by C. A. Harms
“Blair,” Whitney lets her arms relax in front of her as she steps closer, “you barely know him. Think about it. You can’t let yourself get wrapped up again and become oblivious to the signs around you.”
“What signs?” Now it’s my turn to get annoyed and maybe a little agitated.
“He’s a bartender, one who openly flirts with every woman that comes in.” I start to argue but she lifts her hand to stop me. “Before you say that's part of the job, let me assure you that there is a limit and that man doesn’t play by the rules. I just think you're blinded by the guy on the outside and in the end, I’m gonna be picking up the pieces of you that he leaves behind.”
Her words feel like a stab wound to my chest, partly because I fear them to be true. “It’s just fun,” I assure her, trying my best to keep my emotions clear. “Thought I’d take Sadie’s advice and have a little fling. You need to stop worrying so much.”
Whitney watches me, her gaze scanning over me as she analyzes me carefully. I can already tell she’s not completely buying my story.
“I just want you to be careful.” Finally, the hardness of her expression softens. “You deserve something better than a guy that just wants to use you. I wish you could see that.” Without another word, she leans in and offers me a quick hug before turning to walk back toward the elevator.
Not once does she turn back to face me, and I’ll admit, her disappointment and concern does leave me feeling slightly off-kilter.
Shutting the door quickly, I walk toward the kitchen to still see the mess on my counter from earlier. Old bills and invoices are scattered, plus a copy of the lease I’d forgotten I’d had. Seeing Nate’s name reminded me of that time in my life when I swore I’d be more careful with my choices. Whitney had the right to worry; she’s stood by my side more times than I can count as I went through the phases of grief: sadness, guilt, resentment, and anger.
One item at a time I start to place the papers back into the drawer. I fight against the uneasy feelings that begin to fill my stomach. I’m so lost in thought I don’t hear Jake sneak up behind me. He wraps his arms around me from behind, pulling my body back against his, and I feel like my heart lurches inside my chest.
“Jesus, you scared me,” I confess, and he chuckles.
“Sorry.” A gentle kiss is pressed to my temple, and it furthers the discomfort I’ve started to feel. This is how it starts, all relationships or whatever you want to call this. Everything is good, then it slowly starts to fall apart.
“What are we doing?” I ask the question before I can stop myself as I turn in his arms to face him. His eyebrows scrunch up as he tilts his head to the side, looking over my face slowly. “This,” I add as I motion between us with my hand, “I’m not sure what this is.”
Jake remains silent, watching me closely. Something passes over his face, a look of concern, insecurity maybe, I’m not sure.
“We have to go back to the bar tonight and work side by side and I guess I just need to know what—”
He silences me with a kiss as he steps closer and cups my face with his hands. Holding me firmly to him, he continues to move his lips and tongue against my own. I’m instantly reminded of how my body reacts to his touch.
“I like you, Blair,” he confesses, pulling back from our kiss for only a second. His confession manages to make me more nervous. “This,” again he pauses, letting his forehead rest to mine, “is two people getting to know each other. It’s us exploring the options of what we could become.”
My pulse quickens.
“We go to work, just as we always do.” Jake lifts his forehead and leans back, his gaze settling on mine. “Only now, when any guy openly gawks at you, I’ll be assuring them you’re not available.” I arch my brow and he smiles. “And you have the right to do the same.”
“Is that so?” I can’t help but smile when he looks at me so seriously, as if those words are set in stone and nothing I say or do will change them.
He nods his head.
“We don’t need to figure out what we are and what we'll be in one night or even one week.” Jake skims over my lip with his thumb. “I just know that being with you feels right, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt what I feel now.”
“What do you feel?” Maybe I should let it go and choose to protect my heart, only I can’t stop myself. I have to know.
“Like you could be the one person to change everything.”
My chest tightens and my knees feel weak. I know here and now that he is right. Because I feel it too.
Jake left only a few hours ago so he could go home and change for work. I spent the time alone trying to regain my sense of control. I know Whitney is right and that I need to slow things down. The last day and a half has been amazing, but getting completely wrapped up in a guy so fast isn’t a smart thing for a girl like me to do.
I have a terrible habit of latching onto other people to find the peace I think they hold for me. It’s my downfall, and easily allows me to forget that I have a whole set of my own issues.
I stand in front of my mirror, wondering how I’ll get through tonight. My stomach is a mess, my eyes burn with the impending feeling of wanting to curl up in a corner and once again cry over what my life has become. Not just over the last few days, but the past few years. I’ve let myself go down a path I swore I never would. I want something better than my childhood. Something better than the people who brought me into this world. I just want more, period.
With a deep breath in and a slow breath out, I look over my outfit one last time. A pair of dark skinny jeans, high heeled boots and a shimmering red top, low cut and revealing. I feel satisfied with my choice.
I spin around and square my shoulders as I walk toward the door. Over and over in my head, I remind myself that I don’t need a man, or anyone really, because I am strong and confident. Though each word I speak feels like a lie, I continue to chant them. Maybe if I say them enough I will become that person I so want to be.
Chapter Ten
Jake
“There was nothing there,” I assure my father as he stares back at me, unsatisfied. His eyes narrow, his nostrils flaring as he continues to take in one raging breath after another. “I looked through the entire place and found nothing of his but a lease with no more information than we already have.”
“Did you ask her?”
“She doesn’t know anything,” I tell him, ignoring his question.
“She knows something of value to me, Cyrus.”
I feel my adrenaline rise as he holds my stare.
“You’ve just allowed yourself to get wrapped up in the girl and have managed to forget your responsibilities. Getting laid has clouded your judgment and from what Gabe tells me of this girl, I can see how that can be done.”
I look toward my brother and find him smiling wide.
“He says she’s very attractive.”
Gabe purses his lips and I want nothing more than to knock the fucking look from his face.
“But it’s time for me to find a means to gather the information you’ve neglected to collect.”
My father’s words instantly regain my full attention. “What?”
“You’ve had your fun, Cyrus, and in the process gotten a good piece, from what I can assume.” My hands fist at my sides. “But I’ve decided to take a different route.”
“What are you talking about?” My blood pumps faster, making me feel lightheaded. The chair my brother sits in squeaks from across the floor as he stands.
“Don’t worry, brother,” he says as he begins to walk toward the door. “I’ll be as gentle as I can with her.”
I was moving across the room faster than my mind could register only to be grabbed from behind. Paul, my father’s flunky, bodyguard, whatever the fuck you want to call him, and Brody, his oldest friend, hold onto me from behind as Gabe stands in the now open doorway. He looks back at me, a look of triumph on his face. “I promise not to damage her pretty face.”
“Don’t fu
cking touch her,” I seethe as I attempt to break free from the hold I am captured in.
“But touching her is gonna be the best part.” Gage licks his lower lip and I suddenly feel sick.
“I swear Gabe, if you hurt her, or lay one finger on her, brother or not, I’ll fucking kill you.”
He looks past me, I’m sure gaining approval from my father just before his eyes meet mine once more. He offers me a wink before he walks out of the room, a deep chuckle echoing down the hall.
“She’s just a woman, Cyrus,” my father says nonchalantly as the two men guide me back toward the chair I had been sitting in. “They are a dime a dozen and we can even find you a sweet little brunette that looks like this Blair woman.” I want to fight back, I want to tell him what a sorry piece of shit he is, but I know it will only prolong me getting to Blair. I have to get out of this room and playing Zeke’s game is the only way to do so.
“I don’t like not being able to complete a job,” I say as my nostrils flare and my hands shake. “I was just sampling a little along the way, no harm in that. Plus wearing her down enough to give me the time to snoop around worked well. I got off, and she passed out.” The words felt like acid as I spoke them.
“Good strategy, boy,” my father states and both of his men laugh. “But you were thinking with your dick and unfortunately for you, I don’t like to wait.”
“You gave me a week.”
“And I changed my mind.”
Chapter Eleven
Blair
I lock my car and spin around only to come face to face with two men I don’t know. My heart races as I step back and bump up against the side of my car. “Hey pretty lady,” the darker haired man says as he smiles wide. One of his front teeth is half missing, making him somehow appear even scarier. “You shouldn’t be outside in a dark parking lot all by yourself. Didn’t anyone ever teach you to be more cautious?”
“What do you want?” My voice shakes with fear as I try to figure out how to get away from these men. “Here,” I hold out my keys and my purse, “take them.”
“Ah baby.” I feel sick to my stomach as he reaches out and skims over my arm with the tip of his finger. The echo of the other man laughing only makes me feel more intimidated. “We don’t want your car or your money.”
I look between the two men and find them both scanning over me from head to toe.
“I would like to use her back seat, though, for a little sample.” Bile rises in my throat as tears prick my eyes. The taller guy with greasy blond hair reaches down and grips himself suggestively.
“Cool down, Rick,” the man with the broken tooth says calmly. “Unless you want to be on the receiving end of my brother's fist, or worse his gun, I’d remember to keep your hands and your dick to yourself.”
“Are you telling me we aren’t gonna touch her even a little bit?”
A tear rolls over my cheek and he glides his finger along my cheekbone to catch it, before bringing it to his lips. With his tongue, he tastes the moisture and again I feel my body tremble with fear.
“Though I’d love nothing more than to go a few rounds with Cyrus, I think hurting this girl may lead him to a place he’s never gone.” I have no idea who they are talking about, but I find I’m thankful that he somehow ensures my safety. Or I hope he has. “It would seem she’s gotten beneath his skin.”
As he says this, he trails the finger over my arm and along my chest to the exposed space between my breasts. I’ve never in my life felt so dirty, but his touch makes my skin crawl.
“My brother seems to be possessed by whatever it is you’re offering him.” I swallow hard. “I’ll admit, I’d love a taste too.”
When he smiles wide, all I can focus on is the empty space where a tooth once was. I need a place to zero in on, something to keep me from slipping to the ground and curling into a ball.
“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” My voice trembles.
“Cyrus,” he says the name once more, and I still have no idea who this person is. “I think you know him as Jake.”
I gasp, then quickly close my mouth as my vision clouds.
“You see…” He dips his finger lower, tucking it into the center binding of my bra. I shiver out of sheer disgust. He, of course, takes it a different way. A pleased smirk tugs at his lips as he continues to urge his finger further. “My brother was supposed to get inside your head and find answers. But instead, he just got inside your body.”
My stomach twists as my mind goes over his words slowly.
“So I’m here to finish the job he couldn’t,” he whispers as he skims over my cheek with his lips. His breath is horrid, a mixture of cigarettes and stale alcohol is all I can smell as it fans out over my face.
“What job?” I ask as I turn my face away from him.
“I need to know where I can find Nate.” I move my head quickly as I turn to look at him once more. “Name ring a bell?” I don’t have to answer him; I know he already knows everything he needs to know about me. “Where can I find him?”
“I haven’t seen Nate in more than six months.”
He pulls his hand free from my cleavage and I feel a sense of relief, but that quickly fades when the back of his hand connects with my cheek.
“You told Cyrus you wouldn’t mess up her face.” I close my eyes tightly as more tears fall. The idea that I’ve been used by Jake, or Cyrus, whatever the hell his name is, breaks my heart. The worst part is he knew these men were coming to finish what he couldn’t.
“Shut up,” the toothless man barks as he grips my throat tightly and pushes me back hard against the car behind me. “Listen, bitch,” anger is evident in his voice, “I need answers. So don’t give me any of your bullshit. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. But you should know the hard way is gonna scar your mind and your body for a lifetime.”
My lower lip trembles and I’m unable to stop it. “I only know of a few friends. Maybe a cousin that he could be staying with.” My throat burns as I try to whisper the words past the pressure he’s applying to my throat.
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” He smiles, and that same stale breath engulfs my senses.
I thought he’d step back, but instead, he simply loosens his grasp and keeps his body pressed firmly to mine. He gently shifts his hips on occasion and I can feel how much he seems to be enjoying the friction it offers.
I try to stay strong and keep the tears at bay, but I’m terrified of what they may do next.
I quickly ramble off names and locations of where I thought Nate may have gone, but I swore I was being truthful before when I said I hadn’t seen or heard from him since he walked out my door.
When I’m done and the other guy has jotted down all the information they need, the man I now know as Jake’s brother releases his hold on my neck. Instead of letting me go, he simply lowers his hand over my shoulder and seeks out my breast. Cupping me hard, he squeezes and again shifts his hips against me.
“Normally this would be the moment I break a woman,” he whispers this smugly and I do all I can to hold down the bile that is threatening to expel. “The moment when I show her that I’m in control and that if she ever spoke of this moment I’d be forced to end her. It’s my favorite part, really. Hearing a woman cry for help as I degrade her, as I humiliate her.”
This man is sick.
“But I did make a promise to my brother.”
I want to run when he carefully steps back then removes his hand from my chest. I could almost still feel the pressure of his body against mine. I know it will be a long time before I can forget the way it felt.
“Don’t make me regret my loyalty to family.”
Was he serious? Loyalty, family? I want to laugh in his face, but I know that will only make things worse.
“I’m sure I’ll be seeing ya around, Blair Wilkerson, of Two-Twenty Westbrook, Apartment Twelve-B.” He backs away with a confident smile and my body sags against the car, slowly sinking to the ground. I watch,
unable to take my eyes off them as they both turn and walk away. I don’t move until they are completely gone and all that remains is silence.
Gathering my keys that had fallen to the ground in the struggle with Jake’s brother, I stand on shaky legs and climb inside my car. My hands tremble so severely that it takes three attempts before I can get the key in the ignition. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to hold back the tears; they fall in sheets. My body shakes with sobs as I drive away from the parking lot.
My phone vibrates in my purse but I can’t seem to take my hands off the steering wheel. Somehow the hard grasp of the leather keeps me from completely falling apart, like it alone is the last piece of control that keeps me from crumbling.
I can’t go home; they know where I live, Jake and those two men. How can he do this? How can he be part of this crazy game to find Nate? None of it, nothing about Nate and his choices have anything to do with my life.
I pull into the parking lot of a gas station and finally peel my hands from the wheel, my fingers immediately aching from the hard grasp I’ve held. I have three missed calls and a number of text messages, all from Jake, and that alone makes my vision blur with a new round of tears. I want it to go away, all of it. I want to forget I know him or that I ever let him touch me. I want to run, far away where no one can find me. Terror threatens to consume me and I force myself to dial Whitney’s number with trembling hands.
“I thought you had to work?” She doesn’t even take the time to say hello. “Don’t tell me that Mr.-Fuck-me-all-day-and-night already tossed you aside.”
“Whit, I need you.” The words are nothing more than a whisper, but they gain her full attention.
“Where are you?”
“Down the road from my apartment at the gas station on the corner.” I check the area around as fear strikes that they’d possibly followed me without me knowing. I double check again that the doors are locked and all the windows are up. Scanning over the area around me, I place the car in drive and rest my foot on the brake. I want to enhance my chances of escape if they come back.
