Captivated by the Millionaire

by Nina Singh

  “What?”

  “And instead of trying to provide that, you’re trying to use me—no, you’re trying to buy me to provide those things as a substitute.”

  Jordan’s jaw clenched and his expression hardened. “Forget it, Jess. Forget I even mentioned it.”

  “Oh, no, you don’t. Much too late for that. The cat’s out of the bag already.”

  “Listen, I get it. I didn’t mean to overstep. You’re not ready to take any sort of step toward a career decision obviously. Not even for Sonya’s sake.”

  He may as well have picked her up and thrown her into the pool.

  “How dare you,” she said, unable to keep the angry tremor from her voice. “You know very well that I grew to love that sweet little girl right around the same time I fell in love with you!”

  She clapped a hand to her mouth before she could say any more. But it was too late. Jordan had heard enough. The loaded word now hung heavy in the air between them.

  Suddenly, she felt utterly deflated, completely weary. Why hadn’t she just left as soon as Sonya got out of the pool? Her heart would at least be in one piece right now, if somewhat wounded, if only she’d done just that. Instead, now it was completely in shatters. “What exactly is it that you want from me, Jordan? Can you just come out and say it?”

  “Damn it, Jess. I didn’t mean—”

  He didn’t get a chance to finish. For the second time that afternoon, Elise happened to interrupt them. She opened the screen door again and popped her head out.

  “Jess, any interest in staying for dinner? We’d love to have you.”

  Jess didn’t take her eyes off Jordan’s face when she answered. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  * * *

  Jordan could only watch Jess as she stormed past him. By the time she reached the side of the house she was at a near jog. She couldn’t wait to get away from him.

  “Please tell Sonya I had to leave and that I said goodbye,” she threw over her shoulder to Elise. The fury emanating off her could be felt even from this distance. What the hell had he done?

  Elise came to stand next to him and they both watched her leave. “What did I miss?” she asked.

  “Damned if I know.”

  “Any chance you would know if you’d been paying attention?”

  Jordan pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not sure what that means but I had an idea the other day that I decided to share with her.”

  “What kind of idea?”

  Jordan explained in general terms. He barely had time to finish before Elise whirled on him. “You did what?”

  “I don’t understand why my suggestion is so wrong.” The sound of Jess’s car door slamming echoed through the air from the driveway. “Why did it warrant that reaction?”

  But Elise didn’t answer, simply rubbed her fingers over her forehead. “Oh, Jordan. What are we to do with you?”

  * * *

  Jordan was still wondering about the answer to Elise’s question as he walked back onto the patio later that evening. He was on his second glass of wine but the alcohol wasn’t doing much to dull the feeling of restlessness deep within his chest. Sonya was in bed for the night. Elise was apparently done dealing with him. She’d barely spoken during and after dinner. Then she’d retired to her cottage two hours ago.

  Jess’s angry words resonated in his head. She’d said he had found a way to keep her at arm’s length while still close.

  Was that really what he’d been trying to do when he’d made his offer? Even in some small way?

  But that notion made no sense, regardless of what Jess thought his motives were. He would have tried to explain if she hadn’t stormed off the way she did. He’d simply seen how happy Sonya was to have Jess here. He’d seen the way Jess was genuinely invested in Sonya’s progress, the genuine affection in her eyes as she applauded his sisters efforts just this afternoon as she swam.

  And Jess seemed so uncertain about her own future path. He figured he could help her along. It all seemed to fall into place as far as he was concerned.

  Jordan swallowed another swig of the aged cabernet and cursed out loud. If there was even a possibility that he’d somehow used Jess’s affection for Sonya as any kind of leverage, even subconsciously, what did that say about him?

  He didn’t want to examine that question too closely.

  And there was also something else she’d said that he was trying not to examine. In her fury, she’d blurted out that she’d fallen in love with him. But surely she had to be exaggerating the sense of attraction she was feeling. Nothing more than that, he was certain. She didn’t know him well enough to be in love with him. Jess was confusing attraction and passion for love. He knew better. They may have been intimate in New York but their actions had been the result of an intense heat-of-the-moment passion where they’d both succumbed to desire.

  He thought about calling her. To try and explain. Maybe he should even go over there to her apartment to do so face-to-face. That idea was nixed in an instant. He couldn’t explain what he didn’t have the words for. Plus, there was a high probability she would slam the door in his face.

  No, it was better to just let the matter blow over. And to give her time to cool off. The next time he saw her, she’d be over the anger and perhaps then they could really talk.

  He couldn’t guess when that would be. With the community center shut down for days, what were the chances of randomly running into Jess even given the size of Martha’s Vineyard? Maybe it was better that way. They both needed to cool off for a bit. But he couldn’t stand the prospect of not seeing her smiling at him or hearing that melodic laugh of hers for days or maybe even weeks.

  Jordan stood and started to pace, sloshing some of the wine in the process. Such a waste but he could hardly bring himself to care. He didn’t even know what he wanted anymore. What had happened to him since moving out here?

  Wrong question. A more fitting one would be to ask what had happened to him since meeting her.

  He’d always prided himself on knowing exactly what he wanted and how to go about getting it. Even after life had thrown him a curveball in the form of a tiny little girl who had no one else, he made sure he had a purpose. But then Sonya’s accident had happened. Her hearing issues started immediately after. All his priorities shifted overnight. It didn’t make any kind of difference how many times the experts told him the two events were unrelated. The injuries Sonya had suffered were unlikely to have caused damage to even one ear, let alone both. The doctors had all been unanimous. At the most, they all agreed, the trauma might have triggered a genetic predisposition to a hearing impairment.

  On the surface that all made sense. But Jordan didn’t care.

  The accident had been his fault.

  Jess had no idea how unworthy of her love he really was.

  * * *

  Jess sat in front of her laptop staring into the dark screen. As much as she needed to talk to someone right now, she felt selfish for what she was thinking of doing.

  She moved her fingers over the keyboard to call up the contact option for the one person on earth who’d been there for her since they’d first met. Then she shut the laptop closed with a deep, resounding sigh. She couldn’t do it. Kelly had enough to deal with, between managing a demanding toddler and another infant due any day. Any minute perhaps. Kelly was that far along. Jess couldn’t bring herself to dump her own problems on her already overextended friend.

  She’d just sit here and nurse her wounds on her own with a pint of Bimby’s mocha chip. She’d stopped by for some on the way home from Jordan’s.

  She popped off the lid and reached for her spoon. But the ice cream could only do so much. She set it back down and lifted the laptop open once more. Would it really be so bad to video chat Kelly? After all, she should probably check on her anyway. Without giving herself a chance to back out, s
he hit the appropriate button. Kelly’s smiling yet clearly tired face appeared on the screen a moment later.

  “Hey, bff.”

  “Hey. Long time, no speak.”

  Kelly pointed to the screen. “Is that Bimby’s? Lordy, I miss that place.”

  “I’ll try to find a way to ship some to you.”

  Kelly patted her belly. “Baby and I would very much appreciate it if you started working on that immediately. What flavor have you got?”

  “Mocha chip.”

  Kelly drew back. “Uh-oh. I distinctly recall you only got that particular one when you were upset or angry. Or both.”

  Here was reason number thirty thousand why Kelly was her best friend. The woman knew her so well, down to which flavors went with her mood.

  Jess heard the wail of a small voice in the background.

  “I don’t want to keep you, Kelly. Your son sounds like he needs you.”

  “Well, it sounds like my dearest friend needs me, too. And my son happens to have another parent in there with him. So, fess up already. What’s got you so upset?”

  “You may find it all hard to believe.”

  Kelly gasped on the screen in front of her. “A man! Jessalyn Nadia Raffi, you’ve been holding out on me. You met someone?” she asked with an excited squeal. Then her eyes narrowed into a squint. “Wait. What did he do? Did he hurt you in any way? I’ll have to fly down and throttle him.”

  Jess laughed out loud, the first genuine hint of amusement she’d felt since leaving Jordan’s house this afternoon. “You don’t do a lot of web surfing or TV watching, do you?”

  Kelly actually snorted. “Are you kidding? If I have so much as a free minute, it’s to catch up on some much-needed sleep. Same with David. He’s really picked up a lot of the slack around here now that I’m too pregnant to move much. Why?”

  “He’s a good one, that David.”

  Kelly sighed. “Yes, I know. I’m lucky to have him.” True affection sounded in her voice.

  “He’s lucky to have you.”

  “I know that, too.” She leaned in closer to the monitor. “Hold on a minute. Are you saying I might have seen something about you if I’d been online recently?”

  Jess gave a shake of her head. “Never mind, it’s not important.”

  “Listen, bff, I want to know what’s going on with you. I miss you.”

  Jess felt the sudden sting of tears. “I miss you, too.”

  “Not to mention I’m in desperate need of some adult conversation that doesn’t revolve around toddler sleep patterns or Braxton-Hicks contractions.”

  “Well, I was going to ask you about those at some point.”

  Kelly shifted in her seat as if she couldn’t get comfortable. “Please don’t. Tell me what’s going on with you instead.”

  Jess sucked in a deep breath and began to relay the whole series of events, starting with her spontaneous decision to draw the castle on the wall. By the time she finished, she’d dabbed at her eyes more than once and was feeling completely spent. The telling felt like a release, a catharsis of sort. Kelly had done exactly what she’d needed her to do—she’d simply listened in silence. The slightest noise she’d made had been when Jess got to the part about Jordan’s offer. That was the part Jess had almost gotten too choked up to speak.

  “Oh, Jess. You’ve really fallen for him, haven’t you? Like head-over-heels fallen,” Kelly said, concern and empathy etched in her voice from thousands of miles away.

  Jess sniffled. “Is it that obvious?”

  “I’m afraid so. I’ve never seen you so worked up over a man before. Not even that bore Gary.”

  Well, that certainly was an apt way to describe things. Every time she saw Jordan she came away from the encounter worked up in one way or another.

  “There are clearly things he’s not saying to you, honey. Things he hasn’t even admitted to himself.”

  “To be fair, he never led me on, Kelly. In fact, he made sure I knew exactly where he stood.”

  Kelly responded with a sympathetic nod. “Give him points for being up-front, I guess.”

  Jess rubbed a shaky hand down her face. “If only he was being as direct with himself.”

  Her friend leaned farther into the screen. “I guess he needs time. To adjust and somehow find a way to forgive himself and also to figure out how to be the parent that his sister needs. So I need to ask you something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Are you willing to wait for him? At least for a while. I mean, no one would suggest you wait forever.”

  Jess didn’t answer out loud. But deep inside she knew. She’d known since that first day when she’d been covered in paint and dressed in farmer’s overalls and Jordan had walked into the room startling her. When she’d first laid eyes on him.

  “Your silence tells me a great deal,” Kelly continued. “So just one more question.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Why haven’t you told him so yet? That you’re willing to wait for him?”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  JESS WAS STILL thinking about her friend’s question as she poured her third cup of coffee the next morning. After a restless night spent tossing and turning, she hadn’t gotten any kind of real sleep. Since getting out of bed, she’d tried to take her mind off the events of yesterday by attempting about twelve different sketches. None of her ideas seemed to hold her interest for much longer than a few minutes before she tore off each sheet and crumpled it into a ball. Maybe she’d never want to draw another thing for the rest of her life. That possibility seemed quite feasible at this point.

  Why haven’t you told him so yet?

  Kelly’s words echoed through her mind. On the surface it seemed such a simple query. But could she do it? Could Jess open herself any further and risk exposing her heart to any more pain?

  The answer came in the form of yet another question: Would she ever forgive herself if she didn’t take the chance?

  Every moment she’d spent with Jordan was vividly ingrained in her memory. Everything that had happened between them in Manhattan would be forever etched in her brain.

  Suddenly, Jess knew exactly what she wanted to create. She pulled the sketch pad back out and flipped it to a fresh page. Then she began to draw.

  * * *

  This was probably a mistake.

  Jordan nearly turned away from Jess’s door without knocking. The last time he’d given her a bouquet seemed like ages ago. In that instance she’d promptly informed him that he’d overdone it.

  The bouquet he held today was much less extravagant. A simple bundle of pink roses. He probably should have had them delivered by the florist rather than showing up at her apartment himself. But he wanted to see her in person.

  Without allowing any more thought, he rapped lightly on the door, which opened within moments. A very surprised Jess stood on the other side.

  “Jordan?”

  “Hey. Hope I’m not intruding.”

  She gave her head a small shake. “What are you doing here?” Her gaze dropped to the roses he held in his hand. “More flowers?”

  “Apology roses this time. Just one solitary bouquet.”

  She stepped to the side and gestured with her arm. “Please, come in.”

  He handed her the roses as he passed by.

  “They’re lovely,” she said and inhaled deeply of the floral scent. “I’ll just put these in water.”

  When she returned a few moments later, Jordan was still debating exactly what he wanted to say and how he might say it.

  They’d had such an easy camaraderie during the trip to New York City. They’d spent the night locked in each other’s arms as close as two people can be. Yet, now here he was, at a loss for words.

  “You’re going to make Ray down at the nursery very happy and wealthy if
you keep apologizing with flowers.” She set the vase down on a wooden side table and came to stand before him.

  “He mentioned the pink roses were very popular.”

  Jess merely nodded with a tight smile. Jordan resisted the urge to swear out loud. The conversation between them was so strained, so unnatural. He knew every inch of her body, but he didn’t know how to talk to her.

  He had to try. And he had to start with the very subject he’d been trying to avoid. Jordan cleared his throat.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. That Sonya needs my time and attention.” He released a deep sigh, unsure exactly how to continue. “It occurs to me that I can’t really provide her with those things until I face what happened.”

  He wasn’t surprised when she guessed immediately what he was referring to. “Jordan, you have to forgive yourself. Sonya’s hearing loss is not your fault.”

  He couldn’t help himself. He had to touch her. Putting his hands on her waist he pulled her closer, rested his forehead against hers. “I might need some help with that.”

  He felt her exhale in his arms. The scent of her surrounded him, her warmth as comforting as a lazy summer morning. “What kind of help?” she asked.

  Jordan grasped for just the right words. Pulling back slightly, he focused on those bright hazel eyes he’d grown so fond of. “I’ve realized I need you by my side as I come to terms with it all.”

  “You have?” she asked on a stutter.

  “Without a doubt. Don’t you see, Jess?”

  She sucked in her bottom lip and he almost lost focus. “See what?”

  “You’re the reason I want to try.”

  Shock widened her eyes. “I am?”

  “Yes. I want you to be there to see that I can handle raising a little girl. That I have what it takes to be a strong figure in her life. I’ll never be her father, but I can be the parental figure she needs. Until you came along, I wasn’t sure I was up to the challenge. I’d convinced myself that I’d already failed beyond redemption.”