Journey to Empowerment
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Dearest friends and family,
What a glorious day; what a glorious season. The perfect time to celebrate…you, me, our voices, and our Divinity.
In the midst of our busy lives, God whispers a reminder for us to stop, breathe, and embrace our Inner Sight. I so desire for us to walk with our heads held high and our wings fully spanned, lighting the world with greater clarity and authenticity.
Thank you for helping me propel life and substance into this work of art and heart. Thank you for your love and compassion, and for allowing Journey to Empowerment to touch your soul. And be sure to spread the word about the other two books in this empowering series; Journey to a Blissful Life, and the upcoming one, Journey Into My Brother’s Soul.
Also a heartfelt thank you for reaching out and carrying forward the life-force of African American Women on Tour’s cozy global village.
With respect and gratitude,
Maria
Journey to Empowerment
Maria D. Dowd
This book is dedicated to my daughters, Janelle and Lauren, and to my mother “Miss Lula” for faithfully and lovingly serving in the capacity of keeping it real. Oh, how interesting the relationships between mothers and daughters can be. They take on dynamic lives of their own, as we try so hard to “not be like,” yet through our journeys of self-awareness and rediscovery—and in our heart of hearts—we smile and thank God for our common denominators, as well as for the lessons taught, hard as some may be to swallow. And, I’m not just talking about mother-to-daughter lessons, but also those more gripping daughter-to-mother ones. Yes, my darlings Janellipooh and Ladybug, this is a tribute to the both of you.
I also want to acknowledge and thank the brother-and sister-friends who have journeyed along with me, leaving extraordinary marks on my many lives and my Spirit—Brook, Chris, Dave, Donovan, Emily, Everett, Jamaal, Jan, Lyndon, Sis. Mary, Mutima, Nadine, Rhonda, Daddy Richard, Renee, Sandra, Sarah, Steve (especially for resurrecting my computer on this final deadline night!)…and, my beloved grandparents for paving the way. Tremendous hugs to the twenty thousand sistahs who supported African American Women on Tour over the past thirteen years. Each of you, my earth angels, has shown up at just the right time with just the right blessing…and wingspan. Thank you for your love, genius, support and guidance. And, Astämari Batekun, you’ll forever dwell in my heart space. Jah love, light, and blessings. Hashima.
Finally, I thank God for bestowing upon me such awe-inspiring gifts and the capacity to bring them to fruition.
Contents
Introduction
Journey to Community and Connectedness
The Purpose Posse: Set on Due Course
Purpose Posse
The State of Grace
Our Spirits Are Inextricably Entwined
The Oneness of All
Opening to Spirit
Healing Images
Big Shoes and Pink Halos
Building Bridges
Journey to Self-Awareness
Silent Cry for Love
Mama Was a Magician
Music to Our Ears, Lyrics for Our Creative Soul
Cultural Shock
The Dark Night of My Soul Journey
Completely Out of the Box: A Love Poem
What I Weigh Is Not Who I Am
Passionate and Purposeful Living
A Season of Reinvention
I Looked into Her Eyes
Journey to Womanhood
In Honor of Our Elders: Wisdom Along the Way
Call to Ritual
Shall We, My Sweet?
Plights of Passage
Ivy Reid
Star Angel
Queen Mother
Writing Ourselves Back to Strength: Part II
The Day I Told the Truth
She Sings
Mine Own
Heavenly Body
Menopause/Womenopause
Coming Next Month
Introduction
Journey to Empowerment offers readers a miscellany of life-transforming experiences and contemplations. It is a key that will hopefully unlock, touch, and liberate our spirits. Through the reflections of others who’ve walked in our shoes, I truly hope that you’ll sashay into a brighter, more lighthearted place.
Journey to Empowerment would not be if not for the holy boldness of my collaborators who have generously bared their souls and truths with the world. I know it took wrestling with emotions and deep breaths to step out and share their moments of reckoning. As I read and pondered, I felt it; as I’m sure you will, too.
The added value of Journey to Empowerment is the unconditional permission that has been granted for your Spirit to speak its mind and move those thoughts into words. It’s your turn. Yes, within these pages you have unbridled permission to dream, journal, and mindlessly doodle…outside of the box of everyday existence. Write to clear your mind so that the heart can hear the truth and see the vision more clearly. In that quiet time and space, write and write…from the depths of your being. Don’t mull over structure, grammar, or political correctness. Shake up your soul and revere in the enlightening experience. You may use the journal prompts provided, or you may not. Just do what YOUR heart desires. Allow your thoughts to flow, then bask. Permission granted. And, who knows. Your writings just may be the innards of our next Journey to Empowerment chapter.
…Contemplate quietly,
…Thank prayerfully,
…Dream outrageously,
…Speak honestly,
…Process freely,
…Act courageously,
…Heal wholly,
…And live abundantly.
With love and laughter,
Maria
Journey to Community and Connectedness
No matter where we have been on our
Individual journeys on this earth or
Where we are going, We are One.
—Mary-Frances Winters
The Purpose Posse: Set on Due Course
BY MARIA DENISE DOWD
Our vessel is graced with tireless souls.
Determined in this soliloquy of life,
To stay on due course for the North Star.
Our collective energies crescendo,
In a sea-foam green kind of way.
Each season East meets West,
South heads North.
In b’twixt and b’tween, we stay on path.
While the high seas are rapturous,
They soon become tranquil.
Tropical, then cool; still, then breezy.
Through locks and twists, curls and waves,
Our passion engulfs us in the sweetness
Of the grassroots cause and the empowering
effects.
The navigator is on board, and so are the shipmates.
Collectively we set sail…on due course.
Purpose Posse
BY MARIA DENISE DOWD
Once upon a time, I heard the term “Purpose Posse.” Bertice Berry used it and it became a permanent part of my “people meditations.” Those two words rang a chime in my head at a time when it was dizzy with fighting what I already knew in my heart. I had allowed too many of the wrong people into my space and they were wreaking havoc on my legs and my legacy. I was in a place where I was chasing after and running from, and getting nowhere fast. I had finally come to a realization—and goodness was it painful—that this absolutely crazy time and place was a direct reflection of my ill-fated attempt to sail my ship in a direction that I knew wasn’t right for me. My Spirit had leaks and those holes rendered my ability to listen to God’s whispers impossible.
The comings and goings of men and women in our lives are not by random selection. The right people
come into our lives at very specific times, for very specific reasons, as do the wrong people, if for no other reason than to prompt our internal Soul Purpose device and to nudge—or smack—us back onto our Divine-right path. The wrong people teach us one valuable lesson—discernment. And the truest test is on high seas. Who helps us sail through calm and stormy weather and uncharted courses? Who is there for the long haul, and who abandons us at the next port? Who feels like excess baggage? Who attempts to persuade us to debark before we’ve completed our journey? Who is so fear-filled they take f light or fight us to veer South, when our internal compass points North? Too often in our lives, we give rebels, pirates and other mutinous spirits permission to embark. And then we’re forced to pay handsome ransoms for our liberation, our peace of mind.
Aside from that brief moment of insanity, my life continues to be blessed with many adoring, brilliant, innovative, authentic men and women who step onboard my vessel, bearing distinctive domestic and imported blends of soul-soothing and spirit-raising gifts. You know you’re on purpose and with your Divine-right Purpose Posse when your heart is calm and your mind rides the waves with ease and grace. You know it because you feel it. And, you feel it because you’ve sealed the leaks and have allowed Spirit to guide you. Even when our “humanness” surfaces and rears its “oogly” side, we’re there when our hearts remain open, loving, forgiving, insightful and faith-filled. Take a look around and take stock of the company you keep.
Keepers of Compassion wrap a thousand arms and thousand hearts around yours and understand from where you come, even when you don’t understand yourself.
Keepers of Manhood are our brothers, fathers, uncles and grandfathers who call for discipline, respect and commitment to upholding family. They teach our boys and remind our men.
Keepers of Womanhood are our sisters, mothers, aunties and grandmothers who call for responsibility, nurturing and commitment to sustaining family. They teach our daughters and remind us.
Keepers of Spirituality and Healing Arts lay hands and help us to realign mind with body with spirit.
Keepers of the Compass are our logicians, our voices of reasoning and grounding. They check in to ensure that all things are on due course and according to schedule.
Keepers of the Rig and Cargo help to keep our cupboards stocked, our bodies able and our environment safe and sound from encroaching winds and water.
Keepers of Codes of Conduct remind us of our relationship with the universe, and with the laws of nature and humankind. And they hold court when duty calls.
Keepers of Remembrance and Insight are our conjuring storytellers and translators who “just know” of things past and how they shape things present and future.
Keepers of Commerce are the business minds who bring about the checks and balances in our lives.
Keepers of the Cozy bring us warmth, softness and nurturing. They grab hold and hug for no apparent reason. Then again, they always come at just the right moment. Always.
Keepers of the Chronicles are our lives’ missionaries and journalists who silently follow our progress and keep us in their prayers and meditations.
Keepers of the Assist are the “extra” hands on deck. They are our enthusiastic comrades who help get the job, large or small, done. They are the “just doers.”
Keepers of the Flame stand ready at the pilot light. They turn it up and bring it down…euphorically.
All are Keepers of our Lighthouses. They are our beacons, our sentinels, our heavenly and earthly angels who wave the lantern and help to guide our way…on due course.
* * *
A family is much more than folks connected by blood. They are the people whom we can depend on to make us laugh, soothe our hurts and keep us focused. They also enter our lives at different phases of our journey. My extended family is…
* * *
Use the past to understand the circumstance, not to predict the future.
—Robin Johnson
The State of Grace
BY SOBONFU SOME
Let me begin by sharing some thoughts about the state of grace itself, about what people mean when they describe a person as living in a state of grace, and make a few observations about the expectation many people have that life will be, or ought to be, wonderful.
The state of grace is that holy and contented way of being that each of us strives for. It is that state, auspicious in the spiritual realm, in which we work out all our difficulties with care, and function peacefully in connection with other people in the f low of life. It involves progress in accomplishing the purpose for which we were born into the world, in a way that is pleasing to those around us. It is a state of devotion and integrity, of living harmoniously, of being looked at, not as someone who is perfect, but as someone whom others trust and respect. It implies a certain level of healthiness and psychological well-being.
The state of grace is not the same as success in any measurable way, nor is it reflected in social status. It is not determined by how much we resemble those whom many people admire. In fact, the person who has arrived at this state may not even be conscious of it.
Each of us passes in and out of this state many times in our life. This is a universal human experience. As we fall out of grace it looks and feels to us as if we are failing. Indeed, we call it “failure”; a part of us dies. But this is the process by which we make space for the birth of something new, something more true to ourselves.
Something needs to be broken in order for a new state of grace to be born. It is the natural cycle of our spirit. In this way, we are born and die many times in life before we eventually return to the land of the ancestors. If we are going to achieve our purpose in life, we must be willing to fall out of grace and accept its lessons. When we feel righteous about ourselves, or deny our brokenness, we are fighting against the higher states of grace that await us.
Failure is built into grace. You cannot have one without the other. It’s like two sides of a single coin. Everyone who has achieved a state of grace is certain at some point to fall, and to have fallen many times before. Every successful person, everyone you respect, will tell you that they have mountains of failure behind them.
Dealing with reversals is much easier in my village than it is here in the West. In the village you have people who are concerned about you and support you, knowing that their own happiness is dependent upon you. They also understand that failures are life-giving, that they are the engines of wisdom. Failures, they say there, come to show you that you are stagnant or wandering or that you have work to do.
Here is something I have been taught, and which I have had to learn over and over again through experience: To fall out of grace is a gift, one of the greatest gifts that one receives in life.
When we are in grace, we begin to take things for granted and we actually stop working on ourselves. Falling out of grace shakes us up. It reconnects us to the larger universe in order for us to see ourselves anew. It forces us to rediscover where our true center begins, and to learn what needs to be set aside.
Day by day, we work to maintain our state of grace. We do so not only as individuals, but also as a part of several interconnected circles of support. When we fail, the work of coming back into grace is something we cannot accomplish by ourselves; it requires the participation of others.
The cosmos, the universe, is the largest circle to which we belong. This is the realm of Spirit, of goddesses and gods, of our ancestors. The next circle comprises the planet we live on, Earth. This is the place of air, water, fire, soil, stones and trees. Then comes our country and culture. Nearer to us is the circle of community, the friends and coworkers and others with whom we share our daily life. Our extended family makes up the next smaller circle, including our parents, children, brothers, sisters, uncles, and so forth. Lastly, I think of the circle of intimacy, which we share with a spouse or partner.
The role of all these different circles is to hold us in a certain place, in a certain way, so that we can flou
rish. When we are in a perfect state of grace, all these rings are functioning to support us, and even if one of these rings fails us, as they always do at some point, we have the others helping us. Our well-being can continue. It is when several of these circles, especially those closest to us, start to break, that we experience a fall from grace. As they fall apart, we can be left feeling entirely alone and abandoned. We are no longer able to bring our gifts forward.
The struggles we experience at different stages of our lives are mechanisms built into us that help us rise to a better place. They are invitations for us to appreciate life, to appreciate the good things left behind, to acknowledge the sources of our disappointment, and then to let go altogether in order to come back to grace. They rekindle the acceptance of self, of others, of the past and present, and they offer us the animating experience of being welcomed home and re-embraced by the community.
For people in the village—and many other communities around the world, for that matter—it is a given that as an individual falls out of grace, so will the other members of the community because of our reliance on one another. Indigenous communities also know that, for the community to keep in touch with Spirit, this fall and rebirth of its members has to happen. Hence they push one another to take on new roles, to become adults, to become elders, or even to face death. They encourage one another to be swallowed by light, to let go of whatever comfort they are hanging on to and see that it is inadequate not to grow.