have never seen Addy so riled up before. She’s kind of frightening.

  The door opens and a tall guy with messy blond hair and a smile that screams danger stands there, his stormy gray eyes taking in every inch of her, from her jean-short-clad legs to the messy bun on top of her head.

  He clearly likes what he sees.

  “What can I do for you tonight, princess?”

  “Don’t call me that,” she snaps. “And you can try keeping it down in there. Like maybe turn the television down and not throw things against the wall? That’d be great, m’kay?” She starts to spin around, but he grabs her wrist and stops her.

  “I’m sorry, Adelaide.” His face the picture of contrition. “My niece is here, and I have trouble saying no to her. But for you, I will incur her wrath. I really am sorry.”

  I cross my arms over my chest and bite my lip to stop my laughter, enjoying the show.

  “Fine.” Addy’s shoulders slump slightly as though the fight has left her body. “Thank you.” She turns back to me. “C’mon, let’s go.”

  I’m about to follow when I glance into the apartment behind neighbor-guy and see a familiar face walk into the kitchen.

  “Miles?”

  I look up at the sound of my name and come face to face with a confused Charlie. I’m pretty sure my expression mirrors hers.

  What is she doing at Grayson’s place?

  A smaller, pixie-faced blonde suddenly appears in front of Charlie and her eyes narrow shrewdly as she appraises me. Yeah, it’s safe to say, she recognizes me.

  Gray is watching us all, his brows drawn together and wearing a small frown.

  “That’s Charlie,” I inform him.

  “Really?” He turns to her with a broad grin. “How’s your pussy?”

  “Excuse me?” Her lips flatten into a straight line.

  “Your cat.” He shifts back in my direction. “Didn’t you say she found a cat?”

  The blonde murmurs something under her breath and I’m pretty sure I catch the word asshole.

  “That’s Adelaide,” Gray tells me. Ah, the neighbor he’s been after since he moved in. The animosity makes sense now. Maybe she doesn’t recognize me after all.

  “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the DILF who’s dating my friend.”

  Fuck me.

  “Aren’t you going to invite us in?” Adelaide addresses Grayson.

  “I’ve been inviting you in for six months, princess. You finally going to take me up on my offer?”

  “Nope, but I will come in.” She grabs a bewildered-looking Charlie and drags her inside.

  The last few minutes have been complete confusion, but a silence settles over all of us when a small but mighty voice calls out from the living room.

  “Daddy, where’s the pizza?”

  We all turn and look at Lulu, whose eyes have not lifted from her coloring, despite the noise we’ve been making.

  “It’ll be here soon, kid, I promise.”

 
; “And cheesy bread?” she prompts with a childish lilt.

  “Yeah, and cheesy bread.”

  “’Kay.”

  “I think we should go.” Charlie watches Lulu, who continues to ignore us, with a panicked look on her face before turning to Adelaide. “Addy, we need to go.”

  Adelaide bites her lip and nods. “Okay.”

  “Don’t go.” They both look at me with surprise. I’m pretty fucking shocked myself. I don’t introduce women to Lulu, it’s my number one dating rule, but Chicago has me wanting to break all the rules.

  “You should definitely stay,” Gray backs me up, although my guess is, he has his own ulterior motives. “We have pizza coming and it’s just four friends hanging out as far as Nugget is concerned. It’s not a big deal.” He shrugs.

  “Excuse us one moment.” Charlie pulls Adelaide back out into the hallway and they launch into a whispered conversation full of animated expressions and energetic hand flailing. Finally, Charlie nods her head and makes her way back to me.

  She stops in front of me while I lean against the doorframe and looks up at me apprehensively.

  “I’m not much of a kid person, so please don’t hold it against me if she hates me.” She chews on her bottom lip. “I thought I’d have more time to prepare for this.”

  I glance over my shoulder to make sure Lulu is still distracted and take a step forward, so we’re shielded by the door.

  “Lulu loves everyone, trust me, you don’t have anything to worry about.” I take her hand and pull her to me, leaning down until my mouth is a breath away from hers. “I had a really great time today and this is a pretty damn amazing coincidence. We would be stupid not to take advantage of it.” My mouth presses softly against hers and I sweep my tongue along her bottom lip. When her lips part and her tongue slides along mine, my cock jerks against my jeans, an uncomfortable reminder that I need to be careful tonight in front of Lulu. The smallest touch from Charlie seems to overwhelm me. It’s too much and not enough all at once.

  A gruff clearing of a throat breaks the moment and I look up to see the pizza guy standing there, shifting uncomfortably.

  “Uh, delivery for Grayson?”

  Gray pushes past us, making sure to brush against Adelaide on the way. She glares at his back and I decide that I’m a little afraid of her.

  “Ignore those two. I keep telling him, she’s your sister, man, you can’t kiss her like that in public.” He rolls his eyes in mock annoyance and slips some cash to the slack-jawed delivery guy, before ushering us all inside the apartment.

  “You’re a freak,” I mutter, flitting my eyes across to Charlie to make sure he hasn’t scared her off. Luckily for Gray, she is wearing a small smile and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Maybe his bad joke was enough to break the tension?

  We all follow Gray into the small living room where he drops the pizzas on the coffee table alongside a pile of paper plates.

  “Dig in,” he instructs. “I’ll get some sodas.”

  “Water for Lulu,” I remind him.

  “For duck’s sake!”

  We all turn and stare wide-eyed at my daughter. My perfect, angelic baby girl who apparently has cracked the curse word code at the tender age of two and three quarters.

  “Tallulah!” I scold at the same time Gray offers her a high-five and says, “Nice!”

  “What?” I seethe.

  “What?” he repeats innocently. “Last week I heard her say…” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “The F-word. So, I taught her a more socially acceptable version. You should be thanking me.”

  A snort comes from across the table and I look up to find Charlie and Adelaide desperately trying to disguise their laughter.

  I shake my head and try my best to hide my own amusement. I swear to God, half of parenting is covering up how funny you find their behavior.

  Turning to Lulu, I get her attention. “Kid, don’t ever listen to anything your uncle Gray tells you, understand?”

  She considers me thoughtfully and I can see the cogs of her brain turning. “Unstand. Can I have soda?”

  “No.”

  Lulu throws herself dramatically on the floor, groaning.

  “Lu, sit up so you can meet our friends.” The mention of friends has her sitting straight up and taking notice of Charlie and Adelaide for the first time. I introduce them both to her and she gets up and wanders around the table to stand in front of them.

  I can’t help but hold my breath. I know what I said but if she doesn’t like Charlie that would make things considerably harder on us. And from the reaction I got from Adelaide before, I would say we already have that against us.

  Lulu ignores Adelaide and locks eyes with Charlie, who is staring at her wide-eyed and as still as a statue. She looks too scared to breathe and I cover my mouth to hide a grin.

  “You’re pretty.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I am too.” Lulu tilts her head to the side and flattens her mouth.

  Charlie’s alarmed eyes fly to mine. “Yes, you are.”

  “I know.” She shrugs. “I like your bracelet.” Her fingers reach out to touch the delicate silver thread on Charlie’s wrist. “Can I wear it?”

  “I’d rather you didn’t.” Lulu’s mouth drops slightly, along with my stomach.

  “Why?”

  Charlie crosses her legs and shifts until she’s comfortable. “Because it was a gift from my nanna and poppa and it’s very special to me.”

  Lulu’s eyes light up. “My gramps gives me presents too. Look!” She sticks out her wrist where a gaudy bright pink plastic watch rests.

  “Oh, uh, it’s very nice.”

  “Yup. It’s my favorite.” And just like that, Lulu plops herself in Charlie’s lap and begins chatting away. I have to fight back a laugh at the startled look on Charlie’s face.

  “Here you go.” Gray sets down some cans of soda on the table and takes a seat next to Adelaide.

  “Were you guys settling in for a marathon of… what is this?” Adelaide asks, staring at the blaring television.

  “It’s The JoJo and BowBow Show,” I manage to get out. The show is fucking ridiculous, but Lulu is obsessed with it at the moment. “And, no. We had a deal, she got the TV until the pizza arrived and then it was ours for the night.”

  Lulu stops her chatter and glares at me, before going right back to extolling the virtues of the Barbie Dreamhouse she has asked for, for her birthday.

  “It was Miles’ turn to pick the movie tonight, so you’re in for a treat,” Gray teases.

  “Actually, I’ve changed my mind.” I run a hand through my hair nervously and glance over at Charlie to see her watching me with eyes alight with humor.

  “Oh, no, don’t change your mind on our account.” She laughs. “I have a feeling I’ll get so much enjoyment from your choice. Play it, Grayson.”

  “As you wish.” It’s my turn to glare now as he pulls up the movie and Charlie bursts into giggles when the opening credits for While You Were Sleeping start rolling.

  “It’s a good movie,” I grumble.

  An hour later, Lulu is fast asleep on the sofa and we are in the middle of debating the merits of Jack and Peter and who Lucy should have chosen.

  “I’m never going to agree with you all. Peter was an upstanding dude and Lucy was making him a better man. She should have gone through with the wedding,” Gray insists. “And don’t even get me started on that meddling Saul. He should have kept his nose right out of it.”

  Adelaide throws popcorn at him with a groan.

  “What about you, Charlie? Please tell me you’re on the side of right and agree that Jack was the only choice?”

  She takes a gulp of soda before answering. “He’s the rational choice, and I judge anyone who disagrees.” She quirks an eyebrow at Gray.

  She has impressed me tonight. After some initial awkwardness she relaxed enough to enjoy a laugh with Gray, and I loved watching her with Lulu. She didn’t talk down to her or baby he
r at all, which is a mistake a lot of people make. Lulu is around adults the majority of time, so she’s used to being treated like a miniature grown-up. She doesn’t respond well when she’s suddenly treated like the kid she is. Right or wrong, it’s the way it is and it’s as though Charlie instinctively understood that.

  “Okay, now that the kid is asleep and we’ve had a bit of a laugh, I think it’s time to get a bit serious.”

  We all turn to Adelaide as she spouts off her ominous warning and she looks me dead in the eye.

  “You were quite the prick on that show.”

  “It definitely appeared that way.”

  “Appeared? You’re saying it wasn’t a true depiction of you?”

  “It wasn’t.”

  “Hmm, well, I mean, that’s easy to say. Are we just supposed to trust you?”

  “Honestly, I don’t really care if you trust me.” I shrug apologetically. “I care if Charlie trusts me, and I’m under no illusion that’s going to happen just because I tell her she can. But I will prove it to her.”

  Charlie’s wide eyes are bouncing between the two of us while Gray watches with an amused smile.

  Adelaide pops a piece of popcorn in her mouth and chews slowly, staring at me contemplatively. “Fine, you have my approval.” She nods decisively and turns to Charlie. “I know I said you should google him, but don’t, okay?”

  “Oh God, yeah, for the love of Christ, do not google him.”

  “Do not google me, it will only end in tears. Mine.”

  Gray and I quickly jump in, talking over each other the moment Adelaide mentions google.

  Charlie looks uncertain and I hate that she feels that way about me. For the millionth time, I wish I could turn back time and erase that stupid show from my history.

  “Okay, I won’t,” she agrees and although she doesn’t look completely convinced, I’m grateful she is prepared to take a chance on me.

  I check my watch and see that it’s only seven-thirty, so I suggest another movie. “I’ll even let you choose.” I nod toward the girls.

  “Just one more thing,” Adelaide says, looking at Charlie pointedly. “Charlie has a cocktail party on the fourteenth and she needs a date. Are you available?”