Undercurrent (Sand Dollar Shoal Book 1)

by Pandora Pine

  Landon didn’t even act like he’d heard Noble’s encouraging words. He just kept climbing until he reached the top and Noble helped him onto the roof. “Jesus Christ and all the saints in heaven.”He was breathing heavy and looked soaked in sweat.

  “Nice job, man.” Noble offered a hand down to help Landon to his feet. Noble couldn’t help thinking maybe building a spiral staircase leading to the trap door might be a better idea than the old metal rungs. There’s no way children would be able to make the climb and what he’d failed to mention to Landon was that the climb down was a little more precarious.

  “Oh, wow!” Landon gasped when he regained his feet and looked out over the ocean.

  Noble joined Landon at the railing of the widow’s walk. Thanks to the storm that was still swirling around them, he’d guess visibility was down to about a quarter of a mile. On a sunny day, visibility could be as much as ten miles. “Incredible, huh?”

  Landon nodded, not turning around to look at Noble.

  Frowning, Noble moved a bit closer to the other man. “I’ve been coming up here every few hours or so to make sure the trapdoor still opens and doesn’t get snowed over.”

  “That sucks,” Landon mumbled.

  “It’s all part of being keeper of the light.” Noble grinned.

  Landon turned his head to look at Noble. “I’ve always been more clumsy than athletic.” It looked like it hurt Landon to make that admission.

  Noble’s eyes turned serious. Landon was hesitant to admit his fault to Noble and he couldn’t fuck this moment up. “The only thing I can cook without burning it is grilled cheese.”

  Landon snorted and started to laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” Noble chuckled along with him.

  “My sandwich was a little singed yesterday.” Landon grimaced.

  “Mine was a lot singed.” Noble burst out laughing.

  Landon turned away from the ocean to face the lighthouse tower. “It’s amazing being up here with you. Getting to see the light up close at last.”

  “I come up here when the urge to drink is so strong that I don’t think I can fight against it.” Noble didn’t know where that sudden confession came from. He hadn’t even shared that with his AA sponsor.

  “Why is there a bottle of Jack Daniels on the table in the dining room with your AA chip leaning against it?”

  Noble grinned, shaking his head. “I did promise to tell you about that, didn’t I?”

  Landon shrugged. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’m listening all the same.”

  Looking sharply up at Landon, Noble couldn’t help but smile at him. His friends always had this way of strong-arming him into telling them what they wanted to hear. He liked Landon’s way much better. “I lost my husband in a car accident two years ago and lost myself in the bottle soon after.”

  “Jesus, Noble. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories for you.” Landon had an uncomfortable look on his face.

  Noble, not knowing why, slipped his arm around Landon’s back and set his head on the other man’s shoulder. “They’re not bad memories. They’re my life story. Back in September, my friends and my dad had an intervention for me. My friend, Griffin Fox, bought this hotel and gave me the job here if I could get through rehab and stay sober.”

  Landon slid his arm around Noble, urging his new friend closer. “Griffin Fox? Is he any relation to Astor Fox, the hotel mogul?”

  Noble nodded. “Yeah, Griff is his only son.” Being this close to Landon was somehow soothing. He could smell Landon’s fresh soap and that familiar trill of attraction was running through his body like an electric current. “I agreed to go to rehab and made it through the ninety days.”

  “Congratulations,” Landon’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m so proud of you.”

  Proud of him? Landon didn’t even know him. Noble shuddered against the other man, feeling this overwhelming need to get closer still. “Thanks, but all I wanted to do when I got out of rehab was find the closest bar and drink until I couldn’t stand.”

  Landon clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I can’t imagine anything worse than losing a husband.”

  Noble sighed. “It wasn’t that. I’ve managed to put my grief for Vincent behind me.”

  “What was it then?”

  “For the last two years all I did was drink. Not being able to drink was like losing a friend. I didn’t have anything to do anymore. All of my favorite things were wrapped up in booze. Football Sundays, brunch, Friday nights.” Noble snorted. “Hell, Monday nights too. I bought the bottle of Jack during one of my weakest moments. I never opened it and haven’t had a drink since the day I went to rehab.”

  “I can’t keep chocolate around or it’s gone in a flash. How have you been able to keep temptation that close without giving in?”

  Talking about temptation made Noble want to kiss Landon. He didn’t even know if the other man was gay or bi, but he certainly didn’t seem in any hurry to let Noble go. “I find a reason every day not to drink. Sometimes they’re silly reasons, like not wanting Charlie to be disappointed in me.”

  “What’s your reason for not drinking today?” Landon sounded like he was genuinely interested in the answer.

  Noble pulled back, glancing down into Landon’s hazel eyes which were now a deep, mossy green. “You.” Setting his cold hands against Landon’s equally cold face, he kissed him, brushing his lips against Landon’s.

  Gripping Noble’s hips, Landon pulled him closer and returned his kiss.

  What was he doing? Noble pulled back suddenly as if he’d been burned. This man was his guest until the roads were passable, not some man for him to paw like a caveman. “Come on, I’ll show you how the light tower works.”

  What Noble needed to do right now was put a little space between him and Landon, otherwise he knew their lips would be glued together until they froze solid.

  6

  Three hours later, Landon could still feel the press of Noble’s lips against his own. It had been a long time since he’d kissed someone as more than a prelude to the main event. His kiss with Noble had been sweet, and, in his mind, cemented the connection that had been steadily growing between them.

  The climb back down from the widow’s walk had been worse than the climb up. Coming back down involved laying flat on the floor of the walk and scooting backward over the edge until his booted feet came into contact with the rungs. Noble had been halfway down the ladder guiding him with his hands and words of encouragement, but he’d still felt like a complete ass.

  It was becoming more and more obvious to Landon over the last week that he needed to do something about his expanding waistline. He’d done nothing over the last three months but sit in his desk chair staring at the blinking cursor and eating.

  Eating was a gross understatement of what he’d been doing. There was only one pizza place that delivered to Plum Island and over the last few months, all of the delivery drivers had been out to his house so much, they knew Landon by his first name.

  Not only was pizza his constant companion, but chocolate had been too. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to stop at the local CVS and come out with forty dollars worth of chocolate and other junk food.

  Landon sighed. It was definitely time for a change. Trying to haul his ass up the rungs of the ladder after Noble had made it look so easy was the last straw.

  “What’s got you sighing over there? Are the drawings not coming out like you hoped?” Noble asked from in front of the fire.

  Landon had been sitting in what he’d come to think of as “his spot” at a table in front of the window looking out at the ocean, which had grown steadily angrier as the afternoon passed. He’d thankfully packed one of his sketch pads in his suitcase and had been drawing out his thoughts for how he’d paint the backboards of the stairs of the hotel.

  “No, the drawings are great. I wish I’d packed some colored pencils too. That would really have brought the sketches to
life.”

  “Colored pencils?” Noble grinned. “I think I can help you there.” Getting up from his chair, Noble crossed the room to where a large black duffle bag sat on an otherwise empty dining room table. He rummaged through it for a few minutes before pulling out a box of pencils. “Here you go.” Noble set them down on Landon’s table.

  Landon smiled up at him, still shocked that their earlier kiss hadn’t made things weird between the two of them. “Are you an artist as well as a master builder?”

  Noble snorted. “No, while I was in rehab, Presley sent me colored pencils and some of those adult coloring books to occupy my time and to help me stay relaxed.”

  “You have a friend named Presley?”

  “Yeah, his parents are huge Elvis fans. They own Hound Dog Hooch. It’s a whiskey brewery down in Memphis and he’s managing part of the business for them for now. Have you ever heard of their whiskey?”

  Landon nodded. “Another of your Andover friends?”

  “Yeah. He was Griff’s roommate at school. They lived across the hall from me and my roommate, Gregor.”

  “Let me guess, son of a Texas oilman?”

  “Nope! His father is the senior senator from South Carolina. Their money comes from tobacco, all the way back before the Civil War.”

  Landon frowned. It seemed like all of Noble’s friends came from money. “Were they good friends to you?”

  Noble studied Landon for a moment before nodding. “They were the best friends a guy could have. It was amazing to find out that all four of us were gay. I always thought it felt like we were being pulled together, you know what I mean?”

  Landon knew exactly what Noble meant. He’d gotten the feeling he was being pulled toward Noble the minute they met. It was like they shared their own gravitational force. “I do know what you mean. I had a friend like that in high school. I don’t think I would have survived those years without Milt.”

  Milt Cavenaugh lived a couple of streets over from Landon’s house. So far as he knew, Milt was the only other gay student at the regional high school they’d attended. They’d stuck to each other like a starfish to a rock for those four turbulent years.

  “Are you two still in touch?”

  Landon shook his head. “After high school he was off to UC Berkley and I was off to community college. We kept in touch for a while, but you know how those things go.” It was his fault that he and Milt didn’t stay in touch. He was too ashamed then to admit he was jealous of Milt’s new life and friends in California. After a while, it became too painful to hear the happy details.

  “What do you say to making dinner while I F-E-E-D and W-A-L-K Charlie?” Noble shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

  “Why are you spelling words?” Landon grinned at the dog who was lying on her stomach in front of the fire, her ears pricked up, eyeing both of them.

  “My girl is such a smarty-pants. She knows what those words mean and I don’t want to get her riled up until it’s time.”

  Landon snorted. “Yeah, I’ll cook.”

  “Are you any good at it?” Noble raised a questioning eyebrow.

  “Of course I am.” Landon waggled his eyebrows. “And if I’m not, I’ve got enough junk food in my bag to get us through the night.” Standing up, Landon went to move past Noble to see what was in the kitchen, but Noble stopped him by grabbing his hand.

  “I didn’t say it earlier, but I’m glad you’re here, Landon. I’ve been alone at the hotel for five days now and I was starting to get a little lonely. Thanks for staying.”

  Landon smiled, biting his tongue to keep from moaning out loud over the tingling attraction that shot through his body at Noble’s touch. “I know what you mean. It felt like the walls were starting to close in on me at home. I guess that was the reason why I just packed up and hit the road without calling the hotel for a reservation.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t.” Noble shrugged, dropping Landon’s hand.

  Landon laughed. “Me too.” More than anything, Landon wanted to kiss Noble. He wanted to pull him close and kiss his host the way Noble had kissed him on the widow’s walk earlier. Not that he’d ever admit it, but that kiss was the most romantic moment of his life, standing on top of the world, feeling like he and Noble were the only two men left on earth.

  XX

  Noble couldn’t help feeling cold when Landon pulled his hand back and headed off toward the kitchen. He’d been convinced Landon had been just about to kiss him and Noble had every intention of letting him.

  He hadn’t been with another man since Vincent’s death. There had been no desire, as if that part of his life had been buried along with his husband.

  Noble had always been a very sexual man. There hadn’t been very many days in his years with Vincent where the two of them hadn’t connected physically in some way. Now, he was two years celibate and it was like he hadn’t even noticed what he’d been missing until his lips met Landon’s.

  Sighing, Noble’s attention caught on Landon’s sketch pad. Now wasn’t the time to let his re-activated libido take over. Landon was just spending a few nights, nothing more. It wasn’t in him to have casual sex. Although if the way his body had responded to Landon’s earlier was any indication, sex between them would be far from casual. It would be deep and binding. Noble didn’t want to deal with the consequences of what that would mean.

  With his sobriety still in its infancy, the last thing Noble needed was another attachment that could end in tragedy. He was better off alone here with Charlie.

  Noble flipped over Landon’s sketch pad. The other man had turned it face down when he’d brought the colored pencils. The image on the page blew Noble away. When Landon said he could paint, Noble really hadn’t believed him. What he saw on the page removed all doubt.

  On the paper was a group of tiny shorebirds, sandpipers, Noble thought. The birds appeared to be running on the sand. They were so lifelike, Noble half-expected them to dash right off the page. He was halfway to flipping to the previous page when he stopped and set it back down. If Landon wanted him to see his work, he’d show it to him.

  Noble had just dumped a cup of dry kibble into Charlie’s bowl when he heard Landon’s laugh echoing through the kitchen. The sound gave him a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. It had been so long since he’d heard another man laughing like that.

  Following the sound, Noble pushed through the kitchen doors and saw Landon bent in half laughing his ass off. “What’s so funny?”

  Straightening up, Landon pointed to the open cabinet filled with Noble’s stash of canned food.

  “There’s nothing funny about Beefaroni, Spaghetti O’s, or canned ravioli.” Noble raised his eyebrows in challenge.

  Landon sucked in a deep breath. “You’re right. There’s nothing wrong with any of those foods, if you’re a five year old.” Landon started laughing again. “It looks like you have a lifetime supply.”

  Noble snorted and laughed along. He’d already told Landon that he couldn’t cook worth shit. Canned food was easy. All he had to do was open the can, plop it in a bowl and stick it in the microwave. Instant dinner. No mess. Easy clean up. “Okay, Julia Child, what can you cook?”

  Landon sobered instantly. “Well, there’s dry pasta and canned tomatoes in the next cabinet. I also saw a salad bag that still looks edible. How does that sound?”

  Fisting his hands on his hips, Noble studied his guest. “And if it sucks, we still have the Chef Boyardee.”

  7

  It didn’t suck. Far from it. Landon’s food was the best meal he’d had since Christmas Day when his father made prime rib. “How’d you learn to cook like this?”

  “Survival,” Landon mumbled around a mouthful of salad.

  “What do you mean?” Noble’s eyes narrowed.

  Landon shrugged, but stayed silent. It seemed to Noble like he was choosing his words carefully or trying to figure out if he should tell Noble at all.

  “After the divorce, my mother…�
� Landon sighed, setting his plastic fork down on top of his nearly empty paper plate.

  Noble stayed silent, seeing the struggle in Landon’s eyes. He knew the man well enough to know that he would say what was on his mind if Noble was patient.

  “My mother lost interest in living her life. She thought that because my father left her for another woman that her life was over. We sure as fuck never went on another vacation. That was when I started to write. My words had the power to transport me anywhere.”

  Noble nodded, wrapped up in the story Landon was telling.

  Landon sighed. “She stopped taking care of me. Stopped cooking meals and doing the laundry. All she did was go to work and… And…” Landon sighed, looking up at Noble, whose blue eyes were locked on his own.

  “Drink.” It wasn’t a question. That explained why Landon was so hesitant to tell the story.

  Landon nodded. “Yeah. Jack Daniels was her drink of choice too. So, I had to become the man of the house, so to speak. I learned how to do the laundry and learned how to cook by checking cookbooks out of the public library.”

  “Jesus, Landon. How old were you?” Christ, what a way to grow up. As hard as his mother’s death had been on his father, he’d never felt like his dad had given up on life. If anything, Nick had redoubled his efforts to be there for him.

  “I was thirteen.”

  Noble shivered. While he'd been drinking, the only person he was hurting was himself. Knowing how strong his addiction was, it made him wonder if it would have been stronger than his love for a child. "Talk about having to grow up fast." Noble didn't know what else to say.

  Landon shrugged. "It taught me to be self-reliant and that the only person I could ever trust fully was myself."

  Before he knew what he was doing, Noble was half-way across the table reaching for Landon's hands. "There are so many people out there worthy of your trust. Don't lump everyone in with your mother, who, if you'll excuse me for saying, was selfish."