The Gift of Happiness

by Amanda Carpenter

  Left to her own devices for the moment, she headed for the bathroom after a bit of inspection, and ruthlessly splashed cold water on her face in an attempt to put some color into her cheeks.

  As she turned to leave the little bathroom she found Luke propping up the doorway.

  “Hello,” she said calmly. Her face was serious, but her eyes smiled just a little at him, and his own softened into a twinkle in response. “I was beginning to wonder where you were. You move very quietly, don’t you?”

  “A habit,” he admitted, “that makes Jana shriek! Are you feeling up to coming downstairs and meeting Marian and the menagerie? At last count, I believe that there were three cats and a dog in temporary residence in the kitchen. Jana names every one of them, but I can never keep them straight. There’s also coffee brewed, I think.”

  “Coffee sounds nice,” she admitted politely, and gave a wry chuckle that sounded unamused. “I’m sure that my cup of coffee is still sitting in James’s study, unnoticed for the moment and quite cold! I didn’t have a chance to finish it, as things turned out.”

  “Well,” Luke commented mildly, “we won’t think about that now, if you’d rather not. I for one would like to put some distance between myself and that unpleasant interlude.”

  He took her arm gently and walked with her to the door. Now that her mind was on the subject, she asked him a little stiltedly, “Did you hit him? I got the impression that you had, although you didn’t mention anything. I—if you’d rather not tell me,” she faltered, seeing his face with a curiously implacable expression, “we can talk about something else…”

  “And having you dwelling on it in silence anyway?” he replied, shaking his head. The look faded as he stared down into her eyes, and he smiled faintly. “I think we should say just a bit about the subject, to clear the air. But after a little talk, we are both going to put the whole incident out of our minds, and think of nothing else but kittens and dogs and lunch for you, and work for me, for the rest of the day! Tonight will be soon enough to talk about other things.”

  At the head of the stairs, he prompted her to sit down beside him on the first step. After a hesitation, he said abruptly, “I did hit him—rather hard—but I waited until he tried to hit me first. I won’t apologize; he had been damnably cruel to you as you walked out of the door, and I—”

  “I hope,” said Katherine deliberately, watching Luke as he sat with hands loosely laced between his knees and face turned away, “that you at least managed to give him a black eye.” His head shot round and he stared at her with blackly snapping eyes that were beginning to show amusement. “And I would be quite pleased if you had been able to knock him down, although I quite understand if you didn’t. He is a big man, isn’t he?” She met Luke’s eyes with complete composure.

  “As a matter of fact,” he acknowledged modestly, “James was spilled all over the bottom of the staircase, but, well, I didn’t mean to boast about it. If I might say so, it was a rather neatly thrown shot.” Green eyes met dark gray ones in perfect understanding.

  “Serves him right,” she agreed. “He is the one that gave me this memento, you know.” She touched her cheek. “I’m much obliged to you. I would have never been able to hit him, myself.”

  “Only too happy to be of service. I had suspected as much. The punch I threw at him afforded me a great deal of satisfaction.” He sat for some few minutes brooding over that satisfaction.

  “Honestly, Luke.” A laughingly exasperated voice sounded at the bottom of the staircase and made both Katherine and the subject thus addressed look enquiringly below them. “Marian is positively miffed at the pair of you! She’s quite sure that you mean to avoid her, and I know that we won’t get a decent meal out of her for days if she’s in a huff! Now get down here, both of you, and come and have some breakfast before she hands in her notice!”

  Luke threw back his head and laughed heartily at this, and Katherine’s face lightened also. After watching the two stand up and start down the stairs again, Jana headed back to the kitchen with a swish of her brilliant skirts, while a smile teased her lips.

  The roomy kitchen was warm with various wriggling bodies below the knee, and alight with a hospitable glow. The deliciously tantalizing smell of hot coffee pervaded the air, along with the sizzling sound of bacon frying fragrantly and toasting bread. Katherine was assailed with sharp yaps from a frantic pup that managed to get tangled up between her ankles and the pangs of hunger. She stumbled over the eager little body and, in an attempt to avoid a huge calico monster of a cat, pitched forward in what was an unavoidable fall. Two swift hands reached out from behind and grabbed her, yanking her upright.

  “Okay?” he asked easily, before he relinquished his hold on her shoulders. She nodded, watching the antics of the little animals with no small degree of amusement.

  Turning to glance at him with sparkling eyes, she asked, “So, not only are you very light on your feet, you’re also extremely swift? Should I, I wonder, begin to pity my father after all?”

  “Hush, child,” he murmured, “you don’t know what you say.” He looked beyond Katherine, and his face lightened into a teasing expression. “Ah, Marian, my love! I hear you’re feeling sorely neglected today. Here,” and he planted a hearty kiss on a thin, wrinkled cheek, “a peace offering, for the good of our future meals! Come meet my Katie and say you like her.” The last words put Katherine in a whirl of confusion.

  Bright eyes set in a wrinkled face, under a shocking mass of red hair, met Katherine’s for a long moment. She raised her eyebrows after a bit; Katherine could have sworn that she had seen mischief in those merry eyes. “‘She was the fairest creature in the world; and yet she is inferior to none’.” A voice, dry like autumn leaves that are tossed in the wind and sounding every bit as merry as the eyes looked, startled Katherine considerably. Looking into her astonished face, Marian murmured, “What an uncomfortable-looking bruise, my dear. That was The Taming of the Shrew, some time before the first act, in the first or second scene in the Induction, but where I haven’t the foggiest.” The mischievous face turned to Luke’s choking countenance. “Don’t you think it appropriate for a Kate, my dear, and a pretty one at that?”

  “Oh, to be sure,” he was hasty to agree. He chuckled at the expression on Katherine’s face. “Marian,” he explained, “is an avid reader of Shakespeare, among other things.”

  “Marian,” intervened Jana sarcastically, “is an avid reader of anything. Come and sit down, Katherine, over here. Would you like cream or sugar in your coffee?”

  “Cream, please,” she murmured, feeling dazed. She allowed herself to be led to a chair.

  Very soon, a steaming plate filled with bacon, toast and eggs was set before her bemused face. To her own surprise, she managed to clear the lot. Laughing chatter accompanied the meal as Jana, Luke and even Marian sat down to breakfast also. Marian sent a wicked grin her way when she raised her eyebrows in surprise at the old woman calmly seating herself with her two employers. She said nothing, however, and merely grinned back as she forked a piece of scrambled egg into her mouth. She was content just to sit and listen to the banter that flew back and forth from one to the other. Luke teased the women unmercifully, and they laughingly retorted back. The meal was the most relaxed and amusing breakfast she had ever attended.

  She was feeling exhausted at the end, and unaccountably depressed. A fresh cup of coffee sat in front of her and she stirred it automatically, as she stared into its murky depths. The weight of the future and the burden of the present were again upon her, and her shoulders bowed in dejection under the load.

  “Hey,” a quiet voice broke into her thoughts. She glanced at Luke enquiringly and the sight of his lean face with the angular cheekbones and the thin hollows underneath, the firm jaw and determined lips and those marvelous eyes struck her anew. He reached out one strong hand and clasped her two smaller ones, covering both completely and squeezing hard. She tried to smile at him, but it was a dismal failure and to
her horror her eyes filled with tears. She looked away, blinking rapidly.

  “It’s okay to cry,” he said gently. The two women had gotten up and, with various muttered excuses, had left a few minutes before. Katherine tried to find within herself some semblance of pride to keep from giving in to the humiliating tears, but she found herself with a face streaked with wetness as she held her shoulders rigid in an attempt to gain control. A chair scraped, and a strong arm came round her stiff shoulders. Giving up the battle, she turned her face into Luke’s sweater and clung to his strength. Another arm slid under her knees and she was lifted onto his lap and held tightly. She was silent, determined not to make a sound and embarrass herself further by letting the two women hear her sobs, but the force of her stormy tears shook her body like a tree shuddering in the wind. After a time, she was able to relax her rigidity and curve her body more to him. An occasional tear would slide down her cheek, and these were wiped away with a gentle finger by Luke.

  He began to talk to her about commonplace things. He told her that he was going to come home early and talk to her, and that she would have a nice, relaxing day to do whatever she wanted to do. “Don’t hesitate to go to bed, if that’s what you want,” he told her. “It would be understandable, considering how little sleep you’ve had in the past two nights. And whatever you do today, don’t think about the future. Just read, or perhaps watch television, and don’t feel you have to keep Jana and Marian company. I want you to feel you can take a little vacation, if you like, and not do much of anything until we all get reoriented. What do you like to read?”

  She was able to answer him by then, and replied, “I—it really depends on what you have, but I like a lot of things. A good suspense, or romance, or mystery. I usually read something light.”

  He set her on her feet. “Let’s go and see what we can find, shall we?” A trip to the library found several paperback books that she declared an interest in, and Luke tucked them under his arm. “I’ll take these up to your room, so that you have them when you want them. Do you want one for now? Or did you want to do anything else today?”

  She shrugged, her eyes averted. All her self-respect was gone, her pride sadly damaged. She had never cried before in front of another person, and she seemed to be crying all the time when she was with Luke.

  “Well,” he said after a moment, “I’m sure you’ll find plenty to keep yourself occupied with.” There was a pause as he glanced at his wristwatch, but she didn’t notice since she was too busy not looking at him. “Now, I’m afraid I’ve really got to run and change for work.” He hesitated. “Do you think you’ll be all right?”

  Her head snapped up at that, like a puppet’s head jerked by a string. “Of course,” she said with dignity, almost coldly. His eyes became unreadable as he stared into her too-bright eyes, and he nodded.

  “I didn’t have any doubts about that.” He smiled at her quizzically. “I’m going to run, then,” he said, and bent his head toward her a fraction. But, apparently changing his mind, he squeezed her arm gently before walking briskly out of the library. She sank into a deep armchair, feeling as if her legs had turned to noodles, and stared into space for a long time after he left.

  Chapter Five

  As Katherine opened the book that she was neither interested in nor that she expected to read, she let her thoughts wander where they would. She didn’t have much of an opinion of herself at the moment. She didn’t have much of an opinion of life, either. A heavy apathy settled over her like a dark cloak.

  After a time, a sinuously graceful body slunk into the room and casually strolled toward her, tail held imperiously high and large yellow eyes blinking. Matilda the monster leapt onto Katherine’s lap and settled graciously, giving after a moment a rough-sounding purr. At this she had to smile, and she rubbed the pleased cat behind the ears. She thought sadly of her little pony, Misty, whom she couldn’t help but feel she’d abandoned. She wondered if James had really held true to his threat. She didn’t doubt it: he always had in the past. The pony was probably dead by now, and she felt like a murderer. What else could she have done, though? Misty had lived out a good life, whereas she was just barely starting hers. Should she have stayed just a little while longer? Would she have survived any more of her father’s cruelty?

  And so was the first morning of Katherine’s liberation spent, brooding over the past and bringing up old grievances. Freedom was no different from oppression, she reflected with a bitter twist of her lips. It was all one and the same to her.

  Going into the kitchen, she searched around and found a small kettle, and after filling it at the tap, she set it on a burner. She sat and waited for the water to boil, after locating some instant coffee. Soon she was heading up to her room with a steaming cup. She locked the door behind her. A strange feeling invaded her limbs, a feeling of heaviness. Her head was throbbing painfully and irritatingly, and her eyes felt strained. After stripping off her sweater, she curled on the bed with her hot drink and sipped it lethargically. When she had finished it, she set the empty cup on the floor, stretched out on the soft, strange bed and drifted off almost immediately.

  When she woke up she felt awful. A dull headache was throbbing in the back of her eyes, and she was much too hot, with a dry feeling in her mouth. She stumbled out of bed and stripped off her clothes. Then, turning on the cold water in the shower, she stepped in, gasping in shock at the stinging spray that hit her overheated back. After a few minutes she was hopping out with a shiver and drying off as fast as she could. She dressed again, wearing the same jeans but putting on a different top, and she pinned her damp hair up in a simple knot off her neck. Checking the bedside clock, she found that it was three in the afternoon, and she hurried downstairs with her empty cup dangling in one hand.

  A delicious smell hit her as she entered the cozily warm kitchen. Jana was up to her elbows in flour, her hair untidily pulled back in a ponytail that, in spite of the two gray streaks winging away at her temples, made her look absurdly young. Marian was checking something in the oven, her frizzy red hair sticking out in all directions. She was wearing a frilled apron that tied at the back. Both women looked round as the kitchen door swung open, admitting Katherine.

  “Mind the animals,” warned Marian automatically, and Katherine slipped quickly through the door, letting it shut behind her.

  Jana surveyed her face with approval. “Much as I’m sorry that you missed lunch with us, I have to admit that you look a good deal better,” she said, crinkling her eyes in a friendly grin.

  “I felt pretty bad when I woke up,” she said lightly, as she slipped into a chair by the table. “I hardly ever sleep during the day. But after stepping into the ice-cold shower I had, I do feel better. I’m sorry about missing lunch.”

  “Oh, don’t be,” Jana reassured her. “Never feel you have to sit down at any of our meals unless you want to. I must say, though, you missed a good meal! Marian fixed lasagna.”

  “There’s still some left, if you would like it reheated,” Marian offered thoughtfully, closing the door with a bang.

  She declined, saying that she thought she might take a walk, if they thought it wouldn’t rain. Both women looked out of the kitchen window at the dull gray sky. “I don’t think it will,” said Jana with obvious doubt.

  “It doesn’t matter if it does,” Marian told her. “Just take my raincoat and go out. I do, all the time. It has a hood and will keep you quite dry.”

  “I think I will,” she said. “A walk in the rain sounds inviting.” She thanked Marian seriously, and took the raincoat off its peg, slipping it on. Going out of the back door, she told them not to expect her back at any certain time.

  Outside, she took stock of her surroundings, and started toward a large clump of trees some distance to her left. The gray day quieted her mood. When a few large drops of wetness slopped on her bare head, she found the hood with one hand, reached back and put it up about her face. When she reached the trees she found a narrow footpath tha
t she started following. It led through the thickest area of trees, into a shadowy thicket where a little of the rain reached her with big, plopping drops.

  After a time she thought that maybe she should go back to the house, and she did so reluctantly, not wanting to face the kindness of the two women or Luke’s homecoming. When she again opened the back door, she was thoroughly drenched, almost to her waist from the water that had dripped down the neckline of the carelessly worn raincoat. Fresh cookies were cooling on the long counter by the kitchen sink, and the smell of baking bread wafted to her flared nostrils. Marian sat at the table with a cup in front of her and a book propped in her hands. At the dripping sight of Katherine, she exclaimed and dropped the book to hurry forward.

  “Why, you silly girl! Whatever possessed you to let yourself get so wet on a cold day like today?” she scolded, thrusting her hands quickly past Katherine’s fumbling ones and unbuttoning the coat herself. “Here, sit down and take out these pins! Jana, would you get a towel?” The last was yelled down the hall, and Katherine heard quick footsteps and a ready reply. “I’m going to make you a hot drink! What do you like—do you like tea?”

  “Look,” she said helplessly, her wet hair dangling thinly down her soaked back. “This isn’t really necessary, you know. I can just run upstairs and—”