Lost Memories (Sycamore P.D. Series Book 1)

by T. E. Killian

  He could see that Sarah was now probably doing the same comparison that he just had. She looked over at Sybil expectantly.

  Sybil answered for Grant. “Grant takes after his father, your first husband, who had brown hair and brown eyes.”

  As Sarah seemed to process that, Sybil leaned over to Grant, and said, “Why don’t you go out to your truck and get those albums I brought?”

  When Grant returned carrying three large photo albums, Sybil was sitting beside Sarah on the love seat. He sat in the arm chair next to them and kept the albums in his lap since Sybil was talking so intently to Sarah.

  Grant listened to what Sybil was saying, “Your name is really Sarah.” When Sarah didn’t respond, Sybil said, “Your whole name is Sarah Jane.”

  Sarah brightened up briefly and said, “Yes, I knew that much. It’s that way on my passport and other IDs but Harry always called me Jane.”

  Sybil continued as if Sarah hadn’t spoken, “You always hated to be called Jane or especially Sarah Jane. Even as a little girl, I remember you stamping your foot and shouting, “My name is Sarah!”

  Sarah didn’t look like she knew what to say to that, but she said, “The doctors said that I will probably never remember anything that happened before my accident.” She looked down at her nervous hands again, but looked back at Sybil before continuing, “They said that part of my brain was damaged so badly that I would always have trouble remembering anything from years ago as well.”

  She attempted a smile. “But, they were wrong, at least about that part. I can remember everything that has happened since I woke up in that military hospital in Germany twenty years ago.” A far-away look appeared on her face. “They were right about the rest though. I just can’t remember anything before that.”

  She looked into Sybil’s eyes. “That means that I may never remember growing up with you.” She looked at Grant. “It also means that I may never remember giving birth to you or anything else about you.”

  Tears formed in Sybil’s eyes and she touched Sarah’s arm. “Sarah?” When Sarah looked at Sybil, she continued, “You have a daughter too.”

  Sarah just starred at Sybil with a blank look on her face.

  “Yes, her name is Alison and she looks just like you.”

  Sarah suddenly seemed to snap out of her trance. “How old are all of you?”

  Sybil spoke for all of them. “I’m your older sister and I’m 51. She motioned toward Grant. “Grant is 29 and Alison is 27.”

  Sarah leaned back and closed her eyes. “That means that they were nine and seven the last time I was with them.”

  Big tears began to roll down her cheeks and splash on her shoulders. “I have missed so much.”

  Sybil wrapped her arms around Sarah’s shoulders. “Do you think you can think of yourself as Sarah now instead of Jane?”

  Grant could see that Sarah was startled by that question. She took the tissue Sybil handed her and slowly wiped her eyes with it. She looked over at Grant then raised her eyes to Sybil’s. “Is that what you want to call me?”

  Sybil seemed too choked up to talk. She simply nodded her head emphatically.

  Sarah tried to smile but didn’t quite succeed. “Then, from now on, I will no longer be Jane Newcomb, I’ll be Sarah Newcomb now.”

  Sybil’s face beamed and she said, “Harry must have changed it like he did everything else when he told you what he wanted you to know about your past.” She shook her head. “Lies! All lies!”

  Sarah looked startled when Grant spoke for the first time. “Don’t you remember anything about us?”

  Sarah slowly shook her head. “You can’t imagine how badly I want to remember you, Grant, but I just can’t.” She reached out across the space between their chairs. “There’s just nothing there before my accident, nothing at all. It’s like I go up against a brick wall every time I try to remember anything from back then.” Again, she shook her head. “Nothing . . . nothing at all.” The tears began falling again.

  Sybil brought Sarah’s attention back to her. “Would you like to see some photos of you and me when we were growing up?”

  When Sarah nodded, Sybil turned to Grant. “Hand me the top album, would you please hon.”

  For the next ten minutes Sarah looked and listened as Sybil showed her photos of their childhood with a running commentary on each one complete with stories of what they did around the time of each of the photos.

  Sybil closed that album and said, “Are you ready to see photos of your married life?” When Sarah reluctantly nodded Sybil said, “Norman Thompson was a good hard-working man when you married him. He was eight years older than you, but he was good to you until he started drinking. Then he turned abusive and beat you quite often.”

  At the look of shock on Sarah’s face, Sybil stopped and looked into her eyes. “Are you sure you’re ready for all of the rest of this, dear?”

  Sarah looked as if she was beginning to overload on all the new information. “Can we stop for a moment? I need to let my mind catch up with all that has happened in the last two hours, not to mention the past two weeks.”

  When Grant and Sybil both gave her blank looks, she explained. “It’s more than Harry’s death. It’s also coming here. Even though I’ve lived all over the world, my life has changed very little with each move. I’ve always lived in Air Force Married Officers’ Quarters which all look the same. I also kept running into many of the same wives everywhere we went.” She paused to blow her nose and toss the tissue into a wastebasket nearby.

  She looked at Grant who was staring at her from the sofa. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself? I’ve got a lot of catching up to do. You must have been only nine when we were separated.”

  Grant marveled at her choice of words, ‘separated.’ He guessed that was one way of looking at it. He leaned forward bringing his face within two feet of Sarah.

  “I guess you noticed that I don’t look much like you three.” He waved his hand at the sisters sitting on the love seat. “As Sybil said, I look like my dad. I remember a little about him. I was eight when he died.”

  That brought Sarah’s gaze back to Sybil who said, “That’s where I was going next. Why don’t you let Grant finish telling you about himself then I’ll tell you the rest about Norman?”

  When Sarah nodded, Grant continued, “When I finished high school, I went to college, at ASU, majoring in Criminal Justice. Stan, Detective Becker – he's not only my partner, but he’s been my best friend since we were in grade school – well, he worked for a local construction company. When we were twenty-one and finally old enough to go to the police academy, we did. We’ve both wanted to be police officers since we were very little. I finished my degree part-time after that.”

  Sarah seemed to think of something else. “You’re not married?”

  He shook his head and said, “Neither is my sister.”

  When Sarah turned to Sybil, Sybil said, “I was married once. He was a police officer, just like Grant. He was trying to talk to a man who had a gun to his wife’s head. The man turned the gun on Lonny and killed him instead.”

  Sarah put her hands to her cheeks then placed one on each of Sybil’s shoulders. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

  Sybil shook her head and patted Sarah’s hands. “Thank you, dear, but it’s been such a long time since it happened. But, lately it’s been on my mind like it was yesterday. You see, it happened twenty-five years ago last Friday.”

  Sybil took over again. “Back to you Sarah. As I said before, Norman was good to you until he started drinking too much. He beat you so badly sometimes that I had to take you to the Emergency Room. Then, one night a little over twenty-one years ago, he was so drunk that he drove his pickup through a guardrail and into a ravine.”

  When Sarah only stared at her, Sybil continued, “That’s when you took the kids and moved to Phoenix where you got a decent job in a grocery store.” She paused and frowned. “That’s where you met Harry.”

  “Oh, yes, he
at least told me that much. He said he only went through my check-out line once and he was hooked.” She had a half smile on her face now.

  Sybil’s frown deepened. “Well, within three months you two were married because he was being transferred to Germany. After the wedding, it was planned for me to keep the kids while you and Harry went on your honeymoon.” She shook her head as tears formed in her eyes again. “But, you never came back. Instead, Harry sent us an urn that he said had your ashes in it.”

  Grant could tell that Sarah wasn’t prepared for that shocking announcement. She almost fell off the love seat. Sybil grabbed her arm to steady her.

  When Sarah straightened and looked at Sybil, Sybil stood and said, “Grant, I think we’ve been here long enough and poured a little too much into Sarah’s mind for one day.”

  She turned back to Sarah. “Why don’t I come over tomorrow and you and I can talk some more and look at more photos?”

  Sarah smiled. “Yes, I would like that.”

  * * *

  Kelly paused in the doorway of the front parlor when she saw Jane sitting alone where she had been sitting earlier with Grant and his aunt. They left almost an hour ago. Had she moved at all? Kelly didn’t know whether to continue on into the room or to turn around and leave quietly. Jane’s head was in her hands with her elbows on her knees. Apparently, Jane didn’t want company just yet. Kelly had decided to leave, but then she heard a whimper-like sound coming from Jane. Her concern for the older woman won out. She stepped into the room and walked near where Jane sat on the love seat.

  Kelly took one look at Jane and was suddenly afraid that she might be about to faint again.

  As Kelly lowered herself onto the seat, Jane looked up at her and there were fresh tears streaking down her cheeks. Kelly pulled several tissues from a box on the end table next to her and handed them to Jane.

  She wasn’t prepared for what Jane said to her then. “My sister said that I always hated the name Jane. She said that I always went by Sarah. I knew that my full name was Sarah Jane. Harry just always called me Jane.” She hadn’t been looking at Kelly but turned her watery eyes on her now. “Would you do me a favor, Kelly . . . please?”

  When Kelly nodded, she said, “Would you call me Sarah from now on, please?”

  Kelly smiled and reached out her hand which Sarah took. “I would be happy to call you Sarah.”

  Neither woman said anything for a few minutes, but the bond initiated by their clasped hands strengthened throughout the silence.

  When Sarah finally released her hand, Kelly said, “How did your visit with your family go?”

  “My family? That does have such a nice sound to it doesn’t it?” Sarah looked up at the ceiling and folded her hands in her lap then took a deep breath before answering. “I think it went well enough.” Tears appeared in her eyes again. “I just can’t believe all this is happening to me . . . . has happened to me.”

  Kelly decided to wait out Sarah’s new silence.

  “I have children . . . a son and a daughter. When I first think about that, I get so excited, and then I think about how I’ve missed out on twenty years of their lives.” She opened her hands, slapped both palms down on her knees, and looked up at Kelly. “I realize you don’t know me very well, Kelly, but I seldom ever get angry. But, right now, I’m so angry at your father that if he were here right now, I don’t know what I’d say to him.”

  Sarah closed her eyes and sniffled. “I thought I knew him. After all, he was my husband for twenty years. You tend to think you know someone quite well after that long.”

  Kelly didn’t respond to that, instead she continued waiting for Sarah to speak. She was sure the older woman just needed to voice her thoughts out loud. That always helped Kelly when she was able to do so.

  After another few minutes, Sarah looked up, dabbed at her eyes with the tissue again, tossed it in the basket, and stood. “I think I’ll go up to my room and get ready for bed.”

  Just as Kelly rose to leave with Sarah, Leo’s huge frame filled the doorway. From the look on his face, it was obvious that he had something on his mind.

  The big man stepped into the room and looked down at Sarah. He seemed to be at a loss for words. Finally, he cleared his throat twice then spoke. “Could I talk with you for a minute, ma’am?”

  Kelly kept her hold on Sarah’s arm and when Sarah nodded to Leo, led her back to the love seat. As Sarah sat, Kelly started to leave the room.

  Leo held up a massive hand and said, “No, Miss Kelly, could you stay too? I think Mrs. Newcomb may need you.”

  With that, Kelly looked back at Sarah who nodded her head again and patted the seat next to her.

  Leo sat in the armchair that Harold had sat in before. He looked down at his shoes for some time before he finally looked back in the direction of the two women and focused on Sarah.

  “Ma’am, you know that the general always said that if anything ever happened to him I was to take care of you?”

  He said this as a question and waited for Sarah’s response.

  “Yes, Leo, I know that was Harry’s wish.”

  Leo fidgeted in his seat, cleared his throat, and finally looked at Sarah again. “There was more to it than that though.”

  This time, Kelly was afraid that Leo wasn’t going to be able to finish whatever it was that he wanted to say.

  Then when he did start talking, he said it all in such a rush that it almost ran together. “You see, ma’am, the general told me to make sure that you came back here to this town, to his parents, if something ever happened to him.”

  He pulled a business size envelope out of his pocket and held it up for them to see.

  “And I was supposed to give you this letter when you got here. He said that it would answer all the questions that you would have once you got here.”

  When Leo handed her the letter, Sarah finally spoke. “Leo, do you know what is in this letter?”

  He shook his head emphatically. “No, ma’am, I don’t.”

  Leo started to leave, but Sarah held out her hand, “No, Leo, I would like for you to stay. Not only did Harry trust you, but I do as well. He trusted you with this letter, and somehow I think you should hear what it says.”

  With that, she tore open the envelope and pulled out several handwritten pages. When she tried to read it, her eyes filled with tears and she handed it to Kelly.

  “Could you read it to us, dear?”

  Kelly didn’t think she should even be here much less be reading the letter that was apparently a private matter between Harry and Sarah. But the insistent look on Sarah’s face swayed her.

  She began to read aloud. “My dearest Jane. If you are reading this letter, then I am no longer alive. There are some things I wanted you to know, but I’ve never had the nerve to tell you because I didn’t want to lose you.”

  Kelly paused to look at Sarah to see if she could gauge how she was taking this then she continued reading.

  “I’m sorry Jane. I lied to you after you lost your memory. I didn’t want anything to do with my family because my father and I didn’t agree on my career choice and I was tired of fighting with him every time we were together. I took advantage of your amnesia to cut you off from your family too, since they lived in the same town that my family did.

  “Yes, you have family there. You have a sister named Sybil Fleming. You also have a son named Grant Thompson and a daughter named Alison Thompson. Even though I couldn’t let you be with them while I was with you, I want you to have them with you now.

  “My parents will be able to help you find your family. All I can say is that I love you and I just wanted you for myself only. I’m sorry if that hurt you in any way.”

  Kelly couldn’t read any more because her own eyes were full of tears too. Sarah realized that and took the papers from Kelly’s trembling hand.

  Leo spoke causing both women to jump. “I’m sorry ma’am, I had no idea.”

  “I know Leo. Thank you for being so faithful t
o Harry . . . and to me too.”

  “You’re welcome, ma’am. I guess I’ll go on up to my room. By the way, I’ll be moving my things out of there this weekend.”

  Kelly was surprised to see panic on Sarah’s face. “Oh, Leo! But where will you go?”

  He shook his head from side to side. “I wasn’t sure for a while, ma’am, but now I am. Mr. Newcomb offered me a job. You see, his driver, Lawrence is retiring and moving to California to be with his daughter and her family and Mr. Newcomb offered me his job.”

  Kelly spoke up. “But, Leo, aren’t you still in the Air Force?”

  He chuckled, “No ma’am, General Winstanley pulled some strings and pushed my retirement through effective today.” He turned back to Sarah. “So, you see, ma’am, I’ll be able to continue to watch over you the way the general always wanted me to.”

  After Leo left, Sarah looked up at Kelly and said, “Thank you Kelly. I don’t know what I’d do without you right now. You’re such a comfort to me. I really didn’t have anybody to turn to.” She got a far-away look in her eyes then said, “I guess now I do.”

  She turned her gaze on Kelly, “I hate to say it, but I don’t know my sister or my children.”

  She pushed herself to her feet. “Now I really do think I need to go upstairs and get ready for bed.” She laughed. “I know I won’t be able to sleep at all with all that’s happened this evening . . . all that I’ve learned.”

  As she started walking to the doorway, she turned back to Kelly. “Would you stay with me for just a little while longer, please?”

  “Yes, of course,” was all Kelly could manage to say as she followed Sarah from the room.

  Kelly was surprised and somewhat pleased when Sarah, leading the way, went directly to the elevator. As they stepped inside, a warm feeling for this woman swept over her, a woman Kelly had not known even existed a couple of weeks ago.