Buried Alive

by Brown, Stacey Marie

  My mouth pinched together and my head shook almost of its own accord. Neil had wanted me to do deliveries and to help wherever he needed because it was going to be so busy.

  “You’re going out there, huh?” She flicked her head toward the window, hastily tying her hair in a ponytail. She was running late for her double shift at the restaurant. The reason for her lateness had slipped out the door a few minutes ago, ragged, but with a huge smile on his face.

  I nodded.

  “I’ll tell Neil you’re sick. Girl problems…it always freaks him out.” Siena grabbed her coat, struggling into it. “Mr. Colorado will have to fend for himself…poor baby. He has a gourmet kitchen but will probably stand in it wondering what the room is actually used for.”

  I grinned. She probably wasn’t too far off. “Thank you.”

  “I know how hard today must be for you. Did you talk to your parents?” She looked at me, but I turned back to the window.

  “Yeah, wished them a merry Christmas really early this morning before they headed to the hotel.”

  Silence filled the room for several beats after my response.

  “No, it’s fine, really. You have fun while I suffer and slave at my double shift, forced to be chipper, when my head is pounding…” She sat, tugging on her boots. “Speaking of pounding…”

  I snorted, twisting around.

  “Shit, he was an Energizer Bunny.” A smile broke out over her face. “You don’t happen to remember his name, do you? I called him Poland all night.”

  I burst out laughing, shaking my head. “You’ve met Jesper before, remember? And he’s from Sweden.”

  “Oh.” She paused, then shrugged. “Well, I guess I never got his name. Anyway, he didn’t seem to mind what I called him.”

  That was Siena. I loved the girl, but her shallowness was almost legendary. As long as he was hot and “famous,” she didn’t care. After the fight in the bar, I read up on Jesper. He had become a big deal in the snowboarding world in recent years. He matched Rhys in points and awards. The press wrote how there was no love lost between them. Yeah, and I knew why. Frickin’ Carrie. I was sure it also didn’t help the media was setting Jesper up to overtake Rhys because of Rhys’s injury.

  I was positive Rhys had other ideas.

  “He was great in bed but seemed more interested in learning about you than me.”

  “What?” I set my mug down. “Why me? What did he want to know?”

  “Oh, just who you were, where you were from, what connection you had to Colorado.” Siena didn’t seem fazed by his questions, but my stomach twisted with terror.

  “What did you tell him?”

  “Honestly?” She shoved on her boots. “I hardly remember saying much beyond telling him to go harder. Damn, I think I need a repeat with him. Merry Christmas, girl.” She grabbed her bag, blew me a kiss, and was out the door, leaving me blinking after her.

  “Mom, look at me,” a kid yelled, skiing past me, rushing me back to the present. Activity bustled around, snapping me from the morning recollections. The slopes were starting to fill up, lots of kids showing off their pristine helmets, skis, or snowboards they got as gifts. I peered down at my old black-and-hot pink board. I found it stuffed in the back of my closet at my parents’ house. The moment I touched it, it was like a spark in me came alive. I had spent so much time on it, my old friend; I’d been eager to dust it off and use it again.

  When I went up the hill and buckled into my bindings, I waited for a panic attack to hit me. But only great memories reflected off the board, taking me back to happier times when life felt light and good.

  Mist billowed from my mouth as I patted my helmet further down, stalking for the lift to take me back up.

  Bryan should be here with you. A voice slid into my head. Today of all days, I should go visit, but I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  I needed to experience the snow under my board again, feel what it was to be alive even if it was just for a day. And because I loved the high from snowboarding, I knew I wouldn’t be leaving this mountain until the sun started to set.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Rhys

  Slumped on the sofa, I stared at the remains of the party still scattered over the floor and onto the balcony. I should at least pick up the random bikini tops and underwear left behind so the maid didn’t have to deal with them.

  With Shaun heading to his daughter’s, and Graham off bedding his latest conquest from the party, the cabin was silent. Usually this was when I’d call Carrie or one of the girls whose number actually made it to my phone.

  The thought of doing either made me feel irritable and exhausted. I was truly done with my ex. But my not wanting to invite one of the hot bunnies over to lessen the loneliness on Christmas completely unnerved me. One should still be in my bed from the night before. What the hell is wrong with me?

  To my own dismay and to a handful of girls at the party, I went to bed alone, locking my door to the party as it continued on without me. I wasn’t much in the mood after my run-in with Hannah.

  My grumpiness escalated when some guy from the restaurant called me saying Hannah had called in sick, and cabin deliveries would be limited. It wasn’t as though I couldn’t fend for myself. Early on I had learned to cook, do laundry, and clean, not wanting to be a burden on Shaun. When I was a kid, I was afraid he would abandon me too if I was a nuisance. Can’t say the skills didn’t come in handy when I moved out on my own at seventeen.

  The holidays were never my favorite. Usually Shaun and I were training, while my parents would call in the morning to see if I got the presents they sent. Only once, when Shaun had to leave, did they fly me to Canada to spend it with them and Jonah. So kind of them to allow me to intrude on their Christmas tradition.

  I stared down at my phone, taking in a deep breath. It didn’t seem to matter how old I got or how my parents never ceased to disappoint, I still couldn’t stop myself from hitting the saved number and putting the phone to my ear.

  I let the phone ring eight times before the answering machine clicked on.

  “I know you’re there. Pick up, Dad,” I growled into the cell. He was a hermit. He didn’t leave the house unless it was absolutely necessary. My last visit to his small cluttered apartment in Florida had consisted of us watching the sports channel and making small talk. The only time our conversation ventured from the sports we watched was, “What do you want for breakfast?” to “What do you want for dinner?”

  While I fought with my demons and the anger simmering under my skin, my father went almost comatose. Single again after thirty-five years, he moved to Florida and was living out his existence not unlike a zombie.

  Time and time again, I promised myself I would stop trying with him... until the next time I picked up my phone. Not much different from how I was with Carrie, as if I were desperate, waiting to be patted on the head like a good doggie.

  “Let me know if you want to come to the FIS Championship in a few weeks; I can fly you out.” He wouldn’t; I knew that. I still had to offer, as I did every time I called.

  “Well, merry Christmas, Dad.” I couldn’t fight the bitterness in my voice. I rubbed my face, not finding anything more to say. “Yeah…uh... bye.” I hung up, knowing he was listening to every word, the phone next to his recliner, but still he wouldn’t pick up. Too wrapped up in his own misery. I wasn’t even worth him trying to live for, to pretend his love for me was enough.

  “Ahhhhh!” I chucked my mobile across the room where it bounced off the plush rug. Anger rushed up my throat, burning my tongue until I let a flurry of swear words rip across it. “Fuck you, Dad!” Actually, my “fuck you” list was a mile long: my mother, brother, Carrie, and even Hannah and Shaun. The last two didn’t deserve it, but I didn’t care. Disappointment and hurt clouded my head.

  The urge to rip the room apart and smash everything in sight throbbed in my fingertips. Violence and darkness clawed up my chest, my hands desperate to take my pain away by
destroying everything in my path. Too many times after a call to my father or a terrible day I had destroyed a hotel room or visited the bottom of a whiskey bottle. That shit needed to stop. I was only hurting myself and my bank account.

  I needed to get the hell out of here. If I wasn’t going to fuck some bunny into oblivion, I needed to do my other favorite thing.

  I marched to the door, fury boiling in my chest. Quickly, I tugged on a compression knee sleeve, and grabbed my board, gloves, hat, helmet, goggles, and jacket, and stomped out the door.

  The moment I stepped on my board and stared down the open hill, I felt a slight calm come over me. If it wasn’t already a holiday, this day would have any snow lover evoking the Powder day clause, and running for the slopes.

  Anger still thumped in my veins, but the snow always had a soothing effect on me similar to a sedative, which was a good thing because it was how I got through my dark times.

  Shifting myself forward, gravity tugged at my snowboard, releasing me to race down the terrain, the wind smacking into the exposed skin along my chin and cheeks. My chest vibrated with the glorious feeling that came over me when I rode. I loved the premade courses, but making one yourself, letting nature be your half-pipe, flipping off a snow-covered rock, was way more powerful.

  I made my way down, twisting, flipping, cutting, and dancing across the snow, letting the chilly air whisk the rage from me.

  Reaching the bottom, I slid my goggles up on my helmet, and peered back up. With an exalted sigh, my body hummed with energy. Gazing over the area, the park packed with people, my attention landed on another snowboarder coming down. From the distance I couldn’t tell if it was male or female, but the way the person moved, twirling off the rocks and maneuvering themselves over the land, I had no doubt the person was a professional.

  Shit. If it was Jesper, he had seriously improved, and I was royally screwed. My knee had healed, but the days I had missed training might set me back.

  I couldn’t look away, completely captured by the person’s style. It wasn’t long before I knew it wasn’t Jesper. I had known him too long, studied his runs, not to recognize his particular flair.

  This person, though their moves fluid, had a hitch in their leg when they came down, not able to get as low as others. It sure didn’t stop the person from shredding the mountain into tiny bits.

  My lids squinted, trying to get a better look. A girl. Definitely a girl. Now I could see her frame was tiny, her long dark hair flying behind her. But I still didn’t recognize her. And I knew the women snowboarders as well as the men. Actually better. I had slept with a lot of them.

  Enthralled by her, I openly stared as she sailed down, coasting in, stopping a dozen or so yards from me, my gaze sweeping up her body, taking in every curve, the color of her hair, the way she held herself. Her ass.

  Something tingled along my shoulders, as though my body recognized her before my mind did, not relating the girl in the server’s uniform to the girl before me.

  A punch hit my chest when I saw a grin grow on her lips, her gaze moving back up the hill as if she saw a long-lost lover.

  Holy hell. Hannah.

  Unbuckling one foot from the board, she pushed off, already skateboarding her way toward the lift again. Lost in her own world, she crossed in front of me, euphoria billowing off her. My breath snagged. I wanted nothing more in the world than to put that kind of joy on her face.

  “You lied to me.” My voice grew deep, desire taking over me. I thought I was done with her. Over it.

  Clearly I wasn’t.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Hannah

  Oh shit.

  “Wh-what?” I gulped. Like a rushing river, fear cascaded down my back, wobbling my legs.

  Did he know? Did he find out the truth? My thick jacket covered up the pounding of my heart.

  “You lied.” A devilish smirk hitched up his lip while he took meticulous steps toward me. My board stuck in place as he came within centimeters of me, his body looming over me so I had to crank back my neck to look in his face. “Or was it a miraculous recovery? I got a call that the delivery girl was deathly sick, leaving us to somehow survive on our own.”

  A whoosh of air left my lungs, my shoulders dropping. Right.

  “Miraculous.” I breathed out. His nearness was completely unnerving me, but similar to last night, I couldn’t seem to move away. “Snow has healing properties.”

  “I think I’ve heard something like that.” His mouth curved as if he were suppressing a grin, his intense scrutiny moving up and down my body. “You do look healthy. Vigorous exercise can do that.”

  I scoffed, my head shaking, feeling his double meaning.

  “But it’s not the only thing you lied to me about.” He closed the tiny space between us, his mouth hovering over mine.

  I gulped, heat pricking at me as though it was a game of pin the tail on the donkey. Move away, Hannah. Take a step back. I didn’t move a muscle.

  “You told me you had snowboarded but acted like it was no more than a little diversion.” His eyes went over my head to where I came down, then back to me. “What I saw up there…the tricks you were doing? That is anything but a hobby. You are a secret ripper.”

  “It wasn’t a lie.” I swallowed. Can he hear my heart trying to explode through my chest? “I just didn’t tell you.”

  His brow curved up.

  “Withholding isn’t technically lying. I don’t owe you anything.” That was a lie; I owed him a lot. Just not what he thought, and he had no idea how much.

  “So…tell me.” His breath slid down my ear. My lungs suddenly could not get enough oxygen, and desire swirled between my thighs. “Did you know who I was this whole time?”

  I did, but again not for reasons he might think.

  He grazed my ear, my breath catching. “Hmmm?” He leaned back, arms folded, head tipped to the side, expression going serious. “Are you a closet groupie, Hannah?” He gave me a wide-eye look, which hungrily wandered up and down my body again. “Am I going to have to get you some help? I’m sure there is a therapy group out there for worshiping me. Not that I see it as a problem, but I’ve heard it’s an epidemic.”

  A small laugh darted up my throat, and I shoved him. “Get over yourself.”

  “No, seriously. This might need closer examination. I might need to watch you overnight. Make sure you are okay.”

  Air streamed out in a guffaw as I shook my head. A smile pinned up my mouth so high it made my cheeks hurt. “How sweet of you.”

  “I know, right?” Humor danced in his eyes. “Such a giver.”

  “Is that what you think?”

  “No, it’s what they tell me.” He winked, bumping my shoulder as he passed. “If you stayed last night you could have found out for yourself. But I’ll be nice and give you another opportunity tonight.”

  Okay. Yes!

  No. No, Hannah. Stay far, far away from this one.

  “Come on, Jennings, I want you to show me some of your moves again.” He motioned with his head for me to follow him back to the lift. “Let’s try this friend’s thing.”

  A smile so big engulfed my face as I followed him. Nothing sounded better than spending the day freestyling with Rhys.

  Even the warning voice in my head was temporarily pushed off its podium.

  My limbs shook with fatigue, but the joy circling my heart had me wanting to go again. We came down a different way, landing us in a quiet part of the park overlooking the town of Whistler below. My entire body hummed with adrenaline. Never enough. To me, snowboarding was better than sex. Far better. At least compared to my past experiences.

  When Rhys stopped next to me, a grin thrust his cheeks up into pillows around his yellow-tinted goggles.

  Damn, he was hot. Way too hot for my own good. He should be wrapped in yellow caution tape with cones placed around him. A few times I found myself caressing every inch of his body with my eyes. He was dangerous, except I kept seeming to forget that, easi
ly chatting and joking all day with him.

  The sexual tension never died out, but today we talked like real friends, had fun together. Relaxed.

  He was an incredible snowboarder, but most of the time I had kept up with him. Some moves were a bit rusty; my old injuries didn’t let me perform as well as I liked. But comparable to riding a bike, they came back to me quickly.

  “You are fucking amazing. I can’t believe you kept this from me.” Rhys huffed, pushing up his goggles onto his helmet. He dropped his butt in the snow, patting the spot next to him as he unbuckled from his board. “Take a breather with me.”

  We’d been going for several hours straight, each time racing back up the hill as if we were kids on a slide.

  “Thanks. You are too.” I plopped down next to him, tugging the goggles onto my head and freeing my feet of my own board, taking in the view. The lowering sun spiraled the rays of light off the white snow similar to a kaleidoscope. A deep exhale relaxed the muscles along my shoulder. I would be sore tomorrow, but today I didn’t care. This had been exactly what I needed.

  We both stayed quiet for a while, watching the sun fall lower in the sky.

  “Thank you for today.” His voice startled me, jerking my head to him. He stared forward, a gravity clinging to his features. “You don’t know how much I needed this.”

  “Me too.”

  He went quiet again, his fingers picking absently at a thread on his jacket. I could sense dark clouds rolling into his head, churning thoughts in his head.

  “Damn,” he whispered. “He usually doesn’t get to me this much.”

  I took a deep breath, afraid to speak. It seemed as if he’d forgotten I was here, and my voice would break the sacred silence. I pulled my knees to my chest and waited.