Flunked

by Jen Calonita

  Kayla waves her hand. “I was caught using fairy magic for personal gain, and my family got all bent out of shape about it.” She rolls her eyes. “Is there anything wrong with wanting the baker’s son to have a crush on you? I think not!”

  “You’re a fairy?” I can’t help but be skeptical. “I thought fairies were tiny.”

  Kayla fiddles with one of her oversized amber earrings, which match her eyes. “We can be tiny when we need to be, but I’m not supposed to fly ’til I’m twenty-one, so I usually stay normal size.” She rolls her eyes. “My mother is a stickler about the flying early thing, which is why she was peeved when she caught me flying over Royal Manor. I was already grounded for casting a spell on my sister that made her nose as big as her face. My aunt was able to fix it…eventually.” Kayla looks at a portrait on the wall and sighs. “After that, Mother said I was a hazard to everyone around me so she had me committed at FTRS. I’ve been here for a while now with no parole in sight. That’s why I keep flying. Why stop?”

  “I thought you could leave whenever your transformation was complete,” I say.

  Kayla purses her lips. “That’s what they tell people, but.…”

  I try not to let her answer ruffle me. “So how is it?”

  The dungeons rumor. Tell me there are no dungeons. Or whips.

  “Honestly? It’s not bad as schools go. The dungeon is never used,” Kayla tells me. Maybe she has ESP. “And we are not chained to the walls or forced to take strange potions to transform us. We do have to wear these itchy uniforms.” She points to her own blue jumper. “Basically FTRS is a boarding school for delinquents. We take etiquette with the Sea Witch. Try taking dancing lessons from a teacher floating in a fish tank.

  “The chef makes a mean apple cobbler—without poison apples! The dorms are sweet—they’re in the castle turrets and there are only two students to every room. And we have plenty of time to try out activities—fencing, Pegasus flying lessons, snake charming. They like us to tap into new parts of our personalities here.”

  Apple cobbler, huge rooms, time to try activities? We have none of that at trade school. We have to bring lunch. My sandwich is soggy by the time noon rolls around since Mother makes our lunches at five in the morning. Plus, we get our own bedroom with only one roommate! “This place doesn’t sound half bad,” I admit.

  “It’s not,” Kayla agrees. “It’s fun as long as you stay on Flora’s good side. Make it hard on her, and she’ll make things doubly hard on you. She doesn’t like it when students step out of line, especially during the first few months. Quit bringing up Ella. Real sore spot. And don’t question her about the villains on the lam. Wolfington has been tracking Alva for years and still hasn’t sniffed her out.”

  “Who?” I ask.

  “Professor Wolfington,” Kayla says as if I should know this. “The Wolf? The one who ate Red’s granny? He’s everyone’s favorite professor—strict but actually listens. He’s a good guy. Er, I mean wolf. Wolf man.” She waves her hand. “Whatever.”

  The clock on Flora’s desk chimes seven, and Kayla flies back to the standing lamp in the corner of the room. “Remember what I said—be nice and your move will go smoothly.” Her eyes glow. “Who knows? You might even be my new roomie! My last one went missing a while ago,” she says, and before I can ask why… POOF! She vanishes.

  “I thought you were in for using fairy magic,” I whisper.

  Kayla’s laughter floats through the room. “Let’s say I haven’t been reformed yet.”

  I hear the doorknob turn and quickly sit back down.

  “Be nice!” Kayla reminds me.

  The Wolf turned professor, a sea witch for an etiquette coach, a delinquent fairy who still uses magic, and an apple cobbler that is killer in a good way?

  This place isn’t what I thought it would be. I think I can survive FTRS until I figure out my next move.

  The door opens and Flora walks in again.

  “So, Gillian,” she says. “Do you want to try having this conversation again?”

  Thinking of Kayla, I turn to the headmistress with a sad smile. “I know you want what’s best for me. And I know I can change with FTRS’s help.”

  Maybe I should take up acting. I wonder if they offer a course in that here.

  Flora sort of smiles. And I’m almost positive that somewhere near that standing lamp, an invisible Kayla just winked at me.

  CHAPTER 5

  The Escape Artist

  Pete and Olaf are gone. We all walked to the grand foyer to see them out. (“It’s only proper to see a guest off,” Flora told me. Some guests they were. They had me arrested!) Then the heavy wooden doors of the front entrance closed behind them. I wasn’t sad to see those two go, but now…I’m all alone with the stepmonster. (And possibly Kayla.)

  “Well, we should get you settled,” Flora says, sounding very un-stepmonster-like. She hands me a heavy stack of papers. The Fairy Tale Reform School insignia is embossed on the top one. “A few rules plus our guidelines for classes and after-school activities,” she says. “And of course, our disciplinary actions policy, which I’m sure you won’t be needing. But first-, second-, and third-offense consequences are listed here.”

  I flip through the book quickly. Wow. There are a lot of rules. More than Kayla let on. My eyes begin to glaze over. Then I focus on two words I don’t like: group therapy.

  “What’s this?” I ask, pointing to the offensive phrase.

  “We find the best way to rehabilitate our students’ behaviors is through sessions with a therapist,” Flora says. “Professor Harlow handles those and they’re quite rewarding.”

  “Annoying” would be the word I would choose. Somehow I don’t picture the Evil Queen passing out tissues and wanting to talk about our feelings. “And if I refuse to go?” I jut out my chin defensively.

  Flora’s smile is sort of creepy. “Your stay here will be as long as it needs to be.” She waves her hand. “We keep a close eye on our students’ behavior modifications.”

  Hmm…I’m not sure I like the sound of this anymore.

  “Ready, Headmistress?” The mirror near us begins to glow, and Miri’s voice is loud and clear. I suspect she’s been listening the whole time.

  “Yes, thank you, Miri,” Flora says. “Would you like to see your new room, Gillian? I hope you like bunk beds.”

  “When you have five brothers and sisters who sleep in the same boot with you, bunk beds are the only way to fit everyone,” I say.

  Headmistress Flora nods as if she understands, but I doubt it. Before she built FTRS, she lived here in Galmour Castle. Now she lives in a private wing of the school. She says all the teachers have apartments on campus.

  “Well, you won’t find our quarters as cramped as your shoe, that’s for sure,” Flora tells me. “But we do have to find you a roommate. Miri, who do we have available in the girls’ dormitory?”

  “We have limited choices,” Miri says grimly. “There’s Sasha, the sprite who keeps chopping off her roommate’s hair while she sleeps.”

  I cringe. I may not love my hair, but I do like the length. “I’m not due for a haircut for a while,” I tell Flora.

  “Who else do we have?” Flora taps her foot impatiently.

  “How about Tara? Her roommate will be in the infirmary all semester because that illegal spell she cast went awry.”

  “Any other options?” I ask. “I do not make a good guinea pig.”

  Flora runs a hand through her salt-and-pepper hair and exhales. “Miri, who do we have left?”

  I pat the quill in my pocket—I need someone who won’t judge my thieving. “I don’t mean to pry, Headmistress, but I saw a paper on your desk about a girl named Kayla needing a new roommate. What about her?”

  “Oh God, not that one,” Miri mutters.

  “Her picture was on the file, and she didn’t look
like someone who would turn me into a toad.”

  Flora fiddles with the large brooch on her tailored dress and stares at me doubtfully. “You should know that her last roommate went missing under mysterious conditions. We’ve found no trace of her.”

  “Allegedly went missing.” Kayla appears from behind a clock. “She was half wolf and had a nasty temper. I’m sure she’ll turn up eventually.” Kayla looks at me. “Who’s this?”

  “Gillian Cobbler, our newest student,” Flora introduces me. Kayla and I shake hands. Again. “She’s in need of a roommate, and for some strange reason, she’s requested you.” Flora turns to Miri. “We have almost a hundred students and there’s no one else? Kayla is still on probation for making it snow in the library last month.”

  “It looked so pretty,” Kayla says with a sigh.

  Flora does not look amused. “You were using magic, which you know is forbidden unless it’s part of a class assignment.”

  “Right!” Kayla’s eyes soften. “I’m really sorry about that. Won’t happen again.” She pauses. “So now can I have Gilly as a roommate?”

  Flora makes a noise resembling a growl.

  “Headmistress?” Miri interrupts. “I’m getting called to the castle by Rose.”

  Oh wow! Rose is Sleeping Beauty. Not that I care about that sort of thing.

  “When you’re through, please meet me in my office,” Flora tells her.

  “Yes, Headmistress,” Miri says. “Be good, girls.” With that, she’s gone.

  Flora doesn’t linger either. “Well, if you’re sure …” I nod. “Okay, Kayla can show you to the dormitory and give you a tour on the way.”

  “Yes, Headmistress,” Kayla says. We wait for Flora to walk away. “That was brilliant! I was trying to think of a way to make us roomies.”

  The hair on my arms stands up. “Shh! What if Miri hears you?”

  “Please!” Kayla’s wings stop fluttering. “If Miri got called to the castle, she is at the castle.” Kayla links her arm through mine, and I start to rise. “We have time before dinner to get you unpacked. Let me show you the school first.”

  “Let’s walk,” I insist. “I’ve never flown before. I’m sure it will make me dizzy.”

  Kayla looks disappointed. “Fine.”

  Drip. Click. Snap.

  “What was that?” The grand foyer is completely empty except for us.

  Kayla shrugs. “Beats me. Could be a Pegasus. They’re not supposed to fly by the castle. One nicked a turret last week. Everyone else is at after-school activities.”

  Drip. Click. Snap.

  Kayla flies toward the large front doors, and I quickly follow. When we reach the doors, she looks up. In one fast movement, she pulls off her belt and flicks it in the air at the chandelier. The fancy light fixture sways.

  “Aaah! Kayla, cut it out!”

  I jump. There’s a boy up there, standing on the crystal chandelier! He has slightly curly blond hair and is wearing a uniform—a navy sweater vest over a white shirt with khaki pants—but his boots are muddy. He’s stepping on priceless crystals with cruddy boots? Is he insane?

  “Jax! What are you doing up there?” Kayla whispers heatedly.

  “I’m cleaning the crystal for Flora,” Jax says and rolls his eyes. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m making a break for it.”

  Kayla applauds. “Yay! This time I know you can do it.”

  I shade my eyes from the light bursting through the stained-glass window next to the chandelier Jax is perched on. “Busting out? Why?” I ask Kayla. “I thought you said this place was cool.”

  Jax laughs loudly and looks at me. I feel slightly stunned. I’ve never seen violet eyes before. “FTRS was fun for a while, but strange things have started happening and I don’t want to be here when something bad goes down.”

  Strange things? What kind of strange things? Why does Kayla suddenly look pale?

  “He’s exaggerating,” Kayla tells me, but she doesn’t sound convincing.

  Drip. Whatever Jax is holding is leaking. Kayla and I move out of the way so we don’t get wet. “Grease,” Jax explains to me. “It lubes the window.” He swings the chandelier, and as it nears the window, he uses a fork to try to pry the window open. “A few more tries and I’ll have it.”

  “Then what are you going to do, genius?” I ask. “You’re two stories up.”

  Jax’s eyes gleam. “I’ve jumped from higher spots before.”

  “It’s true,” Kayla says to me. “Jax once jumped from the gym to the dining hall turret. That was three stories up. We call him the Escape Artist. One time he even managed to break into Azalea and Dahlia’s rooms and borrowed their keys to the indoor pool so the whole dorm could take a midnight swim.”

  “Impressive,” I tell him. “And I thought I was good at tricking obnoxious royals.”

  “She stole a dragon’s tooth clip from one this morning,” Kayla fills him in.

  “Nice,” Jax says. “Your first pull?”

  “No, I’ve been doing it for a while,” I brag.

  “Me too,” Jax says. “My father is a farmer. You can only get so far trading vegetables. I needed to kick things up a notch.”

  For some reason, I don’t think any of us are going to make the transformation Headmistress Flora is looking for. “Why do you want to break out so bad?”

  “I’ve got places to see, and Enchantasia isn’t one of them.” Jax swings the chandelier so hard the crystals clang together. The window latch pops open, and I watch Jax leap from the chandelier to the tiny window ledge. I’m in awe. Jax looks down at us smugly before pushing open the window. “Are you sure you two don’t want to join me?”

  “There’s no time for us,” Kayla says. “Get out of here. Wait!” Her eyes widen. “You deactivated the alarm on the window, right?”

  “There isn’t one,” Jax insists. “If there was, I wouldn’t be able to do this.” But when Jax lifts the window, we hear:

  EEEEEE! EEEE! EEEE! Unauthorized exit! Unauthorized exit!

  The shrieking sound is so intense that Kayla and I cover our ears. Within seconds, Flora is out of her office and running toward us.

  Swoosh!

  I feel something brush past me and I whirl around. When I look up at Jax again, a large, muscular man with a long mane of hair is hanging on to the window ledge, his furry hands pulling Jax back by his shirt. How did the man get up there without a ladder?

  “Mr. Jax,” the man says in a low growl, “we really must stop meeting like this.” He pulls Jax from the window ledge, and the two drop to the ground with barely a grunt. This must be the Wolf, and he can clearly jump. “Anything you want to say for yourself? Like what you were doing up there?”

  “I needed fresh air,” Jax mumbles.

  “Ah, same as the last two times.” The Wolf’s voice is as smooth as butter and very calm, considering what is going on.

  I turn to Kayla to suggest we get out of there, but she’s gone! Oh man, are you guilty by association in this place? Great. Just great.

  “You know what a third offense means, don’t you?” Flora says to Jax, who looks like he might throw up. “Solitary confinement for a month.”

  A month? Geez, that’s harsh!

  “Please,” Jax begs. “Just give me one more chance. I won’t try this again…”

  “Where were you going?” Flora asks. Jax doesn’t answer. “Then you leave me no choice.”

  “Wait!” I jump in, and they all look at me. The Wolf’s eyes are an icy blue that are both terrifying and mesmerizing. We thieves have to stick together. “It’s my fault. On the way in earlier, I dropped my journal. I write in it every day and planned on sending letters to my sister.” They’re still listening. That’s good. “I was so upset I lost it that Jax offered to try to get on the grounds to go look for it for me.” I look at Flora. �
�Since the doors are locked, he had to break out.”

  “Is that so?” The Wolf looks amused. “Can you confirm this, Mr. Jax?”

  Jax’s mouth starts to twitch, but thankfully stops. “Every word of it. I was trying to be the gentleman Madame Cleo is always telling us to be.”

  The Wolf nods. “Quite noble of you.” He looks at Flora. “I guess we should give them both another shot, since this is Miss Gillian’s first hour here and Mr. Jax was only trying to—what did you call it?—be a gentleman.”

  Flora’s blood vessels look like they might burst on her forehead. “A small shot. After this, they are both held accountable for their actions. Understood?”

  Jax and I look at each other. Jax speaks for both of us. “We understand completely.”

  Happily Ever After Scrolls

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  Why We Fear Apples: Meet FTRS’s Psychologist, Professor Harlow

  by Beatrice Beez

  Former Occupation: The evil queen of Snow White’s nightmares—and ours (Can anyone ever look at an apple the same way again?)—ruled the kingdom of Haddleburg with an iron fist.

  Current Occupation: “She’s such an intelligent woman that she doesn’t need to terrorize people to make an impact,” Flora said. (Harlow declined to be interviewed.) Today Harlow is one of FTRS’s strictest professors. She loves pop quizzes, so maybe terrorizing still applies.

  Hobbies: Fashion (Jasper’s Tailoring is where she orders custom gowns). She also loves to spend time with her sister, Jocelyn, who is an FTRS student, and coach the first-place fencing team.

  Strengths: Some say Harlow still dabbles in witchcraft, but Flora says that’s nonsense.

  Weakness: Her lack of a crown. Sources say that is still a sore spot.

  Likes: Beauty. “She’s determined to stay young!” says an anonymous student who was worried that Harlow’s pet raven, Aldo, would know she was being interviewed. (“He knows everything going on in her world.”)